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Story About Another Zergling

Blogs > Chef
Post a Reply
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
September 12 2009 04:18 GMT
#1
In our society your status is directly proportional to how closely the colour of your body matches the ideal colour. My colour is far off the mark. My colour is so far off the mark that it demands surgery to rectify. Many Zergs go to professionals to help them alter their colour to be more perfect, but they do not require surgery. I am the only Zerg I know that requries surgery.

For some Zergs, surgery is not important. Zergs that go to war, for example, wear imperfections of their colour with pride. The scars of battle that have darkened the hue beyond perfection. Zergs fawn over these war heros, when they return from battle, admiring their scars. I have no such excuse. I only guard the Drones. Hardly anything happens to Drones. All my 'friends' have near perfect hues. I'm still far away from perfect.

I've had the surgeries. Still no where close. I feel like other Zergs look at me... in disgust? Or is it pity? I don't have the courage to find out. Sometimes I feel like I'll never attain the perfect hue.

It's genetic isn't it? Those Zerg born from good larvae get good hues. Those Zerg born from okay larvae get okay hues. I must have been born from a really bad larvae. No matter how many minerals and vespene gas I pay 'professionals' it never seems to be enough. They assure me next visit I'll be beautiful. Then next visit they say the same thing. Always another delay. Forever delaying. How many more weeks will this add before I can retire, doc? I know you love to remind me every time I visit, at least 20 times. His services are expensive.

Sometimes I don't trust these professionals. What do they really know? They haven't 'fixed' me yet. Do I really need to be fixed? Oh I know no other Zergs will accept me until I'm an acceptable hue, but what do they really know? Maybe I don't care anymore. Maybe I was naive and stupid when I first decided I wanted to fix my hue. Pressured in my youth to fix something that wasn't really broken. Even if it is broken, will altering me superficially relinquish my offspring of such genetic despair? Oh right, I'm a Zergling, I don't have offspring.

****
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Elite00fm
Profile Joined January 2008
United States548 Posts
September 12 2009 04:22 GMT
#2
LOL
surprisingly funny read
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
September 12 2009 04:22 GMT
#3
Is your doctor protoss? if so, they really are baised and will asked for too much since your a tinie winnie cutie zergling. Do you see how fairy looking they are with they goons and carriers? I mean they can buy that because things in Auir are over priced.
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
Chau
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada408 Posts
September 12 2009 04:25 GMT
#4
At the very least, your twin will have the same hue, no?
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
September 12 2009 04:35 GMT
#5
^ unfortunately, if you read his previous blogs his the zergling that didn't have a twin so very sad. Fuck blizzard for the glitches !
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
Dgtl
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada889 Posts
September 12 2009 04:47 GMT
#6
Haha, poor little zergling having to defend drones all day
^______________^
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States43322 Posts
September 12 2009 04:48 GMT
#7
You probably have your twin inside you somewhere. That happens in rare cases. It'll be like a big tumour that fucks with your body.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
illu
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2531 Posts
September 12 2009 04:52 GMT
#8
Didn't know Zerglings got huge boners.
:]
Archaic
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States4024 Posts
September 12 2009 05:14 GMT
#9
On September 12 2009 13:48 Kwark wrote:
You probably have your twin inside you somewhere. That happens in rare cases. It'll be like a big tumour that fucks with your body.

What do you have to do to get the metallic black in UMS?
ShaperofDreams
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2492 Posts
September 12 2009 05:40 GMT
#10
I recommend Acutane, seriously amazing stuff.


Bitches don't know about my overlord. FUCK OFF ALDARIS I HAVE ENOUGH PYLONS. My Balls are as smooth as Eggs.
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
September 12 2009 06:43 GMT
#11
On September 12 2009 14:40 ShaperofDreams wrote:
I recommend Acutane, seriously amazing stuff.



This has to be A+ product; it's recommended by a fellow Zergling.
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
inlagdsil
Profile Joined May 2008
Canada957 Posts
September 12 2009 10:05 GMT
#12
This zergling introspection makes me happy
There is nothing cuter than a zergling when it has just started taking crack
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21244 Posts
September 12 2009 22:39 GMT
#13
I want a pet Zergling :3
TranslatorBaa!
Psyonic_Reaver
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States4338 Posts
September 12 2009 23:23 GMT
#14
On September 13 2009 07:39 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
I want a pet Zergling :3


Aw! How cute. He just ate my leg.
So wait? I'm bad? =(
beetlelisk
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Poland2276 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-09-13 00:39:34
September 13 2009 00:38 GMT
#15
This one gave me bitter-sweet emotions because I kept getting images of net vs Real Life and why I've started tending to net xP

Chef imagine your blog combined with Saracen's [Cartoon] How to play Zerg! 8D n_N
wwww
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