EPTThe article is scar mongering a bit, but it s true that no one ever asks for help. Out of all of the saves i have had- only one ever asked for help. and most likely that person was more of a distressed swimmer, not drowning. The entire part about not talking is true, as well as the lack of splashing / noise in general.
However enough about the serious stuff: time for some funny lifeguard tales- of an inner city pool :0
Steve Erwin Memories:
the seagull
+ Show Spoiler +
I was sitting on break enjoying a sub when suddenly my boss asks me to come out and help her do something. As i step out into the office she hands me a pair of rubber gloves, a cardboard box. I had a weird look on my face to say the least. Seeming to notice my quizzical look- she quickly told me that some kids had thrown a football at a seagull. The seagull apparently had a broken wing, and was currently residing in the deep end of our pool- squawking away in 15 ft of water.
As i slowly saddled up and placed the gloves on and firmly grabbed the box in my hands, i began to swim out to the distressed gull. everyone was watching me, and with people telling me that my eyes are going to be pecked out- i pushed off from the side of the pool, swimming one armed with a box above my head. as i was slowly approaching the gull, all of the time spent watching animal planet, and discovery came to mind. Acting with my best Steve voice, i called her a beauty and began to try and coax the bird into my box. Sadly the bird didn't want to have any of this shit. It started to freak out. thankfully i got my hand around it's neck before it could swim farther away, and while i was trying to stuff it into the box it was pecking, flapping, kicking it's way on my hand. Now let me tell you- trying to tread water while stuffing a bird into a box is not easy. couple that with the fact that this bird is supremely pissed off made it all the better for the spectators.
5 min later i had that fucking bird inside of that box, and thankfully had sent it to the humane society to get it fixed. I felt all good, and hoping that karma would be flowing good for me for the next few weeks
but no- humane society just killed it.
As i slowly saddled up and placed the gloves on and firmly grabbed the box in my hands, i began to swim out to the distressed gull. everyone was watching me, and with people telling me that my eyes are going to be pecked out- i pushed off from the side of the pool, swimming one armed with a box above my head. as i was slowly approaching the gull, all of the time spent watching animal planet, and discovery came to mind. Acting with my best Steve voice, i called her a beauty and began to try and coax the bird into my box. Sadly the bird didn't want to have any of this shit. It started to freak out. thankfully i got my hand around it's neck before it could swim farther away, and while i was trying to stuff it into the box it was pecking, flapping, kicking it's way on my hand. Now let me tell you- trying to tread water while stuffing a bird into a box is not easy. couple that with the fact that this bird is supremely pissed off made it all the better for the spectators.
5 min later i had that fucking bird inside of that box, and thankfully had sent it to the humane society to get it fixed. I felt all good, and hoping that karma would be flowing good for me for the next few weeks
but no- humane society just killed it.The Rabbit:
+ Show Spoiler +
During one of the worst summer rain storms that i can remember- me and another life guard were quickly taking down items that could be destroyed by the storm. as we were running back into our main building, we saw a baby rabbit run form one of our pool land scape bushes across some open ground. With a strong gust of wind- the bunny lost it's footing and tumbled into the deep end of the pool. The rabbit immediately began to swim, but because of the lip on the pool was stuck from getting out. With out thinking me and the other life guard dove into the pool and by boxing the rabbit in were able to grab, and rescue it from the clutches of the pool. We wrapped the rabbit in some of our towels to dry it off a bit, and then quickly ran it back to the huge cluster of bushes from which it came.
Really Funny Drowning People:
Twins
+ Show Spoiler +
When it is a rainy cloudy shitty day- what do you want to do? go see a movie or go to the fucking pool? well i can tell you- if you chose the movies your wrong. the only course of action is always the pool! otherwise your not hard core, lite the rest of the patients that come to my facility. so as you can probably imagine, this day was one of those days. It was cloudy cold, nad windy. So there i was sitting in my favorite chair with a huge parka on. The pool had just opened up and i was not expecting anyone to show up on a day like today. But not 2 seconds after i had said that, two little shits came running into the pool- and straight over to my drop slide.
Now let me explain the drop slide. If you can swim it's no big deal. basically it's a slide that has a 60 degree slope, and it shoots you into the water. the slide stops about 3 feet from the surface, so it's fairly exhilarating. Well these two little scamps came running up to the slide, and with their father standing near by the first one shot down the slide.
Now it's common practice for the slide attendant at the top of the slide to ask the kids if they can swim in deep water. Obviously the kid was young, and i noticed that attendant ask the kid three times if he can swim. he shook his head yes. with out a second to lose, he shot down the slide- and began drowning. yep thats right- the only people in the pool come right over to me, and of course the first person in the pool begins to drown. So i jump in and save his ass. the entire time his father is just chuckling that his kid made the cold lifeguard get in and soak all of his warm cloths. As i slowly stripped off my wet cloths, and dried off using my towel- i wrapped the towel around my shoulders, and got up on my chair once again.
I look up at the top of the slide and to my horror, the kids twin brother is going down the slide. Stifling a fuuuuuuuuuuuuu- the kid hits the water- and begins to drown. So i jump after the little shit, and safe the twin brother. Now all of my cloths are soaking wet, my towel is wet- and the pool had been open for less than 5 min. and the father is standing near my chair stairing stupidly at the water- hopefully coming to the conclusion that he had almost lost both of his kids in less than 5 min. fml.
Now let me explain the drop slide. If you can swim it's no big deal. basically it's a slide that has a 60 degree slope, and it shoots you into the water. the slide stops about 3 feet from the surface, so it's fairly exhilarating. Well these two little scamps came running up to the slide, and with their father standing near by the first one shot down the slide.
Now it's common practice for the slide attendant at the top of the slide to ask the kids if they can swim in deep water. Obviously the kid was young, and i noticed that attendant ask the kid three times if he can swim. he shook his head yes. with out a second to lose, he shot down the slide- and began drowning. yep thats right- the only people in the pool come right over to me, and of course the first person in the pool begins to drown. So i jump in and save his ass. the entire time his father is just chuckling that his kid made the cold lifeguard get in and soak all of his warm cloths. As i slowly stripped off my wet cloths, and dried off using my towel- i wrapped the towel around my shoulders, and got up on my chair once again.
I look up at the top of the slide and to my horror, the kids twin brother is going down the slide. Stifling a fuuuuuuuuuuuuu- the kid hits the water- and begins to drown. So i jump after the little shit, and safe the twin brother. Now all of my cloths are soaking wet, my towel is wet- and the pool had been open for less than 5 min. and the father is standing near my chair stairing stupidly at the water- hopefully coming to the conclusion that he had almost lost both of his kids in less than 5 min. fml.
queen latifah:
+ Show Spoiler +
If you have not read twins story read that first.
I was sitting on my fav chair again, right next to the drop slide. It had been a good day and i had not had to dive in and save anyone 'yet' with 15 min left for the pool to be open, i was hoping that it would be a rare day where i did not have to get wet. But boy ohh boy i was so wrong. I had noticed that for some time a rather large African American women had been going up and down the drop slide. she seemed to scared to go down the slide- so i just asked her if she could swim. She responded that yes she was a good swimmer and could swim in deep water quite well. So with about 3 min left of the day she finally gathered enough courage to finally attempt the drop slide. I watched her go down, and sure enough as soon as she hit the water started to drown. So much for her being a strong swimmer i though- as i plunged into the pool.
by the time that i had gotten to her, she was screaming that only a women like that can scream. She was belting out the 'LOOORDY LOOORDY LORDS' like no tomorrow, and while it is my job to try and calm the victim when i am swimming them to safety, nothing i said seemed to help her at all. she was milking it for all it for all it was worth- and nothing i could say or do made her calm down. Basically the end of the night, i was soaking wet- and in a super mood yet again.
I was sitting on my fav chair again, right next to the drop slide. It had been a good day and i had not had to dive in and save anyone 'yet' with 15 min left for the pool to be open, i was hoping that it would be a rare day where i did not have to get wet. But boy ohh boy i was so wrong. I had noticed that for some time a rather large African American women had been going up and down the drop slide. she seemed to scared to go down the slide- so i just asked her if she could swim. She responded that yes she was a good swimmer and could swim in deep water quite well. So with about 3 min left of the day she finally gathered enough courage to finally attempt the drop slide. I watched her go down, and sure enough as soon as she hit the water started to drown. So much for her being a strong swimmer i though- as i plunged into the pool.
by the time that i had gotten to her, she was screaming that only a women like that can scream. She was belting out the 'LOOORDY LOOORDY LORDS' like no tomorrow, and while it is my job to try and calm the victim when i am swimming them to safety, nothing i said seemed to help her at all. she was milking it for all it for all it was worth- and nothing i could say or do made her calm down. Basically the end of the night, i was soaking wet- and in a super mood yet again.
Double Story Double Save:
+ Show Spoiler +
Saving one person is always cool. However life guards are always talking about the doubles. A double is saving two people at the same time. IE you jump into the water after one, and come out with two. This is a rare occurrence, and all of the danges and worries of saving one person are doubled with two.
My first story is about a mom and her 6 month old baby.
Mom and baby are standing awfully close to the point on our pool where it goes to 5ft to around 13 feet. This drop off is really just a very aggressive slop on the pool bottom. Mom was standing in a circle talking with some of her friends, and i noticed her take a larger
'water jump' back. She was immediately in water over her head, and was quite surprised that 6 inches away from where she could touch the bottom, she was not in water over head. With both hands holding the baby, she quickly went under- feet from her friends, and no one seemed to notice.
at that point is was already off my chair and jumping into the water. I reached the drowning pari about 5 seconds after i saw mom jump over her head, and quickly had the baby cradled in one of my hands. Thankfully the kid was crying, and was OK. I grabbed mom with my other hand- and gave her my lifeguard tube. She was sputtering, but still breathing- so i pulled her to a section of the pool where she could touch. My first concern was still the baby, and i left my tube with the mom in the water while i quickly walked twards the side of the pool. The baby was crying the entire time, and i quickly laid the baby on it's side, and watched it or a few moments.
Luckily the baby was fine, and was simply crying because of the obvious scare it had been placed in. Oddly enough- mom decided to scream in my year and tell me that i need to do CPR on her child, and acted disgusted / called me racist for telling her that here baby is ok, and the becuase it is coughing / crying is breathing, conscious, and does not need CPR.
Diving Board double
Our diving board is in 14ft of water, which is clearly over anyone's head. However this did not stop one girl from jumping off the board into the water. She of course began to drown, and as i was in mid air jumping from my high stand- i noticed that another girl is running and proceeding to jump off the board. I told her to stop as loud as i could, but because she failed to realize that her friend was drowning, or had some how not heard my extremely loud whistling, still ran and jumped off the board.
By the time the second girl hit the water, i was already swimming the first girl to the side- when i noticed that the second girl started to drown as well. I quickly swam back with the first girl freaking out on my tube fro the second. Luckily i could grab both of them and spinning them on their backs- safely took them to the edge. when i got them safe and sound on the side- i
reprimanded the second girl for jumping, and told her to look before she leaps.
My first story is about a mom and her 6 month old baby.
Mom and baby are standing awfully close to the point on our pool where it goes to 5ft to around 13 feet. This drop off is really just a very aggressive slop on the pool bottom. Mom was standing in a circle talking with some of her friends, and i noticed her take a larger
'water jump' back. She was immediately in water over her head, and was quite surprised that 6 inches away from where she could touch the bottom, she was not in water over head. With both hands holding the baby, she quickly went under- feet from her friends, and no one seemed to notice.
at that point is was already off my chair and jumping into the water. I reached the drowning pari about 5 seconds after i saw mom jump over her head, and quickly had the baby cradled in one of my hands. Thankfully the kid was crying, and was OK. I grabbed mom with my other hand- and gave her my lifeguard tube. She was sputtering, but still breathing- so i pulled her to a section of the pool where she could touch. My first concern was still the baby, and i left my tube with the mom in the water while i quickly walked twards the side of the pool. The baby was crying the entire time, and i quickly laid the baby on it's side, and watched it or a few moments.
Luckily the baby was fine, and was simply crying because of the obvious scare it had been placed in. Oddly enough- mom decided to scream in my year and tell me that i need to do CPR on her child, and acted disgusted / called me racist for telling her that here baby is ok, and the becuase it is coughing / crying is breathing, conscious, and does not need CPR.
Diving Board double
Our diving board is in 14ft of water, which is clearly over anyone's head. However this did not stop one girl from jumping off the board into the water. She of course began to drown, and as i was in mid air jumping from my high stand- i noticed that another girl is running and proceeding to jump off the board. I told her to stop as loud as i could, but because she failed to realize that her friend was drowning, or had some how not heard my extremely loud whistling, still ran and jumped off the board.
By the time the second girl hit the water, i was already swimming the first girl to the side- when i noticed that the second girl started to drown as well. I quickly swam back with the first girl freaking out on my tube fro the second. Luckily i could grab both of them and spinning them on their backs- safely took them to the edge. when i got them safe and sound on the side- i
reprimanded the second girl for jumping, and told her to look before she leaps.
Some of my facts:
+ Show Spoiler +
I have saved 5 people in a 7 hour period
i have had over 50+ saves in my time as a life guard
Only one person has ever said thank you to me after saving them
I have saved people of all ages. the oldest was a 40 year old overweight male that said he could swim, but upon jumping off the diving board found out the hard way, and sunk to the bottom. This was my hardest save, because dragging him from 13 ft under water was really hard.
I have never had some one drown on me
I have never had a spinal or serious conditon
I have never given CPR
I have never given rescue breathing
I have never delivered a baby
The dumbest save i have ever had was with a 14 year old kid. He comes up to me and asks how deep the water is by the diving board. I tell him that its 14 feet, and that he sould not go off the board if he cannot swim. 5 min later he jumps off the board, and drowns. When i get to him in the water- i am fuming mad and ask him why he jumped- his answer? "I could see the bottom so i thought i could touch.
When people say they can swim, you need to ask them if they can swim in deep water over their heads. Because for some reason- people think that walking in water = swimming.
never doubt the stupidity of people around water.
I have yelled at people having sex in the pool
I have yelled at people only wearning a t shirt and no bottoms in the pool
Girls rutinely wear nothing but a white cotton shirt on top- with under wear for bottoms
ext ext.
Basically i life guard to much.
i have had over 50+ saves in my time as a life guard
Only one person has ever said thank you to me after saving them
I have saved people of all ages. the oldest was a 40 year old overweight male that said he could swim, but upon jumping off the diving board found out the hard way, and sunk to the bottom. This was my hardest save, because dragging him from 13 ft under water was really hard.
I have never had some one drown on me
I have never had a spinal or serious conditon
I have never given CPR
I have never given rescue breathing
I have never delivered a baby
The dumbest save i have ever had was with a 14 year old kid. He comes up to me and asks how deep the water is by the diving board. I tell him that its 14 feet, and that he sould not go off the board if he cannot swim. 5 min later he jumps off the board, and drowns. When i get to him in the water- i am fuming mad and ask him why he jumped- his answer? "I could see the bottom so i thought i could touch.
When people say they can swim, you need to ask them if they can swim in deep water over their heads. Because for some reason- people think that walking in water = swimming.
never doubt the stupidity of people around water.
I have yelled at people having sex in the pool
I have yelled at people only wearning a t shirt and no bottoms in the pool
Girls rutinely wear nothing but a white cotton shirt on top- with under wear for bottoms
ext ext.
Basically i life guard to much.
)? I'd never think there'd be that many major situations that a lifeguard would have to deal with in one career if they worked at a pool. i've only had a one major situation in 3 years, and a few minors (def a good thing though). 
