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Towelfight, am I an ass? - Page 7

Blogs > Catch]22
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eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-02 07:42:11
November 02 2009 07:39 GMT
#121
On November 02 2009 15:40 Mora wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 15:22 eMbrace wrote:
On November 02 2009 15:21 Mora wrote:
On November 02 2009 15:15 eMbrace wrote:
On November 02 2009 15:10 GTR wrote:
living with your parents when you are 22
lol

edit: also mora that is the MOST RANDOM EDIT i've ever read on this site.


laughing at people who live with their parents straight out of college doesn't seem like a very nice thing to do.

most of my older brothers and sisters had to stay around for a bit before they could find somewhere to live and a job -- i'd imagine it would be very stressful.


i disagree.

moving out when they were out of highschool, working a minimum wage job, trying to find happiness in such a depressing situation - that would be stressful.

staying at home with your rents so you can live a pampered luxurious life forever afterwards?

Perhaps we just have a different definition of stress.


yes, i get it -- anyone who had a smoother raising than you did is a lesser human being.



I missed your point.

Are you saying that people who had a smoother raising than me have a right to cry when their parents ask them to do chores? And that if i disagree with them, it's because i think they're inferior to me?

really?

Please tell me i missed the fucking boat on that one.


I'm glad I read your post below because based purely on your original post, I did indeed get the condescending attitude from you.


I do disagree with what I quoted before though. How can you say your situation is more stressful than another? Because your life was "tougher"? Kids in Japan have hung themselves if they score low on their big entry exams -- some kids in Africa are pretty damn happy to find something to eat for the day.

Who is more stressed out? Well it depends on the life they were born into. For some people, graduating college with mounds of debt and having the possibility that you may not be able to take off as a successful individual, and instead be laughed at because you live with your parents is the worst feeling in the world.

so having someone come in and say, "lol stop crying pussy, I had to live by myself at the age of 18," is just cruel.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now on the OP's specific problem, I again disagree on bashing the shit out him. He wrote his situation in such a humanly reasonably way that it's kind of hard not to understand his situation -- he even admitted he made an error in judgment. hell, the name of his thread was "am I an ass?"

I don't agree that his father owns his soul and that he is immune to judgment. bitching about moving a towel in a washing machine to the dryer adjacent to it is petty, immature, and an example of terrible stress control.

talking back to the parent is an example of being an immature brat as well.

they both screwed up -- but it's easy to understand both of them. the dad is in a hurry and is stressed out, he gives into that stress and makes a BS call on his son to due a menial task -- and the OP finally decided to call him out on something and overstepped his line as a son by doing it in a disrespectful manner.

yes, you can come in here and tell the OP how lucky he is to be in such a "luxurious" situation and that he should just ignore the flaws of the people who provide for you, but it really doesn't help him at all.

it's been suggested before, and what he should do is sit down and have a beer with his dad and talk about how they can make the rest of the time living together as peaceful and stress free as possible.




Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
November 02 2009 07:44 GMT
#122
I'd be pretty pissed if my roommate left shit in the washer when I needed clean clothes for work, and then mouthed off when I asked if he could take care of the job he started

I'm not sure him being your dad is even relevant in this equation
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
November 02 2009 07:45 GMT
#123
On November 02 2009 16:44 heyoka wrote:
I'd be pretty pissed if my roommate left shit in the washer when I needed clean clothes for work, and then mouthed off when I asked if he could take care of the job he started

I'm not sure him being your dad is even relevant in this equation


really? I'd just put his clothes aside and get on with my life.


GTR
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
51574 Posts
November 02 2009 07:49 GMT
#124
On November 02 2009 16:10 Ilikestarcraft wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 15:10 GTR wrote:
living with your parents when you are 22
lol

edit: also mora that is the MOST RANDOM EDIT i've ever read on this site.

im going to laugh so much when you're 22 and living with your parents


lets make a bet on that sir.
Commentator
WhiteNights
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States252 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-02 07:55:47
November 02 2009 07:50 GMT
#125
On November 02 2009 16:16 Mora wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 15:46 WhiteNights wrote:
On November 02 2009 15:40 Mora wrote:
And that if i disagree with them, it's because i think they're inferior to me?

really?

Please tell me i missed the fucking boat on that one.

yes you did

the conclusion we drew as to your motives did not arise from your disagreement but rather the fact that you disagreed in a post that was fairly obviously dripping with condescension


i've attempted to reply to this several times, but end up deleting it due to my uncertainty of my interpretation. So i'll just ask for you to elaborate.

Are you referring to my first response to this thread, or the post that Embrace responded to?

In the case of the former, i can't disagree with you. I was condescending - probably more than i should have been - and should probably apologize for that (though i'm not ready to do so yet).

In the case of the latter, i was not condescending at all. I was not forced to work a minimum wage job, nor has my search for happiness been difficult. The post was inspired from quite the opposite - i feel i've had a lucky and pampered life, and feel that only people who've had a hard one should be complaining. Unless this post was sarcastic, i pretty much agree with the sentiments you stated here:

My first post was written in kind of a douche fashion but it wasn't in sarcasm. It was directed somewhat ambiguously at both but "so you can live a pampered luxurious life forever afterwards" sounds rather judgmental, even in the tempered second post. I am sort of annoyed at this point for a reason that has nothing to do with you, but while I'm taking the time to write this I might as well write what prompted it: we've recently had a wave of suicides in a nearby wealthy suburban community and I've been reading comments posted like "these kids live perfect lives, the ungrateful bastards; I wonder what they would do if they had real problems to contend with or if we shipped them to a third-world country to see what real problems are like" and I just sort of stand there somewhat dumb-founded; of course these kids had problems; I'm sure that they would rather lose all their material possessions than die, so there must have been something definitely wrong; the implication that people can't have problems if they come from a more privileged background is simply ruffling some feathers by association (and I realize you're not saying this, it's just sort of what I was thinking at the time; and of course our original poster seems to have no major problems, so it's almost an aside.)

On November 02 2009 16:16 Mora wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 15:36 WhiteNights wrote:
only people in third world countries who are near-starvation or have suffered from things on that order of magnitude are allowed to be indignant, angry, or depressed

everyone else is a pussy and should suck it up


However, after reading your most recent blog, i'm now inclined to believe you were being sarcastic.

For what it's worth, it was not my intention to make you feel inferior to me. Upon re-reading my post, it's certainly understandable why one might think so.

It's okay; I am being perfectly honest (please don't take this as sarcasm) when I say that by any objective measure (as should be evident from my blog), I am inferior to you. I also have had a massive inferiority complex for a few years so it doesn't bother me at all; if you were to bitch me out personally I would agree with you that I thoroughly deserve it.

I don't bitch often. My blog post marks just about the first time when I have seriously and thoroughly complained about my life. In retrospect, it's fucking retarded and I should suck it up. The second post that you quoted was originally written in sarcasm but I do agree with it with respect to myself - whenever I start to feel angry, indignant, or depressed, I tell myself to stop because it means I'm an ungrateful sonofabitch who doesn't deserve a thing he has.

It sounds retarded but the reason I object to your statement is that there are other people out there (who are very much not me) who do grow up in privilege who nevertheless have actual problems and face hardships, so the phrase "pampered luxurious life forever," originally came off to me as "these guys have no problems ever". Who would I be if I were to look at somebody who contemplates suicide on daily basis because of something as trivial as being bullied at school, or somebody who is absolutely destroyed because their cat died, and dismiss that suffering with "fucking suck it up, you don't know how good you have it"? That sort of attitude is absolutely anathema to me. The only thing that is absolutely guaranteed to piss me off is judgmental arrogance, which was what your post read like to me when I first saw it.
May your sky be always clear, may your smile be always bright, and may you be forever blessed for that moment of happiness which you gave to another lonely and grateful heart!
Mora
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada5235 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-02 08:30:58
November 02 2009 08:06 GMT
#126
I'm glad I read your post below because based purely on your original post, I did indeed get the condescending attitude from you.

I do disagree with what I quoted before though. How can you say your situation is more stressful than another? Because your life was "tougher"? Kids in Japan have hung themselves if they score low on their big entry exams -- some kids in Africa are pretty damn happy to find something to eat for the day.


I cannot imagine the stress those Japanese students feel when such a thing happens to them. I'm not being facetious when i say that that is much more stressful than anything i have ever been through. I cannot imagine that starving ethiopians trying to find food every day is any more stressful than that Japanese student - but still much more stressful than anything i've ever experienced.

I'm sorry, but i just can't equate those two scenarios with the one quoted in the original post. Being told to leave a Starcraft game and put in a load of laundry that you were too lazy/busy/forgetful/pre-occupied/shitting/masturbating/whatever-the-fuck-you-were-doing to do, is just not on the same level.

Who is more stressed out? Well it depends on the life they were born into. For some people, graduating college with mounds of debt and having the possibility that you may not be able to take off as a successful individual, and instead be laughed at because you live with your parents is the worst feeling in the world.


I have to disagree here. It isn't the worst feeling in the world. You may only think it is. When it comes to gaining perspective on past experiences that seemed universe-consuming, i have much experience.

to site an example from my past: i used to have extreme anxiety problems. In particular, i found public transit absolutely mind-blowingly horrifying. I had several unfortunate and traumatic experiences on public transit when i was in elementary school, and that fear continued into early adulthood. Before dropping out of highschool, my father would sometimes try to force me to catch the school-bus to get to school. I cannot count the amount of times i literally shit my pants at the bus stop, in front of my peers, because the thought of getting on the bus was that horrifying to me. I trained myself to puke at roughly that same age, so that when i told my parents i was too sick to go to school, that i could demonstrate my authenticity by spewing projectile vomit on them. Sometimes i abused this knack to exploit my desire to play Starcraft instead of going to school, but i would say the majority of the time i used this 'skill' in my own defense - that going to school was truly terrifying and horrifying. Since those years of my life, i have only experienced one thing that was any where near as debilitating (which i wrote about here if you're interested).

Despite that, i truly think that simply having to go out on my own and be wholly supportive of myself dwarfs that reality tremendously. Doing so has not been more stressful, but it's definitely been eye-opening. Making that decision for oneself is what i'm referring to. If the thread starter thinks it's that bad, he should do exactly that. Suck it up and move out. If he doesn't think it's that bad, he needs to do something or think of something to give him perspective that being told to do laundry in the middle of a Starcraft game just isn't that big of a deal. There may be other compounding problems with the relationship with his father, and those may be absolutely legitimate - but he didn't come here posting about those. He came to us with this story. This is representative of his maturity and tl.net is largely inhospitable towards such individuals. Instead of holding his hand and politely telling him to grow the fuck up, our patience is lost upon acknowledging that he's 22 years old.

so having someone come in and say, "lol stop crying pussy, I had to live by myself at the age of 18," is just cruel.


I agree with you. It was cruel and it was intended to be cruel. He's 22, he needs to grow up. Hopefully i will be better able to cope and help my kid if he ends up in a similar situation - even more hopefully, it will be avoided altogether.


Now on the OP's specific problem, I again disagree on bashing the shit out him. He wrote his situation in such a humanly reasonably way that it's kind of hard not to understand his situation -- he even admitted he made an error in judgment.

I don't agree that his father owns his soul and that he is immune to judgment. bitching about moving a towel in a washing machine to the dryer adjacent to it is petty, immature, and an example of terrible stress control.

talking back to the parent is an example of being an immature brat as well.

they both screwed up -- but it's easy to understand both of them. the dad is in a hurry and is stressed out, he gives into that stress and makes a BS call on his son to due a menial task -- and the OP finally decided to call him out on something and overstepped his line as a son by doing it in a disrespectful manner.

yes, you can come in here and tell the OP how lucky he is to be in such a "luxurious" situation and that he should just ignore the flaws of the people who provide for you, but it really doesn't help him at all.

it's been suggested before, and what he should do is sit down and have a beer with his dad and talk about how they can make the rest of the time living together as peaceful and stress free as possible


I deal with this more harshly than you do. If his father had come in here and complained about his laundry-ignoring-starcraft-playing son, i would have laid into him FAR more harshly than i did the original poster. But his dad wasn't the one to come in here. I hope that if his father complains to his friends about his situation, that they do exactly that.

There's no point in telling this kid that his father is in the wrong. It changes the topic of conversation from what it should be about. This isn't about his father being right or wrong, this is about the original poster taking responsibility for the situation and his life.

i hope this was coherent.
Happiness only real when shared.
eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
November 02 2009 08:33 GMT
#127
@Mora

I'm glad you agreed with my point that just because someone lives in a well off family, doesn't mean they are any happier then someone in poverty. However, when I was talking about that, I wasn't referring to the OP's laundry situation -- it was specifically about making fun of people who still live with their parents -- which I strongly disagree with (depending on the circumstances).

For some people it means they have failed at their very life, sounds silly doesn't it? Not to them.

That's why I said it was cruel to call them a pussy, and it definitely doesn't make you look like the mature person you claim to be.

That's all I was saying there -- and yeah, the OP's specific problem isn't a very stressful one considering the life he lives -- but that doesn't mean we can't talk about it as a real (albeit minor) relationship problem.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------


I create that line because it is my primitive representation that I am dealing with two different topics here, and I don't want them to blend (like they unfortunately have).

So moving on to his specific issue again -- I do think it is fair to point of the flaw of the parent, as well as the OP's.

Most people who lead lives with any sort of meaning don't usually watch their laundry until it finishes and take it out -- especially in their own family's household, where you should feel comfortable with each other.

now you look at this thread in disgust because a 22 year old is complaining about a household chore.

i see it as a stress control issue, and I think it is important that the OP recognizes flaws in his parents and learns from them (as well as recognizing his own flaws into how he talks to his parents). the OP was gladly planning on finishing his own laundry -- he's 22 after all, but in the middle of something that's important to him he is called upon to do something ridiculous.

this doesn't warrant name calling the OP.

saying his situation isn't a problem and he needs to grow up isn't understanding the situation.

saying he needs to grow up because he should be able to handle these situations with his father in an adult way makes a lot more sense.












Shauni
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
4077 Posts
November 02 2009 08:36 GMT
#128
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.
I'm taking whatever coverage I can get, because frankly, I'm busy working on this million dollar deal at my job. Early retirement is a good thing brotha man. - MessengerASL
psion0011
Profile Joined December 2008
Canada720 Posts
November 02 2009 08:47 GMT
#129
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"
eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
November 02 2009 08:49 GMT
#130
On November 02 2009 17:47 psion0011 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"


Both of you are twisting this situation into something retarded.
psion0011
Profile Joined December 2008
Canada720 Posts
November 02 2009 08:51 GMT
#131
On November 02 2009 17:49 eMbrace wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 17:47 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"


Both of you are twisting this situation into something retarded.

You have to fight stupid with stupid.
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States43815 Posts
November 02 2009 08:53 GMT
#132
On November 02 2009 15:32 Manifesto7 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 13:24 Xenocide_Knight wrote:
On November 02 2009 13:14 lvatural wrote:
On November 02 2009 12:35 Liquid`Drone wrote:
On November 02 2009 11:50 JeeJee wrote:
On November 02 2009 11:45 Liquid`Drone wrote:
as for the whole "respect your dad because he is your dad", that's a bunch of bullshit, especially when you are 22 years old. if your dad is a jackass, he doesnt deserve your respect.


seriously?
i don't care how much of an asshole my father is, him providing for me when i was fucking useless to the world is enough to earn my respect and forget any of his little faults for pretty much ever, whether i'm living alone or with him (especially moreso in the latter case)


im not saying you shouldnt respect your father if he has some tiny flaws or whatever, but if he's a complete jackass? what if he beats your mom? all im saying is that fatherhood doesn't equal respect by default.. a good dad obviously deserves it, and im not saying op's dad is a bad father or not worthy of respect. just that it's not some kind of default state, respect needs to be earned even for a parent.


Disagree.

The default state given to your father is respect (of course this extends to the mother as well).
Simply put, they're the reason you are here today. They housed, fed, taught, etc.. you for the beginning portion of your life. This in it of itself simply establishes lifetime respect.

However, I do believe there are EXCEPTIONS to this, for example beating you or your mom for the hell of it or dumping you in a ditch when you were 9, that would not warrant this respect anymore. But these are only in extreme and narrow cases. A father being a complete jackass, in my opinion, doesn't fit into this category and should still be respected by his kids.

Sure, your take on earning respect is reasonable when applied towards unrelated third parties; however, I think a father/mother should not be lumped in the same category.



Disagree

Respect is ALWAYS earned. no exceptions, parent or not. Same reasoning as you. They are the reason you are here today. YOU didn't choose to have parents or be born, THEY chose to have a child which they KNEW they would have to provide for for years and years. I don't see how that enables automatic respect


Disagree.

Respect is often the default position due to profession, station, or relationship. If you walk into a new class with a professor, you start out with an assumption of respect for him and his knowledge, because of his position. His actions can reinforce or counter that initial respect, but it is there to begin with.

Same goes for when you take a lesson from a martial artist, when you meet a priest, or when you meet a president. The ability to attain a certain position in life gives you respect from the outset of many situations.

An entire swath of our social behaviour is based off this.

I apply this in theory in as much as I will show a certain degree of deference when I first meet someone with regard to their field of qualification but I lose that very quickly if they don't act in a way I respect. With my parents I was always a child who asked "why?" until I found an answer I could understand. If it made logical sense to me then I would respect the decision. If it did not make logical sense to me then I would debate the decision until they improved their arguments or changed it (they very rarely changed it). If they appealed to the "because I said so" then I dismissed their decision as impossible to make a logical case for and then ignored it out of hand.

I really do not react well to people appealing to their authority without seeing the need to back it up. If their authority is justified then they should be more able than anyone to back up what they claim.

That said, unlike the op I moved out when I was 18 and haven't gone back.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
Shauni
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
4077 Posts
November 02 2009 09:07 GMT
#133
On November 02 2009 17:49 eMbrace wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 17:47 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"


Both of you are twisting this situation into something retarded.


Where's the retarded part? It's essentially what this is all about. You guys judge him harshly as a failure not only because of his attitude but also because he's 22 and lives at home. I'm just saying that you should throw out your capitalist views about achieving social status before you judge his character.
I'm taking whatever coverage I can get, because frankly, I'm busy working on this million dollar deal at my job. Early retirement is a good thing brotha man. - MessengerASL
psion0011
Profile Joined December 2008
Canada720 Posts
November 02 2009 09:10 GMT
#134
On November 02 2009 18:07 Shauni wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 17:49 eMbrace wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:47 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"


Both of you are twisting this situation into something retarded.


Where's the retarded part? It's essentially what this is all about. You guys judge him harshly as a failure not only because of his attitude but also because he's 22 and lives at home. I'm just saying that you should throw out your capitalist views about achieving social status before you judge his character.

For the price of someone's rent I can hire a maid to do my laundry AND clean my house.

But he's living there for free and you call him a slave, that is what's retarded.
eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-02 09:20:49
November 02 2009 09:20 GMT
#135
On November 02 2009 18:07 Shauni wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 17:49 eMbrace wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:47 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"


Both of you are twisting this situation into something retarded.


Where's the retarded part? It's essentially what this is all about. You guys judge him harshly as a failure not only because of his attitude but also because he's 22 and lives at home. I'm just saying that you should throw out your capitalist views about achieving social status before you judge his character.



If you read the posts I've already made, you'd understand where I'm coming from. Mutual respect is necessary for healthy, father to son relationships.

that doesn't mean your father is perfect, and that you should take his flaws in stride merely because you are living in his house.

he's your dad, your his son -- you are not his employee, and if he is having stress control issues you need to take control of the situation in a way a respectful son would -- talk to him about it.

Shauni
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
4077 Posts
November 02 2009 09:22 GMT
#136
On November 02 2009 18:10 psion0011 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 18:07 Shauni wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:49 eMbrace wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:47 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"


Both of you are twisting this situation into something retarded.


Where's the retarded part? It's essentially what this is all about. You guys judge him harshly as a failure not only because of his attitude but also because he's 22 and lives at home. I'm just saying that you should throw out your capitalist views about achieving social status before you judge his character.

For the price of someone's rent I can hire a maid to do my laundry AND clean my house.

But he's living there for free and you call him a slave, that is what's retarded.


Do slaves pay rent? Slaves doesn't have any income and they do certainly not get paid for doing chores unlike a maid. They also receive 'free' housing. Don't step on your own foot.

Before you get angry, I'm not saying that he shouldn't do the chores when his dad asks him to, and I only made an extreme parallel to slaving, not saying it has anything to do with his situation. If you get upset over me using the term 'slave', you totally missed my main point.
I'm taking whatever coverage I can get, because frankly, I'm busy working on this million dollar deal at my job. Early retirement is a good thing brotha man. - MessengerASL
psion0011
Profile Joined December 2008
Canada720 Posts
November 02 2009 09:27 GMT
#137
On November 02 2009 18:22 Shauni wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 18:10 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 18:07 Shauni wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:49 eMbrace wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:47 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"


Both of you are twisting this situation into something retarded.


Where's the retarded part? It's essentially what this is all about. You guys judge him harshly as a failure not only because of his attitude but also because he's 22 and lives at home. I'm just saying that you should throw out your capitalist views about achieving social status before you judge his character.

For the price of someone's rent I can hire a maid to do my laundry AND clean my house.

But he's living there for free and you call him a slave, that is what's retarded.


Do slaves pay rent? Slaves doesn't have any income and they do certainly not get paid for doing chores unlike a maid. They also receive 'free' housing. Don't step on your own foot.

Before you get angry, I'm not saying that he shouldn't do the chores when his dad asks him to, and I only made an extreme parallel to slaving, not saying it has anything to do with his situation. If you get upset over me using the term 'slave', you totally missed my main point.


Yes clearly he is being held in that house against his will LOL

You're pretty good at this internet thing aren't you
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States43815 Posts
November 02 2009 09:29 GMT
#138
On November 02 2009 18:27 psion0011 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 18:22 Shauni wrote:
On November 02 2009 18:10 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 18:07 Shauni wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:49 eMbrace wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:47 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"


Both of you are twisting this situation into something retarded.


Where's the retarded part? It's essentially what this is all about. You guys judge him harshly as a failure not only because of his attitude but also because he's 22 and lives at home. I'm just saying that you should throw out your capitalist views about achieving social status before you judge his character.

For the price of someone's rent I can hire a maid to do my laundry AND clean my house.

But he's living there for free and you call him a slave, that is what's retarded.


Do slaves pay rent? Slaves doesn't have any income and they do certainly not get paid for doing chores unlike a maid. They also receive 'free' housing. Don't step on your own foot.

Before you get angry, I'm not saying that he shouldn't do the chores when his dad asks him to, and I only made an extreme parallel to slaving, not saying it has anything to do with his situation. If you get upset over me using the term 'slave', you totally missed my main point.


Yes clearly he is being held in that house against his will LOL

You're pretty good at this internet thing aren't you

You're pretty bad at this internet thing aren't you.
On November 02 2009 18:22 Shauni wrote:
If you get upset over me using the term 'slave', you totally missed my main point.


He spelled it out for you right there. Jeez.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
psion0011
Profile Joined December 2008
Canada720 Posts
November 02 2009 09:30 GMT
#139
On November 02 2009 18:29 Kwark wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 18:27 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 18:22 Shauni wrote:
On November 02 2009 18:10 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 18:07 Shauni wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:49 eMbrace wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:47 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"


Both of you are twisting this situation into something retarded.


Where's the retarded part? It's essentially what this is all about. You guys judge him harshly as a failure not only because of his attitude but also because he's 22 and lives at home. I'm just saying that you should throw out your capitalist views about achieving social status before you judge his character.

For the price of someone's rent I can hire a maid to do my laundry AND clean my house.

But he's living there for free and you call him a slave, that is what's retarded.


Do slaves pay rent? Slaves doesn't have any income and they do certainly not get paid for doing chores unlike a maid. They also receive 'free' housing. Don't step on your own foot.

Before you get angry, I'm not saying that he shouldn't do the chores when his dad asks him to, and I only made an extreme parallel to slaving, not saying it has anything to do with his situation. If you get upset over me using the term 'slave', you totally missed my main point.


Yes clearly he is being held in that house against his will LOL

You're pretty good at this internet thing aren't you

You're pretty bad at this internet thing aren't you.
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 18:22 Shauni wrote:
If you get upset over me using the term 'slave', you totally missed my main point.


He spelled it out for you right there. Jeez.

Please read his post again maybe you missed something!
eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
November 02 2009 09:32 GMT
#140
On November 02 2009 18:27 psion0011 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 18:22 Shauni wrote:
On November 02 2009 18:10 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 18:07 Shauni wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:49 eMbrace wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:47 psion0011 wrote:
On November 02 2009 17:36 Shauni wrote:
Wow Mora I'm so relieved I'm not your son. I'm so tired of all the talk about respect, most of you North Americans seem to sing in tune about this for some reason.

All people deserve equal respect until they are proven otherwise. Regardless of social position (parenting, job, lifestyle, sexuality, anything). You do not deserve more respect because you successfully moved out from home earlier than he did. A fire-fighter doesn't deserve extra respect because he is saving lives.

He doesn't respect his dad? Who the hell are you to judge? Respect has nothing to do with slaving for your parent or doing what he wants you to do. It'd be one thing if he didn't do the laundry out of dislike for the dad, but it doesn't sound like that at all. I believe the parent-child bond is (or should be) deep enough not to get swayed by useless arguments about daily chores.


"Laundry? FUCK YOU DAD I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE oh yeah where's my dinner? oh btw thanks for letting me live here for free lol"


Both of you are twisting this situation into something retarded.


Where's the retarded part? It's essentially what this is all about. You guys judge him harshly as a failure not only because of his attitude but also because he's 22 and lives at home. I'm just saying that you should throw out your capitalist views about achieving social status before you judge his character.

For the price of someone's rent I can hire a maid to do my laundry AND clean my house.

But he's living there for free and you call him a slave, that is what's retarded.


Do slaves pay rent? Slaves doesn't have any income and they do certainly not get paid for doing chores unlike a maid. They also receive 'free' housing. Don't step on your own foot.

Before you get angry, I'm not saying that he shouldn't do the chores when his dad asks him to, and I only made an extreme parallel to slaving, not saying it has anything to do with his situation. If you get upset over me using the term 'slave', you totally missed my main point.


Yes clearly he is being held in that house against his will LOL

You're pretty good at this internet thing aren't you


i would hope a reasonably human being wouldn't ever feel superior to their child merely because they raised them in their own house.

it's like a firefighter rescuing you from a burning building and saying "you owe me, big time."

are you going to thank that firefighter to death for saving you? sure. are going to give him some free food if he visits you at your food service job? hell yeah.

but is it right for him to demand unreasonably things of you? not really -- he certainly has the power to guilt trip you though.
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