Every time I'd read a blog about a girl on TL I sort of chuckled to myself and rolled my eyes. I thought I was the wiser and knew better, that something like that wouldn't, couldn't happen to ME. Being infatuated with a girl who you haven't even gone on a date with? Come on man... Grow some balls!
I have no problems with girls. I can literally just talk to a girl on the street and go out on an instadate with her within a few minutes. I haven't always been good with girls, God knows I haven't. But ever since I found the right mentors, it pretty much played out like a D- starcraft player somehow joining ToT, and having the best in the game personally mentoring him 24/7. The problem with being good with girls (I'm not that great fyi, B-, dodging A+ Koreans) is that, after a while, nothing (especially looks) really impresses you. And it really takes a unique gem to really capture your heart. You start to see girls for what they really are.... Mostly good looks. Anyways, that isn't to say I don't have fun with girls. On the contrary. I try and love to be in the present moment at all times. I have a lot of fun, with or without girls.
So here’s how it all started. After a really bad mountain biking accident I had to go see a physiotherapist to help me recover.
I walk in the clinic and see her. She was striking, in fact, the very first time I saw her I thought she was the secretary because "No way in fucking hell is the physiotherapist that hot." When I first heard her laugh, my heart swelled. She has the most intoxicating laugh I’ve had the pleasure of hearing, and no doubt that many, many guys before me had puzzled endlessly over the secret note that would allow them to hear this beautiful music on command.
So I did what I know, what I was taught. As soon as we started to talk I stared her down, looked at her like I wanted to kiss her. In the middle of conversing with her, I would look deeply into her eyes, and then slowly and deliberately scan my eyes downwards, taking in the view, looking at her hips, appreciating every curve I saw, and then my eyes would dart back to hers, with a sly grin on my face.
She responded well to this. I was pleasantly surprised. SHE would give me a little staredown of her own, looking at my crotch and having an all-knowing smirk on her face. This drove me wild. Days passed until our next appointment. This time, I was told by my friend to “redirect to sex”. Something you always do as soon as possible. When you talk to a girl, you want to make the conversation about YOU and HER. NOTHING else exists in the world. And you want to redirect specifically to sex or romance. So...armed with that little nugget I talked to her during our one on one session. I just came back from my very first massage therapy with one of her massage therapists. She asked me, “How’d it go?”
I told her, “Terrible.” She laughed. I elaborated with a more serious tone in my voice, “You know firsts... they’re always lousy.” She studies my face for a bit but then smiles. I said, “Don’t you think? How was YOUR first time?” She said, “ummm. It was.... umm...wait are we talking about the same thing here?” I smirked, and she cautiously continued. It took a little gentle coaxing but I did it. I redirected to sex. I had my therapist, who probably took some sort of oath against this type of behaviour, talking about her first sexual experience. Apparently it was with a much older guy and he did some kinky shit! Poured wine all over her pussy and licked it all up.
I was delighted. But after this great interaction, everything sort of fizzled out. I stopped redirecting. My energy was kind of weird. I was kind of needy. Probably because I really liked this girl and cared about what she thought. One day, her secretary was telling me how great of a girl she really was. And she was.... When she was my age she had to take care of her parents, paying the mortgage of their house! She did all sorts of charities and had the most incredible heart. She would do random acts of kindness such as treating patients for free once their insurance had cut them off. The more I learned about her, the more enamoured with her I became. So this girl, unbelievably funny, the most eager person to laugh that i’ve met, has a business of her own, is drop dead gorgeous, is a do gooder, is a doctor.... DAYUM. FML.
A few days later, I’m onto the Next piece of advice... Touch her. So I tried doing this. When I was talking to her the subject somehow led to her abs. And I was like, “You have abs? Prove it.” So she looked at me, and I looked at her. The way she looked at me... She was almost daring me to go for it. So I did. I’d never done anything like that before, especially not to my doctor. The moment I put my hand on her stomach was almost jarring. The air around us was absolutely electric, I felt my heart pounding, and I tenderly, deliberately stroked her stomach, while our eyes locked. After what seemed like an eternity I cooly took my hand off and smiled. “You’re so cute”, she squealed, and she squeezed my cheeks. At this point I didn’t know how to interpret that, she had that sort of bubbly, zestful personality you could easily confuse for affection.
So after getting an earful from my friend, about how much I was starting to obsess about her, I again did what he told me to do. So I’m in the room once more with her alone. “I need to tell you something.” Preamble. This creates tension. “I don’t know if you can handle it.” By this time she’s completely absolutely focused on what comes out of my mouth next. “I can handle anything you give me” she says. You see, the problem with creating tension is that you yourself must be able to handle that tension! At that time I was not used to this, and my voice was a little shaky. “Okay well... Honestly, I would’ve asked you out by now, but you’re my doctor and I don’t want to get you into any trouble.”
“You’re right.” She says. Then she pauses for a few seconds which catches me off guard (Looks like someone has particularly good game too). 1) “The board would be all over me. I’m not even allowed to add patients to my facebook no matter how much I adore them. It sucks but I’d get fired and my license would get suspended.” 2) You’re way too young for me. We would have different goals you know? Older girls have different goals, what if they wanted to start a family?” and 3) My boyfriend wouldn’t like that very much. Set 1) BBS Set 2) 7 Rax bunker rush Set 3) I two hatch, obtain a sizeable lead, victory is in the mouth, but just before the gg I LAG out. FFUUUUUUU
This is why you should never over plan interactions (Especially conversationally). You will eventually be thrown something you weren’t expecting and you will panic. I didn’t panic, I just slouched. Oh and btw, number 3) turned out to be a shit test, to see how I would react, cool and calmly or like a chump. Anyways, of course, the next time I talked to her my good old friend had armed me with more ammo. Her and I talked about relationship values for a bit and she brought up the age thing again. “You’re too young”, she snapped. I smoothly retorted, “That’s what my last girlfriend told me, she was 32.” And this seemed to catch her off guard. Things got better from then on.
One day, I was so enamoured by her goodness and selflessness that it inspired me to volunteer. Well, ultimately it was to impress her (Though I never told her) but as if I didn’t like her enough she had this effect on me. No girl, not even the love of my life, has ever ever had this effect on me. What effect? Because I wanted to impress her I did something, selfless, just like her. And I quickly learned that I loved to do it, that I felt pride and satisfaction that I was contributing in a small way, to something great. She made me a BETTER person. She drew out values in me that I didn’t know existed. This was psychological mind fuck for me.
Over the next few months, our interactions yoyoed. One day I’d be elated because she would grab my hand and hold it as we talked, and the next day she would be professional, and indifferent.
Over these months I had been dating other girls. However I didn’t connect to other girls as I did with her. We ate our oatmeal the same way. We even misunderstood our favourite songs the same way (I always thought Akon said, “I wanna make love right na na na”) and most importantly we shared the same values about life. We talked about what happiness is, what’s important in life, who we were as people, and every time I found out a particular value of mine connected with hers, my heart lurched forward. This was not routine conversation for me, I held these beliefs and values dearly. I became even more smitten by her. I’d never met a girl like this before, especially a girl who shared all of my values and then some.
So presently, the situation remains the same. This is dangerous. If she really had liked me, she would’ve gone out of her way to be with me. If she reciprocated an ounce of how I feel then definitely, yes. But she didn’t. She’d give out hints, i.e. “You know my first boyfriend was Asian.” or she’d bring up her favourite sex position or hug me and hold on forever.... But she’d never show me in action when it counted. Girls have done it before. I once had a girl who I just met go on her webcam, strip for me, and play with her self. I once had a girl who drove all the way from Montreal to spend the long weekend with me. But.... why will all these bozos go out of their way to talk to me, be with me, screw me, but not her...? This infatuation is getting out of hand.
The other day I was driven in a wild jealous rage, why? Because this 15 year old girl, SHE seemed to figure out her secret note, because I heard her laugh like I never heard her laugh before, certainly not around me.... And I was absolutely, mind-rapingly JEALOUS. WTF?! If my mentors knew about that they’d beat me in a bloody pulp and tell me to grow some balls. They’d tell me, “Get a fucking life.”, “Non-neediness comes from abundance and choice.” “Wake up, it’s not happening, move on.” As true as all this is, I have dated dozens of women this year alone and none of them compare with her. As I see it, I will continue to find more girls, but I will only meet a girl like HER maybe three to five times in my entire lifetime. “True love” type of girls. Ever other girl is just filler.
Anyways, this story doesn’t have a neat little ending. I’ll tell you something though. Today, I was feeling particularly depressed about the situation. Utterly hopeless and helpless. I thought that nothing would lift my mood. I thought about her constantly. Hearing fucking Akon, and all these songs is like hearing someone drilling concrete outside of your house as you’re having the worst hang over of your life.
Then I went to my new acupuncturist. With him, I really connected. So much so that I would even call him a potential role-model. After we shared some laughs and stories I went to get acupunctured. I got massaged before hand and afterwards I felt surprisingly renewed. As I was getting ready and talking to my acupuncturist a volunteer student walked in. I asked my acupuncturist, “Are you Korean?” He nodded. My eyes lit up. “Tonight is Jaedong vs flash!!!!!!!!!”. He looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face. I was immediately let down. I told him, “It’s pretty much the biggest finals in history. It’s like Ali vs Fraiser. I’m way more Korean than you dude. I bet you don’t even eat kimchi.” He laughed. But then the student who was listening in, YELLED, literally YELLED, “Lee Young Ho HWAATTIINGGG!!!!”
I JUMPED up with a mix of shock and joy and high fived him. “LEE JAEDDONNGGG FIGHTING!!!!!” I yelled back. He said, “Flash is gon win.” in broken English, I said yeah I know, he’s a bonjwa. He says, “Bonja? What Bonja?” I say, “You know.... Nada, Oov.” He says, “.....OHHHH, Slay urrrzz.... It BOON JA. BOON JA, like arm.” I yelled, “OHHH BOONJA, like MAAEE JAEE YOONNN!!!” Then in unison we both yelled, “MAAA JAEE YOOOOON”. “Where do you get videos?” He asked. “Livestream/mystlord” I said. He says, “Joaaannn 7, 4, 7” I was like, “FFUCKKK yeah!!!! I love watching Korean commentators, that’s the only way to go man, English ones are so boring. PLAAGUUUUUUU, REAABBBBBERRRRRR!!!!” And with one final roar, with us fist motherfucking pumping like champs, we both yell at the top of our lungs, “PLLAAGGGGGUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!”.
Hell yeah! Hyped yelling ftw! Moar yelling man! I yell like that all the time when smoking shit and watching Shinhan Bank with the guys.. omfg I wanna become a commentator..
Well the girl parts and you being a chump were pretty lame (I was nodding off), but the korean high fiving and plaguuuue at the end justified the read.
I started reading this blog expecting very little, but I guess it was an okay read. Looks like you did pretty well with her, all things considered. WTF at the whole abs thing though. That's borderline creepy. =/
The ending is fucking awesome. Gotta love it when you meet other people that watch sc.
On January 23 2010 12:02 micronesia wrote: OP: ty for writing that out haha. It's a bit unbelievable (both the first 3/4 and the last couple of paragraphs) but I enjoyed it.
On January 23 2010 12:24 enthusiast wrote: I think Chill reads "My Mom Just Died" threads and secretly thinks the poster is bragging that they get to be dark and brooding.
On January 23 2010 12:24 enthusiast wrote: I think Chill reads "My Mom Just Died" threads and secretly thinks the poster is bragging that they get to be dark and brooding.
No he usually limits it to unmodest announcements about girl success, net worth, iccup rank, etc
On January 23 2010 12:02 micronesia wrote: OP: ty for writing that out haha. It's a bit unbelievable (both the first 3/4 and the last couple of paragraphs) but I enjoyed it.
On January 23 2010 11:41 Chill wrote: i feel the need to also tell everyone i am fantastic with women.
So you say. Then you offer to help me... and give up 1 minute later.
yea, because 1 minute is all i can spare with all the women i am being fantastic with.
Only read a little bit of the beginning, but after someone said the last 2 pars were good I read them, and they were right. The last 2 pars were good, haha.
On January 23 2010 12:24 enthusiast wrote: I think Chill reads "My Mom Just Died" threads and secretly thinks the poster is bragging that they get to be dark and brooding.
No he usually limits it to unmodest announcements about girl success, net worth, iccup rank, etc
Maybe I'm just newer but I've never seem someone post their net worth.
On January 23 2010 12:24 enthusiast wrote: I think Chill reads "My Mom Just Died" threads and secretly thinks the poster is bragging that they get to be dark and brooding.
I think you're dropping hints on a psychoanalysis PhD
On January 23 2010 12:17 meeple wrote: lol... so weird. I've never thought about dating my doctor. But my dental hygenist is hot.
Meeple... I've never met a physian, physiotherapist, dentist or GP like her before. She looks like this:
Except, she's 32, has wicked abs (She works out an hour a day and runs marathons) and is Persian. I mean, she's pretty but walk down Queen Street and you'll see prettier girls probably every other three minutes, BUT she's just amazing all together. I have this vision in my mind of her that is probably grossly inflated, but I honestly don't think by that much, especially based on what her SUBORDINATES say about her. "Her male patients hit on her all the time. Everyone has a crush on her, even I do or "She's a wonderful girl, a complete jewel." Seriously, who the fuck says that about their boss?
In fact I haven't met a girl like her EVER (It annoys me that I've met a lot of GUYS like this however. Moving on). And I don't think I will again any time soon.... But yeah, as soon as that korean guy yelled Lee Young Ho!!! That lifted my spirits instantly, and throughout the night. I mean it's all about that. Finding activities and things that I love as much as starcraft, and finding others who are similar, to share it with. This makes me happy. And finding 2-4 activities like that and people who share interest in those things would be a HUGE fucking accomplishment imo, and it would allow me to move on until the next girl like her pops up, however long that may take.
P.S. If JD loses tonight I will probably be slung into an unrecoverable depression. Maybe I'll write a reverse blog about JD lol. Hopefully RET wins courage so I can have another "sort of happy" ending (He's moving out of korea anyway).
After going to my physical therapist I stopped at my acupuncturist and asked him if he saw my psychologist who was out at lunch (ironically) with my dermatologist which is fucking STUPID cause my dentist said on facebook that she saw my hot chemist friend talking to my entomologist about how good I am with ladies. I mean, they fly from Brazil and strip for me on conference call but this fucking well established, community contributing hot doctor lady with her own practice isn't interested in a younger hypochondriac male? Blows my mind.
btw I have like 6 mentors and I might have found a new one in this cosmotoligist I spoke with today. He was asian and maybe knew about starcraft but he laughed a lot so I like him. Some day I want to be him.
On January 23 2010 14:42 {88}iNcontroL wrote: After going to my physical therapist I stopped at my acupuncturist and asked him if he saw my psychologist who was out at lunch (ironically) with my dermatologist which is fucking STUPID cause my dentist said on facebook that she saw my hot chemist friend talking to my entomologist about how good I am with ladies. I mean, they fly from Brazil and strip for me on conference call but this fucking well established, community contributing hot doctor lady with her own practice isn't interested in a younger hypochondriac male? Blows my mind.
btw I have like 6 mentors and I might have found a new one in this cosmotoligist I spoke with today. He was asian and maybe knew about starcraft but he laughed a lot so I like him. Some day I want to be him.
Can you be my mentor for making sarcastic remarks? Chill is already a mentor so I could have a little braintrust of sarcasm mentors. Then maybe I can make some clever sarcastic remarks on somebody's blog and then blog about how good I am at making sarcastic remarks and then tie it in with starcraft somehow.
On January 23 2010 14:42 {88}iNcontroL wrote: After going to my physical therapist I stopped at my acupuncturist and asked him if he saw my psychologist who was out at lunch (ironically) with my dermatologist which is fucking STUPID cause my dentist said on facebook that she saw my hot chemist friend talking to my entomologist about how good I am with ladies. I mean, they fly from Brazil and strip for me on conference call but this fucking well established, community contributing hot doctor lady with her own practice isn't interested in a younger hypochondriac male? Blows my mind.
btw I have like 6 mentors and I might have found a new one in this cosmotoligist I spoke with today. He was asian and maybe knew about starcraft but he laughed a lot so I like him. Some day I want to be him.
Can you be my mentor for making sarcastic remarks? Chill is already a mentor so I could have a little braintrust of sarcasm mentors. Then maybe I can make some clever sarcastic remarks on somebody's blog and then blog about how good I am at making sarcastic remarks and then tie it in with starcraft somehow.
edit: here's my take on it - you just found a woman (not a girl!) who's had a lot of life experience and went through a lot of stuff. while she might have always been a naturally attractive person you can be sure that 10 years ago she probably wasn't as refined as she is now, maybe even to the point of the other girls you've been dating. just consider it your first taste of much more to come in the future ^_^
On January 23 2010 12:02 micronesia wrote: OP: ty for writing that out haha. It's a bit unbelievable (both the first 3/4 and the last couple of paragraphs) but I enjoyed it.
On January 23 2010 14:42 {88}iNcontroL wrote: After going to my physical therapist I stopped at my acupuncturist and asked him if he saw my psychologist who was out at lunch (ironically) with my dermatologist which is fucking STUPID cause my dentist said on facebook that she saw my hot chemist friend talking to my entomologist about how good I am with ladies. I mean, they fly from Brazil and strip for me on conference call but this fucking well established, community contributing hot doctor lady with her own practice isn't interested in a younger hypochondriac male? Blows my mind.
btw I have like 6 mentors and I might have found a new one in this cosmotoligist I spoke with today. He was asian and maybe knew about starcraft but he laughed a lot so I like him. Some day I want to be him.
Can you be my mentor for making sarcastic remarks? Chill is already a mentor so I could have a little braintrust of sarcasm mentors. Then maybe I can make some clever sarcastic remarks on somebody's blog and then blog about how good I am at making sarcastic remarks and then tie it in with starcraft somehow.
On January 24 2010 23:36 Frits wrote: its funny how being among nerds can make you think you're good with girls like that retard fanatacist
you're not, you're just an average dude among below average people
I know it`s pretty gay to keep referring to them as my mentors, but it is what it is. We have a relationship that`s different from a normal, typical friendship. And those guys most certainly are not nerds. lol.
That said, I don`t really know how to feel about JD`s win. I`m not gonna lie, I felt elated when he won despite the circumstances. He denied flash`s inaugeration into bonjwa hood. He had a dominant, record breaking MSL run. And he postured himself into a great position, to take the number 1 spot back from flash during WL. But I feel like I just masturbated to brazillian fart porn.... Sure it felt amazing at the time. I felt relief. I WAS relieved. But now that it`s finished I just feel confused, and dirty, and guity and ashamed.
Thanks for the comments guys!
ETA: I can`t wait to talk to the korean guy after this.... I have another appointment scheduled this week. I wonder what he has to say about KESPA, MBC, the decision, all that juicy stuff.
So are you and the Korean buddies now? That's an awesome way to make friends. "This is my friend. I met him while talking about starcraft and yelling PLAYGUHHHHHHHHHHH".
On January 25 2010 15:41 JIJIyO wrote: So are you and the Korean buddies now? That's an awesome way to make friends. "This is my friend. I met him while talking about starcraft and yelling PLAYGUHHHHHHHHHHH".
Well... That was pretty much the extent of our conversation. I need to figure out something else to say once we both stop yelling at each other. The guy goes to waterloo apparently.
Haha for some reason I was expecting the "bear" ending or something. this was so much better, lol.. seriously the bear ending sucks, all trolls should end in PLAGUUUU (not saying this is a troll)
EPT
