Day[9] is actually a muppet.
Now I know what you're thinking. You're saying "But Ketara, I love Day[9], he is hilariously funny and provides excellent commentary on my daily life." But to this I ask you, have muppets not done the same for years?
Let us examine the evidence.
Exhibit A:
The most important realization that Day[9] is a muppet comes from a distinct lack of lower body screentime. This is in fact because our illustrious Mr. Plott does not have a lower torso. Because he is a muppet.
Day[9] has even been quoted on his show saying that nobody has any idea if he is wearing pants, because they cannot see them. In reality, we all know that he is NOT wearing pants, because he has no legs. Because he is a muppet.
Edit: To people saying that we have seen Day[9]s legs before, you obviously have never watched The Muppets. They all have legs from time to time, there are just strings attached to their arms while they walk. Can you tell me there are definitely no strings attached to Day[9] when he walks?
Day[9] also exhibits some other muppetlike body features. He has big arms and waves them around excessively when he talks. Furthermore, his mouth is exceptionally oversized compared to the rest of his body, something that will be illustrated in the points below. All of these facts point conclusively to Day[9] being a muppet.
The below points shall examine video evidence of Day[9] displaying muppetlike features.
Exhibit B:
Have you ever seen a real person do something like this when they hear trumpets?
+ Show Spoiler +
alt video
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No, you haven't. Because he's a muppet:
+ Show Spoiler +
Exhibit C:
What about this one? Have you ever seen a real person do something like this?
+ Show Spoiler +
Nope, you've never seen a real person do that either. Only muppets do things like that:
+ Show Spoiler +
Possible? alt gif
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Exhibit D:
As we all know, Day[9] was recently featured on Sesame Street, a place that is frequently visited by muppets:
+ Show Spoiler +
Exhibit E:
This one is pretty self explanatory. Clearly an actual photograph of Day[9] at a family reunion.
+ Show Spoiler +
On January 07 2011 15:21 Day[9] wrote:
UPDATE: As of Sunday 1/09/2011, Day[9] has admitted that he is in fact a muppet. Congratulations to all of our heroes, for getting him to admit his dark and terrible secret, and allowing us to all move on with full knowledge of his lack of torso space.
It is also worth noting that Day[9] has never said that he is NOT a muppet. This means it is perfectly plausible that he is one.
I'm sorry that I have had to reveal this dark and terrible secret to the public. But it's okay Day[9], we all still love you, and are looking forward to your upcoming contract with Disney where you will star in its new musical, "The Muppets do Tron"
The only question that remains is which of Jim Hensons creations Day[9] most resembles. I'm sure there is ample room for debate on this topic. Is he Kermit the Frog because of his disposition towards waving his arms around wildly? Or perhaps Animal because he likes to scream for no reason? Or maybe he is Stadtler and Waldorf, because of his fondness for heckling.
Please discuss. And thank you for your time.