Ok that should have gotten rid of him. We cant have him reading the plan. Alright as I’m sure we are all aware, Chill is simply too good of a moderator. Allowing people of his level to come to our forums and ban people is unfair to the newer, less experienced banlings. How are people like Micronesia and Harem supposed to flourish in this scene when Canadian gosus like Chill and Manifesto are always coming here and moderating all over the forums? Luckily I have a plan. It is a rather simple plan, without too many complex steps. It is as follows:
Step One: New Additions to the Pro Team
I fully understand that Teamliquid is already rather Protoss heavy. However, there are two additions that must be made to drive out Chill and it is merely a coincidence that they are both Protoss. First, an offer must be made to Combat-Ex.
Credit to TL Member Floorboard
As has been demonstrated millions of times over the centuries, Chill and Combat have a mild feud between them. Though they are both Canadian and should therefore be showering each other with presents at all times, this has proven to not be the case. In the Teamliquid community, it sometimes seems that Liquid` players themselves are higher on the totem pole than even staff members. Even if it cannot be said with certainty that the acquisition of Combat would put him higher in the chain of command than Chill, the odds are decent. If this is indeed the case, Chill will become increasingly angry by the day, raising his inclination to leave.
The second player that will be necessary for the plan is the loser of TSL 3, Naniwa.
Intimidating!
Naniwa is a man of very few (English) words. In the last few months alone, two separate three-or-less word sentences have risen to meme-tastic status: “It’s Okay,” and “CHILL GET OUT.” It is because of the latter sentence that Naniwa’s transition over to Liquid is a critical component of this strategy. After being yelled at to GET OUT on a daily basis, Chill will slowly enter a depression. Naturally, the only way he will be able to remedy this is by resigning as Teamliqud moderator.
Step Two: Mandatory Girl Blogs
It has recently became very public knowledge that Chill is not the giant fan of girl blogs that we all presumed he was. This information will prove to be very valuable. While I have not yet discussed the logistics with R1ch, I am hoping to have the traditional “captcha” required when joining the site changed to a mandatory girl blog of at least 500 words. To officially become a member of this wonderful community, one of would have to have their girl blog read for quality testing and accepted by Chill via a signed, notarized letter. This also has the added benefit of slowing the flow of dummies into the forums.
Step Three: Have Liquid`Meat sell his share of the site to TDot.
Unfortunately for Chill, his number of mortal enemies is greater than 1. He has been engaged in a prolonged battle with supertroll Tdot since the early 1930s. Chill rose to prominence in this community by being Teamliquid’s most finely honed Tdot slayer. Whenever Tdot came back for another attack, Chill has always been ready with his mighty Ban Hammer. If Tdot became partial owner of the site, however, he would be immune to the Hammer. Chill’s inability to take out the TrollTitan that is Tdot would absolutely cripple him mentally and emotionally. After dealing with the nonsense of Combat-Ex, the agressive hatred of Naniwa, and the cesspool of idiocy that is girl blogs, this would be the final nail in the coffin. Chill would be unable to move. Chill would be unable to feel and unable to think. He would have no other choice but to resign from Teamliquid while he carries out his years and years of psychiatric therapy.
It Is Now Complete
With Chill out of the picture, everyone from Aesop to Zelniq will be able to patrol the site entirely safe. No longer will the banlings have to constantly moderate with a sense of shame, knowing they cannot compete with the high-level banning of Chill. He and his kind will just live in a distant land, forever our superior. But it will not matter, for we will be living in blissful ignorance of the level of competition around us.
Thank you for reading but keep it quiet.
+ Show Spoiler +
Is joke! <3 Chill!!!!!! + Show Spoiler +
No seriously, dont tase hate me! + Show Spoiler +
Thanks to VGhost and Bobwhiz for inspiration. :D:D