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So this blog-thingy might actually turn out to be friggin awesome, if I may say so myself 
I have been thinking, if my fuckfriend/only real friend I have etc, is drunk and makes out and sleeps on(no sex) some other guy. Should I be jelaous(is that how you write it?)?
Stuff like this is kinda complicated so if you get lost, bear with me.
So yeah, I helped my old classmate(girl) from suicide on multiple ocasions and I'm actively working to get her self-esteem back up, trying to get her to eat normally(I could use some help with that aswell actually) and I atleast TRY to keep her from cutting herself, I don't know if she still does it though, but she has said she would stop doing it for me. But then she tells me about this party she went to and the making out etc, and I actually feel, well, betrayed somehow. I did all that time-consuming stuff for her and she goes drunk and makes out with some guy and sleeps ontop of him?
But then again, we are fuckfriends, not BF/GF, and I feel if I let her know that I feel that way she will just be mad or smth. I know I probably shouldn't be jelaous, but it so weird. This is kinda getting out of hand though so I will stop now.
/emotional speech
Now, has any of you ever had a teacher that just is...wrong?
My norwegian teacher surely is goddamn fucking retardedly wrong for me, he is this 55-70(or smth) year old man that is our contact and norwegian teacher. And I just can't stand the fucker, he's so annoying always giving homework in the last minutes of class(60minute classes) when nobody is really paying attention, or on mail(that is my fault for not checking though). Or he does this...In-fucking-furiating snap with his fingers, when someone is telking in the back of class he starts snapping fingers like a madman and it drives me CRAZY!
I don't feel like writing more about him, makes me want to kill a cat with my headset or smth ^^
/rant
Well damnit, now I don't have anything to write about, why am I tellig you people about my life anyway? Why would you care? Why do people care about what other people's lives are about?
Omfg I hate such questions, different answers from everyone, why couldn't the world be like math?
Always a way to find the answer, a perfectly logical world that would make sense, but ofc it's not, and we can't make the world be like that anyway, because 99% of the worlds population are complete fucking retards that only follows the stream, and does what's socially acceptable. BRAINDEAD, thats what they are, I know I can be a complete retards sometimes so I'm not trying to say that "Everyone but me is retarded, and I'm the best", but I think it's so sad that people are having such a hard time NOT doing what is normal.
And yes, I am a goth, maybe not a completely stereotypical one but still, I don't excactly dress like most goth people do because I had no idea how, so I kinda just gave up. One thing is fucking frustrating though, people that can't tell a emo from a goth.
"Emo's hate themselves,
goth's hate everyone.
Emo's want to harm themselves,
goth's want to harm everybody else"
(or smth like that)
Not saying I would want to kill you, ofc not, but just because I dress in mostly black and don't socialize as much as noraml people, doesn't mean I go home and cut myself. I've had several awkward moments in the gym when I take of my T-Shirt people are surprised there's no scars there, and it's fucking annoying.
Now why in the world did I just tell you this? I have no fucking idea, maybe it's true that the writing stuff down shit actually is kinda cool.
And how the f*** did this post get so long ? :O
Well, trolls, it's your turn now I guess...
(Post anything, questions about, well, anything, I don't guarantee that I will have an answer that pleases you, but you asked )
EDIT: Guess I could rename to "The most retarded blog, for now"
 
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I stared at the reply box for a good 2 minutes to think of something to say, but all i can think of is:
What the hell did i just read?
Sorry.
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Hahaha, you just read something that will probably make you just as insane as I am
EDIT: or retarded if you will ^^
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I understand if this was confusing as shit, partially becuase I suck at explaining stuff, and becuase I tend to ramble, alot.
Sorry, will try not doing it too much in other posts xD
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On November 01 2011 00:52 achristes wrote:
I understand if this was confusing as shit, partially becuase I suck at explaining stuff, and becuase I tend to ramble, alot.
Sorry, will try not doing it too much in other posts xD
It's not about the how. It's about the what.
Well, i guess you teenagers need a way to deal with your problems, too. I'm probably just too much of an old, grumpy guy to have sympathy for those problems.
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I dont think you gotta explain your blog to anyone or defend it. It seems to me like you are just venting off steam and using it to get all the thoughts out of your head, which is a good thing IMO.
Also, it seems like you have more feelings for your friend than just friendship, and maybe you should bring those feelings up, if not to start dating her, but at the very least to remain honost to each other.
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5/5 will check for updates daily
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Is your fuckbuddy a goth? She cuts herself. Seems kind of silly to talk shit on that at the end of your post there.
As far as the girl goes, I'd say you are kind of ambivalent towards her. And then you also realize that you may want something more since you were jealous for a brief moment.
I'd say, just tell her how you feel exactly. Don't hold back anything, just spell it all out and let her take the lead from there. You won't really mind if she ends up bailing out right? right?
Teachers are teachers, I listened to a radio show last night with the proclaimed 'happiest man on earth' who said the biggest problem people have in this world is that they tend to get angry or complain or dwell on the negative of the situations they get into. Where as his people in tibet for example would get their car stuck in the mud and everyone getting all muddy or trapped on the top of the car and just all be laughing at the silliness of the situation. Just find the humor in this, I mean it sounds funny to me reading what you wrote about the guy, snapping his fingers like some kind of nazi or valley girl and barking orders at people. Laugh at his shitty way of doing things and assigning homework, joke at him about it maybe?
As far as your philisophical blog end there, yea you're right. But everyone supposedly is good at something, or has some kind of talent. We are a social species whether you want to admit it or deny it. We need input and output to survive, in fact newborn babies will actually DIE if not held. It's pretty trippy to think about how much we need other people, when the majority of them we'd wish were just not alive. Just remember that life is a journey, not some destination you reach and you're smooth sailing. That's kinda what that shitty Ma$e (mo money mo problems) song was about.
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Congratz to SpoR for actually managing to take this atleast semi-seriously :p
Now, my fuckbuddy/friend is well goth, but she cut herself because her ex-bf treated her like shit and she didn't dare to leave him because she thought she didn't have anyone else. So I really can't just bail on her(not that I want to either), then she would be even more sad/depressed now that she just got over her ex I'm just going to ditch her? I'm not that big of an ass.
Now I realize I shouldn't have used the term "fuckfriend/buddy" because we are more than that, I have my problems that she helps me with, she has her problems I help her with. And you grow close when stuff like that happens, and I don't want to really have a GF as it is extremely time-consuming and dedicating, and she is not ready at all for a new BF(If she asks me, I'll do it, but I wont push that subject with her, atleast not yet.).
So it is kindof really close fuckfriends/buddies. We talked about it just a couple of hours ago and we're fine now
About the teacher, he's a fucktard, but he wont ruin my education. But yeah, he has a reputation for being a nazi ^^
Yeah, I kindof noticed that after she started talking with me, before I was like the complete outsider, I didn't talk to anyone, go out with anyone or anything that involved somebody else.
Now I feel better, in a way, now I actually have a little social network, but now I have to do stuff with people. Still, I don't tie very close bonds with people, and I have a HUMONGOUS trust issue, I don't trust anyone fully, the one I trust the most is actually "my" girl. We think the same way, so I can easily relate to her.
We are like the outcasts, so to speak^^, and the only person to help me for instance if I fail in my life is actually her. But this is dragging out to be a whole new blogpost so I'll end it here.
(Note to self, dont ever, ever post during the day, I am so much more relaxed and calm in the evening/night)
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Hmmm... This seems really similar to another blog, but it's not yours... Almost exactly the same, even the terms used. PBU? Or just huge coincidence?
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Ehh, I did not copy anyones blog, I almost never read blogs either, but link please ?
And I do not know what a "PBU" is but I guess it has something to do with stealing someones intellectual property? Then if they are not copying my blog(because I'm not copyng his/hers) then it is a huge coincidence.
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This kind of reminds me of some of lastshadows old posts for some reason. Anyways, my general advice is to try and step back from problems and not take things too personally because, like you said people do a lot of stupid stuff. Then you should respond honestly, but not overly emotionally. Good luck!
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Just a side note, but if you are in the relationship just to help her or out of pity that is not a healthy relationship. I mean from your post after mine it sounds like you guys are actually pretty good together, but don't stay with her because you think she will hurt herself or you will hurt her. Stay with her because you actually want to be with her. If you decide to break up with her, its possible that you can get her to think shes the one breaking up with you so less damage will be done to her if you care. That or you can get her some professional help before you decide to break it off. Disregard all of this if you have no intentions of doing that, just food for thought though.
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No, I do NOT want to break up, we aren't really GF/BF either, would you call it breaking up if it's not GF/BF?
But yeah, I'm not with her because I feel sorry for her, I want to be with her aswell, but thanks for some "break-up advice" ^^
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What...... t.t How the F*** indeed >.<
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EPT
