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It's day three of the harrowing search for Torte. Not a blog or post has been seen in nearly three days, leading to wild speculation. Some have said he will be back soon and we'll all forget about it but others are less sure.
White-Ra said:
Who are you? Get ofk my property.
Chill said:
I love Torte de Lini! His incitefulinsightful comments in girl blogs are really educational! I hope he returns soon
micronesia said:
I didn't kill him
R1CH said:
I RUN THIS SHIT. WHAT?
MrCon said:
Oui, Torte de Lini tres bon!
Journalists note: This quote was translated into broken french from MrCons native language, Swahili.
Ares[Effort] said:
I love Torte no homo but that guy is great. I hope he returns soon.
Ares when later reached for comment said lolololol trolled nooob
Hot_Bid, who was not solicited for an interview, interviewbombed every message
Elly said: Nothing it's a freaking elephant but its so cute and I had the picture lying around from the LR thread anyway. ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/JMzX4.jpg)
Day 3 of TDL watch continues. Will he return? Will he continue posting in vast volumes of vacuity? Will Probe1 ever be funny? We don't know folks but we will continue to bring you updated news and totally legit quotes that I really got. I wouldn't lie, I have journalistic excellence and intengrity. And stuff.
  
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o god, is this going to be another manifesto style manhunt with torte?
seriously, this is highly unusual, I dont remember torte ever mentioning he had a life outside of TL so this could be bad.
Edit- We miss you, come back Torte!
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His disappearance coincides with the recent absence of girl blogs (besides the ILK one which is a dying effort since ILK - or should I say PBF - is once again gone). I think people should bring out their girl blogs and he'll pop back in!
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I think the pygmies got him.
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Whatever you do, don't look in my basement. The corpse smell is just an air freshener...
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I would assume TL.net bot is a suspect in this random unexpected occurence.
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He'll be back... and in greater numbers.
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On August 13 2011 01:59 ClysmiC wrote:
He'll be back... and in greater numbers.
lol.
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Ares[Effort]
DEMACIA6550 Posts
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Netherlands45349 Posts
On August 13 2011 01:59 ClysmiC wrote:
He'll be back... and in greater numbers.
haha well played.
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Torte went to the dentist peeps.
And judging by his blogs, it will take him a while to recover from all the work.
Yes, even his fingers.
But I have faith he will be back, and with a nicer smile.
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Topics like this always make me wonder: if a relatively prominant poster who didn't know anyone else on the forums in real life suddenly died, how would people ever find out?
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Torte not at the forums? Another sign of the Apocalypse.
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On August 13 2011 02:07 MassHysteria wrote:
Torte went to the dentist peeps.
And judging by his blogs, it will take him a while to recover from all the work.
Yes, even his fingers.
But I have faith he will be back, and with a nicer smile.
I take your logic, reject it and inject my own form of hysteria. Lies and deceitful interviews.
+ Show Spoiler +micronesia killed him shh dont say anything hes watching
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micronesia, in the study, with the golf club.
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On August 13 2011 02:23 SonuvBob wrote:
micronesia, in the study, with the golf club.
No, it was Paper, in the dentist office, with the electric drill
duh...
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On August 13 2011 01:59 ClysmiC wrote:
He'll be back... and in greater numbers.
oh god lol
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I think it was the candle stick.
So do we find out where he works contact his boss and the Canadian embassy?
rekrul?
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I heard he had an unfortunate incident at an Italian restaurant.
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Professor Plum.
It's always, Professor Plum.
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the Dagon Knight4004 Posts
I am a fully qualified text-based bounty hunter.
I'll read his posts, get a sense of his mind. There's little enough to a man's text and textuality that can't be figured out with careful attention to his punctuation, post timing and grammatical errors. Where most posters who go missing might leave behind a dearth of evidence, shattered and fragmentary, TDL presents the perfect reverse. His is a glut, a vast ocean of data through which we must sift to find any relevant details.
It will not be easy. It will not be forgiving. We may lose good posters along the way, but it can be done.
I'll read his posts get a feel for the man, then I'll find him, trap him, and bring him back, no questions asked.
+ Show Spoiler +SirJolt's Case Diary, Day One:
Go North
Go North
Go East
Look at TDL posts
Examine TDL posts
Use extensive proposter knowledge
*Unsuccessful*
Go to sleep.
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Its quite obvious, hes joined the adventure club (not the touchy boys one) and is on wild adventures with Elvis and Jimi Hendrix.
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United States17042 Posts
ask sirjolt the problogger
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SIRJOLT! I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS REGARDING THE WHEREABOUTS OF TORTE DE-
*A knife thrown by an unknown suspect hits me in the back, killing me*
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SirJolt, what you seek is not meant to be found. It is in the interests of select extremely influential parties that you do not uncover it. *swigs from hip-flask* Above all else, beware the man with the massi-
"kraaak crouuwwaaak" (T/N *ghasps for breath*)
-ham......
*Collapses on floor, spewing freshly poisoned pony-blood from his canteen.*
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On August 13 2011 02:57 GHOSTCLAW wrote:
ask sirjolt the problogger
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/si9ci.png)
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Something tells me that Torte de Lini is reading this right now, deciding not to post for a few more days, and snickering to himself.
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Straight outta Johto18973 Posts
Torte... He was such a good friend... It's a real tragedy what happened. That thing with Micronesia.
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The amount of inside jokes that I am unaware of on Team Liquid knows no bounds.
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TDL MISSING?
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/1JEV8.gif)
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United States4796 Posts
Hey guys. Torte said he's gone for a month on vacation. He's asked me to look after Dynamic Gaming in his presence. I don't have the chat logs but I'm his friend.
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I can assure you all that Torte is in a better place.
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On August 13 2011 05:31 DivinO wrote:
Hey guys. Torte said he's gone for a month on vacation. He's asked me to look after Dynamic Gaming in his presence. I don't have the chat logs but I'm his friend.
Ahh so he got ninja banned for 30 days. Is he enjoying Disneyland?
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United States24698 Posts
Ok here's the last thing I actually heard from Torte. I hung out with him on Thursday, August 4. On August 5, he called me in the afternoon asking if we were available for dinner again. I told him something similar to "we met up with an old buddy of my friend and we are going to grab an early dinner in X location because he is going to a backstreet boys concert. You can come if you..."
Torte said very sheepishly that it was ok (and wasn't coming). I think he might have misunderstood what I said and thought that I myself was going to the backstreet boys concert. This might explain his permanent disappearance from life.
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So you admit to being the last one to see him alive!
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Micronesia is GodFather. SirJolt, we need a DT check on Probe1. We'll have to presume mafia killed TDL.
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The killer is Micronesia's evil twin Macronesia.
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You want the truth? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH.
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On August 13 2011 08:16 AnxiousHippo wrote:
Micronesia is GodFather. SirJolt, we need a DT check on Probe1. We'll have to presume mafia killed TDL.
I can assure you this assumption is false...
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We ALL know your part in this Meapak_Ziphh
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On August 13 2011 05:12 paper wrote:TDL MISSING?
Hahahaha. Yes. Also, nice dance.
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ALLEYCAT BLUES50218 Posts
oh wow torte di looney is missing?
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On August 13 2011 11:57 BLinD-RawR wrote:
oh wow torte di looney is missing?
no. hes confirmed dead, read the thread dammit.
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On August 13 2011 05:12 paper wrote:TDL MISSING?
Indeed, hopefully a month of no posting can some how level out the old 9000 per day average, somewhat. It's gotta feel like a vacation from TL when you're on here that much
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I think the illuminati didn't account for his quick rise in post count, and didn't like the attention he was getting. He wasn't under their control so they took him and locked him down in that dungeon where they keep JFK and Elvis.
hmmm.
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I don't know. Kind of feels like a vacation.
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the Dagon Knight4004 Posts
Day Two: The Case Continues
Having spent the entirety of one day racking up expenses (any good text-bounty-hunter will be charging expenses at around five hundred esports dollars per day), I was fully prepared to sink my teeth into the meat of the search for Torte De Lini on day two.
The first question was one of where to begin. Now, we all know that Torte’s signature, his calling card, has been a practical ubiquity that is, in these modern times, unmatched. While this might seem a piece of peculiar good fortune, it has the effect of muddying the data. Imagine, if you will, Sherlock Holmes investigating a murder and opening a drawer to find a seven hundred knives each soaked in human blood. The ocean of data presents difficulties. Thus, I have determined his blog to be the prime source of Torte-data.
Case notes:
1. Hates going to the dentist [and his dentist specifically]
2. Loves Disney
3. Loves cities/photographs of cities/cityporn [poss. metrosexual?]
4. Loves clouds [partic. cirrus & cumulo-nimbus – poss. became vapour?]
5. Focus on mother figure [second mother? – poss. reverse/double Freudian implications? Rare Elektra/Orpheus metacomplex? Interrogate w/behavioural analyst]
Speculation: Micronesia, in the dental office, with the golf club? Mouth open, teeth everywhere – if true, easy to prove.
Bright white of teeth still embedded in thick red gobbets of blood on walls?
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SirJolt, after investigating the dentist he frequents i can assure you there were no bright white teeth embedded in thick red gobblets of blood and gums on the wall.
Micronesia may have taken him somewhere else to commit the murder.
Even tho there were no signs of struggle there were large quantities of sedatives present.
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Has anyone seen the butler for three days?
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Torte not posting for three days? I'm honestly getting worried.
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How is the house getting cleaned? Does the maid have a key ^^ ?
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Ok...still no sighting from TDL? Mods can you check his last login, we may have to contact local authorities for a missing person.
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We need to call the Canadian consulate ASAP.
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On August 15 2011 11:14 Aeres wrote:
We need to call the Canadian consulate ASAP.
Does anyone know the number for where he works?
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uh oh... i hope nothing bad happened to him
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United States24698 Posts
Do you guys want me to just call him?
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call the japanese embassy
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On August 16 2011 09:47 micronesia wrote:
Do you guys want me to just call him?
It would certainly provide some closure.
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Roffles
Pitcairn19291 Posts
On August 16 2011 09:47 micronesia wrote:
Do you guys want me to just call him?
Nah
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It's sadly ironic, how so many people are abrasive to him when he's here, insinuating that they don't want him around... Then when he finally leaves, you post this thread LOL. Poor Torte, it must be a hard e-life for him.
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I can't even remember this joke being funny anymore. But I feel famous now that fana posted in my blog.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/3fDg4.jpg)
You'll never see any shit like this again.
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On August 13 2011 01:59 ClysmiC wrote:
He'll be back... and in greater numbers.
Oh man I laughed so hard
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He is preparing for the 10000th post...so he needs pics of himself and progamers, that's why he flew to korea. And the twist ending: He is actually a she, and she is noone else than Fanaticist, disguised as a dead penguin.
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your Country52797 Posts
On August 17 2011 04:27 blubbdavid wrote:
He is preparing for the 10000th post...so he needs pics of himself and progamers, that's why he flew to korea. And the twist ending: He is actually a she, and she is noone else than Fanaticist, disguised as a dead penguin.
I thought Fanaticist was ILOVEKITTENS.
Not that I've been here long enough to know the whole story..
Edit: Oh wait, the second half of this particular post is a joke...
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On August 13 2011 02:44 SirJolt wrote:I am a fully qualified text-based bounty hunter. I'll read his posts, get a sense of his mind. There's little enough to a man's text and textuality that can't be figured out with careful attention to his punctuation, post timing and grammatical errors. Where most posters who go missing might leave behind a dearth of evidence, shattered and fragmentary, TDL presents the perfect reverse. His is a glut, a vast ocean of data through which we must sift to find any relevant details. It will not be easy. It will not be forgiving. We may lose good posters along the way, but it can be done. I'll read his posts get a feel for the man, then I'll find him, trap him, and bring him back, no questions asked. + Show Spoiler +SirJolt's Case Diary, Day One:
Go North
Go North
Go East
Look at TDL posts
Examine TDL posts
Use extensive proposter knowledge
*Unsuccessful*
Go to sleep.
YOU DIDN'T PICK UP THE LAMP
WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP THE LAMP
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your Country52797 Posts
On August 17 2011 11:34 ymir233 wrote:Show nested quote +On August 13 2011 02:44 SirJolt wrote:I am a fully qualified text-based bounty hunter. I'll read his posts, get a sense of his mind. There's little enough to a man's text and textuality that can't be figured out with careful attention to his punctuation, post timing and grammatical errors. Where most posters who go missing might leave behind a dearth of evidence, shattered and fragmentary, TDL presents the perfect reverse. His is a glut, a vast ocean of data through which we must sift to find any relevant details. It will not be easy. It will not be forgiving. We may lose good posters along the way, but it can be done. I'll read his posts get a feel for the man, then I'll find him, trap him, and bring him back, no questions asked. + Show Spoiler +SirJolt's Case Diary, Day One:
Go North
Go North
Go East
Look at TDL posts
Examine TDL posts
Use extensive proposter knowledge
*Unsuccessful*
Go to sleep. YOU DIDN'T PICK UP THE LAMP WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP THE LAMP
Because he was supposed to pick up the lightbulb.
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So I noticed finally something is missing in the last week or so and than i realized that torte was gone from the LR's(Yes I'm slow).I made haste to the search bar and I find this blog.
Now I'm pretty sure torte canceled his internet for this month to make sure he doesn't go over 10 k posts so he could prepare for it,but that wasn't the point i was going to make.
Probe1,buddy,I find it ironic you made this blog
+ Show Spoiler +
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Glad to know he's not around only because he never took my friend request on Bad Company 2 and I was gonna play some games with him, I was thinking he just didn't wanna hit the accept button lol. If he's really getting his teeth worked on hope it goes well for him, hate dentists. XD
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On August 13 2011 01:59 ClysmiC wrote:
He'll be back... and in greater numbers.
Oh dear lord no
SPARTANS RAISE YOUR SHIELDS!
You've heard it here first
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United States4796 Posts
Torte went to visit someone special. He hopes you're all well. He'll be back come September.
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Someone special doesn't have internet?
He has responsibilities you know. ;p
The last thing he wrote:
"Should of been a Pokemon battle and TF2 with BW imo"
That's so like him ;p
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your Country52797 Posts
On August 20 2011 23:48 ComaDose wrote:
Someone special doesn't have internet?
He has responsibilities you know. ;p
The last thing he wrote:
"Should of been a Pokemon battle and TF2 with BW imo"
That's so like him ;p
Yeah ^_^
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
if torte is a smurf he's officially the most brilliant troll to have ever existed on TL.net since zia
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On August 21 2011 08:24 Rekrul wrote:
if torte is a smurf he's officially the most brilliant troll to have ever existed on TL.net since zia
LOL that was when I first started learning about TL!!! ahhh the memories. But seriously, Torte is going to come back and we'll never hear the end of this. ^^
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Netherlands45349 Posts
On August 21 2011 08:24 Rekrul wrote:
if torte is a smurf he's officially the most brilliant troll to have ever existed on TL.net since zia
Its thedeadhaji's smurf imo
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the Dagon Knight4004 Posts
Day Eight:
I had all but given up the chase. I have hunted many texts, but I know enough to know when a man won’t be found. I’d heard the hints, the second-hand titbits that said, “Torte is fine, don’t worry about him,” and I thought to myself, if he’d rather not be found, then perhaps that’s what I should let happen.
Perhaps if you really love something you to ought let it go.
As with so many of the things we pursue in life, it was only when I stopped looking that I found Torte… or perhaps Torte found me. I sat down today to play some Bad Company 2 and, having put myself through the ordeal of doing a fresh OS install. I sat down to my machine and opened Steam.
New desktop, new browser, new IM client; the familiar turned alien. Sitting there, looking at that strange foreignness, a message popped up.
Torte de Lini: Great game!
We spoke then, for the best part of an hour. He was well, he seems shocked that people noticed his having gone. I mentioned that there was a thread, but he seemed to think it an exaggeration.
He will be back soon, he says.
+ Show Spoiler +SirJolt’s Log, Day Eight:Go North Go North Look Macbook Use Windows 7 Disk Use Steam.msi Look Steam You see [FOOD] Torte de LiniTalk to Torte de Lini Quest objective achieved!Look mirror You see a man with nothing left to him.Wallow You sit slowly in the fading evening light. The room around you slowly turns to grey as your eyes adjust.Use Lamp You did not pick up the lamp on Day One. Instead, you simply sit there in the dark. You fall asleep at the desk and, your life bereft of all meaning, never wake.GAME OVER + Show Spoiler +Thank you for playing SirJolt’s Quest: The Hunt for Torte de Lini. This game has been brought to you by TeamLiquid.net and has been a Probe1 and SirJolt production.
Special thanks to Torte de Lini
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From: Manifesto7 TL Staff [ 23059 posts | Profile | Buddy ]
Subject: Re: The hell?
Date: 2/23/11 08:39
My turn to ask a question. What was your previous account?
*Also, this is a very sweet and lovely topic :3
(be back in september)
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ALLEYCAT BLUES50218 Posts
On August 22 2011 00:52 Torte de Lini wrote:Show nested quote +From: Manifesto7 TL Staff [ 23059 posts | Profile | Buddy ]
Subject: Re: The hell?
Date: 2/23/11 08:39
My turn to ask a question. What was your previous account? *Also, this is a very sweet and lovely topic :3
welcome back,again I'm sorry you had to leave,and also 8 more posts to 10k for you,speaking of which I blogged my 10k.
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Marshall Islands3404 Posts
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your Country52797 Posts
On August 21 2011 09:42 SirJolt wrote:Day Eight: I had all but given up the chase. I have hunted many texts, but I know enough to know when a man won’t be found. I’d heard the hints, the second-hand titbits that said, “Torte is fine, don’t worry about him,” and I thought to myself, if he’d rather not be found, then perhaps that’s what I should let happen. Perhaps if you really love something you to ought let it go. As with so many of the things we pursue in life, it was only when I stopped looking that I found Torte… or perhaps Torte found me. I sat down today to play some Bad Company 2 and, having put myself through the ordeal of doing a fresh OS install. I sat down to my machine and opened Steam. New desktop, new browser, new IM client; the familiar turned alien. Sitting there, looking at that strange foreignness, a message popped up. We spoke then, for the best part of an hour. He was well, he seems shocked that people noticed his having gone. I mentioned that there was a thread, but he seemed to think it an exaggeration. He will be back soon, he says. + Show Spoiler +SirJolt’s Log, Day Eight:Go North Go North Look Macbook Use Windows 7 Disk Use Steam.msi Look Steam You see [FOOD] Torte de LiniTalk to Torte de Lini Quest objective achieved!Look mirror You see a man with nothing left to him.Wallow You sit slowly in the fading evening light. The room around you slowly turns to grey as your eyes adjust.Use Lamp You did not pick up the lamp on Day One. Instead, you simply sit there in the dark. You fall asleep at the desk and, your life bereft of all meaning, never wake.GAME OVER + Show Spoiler +Thank you for playing SirJolt’s Quest: The Hunt for Torte de Lini. This game has been brought to you by TeamLiquid.net and has been a Probe1 and SirJolt production.
Special thanks to Torte de Lini
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOOO YOU MISSED THE LAMP
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This may be elaborate hype for his 10k post?
I'd really like to know the answer to Manifesto's question ;p
I'm surprised he didn't post in this thread considering what happened to him.
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The man must be suffering from withdrawals... (currently at 2002 [read: 9998] posts)
On August 27 2011 00:46 Torte de Lini wrote:I wanted to save my nearing posts, but:Private message me, I can cover you for all of Montreal. I live in downtown Montreal, 8 minutes walking distance from the metro and about 12 to the Rail that you need to your next stop. 15 minutes to get to the main street of Montreal. I will provide you water, food, shower and the internet/an extra laptop if you need to log your travels. I can also pick you up from the airport via taxi and/or public bus (will pay for your ticket). I live alone or my brother is mooching off me, so there are little disturbances. There are issues that I will discuss with you privately: - Siblings may be mooching off my place, so you either have to stay on my room's floor if the couch is taken.
- I have school which means you need to be out of the place as well [until I come back] D:
I also need a TL member to validate who you are/good intentions. Bring your swimsuit if you want to use the pool/jacuzzi/sauna/gym. Fucking Chill one-upping me D: Editing further information~
The funny thing is, after he finally get's the 10k out of the way he'll be so post-frenzied that it'll be a month before he disappears again for 20k.
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On August 22 2011 00:52 Torte de Lini wrote:Show nested quote +From: Manifesto7 TL Staff [ 23059 posts | Profile | Buddy ]
Subject: Re: The hell?
Date: 2/23/11 08:39
My turn to ask a question. What was your previous account? *Also, this is a very sweet and lovely topic :3(be back in september)
o.O
Why does Torte have 2002 posts lol
didn't he have like 9k or something
haji curse?
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I'm investigating this 24/24 starting now.
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United Kingdom10823 Posts
On August 13 2011 01:56 OpticalShot wrote:
His disappearance coincides with the recent absence of girl blogs (besides the ILK one which is a dying effort since ILK - or should I say PBF - is once again gone). I think people should bring out their girl blogs and he'll pop back in!
That post is dying, no matter how hard we try. is it possible that all girl problems on TL are solved?
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On August 29 2011 19:58 Hassybaby wrote:Show nested quote +On August 13 2011 01:56 OpticalShot wrote:
His disappearance coincides with the recent absence of girl blogs (besides the ILK one which is a dying effort since ILK - or should I say PBF - is once again gone). I think people should bring out their girl blogs and he'll pop back in! That post is dying, no matter how hard we try. is it possible that all girl problems on TL are solved?
Or perhaps everyone is now busy with the start of school, so the girl problems that were solved at summer's end have yet to manifest themselves so early in the school year. Or at least in theory.
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On August 29 2011 16:28 SenorChang wrote:Show nested quote +On August 22 2011 00:52 Torte de Lini wrote:From: Manifesto7 TL Staff [ 23059 posts | Profile | Buddy ]
Subject: Re: The hell?
Date: 2/23/11 08:39
My turn to ask a question. What was your previous account? *Also, this is a very sweet and lovely topic :3(be back in september) o.O Why does Torte have 2002 posts lol didn't he have like 9k or something haji curse?
Or perhaps he joined TL back in 2002. I have my ideas of his old id. Probably accurate too, lol.
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Reviving this topic because I love myself.
10,000th post made.
3 things:
1. Celebratory project will be in honor of Manifesto7, he's the king!
2. Anniversary post(s)/project will be on my one-year anniversary (the 3rd, that's when I come back as well)
3. 10,000 posts...
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Did you make the 10,000th somewhere we cant see it?
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On August 31 2011 02:53 Torte de Lini wrote:Reviving this topic because I love myself. 10,000th post made. 3 things: 1. Celebratory project will be in honor of Manifesto7, he's the king! 2. Anniversary post(s)/project will be on my one-year anniversary (the 3rd, that's when I come back as well) 3. 10,000 posts...
Awwwww what a cute wittle kitty :3
P.S. what's your other account.
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Original Message From Manifesto7: If I had to bet, I would say there is no way this is your first account on TL. Show nested quote +Original Message From Torte de Lini: My previous account? On Team Liquid? What makes you ask that? That's particularly odd. Original Message From Manifesto7:
My turn to ask a question. What was your previous account?
Ooh, the suspense!
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EPT
![[image loading]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-c1X9-H1LuJA/TdBEGvo9BpI/AAAAAAAABg4/jN2ng54dY9M/s1600/its-time-to-stop-posting-cat-cats-kitten-kitty-pic-picture-funny-lolcat-cute-fun-lovely-photo-images.jpg)
