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My girlfriend just called to let me know that our relationship of two years is over. She's been at at school for a military branch for the past few months so we haven't gotten to see each other. I knew she was slightly unhappy, but today she just dropped this on me out of nowhere.
If it was just a clean breakup like, she had found someone else, or she just didn't love me anymore I'd totally get it, I'd understand. It would hurt like hell but at least I could wrap my head around it, but here's the thing...
She says she still loves me, and through our whole conversation she was saying huni, and shit even when we hung up it was with our usual I love you, muah, bye. She just said the distance has become to much for her to handle, since she's getting stationed on a pacific island, and she's just too depressed. Does she think I wasn't depressed about it?
I put on a smile when she told me she had gotten stationed out there, and I have supported her through her entire career in the armed forces while I've been going to college. But ugh... this hurts guys. I never imagined anything could hurt this bad, but fuck, I've broken bones and I swear to you right now I'd snap both my shins if it would keep her with me.
I'm at my wits end, and this probably isn't even coherent, but I needed to get it out.
 
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When a girl says 'the distance was too much' in my experience it means shes already cheated. I'm sorry bro
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I'm sorry. I don't really have much advice to give, except to say I've gone through the same thing as you... it's a terrible feeling. You aren't alone feeling like this, you'll get through it like everyone else, even if it does take a bit of time.
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long distance relationships are dam near impossible
sorry man, but you can't say you didn't see this coming if yall haven't seen each other for months. thats too hard for anyone. and getting stationed on a pacific island is just brutal.
you were either gonna both be miserable, or you could rip this bandage off. its gonna suck for a few days, but you'll bounce back.
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i lost mine before to distance... ur not alone
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On July 01 2010 16:26 TheAntZ wrote:
When a girl says 'the distance was too much' in my experience it means shes already cheated. I'm sorry bro
dude, don't say stupid things like this. I was involved in a semi long distance relationship and we broke up without either of us cheating (99% sure).
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I would like to say that, in my experience, distance between lovers leads to abstraction. What I mean is that one of you will feel that there are no consequences for disloyalty, or any general behavior that one's significant other wouldn't approve of. Guilt becomes a real problem when you finally see a lover face to face (or realize that you are indeed hurting someone emotionally) after you've done bad things.
So according to my experiential learning, I would say that she probably cheated on you, or is looking to cheat on you, and she feels guilty. I would advise you to accept that she wants to cheat, and try not to malign disloyalty as hard as society has programmed you to. It's just strange to me how harshly disloyal partners are criticized when we promote a "try to love everyone" perspective, as if you're incapable of genuinely loving 2 different women, but I digress.
That's my advice, assuming I'm right about the whole cheating scenario.
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From my experience, the reason they give you is rarely the actual reason. She's jsut trying to let you off easy and not hurt you anymore.
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that fucking sucks man, my gf also lives at a distance and it's really tough to maintain a relationship but I still love her
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call some of the buddys and head to a bar.. to drink it off... Long distance always crushes great relationships..
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I feel like even if she did cheat, it's not what everyone should be telling him right now. Whether it's true or not is kinda irrelevant, I doubt it makes him feel better that it's a "possibility." C'mon guys...
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On July 01 2010 16:38 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:Show nested quote +On July 01 2010 16:26 TheAntZ wrote:
When a girl says 'the distance was too much' in my experience it means shes already cheated. I'm sorry bro dude, don't say stupid things like this. I was involved in a semi long distance relationship and we broke up without either of us cheating (99% sure).
1%
User was warned for this post
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This is one of the shit problems I'm having a dilemma with.. My girl keeps insisting that she wants to go to another country which if fucking nuts IMHO, with the recession and all this problems in the world that wouldn't help her financially.
But I dunno, maybe she can't do it as well she just keeps on telling me this and that, but she can't live my ass as far as I can tell.
Man, I hope you can bounce back as fast as you can. Problem with your girl is that she's a little hurt herself. I don't know how she can bounce back while on duty.
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So according to ur gf (ex to be exact) you two are miles apart and breaking up makes everything easier? I cant quite get that logic. To be honest i kinda agree with the cheating idea (i sincerely do hope the opposite tho).
If that's what she wants then i guess it leaves u no choice. But if u still want to get her back, keep showing ur support. Show her that u still care even though u two are no longer together. Even if she does cheat on you, sure it will feel like shit but its still much better than letting your true love go.
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Jesus, bro, I feel for you. My first girlfriend that I fell completely in love with broke up with me the same exact way. Just dropped the nuke on me out of nowhere, never gave me a reason except that she just couldn't take the distance. I mean, wtf I thought we loved each other?
I kept trying to contact her through mail, email and phone calls, but she never responded. I still don't know to this day why she broke up with me, but I wish I could go back in time and tell my old self to get over her faster, cuz I seriously couldn't for 2 yrs.
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On July 01 2010 16:38 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:Show nested quote +On July 01 2010 16:26 TheAntZ wrote:
When a girl says 'the distance was too much' in my experience it means shes already cheated. I'm sorry bro dude, don't say stupid things like this. I was involved in a semi long distance relationship and we broke up without either of us cheating (99% sure).
I dont think its stupid since it happened to both me and a friend.
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Welcome to real life, son. Successful long term relationships come out of not only compatibility, but circumstance and expectations out of life. She may be compatible with you and you may be compatible with her, but if you are going in different directions in life, it's not going to work out.
If you truly care about her, the best thing for you to do now is to be supportive of her and show that you understand this concept. Who knows where you will be and where she will be in 2 years, 5 years, maybe even 10 years. If it happens you are still in communication, you are still compatible, and you are in the same area, then maybe revisit the idea of a relationship. But until then, just realize that life doesn't always go the way you want it to. You can just try to cope the best way you can by understanding the situation, and figuring out where to go from here. It's shitty, I've been there. But it's also a fact of life and part of maturing as an adult.
With that being said though, I've noticed that as I get older, I just seem to care less...so dealing with these shitty situations isn't as difficult.
Edit: And yeah, make sure you communicate this with her. The foundation of any relationship, whether it be with friends, family, or significant others is communication. Be clear and understanding.
Edit #2: A lot of people are saying that they don't understand this, why would she do this when they are in love, etc etc etc. Thing is is that your definition of love changes as you get older. You start incorporating financial responsibility, similar life goals, maturity levels, and family backgrounds, among other things, into your definition of love. Of course this varies from person to person, but this is what I've found from my experiences. You'll also probably love more than one person in your life and you'll probably love people for very different reasons. It sucks having to go through this and figure it out, but it'll make you a better person in the long run. There's always more fish in the pond.
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Life changes the plans you make sometimes. But as gchan pointed out earlier, there's nothing wrong with staying in touch and who knows what will happen down the road.
You'll be fine. Go out and have some fun with some friends and keep your head up 
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Best of luck to you in the future, dude. I hope everything works out for you. To be honest, her being stationed in the pacific and you guys not seeing each other for months doesnt sound like a very good situation anyway. In the end this will likely be for the better, even if it doesnt seem like it right now. Just remember that you're young and there are plenty of fish in the sea. Try not to dwell on things too much man, keep positive and moving forward.
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On July 01 2010 16:26 TheAntZ wrote:
When a girl says 'the distance was too much' in my experience it means shes already cheated. I'm sorry bro
Sadly, this is true in my experience as well. It's always the hardest thing to take at first, but then you realize that, well, fuck that bitch, and it all gets easier.
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EPT
