For the past month, I've been: eating better and less, going to the gym, trying online dating.
I've realised that online dating isn't for me... for now.
I absolutely wanted a date, I found a girl that was ready to go on a date with, but I'm not attracted to her and I got cold feet from this whole thing.
I'm still a bit lonely, but I guess I'm getting what I want: to stay alone.
I'm not lonely enough to try everything to break out of it.
I'm fine on my own, I'm doing okay, I don't know if I'll keep going to the gym, I wanted results fast, I'm barely losing weight, I'm not eating enough, I may hurt my self, and I'll never get a good body anyway...
I've been eating two 250 calories salad a day with a 120 calories vegetables "snack", and a sugary drink.
I'm going to stop the fruity drink, but being at less than 900 calories a day, exercising, and still having pretty much the same fat as before... I think something is clearly not working there.
Probably I'm not exercising hard enough, and I may be burning my muscles instead of my fat.
A friend told me to give it 2 months... I'm not sure I will, it's exhausting.
Online dating as an ugly guy is brutal, you don't even match with ugly girls, but then after the scammers I had a girl wanting to go on a date with me, and that's when I realised I wasn't ready for this.
I have to accept myself first, I have to live on my own and be "me" before I add anyone to the equation, and if I can only get girls I'm not attracted to, then maybe I'm better off alone.
So yeah, I don't know if I'll go back to the gym after the end of the month, there is so much to watch series and streams. And I'll stop online dating right here, it's useless in my case, impossible standards... It's okay, lots of guys are single, does not mean I can't enjoy life.
And since I've been single my whole life, here is the silver lining: I don't know what I'm missing on, so in a way, I'm not missing anything.
I'll focus on my own growth, and have a body I can live with, or stop the gym and accept that I'll always be flabby at best, and fat at worst... no big deal, accepting defeat is easier than maintaining a perfect body my whole life, a body that I'll probably never achieve given how easy I put fat on.
I'm quite happy tonight, realising that I can live on my own without needing anyone, and that life is quite fine as it is.
Fuck the gym, fuck the diet, fuck online dating, I don't need any of these shit (or maybe I do to feel good, but you get the idea).
Now, I just need something to make more money than my current first entry job, and maybe a hobby (ideally my hobby would be to learn a skill that I can could then use to turn into money, or my hobby would be my business itself, workaholic, just need to find whatever I can do without much knowledge of anything... probably nothing, ho well, maybe I can try and learn something or get a cheap hobby... just need something to occupy my mind, something productive in one way or another).
Maybe I should pick up programming again, but I wasn't good at that.
I don't know, bodies are so individual. Like, low carb or no fat or veggies or whatever...it is like an interesting experiment though. You are your own guinea pig in that sense. I read that toxins are stored in fat cells and that is one reason why your body is holding on to them, since losing them starts releasing those toxins back into your body and will stress your kidneys and liver, so I would start drinking green tea, anything that helps the body to get rid of them. As for a diet, best diet I ever found, crying yourself hungry to sleep. Interesting skill to master, since in the beginning your stomach digests itself while shrinking, that is painful. But you learn wether you are really feeling weak or your body is just adjusting. As for exercising, now if you can make that a hobby, you are golden. If the gym is not for you, F the gym. Jumping on a trampoline is probably one of the most physically taxing things you can do and it is so distracting and fun. Also, I truly believe that exercise is just as good for the brain as it is for the body, so maybe motivate yourself by adopting that believe. Stretching exercises can increase stem cell production in your body...there are studies out there to support any "fact", so find what sounds beneficial and start believing in science yo (the irony of that sentence is not lost on me)! Oh yeah, apparently some biologists claim that the way the body distinguishes between hunger and thirst is simply by how dry your mouth is...so if those hunger pains take over drink something.
edit: oh yeah, and stay away from fruity or sugary drinks, something = water and it saves money...apparently even fast food is kinda ok to eat every other month if you don't take one of those drinks with it. Also if you don't, prepare your everyday food yourself and don't eat salad if you don't like it and if the only thing in a salad you like is the meat, cheese and dressing that consists of honey,oil, mustard and vinegar then you don't like salad and if you prepare it yourself you get a feeling for how disgusting the quantities of some ingredients in "healthy" foods are. Think, read, use your mind, I actually find self improvement fun.
edit2: If you are scared of overdoing exercising, then yes, listening to your body is a vital thing to learn, to master and improve at. To wrap your head around extremes and the awareness that between all out and nothing at all lies a whole universe. I love Yoga, this Yoga, You can do it at home, You don't need a matt, you do need to listen however, when she says listen to your body or there is an alternative and stay where you feel good, then she means that. Check out this 30 days from four years ago, good starting point for beginners, also cheaper than the gym.
On June 21 2019 06:17 winlessplayer wrote: For the past month, I've been: eating better and less, going to the gym, trying online dating.
I've realised that online dating isn't for me... for now.
I absolutely wanted a date, I found a girl that was ready to go on a date with, but I'm not attracted to her and I got cold feet from this whole thing.
I'm still a bit lonely, but I guess I'm getting what I want: to stay alone.
I'm not lonely enough to try everything to break out of it.
I'm fine on my own, I'm doing okay, I don't know if I'll keep going to the gym, I wanted results fast, I'm barely losing weight, I'm not eating enough, I may hurt my self, and I'll never get a good body anyway...
I've been eating two 250 calories salad a day with a 120 calories vegetables "snack", and a sugary drink.
I'm going to stop the fruity drink, but being at less than 900 calories a day, exercising, and still having pretty much the same fat as before... I think something is clearly not working there.
Probably I'm not exercising hard enough, and I may be burning my muscles instead of my fat.
A friend told me to give it 2 months... I'm not sure I will, it's exhausting.
Okay, we're going to talk about this for a minute because it's the easiest.
Your describing training and getting no results, while also feeling very fatigued. This is NOT how training should feel. Sure, you should be tired occassionally after a particularly hard workout, but it shouldn't leave you exhausted or consistently fatigued. This is also why you're not seeing results. The training is just the stimulus for the results. The actual improvements happen when you recover. In other words, between workouts and especially at night sleeping. If you're fatigued consistently, that means you aren't recovering.
So, why are you not recovering? You said it up there...you're eating 900 calories a day. 900. Dude, that's less than a 40kg(90lbs) 65 year old woman with a slow metabolism would need to eat. You just don't have enough energy. Moreover, with those calories you're not getting the nutrients you need in terms of vitamins, minerals, etc. It just isn't possible on 900kcal. Also, you're not getting enough protein, of which you want at least 1.5-2 g/kg of body weight each day.
Put all of this together, and it's really simple. You're starving the shit out of yourself. This slows down weightloss, results in muscle loss, and most importantly feels incredibly depriving and makes you miserably fatigued all the fucking time. Heck, I doubt you even have the energy for workouts.
Anyway, I don't want to sound like I'm giving you shit, but yea you need to eat more. MUCH more. At least 2000 calories a day, maybe even 2500. Get your 120-180g of protein each day. Get in a shitload of veggies. Cut back on the grains and refined food. Maybe limit dairy as well if it's an irritant. Cut the refined oils (use extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, grass fed butter). Highly simple, and that's all you need to do.
I'm fine on my own, I'm doing okay, I don't know if I'll keep going to the gym, I wanted results fast, I'm barely losing weight, I'm not eating enough, I may hurt my self, and I'll never get a good body anyway...
Bullshit. Getting a good body is highly achievable for any person. If you want to look like a magazine fitness cover model...okay yea that's a stretch, but it doesn't take any crazy dieting, ridiculous training or anything else to add 15lbs of muscle and lean up to the point where you can start to at least see some abs. People like this still look VERY good.
You're also not okay not exercising. If you're not getting vigorous exercise 3-4 times per week, that's horrible for both body and mind. You feel fine, because you're used to it, but you're far below how you should and could feel. Not to mention it's a wonderful way to age yourself and increase risk for diseases.
None of this is a big commitment, you can get excellent health results on 2-3 hours per week, possibly even a bit less.
Online dating as an ugly guy is brutal, you don't even match with ugly girls, but then after the scammers I had a girl wanting to go on a date with me, and that's when I realised I wasn't ready for this.
I have to accept myself first, I have to live on my own and be "me" before I add anyone to the equation, and if I can only get girls I'm not attracted to, then maybe I'm better off alone.
So yeah, I don't know if I'll go back to the gym after the end of the month, there is so much to watch series and streams. And I'll stop online dating right here, it's useless in my case, impossible standards... It's okay, lots of guys are single, does not mean I can't enjoy life.
You're *probably* not "ugly". Genuinely ugly men or women are rare. If you're carrying a ton of extra weight (say at least 50, but probably more like 75-100lbs) yea you might be temporarily ugly. But there is a fix for that as you know. Get in shape, and it will massively lean out your face, which is a HUGE boost to looks. Combine that improved, leaner face with a marginally better than average body and you're easily into the top 10-20% of the dating market.
I'll focus on my own growth, and have a body I can live with, or stop the gym and accept that I'll always be flabby at best, and fat at worst... no big deal, accepting defeat is easier than maintaining a perfect body my whole life, a body that I'll probably never achieve given how easy I put fat on.
This is a terrible mindset. No one maintains a "perfect body" their entire life, unless they are an elite athlete, it's their job, they grew up with an immaculate diet, or it's an obsession. People with 6 pack lean bodies for 10 or 20 consecutive years are incredibly rare, well below 1%.
However, maintain an attractive, fit body is easy to do. You need maybe 6-12 months of good work in the gym, drop the fat, and then you're good. Sure, you might go through a stressful time and gain 10, 20, maybe even 30 lbs. Guess what? You'll still look decent and athletic if you gained that weight from a nice lean base.
Also, I put on fat like crazy. I look at an MnM and gain 5lbs. I struggle pretty hard with binge eating junk food, and have a general sugar addiction/craving that I battle every day. I've never had a "perfect" body. I've been close to six pack lean a few times, but never there. That said, I'v always look better than at least 3/4 of people body wise. I spent a year in the gym and put on about 10-15lbs of muscle. I don't look big in clothes, but it's enough to have an athletic silhouette. Right now I'm almost 30lbs over my leanest weight, and I still look fairly good. You can see a hint of gut, but I generally have an athletic shape and get some compliments on how I look.
It's VERY hard to have a perfect, six pack lean body except for the rare genetic or psychological anomaly. It's VERY EASY to have a decent looking, non flabby, athletic body. It' also, as I said above, way way healthier for you.
Is it really worth it to not put in a mere 2 hours a week of training and eat a few more vegetables and a little less junk food to feel significantly better and transform yourself from unattractive to fairly or highly attractive? If you ask me it's a small commitment for a very large payoff.
On June 21 2019 06:17 winlessplayer wrote: For the past month, I've been: eating better and less, going to the gym, trying online dating.
I've realised that online dating isn't for me... for now.
I absolutely wanted a date, I found a girl that was ready to go on a date with, but I'm not attracted to her and I got cold feet from this whole thing.
I'm still a bit lonely, but I guess I'm getting what I want: to stay alone.
I'm not lonely enough to try everything to break out of it.
I'm fine on my own, I'm doing okay, I don't know if I'll keep going to the gym, I wanted results fast, I'm barely losing weight, I'm not eating enough, I may hurt my self, and I'll never get a good body anyway...
I've been eating two 250 calories salad a day with a 120 calories vegetables "snack", and a sugary drink.
I'm going to stop the fruity drink, but being at less than 900 calories a day, exercising, and still having pretty much the same fat as before... I think something is clearly not working there.
Probably I'm not exercising hard enough, and I may be burning my muscles instead of my fat.
A friend told me to give it 2 months... I'm not sure I will, it's exhausting.
Okay, we're going to talk about this for a minute because it's the easiest.
Your describing training and getting no results, while also feeling very fatigued. This is NOT how training should feel. Sure, you should be tired occassionally after a particularly hard workout, but it shouldn't leave you exhausted or consistently fatigued. This is also why you're not seeing results. The training is just the stimulus for the results. The actual improvements happen when you recover. In other words, between workouts and especially at night sleeping. If you're fatigued consistently, that means you aren't recovering.
So, why are you not recovering? You said it up there...you're eating 900 calories a day. 900. Dude, that's less than a 40kg(90lbs) 65 year old woman with a slow metabolism would need to eat. You just don't have enough energy. Moreover, with those calories you're not getting the nutrients you need in terms of vitamins, minerals, etc. It just isn't possible on 900kcal. Also, you're not getting enough protein, of which you want at least 1.5-2 g/kg of body weight each day.
Put all of this together, and it's really simple. You're starving the shit out of yourself. This slows down weightloss, results in muscle loss, and most importantly feels incredibly depriving and makes you miserably fatigued all the fucking time. Heck, I doubt you even have the energy for workouts.
Anyway, I don't want to sound like I'm giving you shit, but yea you need to eat more. MUCH more. At least 2000 calories a day, maybe even 2500. Get your 120-180g of protein each day. Get in a shitload of veggies. Cut back on the grains and refined food. Maybe limit dairy as well if it's an irritant. Cut the refined oils (use extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, grass fed butter). Highly simple, and that's all you need to do.
I'm fine on my own, I'm doing okay, I don't know if I'll keep going to the gym, I wanted results fast, I'm barely losing weight, I'm not eating enough, I may hurt my self, and I'll never get a good body anyway...
Bullshit. Getting a good body is highly achievable for any person. If you want to look like a magazine fitness cover model...okay yea that's a stretch, but it doesn't take any crazy dieting, ridiculous training or anything else to add 15lbs of muscle and lean up to the point where you can start to at least see some abs. People like this still look VERY good.
You're also not okay not exercising. If you're not getting vigorous exercise 3-4 times per week, that's horrible for both body and mind. You feel fine, because you're used to it, but you're far below how you should and could feel. Not to mention it's a wonderful way to age yourself and increase risk for diseases.
None of this is a big commitment, you can get excellent health results on 2-3 hours per week, possibly even a bit less.
Online dating as an ugly guy is brutal, you don't even match with ugly girls, but then after the scammers I had a girl wanting to go on a date with me, and that's when I realised I wasn't ready for this.
I have to accept myself first, I have to live on my own and be "me" before I add anyone to the equation, and if I can only get girls I'm not attracted to, then maybe I'm better off alone.
So yeah, I don't know if I'll go back to the gym after the end of the month, there is so much to watch series and streams. And I'll stop online dating right here, it's useless in my case, impossible standards... It's okay, lots of guys are single, does not mean I can't enjoy life.
You're *probably* not "ugly". Genuinely ugly men or women are rare. If you're carrying a ton of extra weight (say at least 50, but probably more like 75-100lbs) yea you might be temporarily ugly. But there is a fix for that as you know. Get in shape, and it will massively lean out your face, which is a HUGE boost to looks. Combine that improved, leaner face with a marginally better than average body and you're easily into the top 10-20% of the dating market.
I'll focus on my own growth, and have a body I can live with, or stop the gym and accept that I'll always be flabby at best, and fat at worst... no big deal, accepting defeat is easier than maintaining a perfect body my whole life, a body that I'll probably never achieve given how easy I put fat on.
This is a terrible mindset. No one maintains a "perfect body" their entire life, unless they are an elite athlete, it's their job, they grew up with an immaculate diet, or it's an obsession. People with 6 pack lean bodies for 10 or 20 consecutive years are incredibly rare, well below 1%.
However, maintain an attractive, fit body is easy to do. You need maybe 6-12 months of good work in the gym, drop the fat, and then you're good. Sure, you might go through a stressful time and gain 10, 20, maybe even 30 lbs. Guess what? You'll still look decent and athletic if you gained that weight from a nice lean base.
Also, I put on fat like crazy. I look at an MnM and gain 5lbs. I struggle pretty hard with binge eating junk food, and have a general sugar addiction/craving that I battle every day. I've never had a "perfect" body. I've been close to six pack lean a few times, but never there. That said, I'v always look better than at least 3/4 of people body wise. I spent a year in the gym and put on about 10-15lbs of muscle. I don't look big in clothes, but it's enough to have an athletic silhouette. Right now I'm almost 30lbs over my leanest weight, and I still look fairly good. You can see a hint of gut, but I generally have an athletic shape and get some compliments on how I look.
It's VERY hard to have a perfect, six pack lean body except for the rare genetic or psychological anomaly. It's VERY EASY to have a decent looking, non flabby, athletic body. It' also, as I said above, way way healthier for you.
Is it really worth it to not put in a mere 2 hours a week of training and eat a few more vegetables and a little less junk food to feel significantly better and transform yourself from unattractive to fairly or highly attractive? If you ask me it's a small commitment for a very large payoff.
I don't want to just write +1, but this is all really good advice.
Starving yourself and being miserable isn't the answer.
It sounds like you want to/have been eating healthier food. That's awesome that isn't processed and you are avoiding junk foods (occasional cheating is OK) I'm not a great cook but I definitely have more fun and appreciate my food more when I have cooked it. Plus it's a good life skill that women find appealing.
Get a few good workouts in each week but listen to your body and rest when you need. 3-4 times a week sounds right for you.
I don't want to make any assumptions on your life or mental state but from my experience, it sounds like you think having a perfect body and getting a girlfriend will make you happy and it's worth misery now. This isn't the way to do it. Live a healthy lifestyle now, balanced diet, regular exercise and you will be happy with yourself now, if you find someone to share your time with that's just an added bonus.
Don't give up , get some good food in you, rest up and then hit the gym with renewed energy.
You are literally starving yourself. You need to eat a healthy amount of food/calories. A caloric deficit is a couple hundred calories AT MOST. Do not do crash diets, they never work and theres recent evidence they make your body more resistant to weight loss in the future. You need to focus on making small long-term adjustments, which make sustainable lifestyle for you, that have you gradually losing weight until youre at a healthy weight.
On June 21 2019 06:17 winlessplayer wrote: For the past month, I've been: eating better and less, going to the gym, trying online dating.
I've realised that online dating isn't for me... for now.
I absolutely wanted a date, I found a girl that was ready to go on a date with, but I'm not attracted to her and I got cold feet from this whole thing.
I'm still a bit lonely, but I guess I'm getting what I want: to stay alone.
I'm not lonely enough to try everything to break out of it.
I'm fine on my own, I'm doing okay, I don't know if I'll keep going to the gym, I wanted results fast, I'm barely losing weight, I'm not eating enough, I may hurt my self, and I'll never get a good body anyway...
I've been eating two 250 calories salad a day with a 120 calories vegetables "snack", and a sugary drink.
I'm going to stop the fruity drink, but being at less than 900 calories a day, exercising, and still having pretty much the same fat as before... I think something is clearly not working there.
Probably I'm not exercising hard enough, and I may be burning my muscles instead of my fat.
A friend told me to give it 2 months... I'm not sure I will, it's exhausting.
Okay, we're going to talk about this for a minute because it's the easiest.
Your describing training and getting no results, while also feeling very fatigued. This is NOT how training should feel. Sure, you should be tired occassionally after a particularly hard workout, but it shouldn't leave you exhausted or consistently fatigued. This is also why you're not seeing results. The training is just the stimulus for the results. The actual improvements happen when you recover. In other words, between workouts and especially at night sleeping. If you're fatigued consistently, that means you aren't recovering.
So, why are you not recovering? You said it up there...you're eating 900 calories a day. 900. Dude, that's less than a 40kg(90lbs) 65 year old woman with a slow metabolism would need to eat. You just don't have enough energy. Moreover, with those calories you're not getting the nutrients you need in terms of vitamins, minerals, etc. It just isn't possible on 900kcal. Also, you're not getting enough protein, of which you want at least 1.5-2 g/kg of body weight each day.
Put all of this together, and it's really simple. You're starving the shit out of yourself. This slows down weightloss, results in muscle loss, and most importantly feels incredibly depriving and makes you miserably fatigued all the fucking time. Heck, I doubt you even have the energy for workouts.
Anyway, I don't want to sound like I'm giving you shit, but yea you need to eat more. MUCH more. At least 2000 calories a day, maybe even 2500. Get your 120-180g of protein each day. Get in a shitload of veggies. Cut back on the grains and refined food. Maybe limit dairy as well if it's an irritant. Cut the refined oils (use extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, grass fed butter). Highly simple, and that's all you need to do.
I'm fine on my own, I'm doing okay, I don't know if I'll keep going to the gym, I wanted results fast, I'm barely losing weight, I'm not eating enough, I may hurt my self, and I'll never get a good body anyway...
Bullshit. Getting a good body is highly achievable for any person. If you want to look like a magazine fitness cover model...okay yea that's a stretch, but it doesn't take any crazy dieting, ridiculous training or anything else to add 15lbs of muscle and lean up to the point where you can start to at least see some abs. People like this still look VERY good.
You're also not okay not exercising. If you're not getting vigorous exercise 3-4 times per week, that's horrible for both body and mind. You feel fine, because you're used to it, but you're far below how you should and could feel. Not to mention it's a wonderful way to age yourself and increase risk for diseases.
None of this is a big commitment, you can get excellent health results on 2-3 hours per week, possibly even a bit less.
Online dating as an ugly guy is brutal, you don't even match with ugly girls, but then after the scammers I had a girl wanting to go on a date with me, and that's when I realised I wasn't ready for this.
I have to accept myself first, I have to live on my own and be "me" before I add anyone to the equation, and if I can only get girls I'm not attracted to, then maybe I'm better off alone.
So yeah, I don't know if I'll go back to the gym after the end of the month, there is so much to watch series and streams. And I'll stop online dating right here, it's useless in my case, impossible standards... It's okay, lots of guys are single, does not mean I can't enjoy life.
You're *probably* not "ugly". Genuinely ugly men or women are rare. If you're carrying a ton of extra weight (say at least 50, but probably more like 75-100lbs) yea you might be temporarily ugly. But there is a fix for that as you know. Get in shape, and it will massively lean out your face, which is a HUGE boost to looks. Combine that improved, leaner face with a marginally better than average body and you're easily into the top 10-20% of the dating market.
I'll focus on my own growth, and have a body I can live with, or stop the gym and accept that I'll always be flabby at best, and fat at worst... no big deal, accepting defeat is easier than maintaining a perfect body my whole life, a body that I'll probably never achieve given how easy I put fat on.
This is a terrible mindset. No one maintains a "perfect body" their entire life, unless they are an elite athlete, it's their job, they grew up with an immaculate diet, or it's an obsession. People with 6 pack lean bodies for 10 or 20 consecutive years are incredibly rare, well below 1%.
However, maintain an attractive, fit body is easy to do. You need maybe 6-12 months of good work in the gym, drop the fat, and then you're good. Sure, you might go through a stressful time and gain 10, 20, maybe even 30 lbs. Guess what? You'll still look decent and athletic if you gained that weight from a nice lean base.
Also, I put on fat like crazy. I look at an MnM and gain 5lbs. I struggle pretty hard with binge eating junk food, and have a general sugar addiction/craving that I battle every day. I've never had a "perfect" body. I've been close to six pack lean a few times, but never there. That said, I'v always look better than at least 3/4 of people body wise. I spent a year in the gym and put on about 10-15lbs of muscle. I don't look big in clothes, but it's enough to have an athletic silhouette. Right now I'm almost 30lbs over my leanest weight, and I still look fairly good. You can see a hint of gut, but I generally have an athletic shape and get some compliments on how I look.
It's VERY hard to have a perfect, six pack lean body except for the rare genetic or psychological anomaly. It's VERY EASY to have a decent looking, non flabby, athletic body. It' also, as I said above, way way healthier for you.
Is it really worth it to not put in a mere 2 hours a week of training and eat a few more vegetables and a little less junk food to feel significantly better and transform yourself from unattractive to fairly or highly attractive? If you ask me it's a small commitment for a very large payoff.
I'll just quickly drop by and give this +1. Good advice.
OK most previous comments already cover the dieting part so I'll focus on another part that I felt was important. A few years ago, I feel like I was in a similar position to you: desperately trying to get a gf. I was forcing myself to go to clubs (which I didn't really like), tried several online dating sites/apps and met girls I had nothing in common with and that I wasn't attracted to, etc.
After 2 years of that, I finally took the big step you're talking about: "fuck all this shit, being alone is OK, so let me focus on myself first". And all I want to say is that there's actually nothing wrong with that, on the contrary. I felt so much better once I gave up on all those expectations (being in a couple for example) that I felt were forced onto me by my environment (friends, family, but also TV shows, internet, etc). And once I left all those behind me, I could finally work on what I wanted: getting my priorities straight. Is improving your body what you wanted or something you felt like you had to do because of social pressure ? If you end up deciding that it's something that you really want, you'll find a way to improve your physical condition that works for you even if it's not going to the gym. + Show Spoiler +
It took me a few months of being alone, but I ended up picking up new hobbies (paragliding and hiking), changing careers, and I ended up finding myself a sweet girl who I've been with for 4 years now.
It won't always be easy being alone, there are times when you really feel that the world isn't made for loners (I remember that it felt really weird going to the movies alone for example). But in the end, taking time for yourself to figure out what you want is, IMHO, the best step you can take. Keep going ! My only advice would be to try stuff out. Really get out of your comfort zone and try lots of different stuff. Chances are, you'll dislike most of it, but you mind stumble upon something that you just click with. You tried the gym, good ! If it doesn't work for you, that's too bad, but at least you tried ! So keep trying, keep exploring. And never forget: it's OK being alone to sort out your thoughts. Never let anyone tell yourself differently.
If you want a good hobby that would also help with mild exercise I would recommend drumming. Not only a drummers the rarest band members so you'll always find a band to be in, but the more you practice, the better you get and the more exercise you are doing (like I said its mild exercise but if I play hard for 20 minute my breathing is heavy and my heart rate is fast). Also the ladies love it if you're in a band.
Had a friend who did starvation diet plus Gym. Passed out on a treadmill, twisted an ankle, put weight back on after lying in bed injured for a few weeks.
On June 22 2019 14:28 L_Master wrote: These people that make a blog for comments/thoughts/suggestions then disappear are the worst.
When you're just starting, the task ahead appears brutally hard and hopeless. It's so much easier to give up and rationalize your position #foreveralone. Some people never turn themselves around and they die from a heart attack at 55.
I hope this guy does come back. The thread gave some good advice, but he needs to choose to change. No matter how much he feels like his body is irredeemable, he can take comfort in the fact that his body cannot violate the laws of thermodynamics anymore than anybody else can. If he takes in less energy than he uses, he will lose fat cells. Guaranteed, or you break physics and win a Nobel Prize. Win-win, either way.
IF you want to loose weight, you have to do cardio. Thats the way to burn your fat effectively in the long run. I highly recommend cycling to you. But do it in the nature, not in the gym! And always eat enough and healthy (the right mix between Fats, carbohydrates, proteines and vitamins, also drink A LOT of water, because you will be sweating a lot when doing cardio) This way you build up stamina und you can train harder and for longer periods of time. After 1-2 months you can start to eat a little bit less, so when your training, your body will start burning your fat deposits very fast. Always stop eating when you feel full. Avoid artificial sugars. Eat raw vegetables, Fruits, if you still have appetite. But the most important thing to give your Body enough time to build up stamina, before you start loosing weight.
On June 22 2019 18:49 winlessplayer wrote: I'll start eating more.
Everyone , mentioned your weight.. and how to improve... no one is talking about whats actually wrong here.. your body isnt a deal breaker for most girl,it is for the wrong ones , so you don't want them in your life anyway.. you wanna talk to girls? go to the club start dancing by yourself ... you'd be surprised who will come up to you.
Second , i can smell the desperation from here bro.. if i can smell it.. the "real girls" will know it .. girls want a guy who are established, who don't need them to "clean up" after them,
Third , Be a god damn man. go talk to girls, they dont know what they want, what kind of guys they want, take risks , youll be old one day.. dont be regretful!
Dont even worry about working out.. just eat healthy
I'm quite happy tonight, realising that I can live on my own without needing anyone, and that life is quite fine as it is.
I don't need to go talking to anyone.
Healthy eating isn't cutting it, I need to exercise, thank you.
I'm fixing myself two new deadlines, first, in one year and a half I'll assess my situation, second, in three years and a half, I need to have my shit together.
By age 28, maybe I'll try dating again, in the meantime I'll have relapse of online dating and cold approaching girl here and there, but that will be bound to be a disaster.
By 30, if I don't have my shit together I don't know what I'll do, if I have my shit together I'll try to finally find a girlfriend.
I didn't "come back" because I was thinking of something else, I wasn't really asking for advice, and reading some of them here, people didn't read it all or are just delusional.
Regarding many aspects of my life, literally and figuratively I'm a "short guy" and short guys, they have to work twice as hard, just talking to random isn't going to do shit, just eating healthy is clearly not working, just "being" me, well "me" isn't good enough for now, and I don't dance so this nightclub thing is a no go.
I'm going to be on my own for some times, I have been single my whole life so this is not a big change, and if I work hard on myself I'll come out in better shape, physically and mentally. It still won't be enough, but at least it'll be better thanright now, right now I'm not only "not enough", I'm off a negative value.
One month isn't enough. Just stick at you will see results. Right now you're getting healthy by eating right exercising. The weight will come off as well you just got to stick with it. Be persistent and consistent.
Also, I can't speak for you but I notice a difference after only a few days of eating less and really healthy, just in the way I feel even though there is no visible physical difference. It's so much better than eating bad and feeling like shit, even if you feel bored. Food only cures the boredom for the 5 or 10 minutes you are eating.
I'm quite happy tonight, realising that I can live on my own without needing anyone, and that life is quite fine as it is.
I don't need to go talking to anyone.
Healthy eating isn't cutting it, I need to exercise, thank you.
I'm fixing myself two new deadlines, first, in one year and a half I'll assess my situation, second, in three years and a half, I need to have my shit together.
By age 28, maybe I'll try dating again, in the meantime I'll have relapse of online dating and cold approaching girl here and there, but that will be bound to be a disaster.
By 30, if I don't have my shit together I don't know what I'll do, if I have my shit together I'll try to finally find a girlfriend.
I didn't "come back" because I was thinking of something else, I wasn't really asking for advice, and reading some of them here, people didn't read it all or are just delusional.
Regarding many aspects of my life, literally and figuratively I'm a "short guy" and short guys, they have to work twice as hard, just talking to random isn't going to do shit, just eating healthy is clearly not working, just "being" me, well "me" isn't good enough for now, and I don't dance so this nightclub thing is a no go.
I'm going to be on my own for some times, I have been single my whole life so this is not a big change, and if I work hard on myself I'll come out in better shape, physically and mentally. It still won't be enough, but at least it'll be better thanright now, right now I'm not only "not enough", I'm off a negative value.
How short? I'm 5'7" and it's never slowed me down at all. I have a couple guys 5'4" on my cycling team and they do fine as well. Guys make height out to be a big deal, but it really isn't. It's one factor of many, but how you look face/body and your social skills are significantly more important.
Moreover, online height doesnt exist. If you're tall it's good to advertise it. If you're like me, you just dont list height.
Dating is all about looks + social skills. Online it's like 90% about looks. If you want to do online, you NEED good pictures. Either learn how to take them, or get them professionally. Online without good pictures is, as you found, a waste of time.
In person, you're right. If you have an average face, shorter end, and sitting with decent extra weight you're behind the curve. Youd need a great, outgoing, fun personality to attract girls youd actually be interested in. This can be developed, but like everything requires practice.
Most importantly, you are NOT eating healthy. 900 kcal a day is exceptionally unhealthy. That is why it didn't do anything and you saw no results.
You are correct you should exercise though. With you goals, and to make low investment, I would shoot for 2 strength sessions of 45' to 60' each week. Compound lifts as the focus: deadlift, bench, squat, overhead press. For aerobic, after each gym session jog/bike EASY (HR less than 130-140) for 20-30'. Once a week do a hard session of 4x8' intervals at a solid intensity. These should be hard, but not all out.
Do the above, along with a healthy diet of 2000-2500 kcal/day and you'll be amazed at the results in 2-3 months.
EPT
