EPTJust broke up - Page 3
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Zapperkhan
United States437 Posts
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JollYRoGeR
Sweden342 Posts
User was warned for this post | ||
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e.soul[gm]
Sierra Leone254 Posts
On July 01 2010 17:34 gchan wrote: Thing is is that your definition of love changes as you get older. You start incorporating financial responsibility, similar life goals, maturity levels, and family backgrounds, among other things, into your definition of love. fucking agree with this, it's depressing as fuck. for example, i'm a poor fag with no sense of direction in life, broken family, just scraping a long until i figure something out, but for some reason i attract higher "class" girls from better families, better financial situations. we date for a bit, work around our differences for a bit, but it always ends when the girl realizes i'm not really a long term partner, because i'm probably going to remain a failure for the rest of my life, so she leaves me, or i get insecure about the aforementioned differences and leave her. i'm 19, i can only see this getting worse. and jollyroger, don't be a dink. | ||
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michiko
United States75 Posts
And yes, as you grow, situations and persona changes. If you're 19, how AT ALL, can you say you're a loser going no where in life? I don't care what your life situation is, you can change it... I am a pretty pessimistic person, but try to look at the future with hope, not disdain. Edit -- Sorry OP, i know this doesn't have to do with your Topic...But just trying to spread some Good word, I guess, perhaps even as self-therapy - I'm going through a tough time right now too... Also - the above is opinion, everyone has one. They are just philosophies I've used to keep my sanity as Life deals us all 7-2offsuit from time to time. | ||
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Mickey
United States2606 Posts
On July 02 2010 00:01 e.soul[gm] wrote: fucking agree with this, it's depressing as fuck. for example, i'm a poor fag with no sense of direction in life, broken family, just scraping a long until i figure something out, but for some reason i attract higher "class" girls from better families, better financial situations. we date for a bit, work around our differences for a bit, but it always ends when the girl realizes i'm not really a long term partner, because i'm probably going to remain a failure for the rest of my life, so she leaves me, or i get insecure about the aforementioned differences and leave her. i'm 19, i can only see this getting worse. and jollyroger, don't be a dink. You need to stop putting yourself down and going into those situations. You're 19, almost nobody at that age knows what they want to do with their life. Hell I'm 21 in a couple weeks and I still don't know. Live day to day, but with a long term goal of becoming a better and happier person. | ||
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chaoser
United States5541 Posts
Long distance, whether there is cheating or not, is a very hard thing to pull off by itself. Being constantly lonely sucks and knowing that someone is out there but can't be with you sometimes adds to that sadness and in the end it might just boil down to wondering how long this shittiness is going to last. You said she was in the military, maybe she doesn't know when the next time she's going to see you is going to be and that kind of hopelessness is really weighting on her. It's not just simple distance, there's a lot of other things in it too. You said you guys were still talking the same way at the end of that call. I'm not saying you should still stick around and wait but from the way I see it, maybe things can pick up again when and if you guys see each other again. | ||
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
I've been with a girl for roughly 5 years now (missing out on some stuff but hey) - anyway a long time ago she had to go back to live with her family having no clue if she was ever going to come back... It took about a month before we sort of "broke up". Then about 6 months later she got a chance to come back and yay. | ||
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e.soul[gm]
Sierra Leone254 Posts
On July 02 2010 00:43 Mickey wrote: You need to stop putting yourself down and going into those situations. how do i do that when girls of my "class" are completely undesirable? | ||
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FraCuS
United States1072 Posts
On July 01 2010 21:26 coltrane wrote: You should not support anyone going into a military career. EVER. why would you say that? | ||
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Risen
United States7927 Posts
On July 01 2010 22:48 Amber[LighT] wrote: I always fear that distance could ruin a relationship, and I can relate. I'm hitting 2 years this month with my girlfriend, and with the job market being so iffy I may need to consider moving, and my girlfriend may not be able to move (strict italian family). So I have thought about this on-and-off occasionally. It really takes a lot of effort to maintain a relationship when you're going to be really far away. Not to say men don't get emotional over this crap, but women think about it 10x more than we do, so it's probably been eating her up inside. The fact that you tried to put a smile on your face when you heard she was being stationed was not what she wanted to hear. In my experience the woman always wants you to have a form of control over her decisions. She probably wanted to hear that you weren't comfortable with this. Women like opening up to guys who can relate to them. Saying you're okay with her being away was probably what made up her mind that you didn't care enough to fight for her (the logic is ridiculous, but it's women we're talking about). Sorry to hear about the breakup but I've come to realize passive behavior doesn't work for women... might not be exactly what you're dealing with, but take what I said however you like. Best of luck in the future (Also I'm in no way shape or form saying you're a bad boyfriend or anything) It's fine, I'm still logical enough to see what you're saying... but we've been living over a thousand miles away from each other for around a year now, so I don't know what changed :/ (other than the fucking cost of airline tickets to go see her... jesus hawaii is expensive) | ||
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chaoser
United States5541 Posts
On July 02 2010 01:36 e.soul[gm] wrote: how do i do that when girls of my "class" are completely undesirable? Level up? Change Classes? It's way easier to say than to do but you COULD motivate yourself to change for the better... | ||
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kidd
United States2848 Posts
His point is that military in the US is probably one of the hardest things to manage a relationship in. People can basically be shipped out and re-stationed (or even sent to war) without any prior notice. It makes it very very hard to maintain a relationship with any person, be it family or signifcant other, unless of course you are the type that can drop everything and move with them every single time. One example is my best friend who is in the Air Force. He has been serving only 4 years so far and already he has gone to Afghanistan twice and now is going to Turkey for at least a year. That's how the military works especially if you are at a younger age, you just never know and do not have a choice as to where you will be sent. It is very hard. | ||
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Risen
United States7927 Posts
I can understand what he means. Unless you're married to the person, the military will move around your boyfriend/girlfriend a lot. In the time that I've been with her she's been stationed in New Jersey, Petaluma, and now Hawaii... all in about a year. The post above me explains it perfectly. | ||
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Risen
United States7927 Posts
On July 01 2010 23:54 JollYRoGeR wrote: so she's available? number? The sad thing is, I probably would have found this funny two days ago. I would have known it was fucked up and I'd never post something like this, but scrolling past it I would probably chuckle a little inside. I just hope nothing like this ever happens to you. | ||
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On July 02 2010 01:40 FraCuS wrote: why would you say that? I don't necessarily agree with the "ever" part but I would be disappointed if anyone I liked went to the military... Then again I'm a gentleman so somehow I only have friends who would rather get educated while their brains are still soft =D Seriously though there's a lot of stuff that's wrong about the military. While it's necessary, in it's current state, might as well let other people handle it. It sucks so bad it can't be anything but a last resort option. | ||
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Risen
United States7927 Posts
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Fontong
United States6454 Posts
Short breaks can be helpful to a relationship sometimes, as they give you a bit of time to yourself and with your friends, since you can manage having only light communications during them. I don't think we could manage a permanent long distance relationship though. That would definitely be too much to ask for either of us | ||
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QueueQueue
Canada1000 Posts
It will suck for a while as you deal with the emotional fallout, however, over time it will get better. Just try to keep yourself busy with the things that make you happy. Eat right and exercise. Don't underestimate how well this will help you deal with negative emotions. Good luck, I hope all works out well for you. | ||
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michiko
United States75 Posts
Gosh, I can't tell you how many times I've been saddened by an event or w/e and I just go out and beat the shit out of myself by the way of jogging/sprinting. Right when you feel the tears coming, SPRINT. SPRINT TILL UR PANTING AND CANT GO ANYMORE. If the tears still come, let them. After your dripping in sweat, sufficiently tired and cried out you can confidently tell yourself that NOTHING is going to keep you down, that NOTHING will prevent you from achieving your success. I know I'm going to be doing that in about 4.5 hours when I get home... EDIT -- Some people can't do that, maybe do to current weight, or life style, or climate... And sometimes its even tough to get yourself to do that jogging. Anyone else have methods they use when depressed (not alchy...heh, we all know that one)? I surely could use a few more methods! OP would benefit too! | ||
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Risen
United States7927 Posts
On July 02 2010 02:14 michiko wrote: Yeah, run that shit out man. Gosh, I can't tell you how many times I've been saddened by an event or w/e and I just go out and beat the shit out of myself by the way of jogging/sprinting. Right when you feel the tears coming, SPRINT. SPRINT TILL UR PANTING AND CANT GO ANYMORE. If the tears still come, let them. After your dripping in sweat, sufficiently tired and cried out you can confidently tell yourself that NOTHING is going to keep you down, that NOTHING will prevent you from achieving your success. I know I'm going to be doing that in about 4.5 hours when I get home... EDIT -- Some people can't do that, maybe do to current weight, or life style, or climate... And sometimes its even tough to get yourself to do that jogging. Anyone else have methods they use when depressed (not alchy...heh, we all know that one)? I surely could use a few more methods! OP would benefit too! Yeah well, I can run a long, long distance. Working out and jogging/sprinting sounds like it will help a lot, thanks for the advice. I know I have had racquetball planned with a friend tonight so maybe I'll go trash him on the court to make myself feel better. | ||
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