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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On March 26 2007 10:43 Ethenielle wrote:Show nested quote +On March 26 2007 10:12 Liquid`Drone wrote:
you're a smart guy
something will come around
finish highschool, start university in a different city. then make right every decision you feel you have made wrong. come to trondheim or whatever, no matter how socially inept you are you'll find someone with similar interests as yourself because we have student groups who engage in every thinkable activity.
you need to move though, and then you need to make an effort. staying in the same environment will only be harmful, but through moving and starting university in a different city you can literally get a fresh start. assuming you don't live in trondheim, trondheim is a great place to start over. =P
and if you do live in trondheim then pm me! I've actually thought about going to trondheim next year, but my grades aren't good enough. The fresh start thing though, I don't think that's what will help me. I've tried doing fresh starts a few times and it haven't worked so far. Maybe I'll try one more time.. I really can't decide. Oh and rpf.. I'll talk to a counselor before I attempt suicide. I've talked with my parents about it already. I don't know, talking with them doesn't help. They don't understand what I'm feeling and just keep saying you'll get through it.
If you are too pussy to 'try one more time' <--WOW SO HARD, how the fuck you gunna jump infront of a train. LOL
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Although I think the words "get over it" are a little harsh to be said to someone feeling this way, in all reality they have truth. Life can become hard sometimes but that certainly doesn't warrant giving up. You say that you have been stepped on and picked on your entire life, I hear what doesn't kill me (and yes I realize that this is a possibility, but please rethink it) makes me stronger.
To say that no one loves you is a complete understate. You keep saying yes my parents and then almost brushing it off that they are just your parents. I cannot tell you how much you should cherish the fact that they do care about you so much.
I have never been to the point of suicide but I have been extremely depressed before. My dad walked out on my family when I was 10 yrs old and there was only my mom left to take care of us. She had pretty much never worked more than a few part time jobs her entire life, and now she had to take on the full commitment of taking care of three kids by herself. My mom means more to me than anything. Even if the rest of the world is looking down at me and doubting me, my mom will always be in my corner to back me up. And it sounds like your mom is the same way.
So do not take the for granted. Embrace your parents love and find strength in them. At 19 years old you have so much more life to live. Dating is an experiment to truly finding the person who is right for you. So what your last relationship didn't work out, you had one! As many people have said, there are people who are 19 who have never even experienced what it is like to have a girlfriend. You are a lucky one.
Basically, take your time to feel depressed, but do not let it consume you. Pick yourself back up and move on. Things will get better, and if they don't you can face them and then move on. You are not on a downward slope falling down. You are merely beginning the ride of your life, so do not get off yet.
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oneofthem: I will start my studies soon, not that I'm really looking forward to it, just I couldn't think of something better to do. I just figured life is quite enjoyable even when it looks shitty, and I also figured it's bound to get better sooner or later, I'm just gonna be patient. Because good things always happen when you least expect them.
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On March 26 2007 10:17 Vi)Chris wrote:
Not to be mean but if you're looking for a reason to live you should seek professional help, the answers you seek will not come from an internet forum. If you're afraid they'll throw you in a padded cell... don't. Seek out a psychologist if you have no one close to talk to.
It sounds like this is the first time you have experienced heartbreak, many of us have been there and it sucks. It will pass with time, trust me. You do not feel 1000x worse than anyone else's worst moment. Your heartbreak is honestly minimal compared to a married person who was just cheated on, or a wife who had her husband and children killed in a car crash, or parents who have lost a child. Put your problems in perspective and change your way of thinking.
But advice on this forum will not be strong enough to help you. Do yourself and others a favor and seek REAL-LIFE professional help. Life can get better. If you were happy with a girlfriend you will find a new one.
Or you can kill yourself and become a suicide statistic and prove to everyone that you didn't have the heart to pull though. Unless you're an orphan in a 3rd world country who is anally raped by a guy with aids everyday and can't find food to eat, then don't kill yourself.
I have a damn fine life all taken into consideration yeah, I do. I have never been anally raped nor had a shortage of food, but that's beside my current problem which is inside my head, not in my body. It's not only the heartbreak that's crushing me now, it's my entire damned life that's coming down onto me. It's all been so shit up till now, and my girlfriend breaking up just toppled the mountain and set things rolling. I'll get real life help - maybe it helps. I posted here because, as I said, right now I have nowhere to go, and I really need an answer.
And Rekrul you're right, the first half of your post is my life story sort of. My (second actually. the first one didn't last very long, in fact it stopped when I got acne.) relationship ending is of course natural and I know it. I could have lived with it, gotten over it and all. But the other things.. they're still burning inside me. And the one thing I didn't need right now was losing my girlfriend.
And yes, for me it's hard to start over again. Been denied too many times already. Yes I may do it, I haven't decided whether to kill myself or not yet, but another unsuccessful "fresh start" will surely kill me. Also, what you said about organs, I actually took that seriously though you may have meant it as a joke. I don't know any other way to kill myself swiftly and without pain while still persevering my body. That's why.
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Ethenielle
Most of us have been in a depression, some deeper then the other. I was really really sad during a time when my gf broke up with me quite understandable. Well I thougt to myself if it´s going to feel this way FOREVER what point would it be living this shitty life? Well guess what, it feels like it last for eternity but it doesn´t. Sometimes you can get over it by yourself but most of the time you just need a little bit of help. You don´t want to throw away something that you have been given for a reason, you just have to find what you supposed to do with it. It may take a while, mb a week or a year or even a lifetime.
Please do not hesitate to get this help from people who can make your life worth living. They are professionals and will give their very best to help you in every way they can, trust me my friend.
Think about those who you care about and the people who cares about you, there are a lot more then you think.
Those people who laugh at you and call you names, it might be hard to ignore them. But if you think about it who cares how you look or if you have acne or whatever, in the end it only matters who you are inside. It´s a cliché I know, but if you are willing to stay you well see.
TRUST ME
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Man this same kinda shit happens to alot of people in this age group.
I'm your age and I'd say I've experienced something similar, I lived in a stupid little tiny town, had a shitty job, the friends I did have went to college on their parents dime and I stayed there for like a year after they left, I was living with my mom for awhile with her latest husband and before I was even out of Highschool (like 3 months before grad.) I moved the fuck out. because this asshole was domestically violent, 3 straight years, he called my mom a slut and a whore just because she was a bartender at a lodge in town and he thought she was sleeping around, even though the kid she did have during this time WAS infact because of him, He also would randomly call my sister a bitch all the time ( she was like 14-15 at this time) and I finally decided fuck this bullshit.
I lived on my own in an apartment while working at a department store, and got sick of that, so I moved out of state.
I'm in oregon now and things are better, I'm working in an entry-level computer position, working towards getting certificates, and filling out financial aid to go to school next fall. (I dont have any friends here either)
Look man, you don't really need anyone but yourself. just keep on trying because in the end you'll look back at all of this and realize it was all worth it, just keep on moving forward, forward and stop doubting yourself, stop saying you CAN'T do something... I fucking hate that word. You can do anything you fucking want to do.
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What should I do?
Don't take the easy way out. You only live life once, so make something out of it.
What's the RIGHT thing?
Don't do it. Live on.
Is it very selfish to kill myself when I feel this pain all day and all night?
Yes, you'll end up hurting your parents and that's not something you wanna do. Imagine yourself in their position. If your son killed himself, you would probably be thinking, "What a horrible job I did as a parent."
Do you think my parents will get over it?
Don't even think that far.
Can my suicide be morally defended?
Perhaps in a situation where the person is already dying/on the verge of death and there is no point in letting that person suffer his/her last breath. Ie..someone is being burned alive, but you shoot him in the head to shorten his death (quick example but you get the point).
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by the way why do you keep saying
"Im not like you, I can't try again, I can't do this and that, I'm not ready to change my life"
etc
If there was no hope in the first place, why make the thread? So that when you kill yourself we feel bad for you? As if it wasn't enough to make your parents suffer?
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On March 26 2007 10:29 Vi)Chris wrote:
This post intrigues me for some reason. Statistically this "cry-for-help" is actually just for attention or to make himself feel better, but there is a chance he is serious and some people actually do go through with suicides after asking others about it. Most people who are serious don't talk about it though. I guess you need to treat every situation as dire though.
It's a cry for help in the sense that I don't know what to do. If everybody on the forum told me that yes, your mother will get over it in a few months or a couple of years then I would jump on my bike and die. "He" is that serious. He has attempted suicide before by trying to saw his hand off, but his mother stopped him before he died. Right now he has it so bad he doesn't know what to do, but he's trying to find an answer on the internet forum he's been reading for a couple of years.
On March 26 2007 10:42 mahnini wrote:
I honestly don't think you are depressed at all, at least not clinically depressed, you're just mopy and sad that your girlfriend dumped you and now you're bringing up all the things that went bad in life for you so you can feel sorry for yourself.
That's an interpretation I actually guessed would come sooner or later, but to clarify again: I've been having shit since first school. I have attempted suicide a few years back, so it was bad back then, too.
On March 26 2007 11:06 Hollow wrote:
by the way why do you keep saying
"Im not like you, I can't try again, I can't do this and that, I'm not ready to change my life"
etc
If there was no hope in the first place, why make the thread? So that when you kill yourself we feel bad for you? As if it wasn't enough to make your parents suffer?
No, what I'm wondering is if I could do it or if I couldn't because of my parents. I know what pain they will endure, but I don't know if that pain is more than what pain I'm currently experiencing and therefore which solution is the best for this familiy. For me it's suicide, for my parents it's me living. It's a dilemma I can't find a solution to, hence my first post. No one here even knows me and no one would know if I died tomorrow, so this really isn't just for attention or anything, honestly.
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On March 26 2007 09:50 MYM.Testie wrote:
Surely you can get a job and improve the look of your face. Even ugly people get hired.
Surely you can exercise and improve your body if that is also a problem.
Healthy habits help your life big time.
I hope you realize he doesn't feel this way because of his looks, but rather his lack of meaning in this life, and positive things that could enhance his day.
Jeg vet at du kanskje ikke kommer til å bry deg om dette, men vi føler oss alle ensomme en gang i blant (eller oftere), og noen ganger kan det bli for mye. Jeg har selv opplevd at alt virket svart og meningsløst. Men nå er ting lysere for meg, akkurat som det kan bli for deg i fremtiden. Men det er nettopp dette vi ikke kan vite før vi har opplevd det, ja nettopp fremtiden. Ingen vet hva den vil bringe, og ingen vet hva som kan komme til å skje. Det er derfor jeg lever under "karmaen": "Lev livet som det var det beste som kunne hendt deg. Det du føler, opplever og tenker nå, kan du ikke forandre. Du kan bare forandre det du vil føle, oppleve og tenke i fremtiden, og derfor har du egentlig det fantastisk bra, fordi du ikke kan forandre det som du nettopp opplever i øyeblikkets senter. Det eneste du kan forandre er fremtiden, så ikke dvel med fortiden. Faktisk, ikke dvel med nåtiden heller. Tenk heller på det positive som kan skje med deg i fremtiden".
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I think you need a hobby. Try doing something that will keep off your mind thinking that you are miserable. And once you got a hobby, you'll get to know people with same interests and you'll have a bond that will keep you together.
Try out sports, preferably team sports. That way you'll not only get to meet new people, you'll learn to socialize with them a little.
Also kid you're still, as Rekrul put it, "dumb as fuck". Go try learning about different things. Different cultures, religions, maybe psychology etc. Try to understand a little how other people deal with their life, with different stuff. Maybe you'll learn something that will make you feel better. (And if not you'll still be more knowledgeable which comes in handy when you try to "socialize" with other people...)
And how can you put all your hopes on 1 girl? She probably didn't understand you and most likely didn't know jackshit about you. You'll "go through" dozens of girls before you'll find the one right for you.
Also if you didn't notice: while we are just strangers to you, we still "care" enough to try to offer some advice. So as you can see not everyone's like the people you've met in your town sofar who just ignored you...
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Just got back from class to see how this was going (class...something I suggest you go too!!!!!!).
I notice that you really took a harsh blow from your girlfriend. Ah, love...such a cruel thing. Here is the bottom line: Whenever you give to love someone, you are opening your heart to them...which gives them a ripe and ample opportunity to destroy it. As much as I hate to say it, if you expect to have someone love you and it all be peachy-keen, someone is bound to hurt you again. I've been hurt by people...and I have hurt people. But the world in which we live around revolves around this concept of love...finding someone who you can dedicate yourself too.
What you need to try real hard to do is just keep picking yourself up. I know many people have posted here saying "Stop being a pussy", "be a man", "fucking suck it up", etc...and, to an extent (but not in such harsh language) they are right. Life can be painful. Very, very painful. It's a fact. But that pain is what strengthens people...knowing you can feel pain, knowing that there are times when you are down...only means one thing: That you are, in fact, alive, and that things can certainly (and will) get better. You just have to really motivate yourself to move on, to forget the past pains, and to search for something that can soothe your agony.
You know what I do when I'm stressed? I pick up my fishing pole and stand at a nearby pond for a few hours. Usually I don't catch anything, but the silence and serenty of the pond and the cool breeze from the water allows me to think about life...and how grand it is. Even without friends, family, etc...it is still relaxing...and enjoyable...to just take in the brilliance around you.
Just try to think of it as a growing pain. You hurt now, and you think it won't end, but I assure you if you talk to people, get help, etc....and make it through...it will only make you stronger. Humans are made or broken on things like these...don't let it destroy you. Life is too good to waste being down. I advise you to take a break from these forums, past the multitude of opinions and advices, go somewhere quiet like the park or something, and just relax and think.
Hopefully you will come to the conclusion that life is really worth it, and that the effort it takes to keep on living will pay dividents far more valuable than you could ever imagine.
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Ethan, you can't just go killing yourself because now you're a tl.net personality. You wuss.
That emo guy who asked us about killing himself. Now we can respond to a lot of your future posts with unwitty stuff like, "What's your special mix in a sandwich?"
"RAZOR BLADEZ ZZLOLOL"
Anyway, ;-) Take it lightly and I hope you're enjoying the posts.
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On March 26 2007 10:47 Phyre wrote:
Interesting little thing I've noticed with love, friendship, and relationships in general is that they come to you most often and easily when you don't need them and aren't looking for them. In my experience, people are less inclined to hang out with you, girls are less likely to be attracted to you, etc. when you come off as desperate or needy. I, like many other nerdy socially inept gamers, had a rough social childhood. However, when I came to college I remade myself and started to live just for myself and not worry about others. Then people came to me. I figured I'd never have a girlfriend ever, so I accepted that and moved on. Then my current girlfriend of 3+ years came to me and we've been happy ever since. I stopped looking and then what I was looking for came to me.
I believe these things happen because living for yourself will give you the confidence and independence to draw people to you. Don't worry so much about making people come to you right now. If you can live independently of others and be happy with yourself, others will see your strength. Don't let others dictate your life, take control.
This is so incredibly true but I'm not the kind of person who can live for himself. I need people, I need someone to show I love them and give them stuff, help people with stuff and do things for them. I can't live for myself because I am nothing to live for.
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Norway28492 Posts
On March 26 2007 10:43 Ethenielle wrote:Show nested quote +On March 26 2007 10:12 Liquid`Drone wrote:
you're a smart guy
something will come around
finish highschool, start university in a different city. then make right every decision you feel you have made wrong. come to trondheim or whatever, no matter how socially inept you are you'll find someone with similar interests as yourself because we have student groups who engage in every thinkable activity.
you need to move though, and then you need to make an effort. staying in the same environment will only be harmful, but through moving and starting university in a different city you can literally get a fresh start. assuming you don't live in trondheim, trondheim is a great place to start over. =P
and if you do live in trondheim then pm me! I've actually thought about going to trondheim next year, but my grades aren't good enough. The fresh start thing though, I don't think that's what will help me. I've tried doing fresh starts a few times and it haven't worked so far. Maybe I'll try one more time.. I really can't decide. Oh and rpf.. I'll talk to a counselor before I attempt suicide. I've talked with my parents about it already. I don't know, talking with them doesn't help. They don't understand what I'm feeling and just keep saying you'll get through it.
(norwegian post)
det finnes plenty åpne studier her.. så lenge du har bestått videregående kommer du inn på noen vil jeg anta, dog kanskje ikke det du ønsker å studere.. men sånn som jeg ser det er ikke dette hovedpoenget, du trenger ikke finne ut av hva du ønsker å gjøre med livet ditt iløpet av det neste året eller de neste to-tre årene, du trenger en miljøforandring.
har du ikke bestått må du vel ta opp eksamener som privatist men med tanke på hvor godt du behersker engelsk konkluderer jeg at du er smart nok til å stå på enhver videregående eksamen, det er ikke akkurat vanskelig. jeg tror ganske så bestemt at om en frisk start ikke fungerte så hadde du enten ikke lært av tidligere feil, eller så prøvde du ikke hardt nok. faktum er, selv om folk oppfører seg som drittsekker, hvilket nesten alle gjør grunnet egen usikkerhet, er det alltid en grunn til at folk velger seg en "hakkekylling".
jeg klarer liksom personlig ikke å relatere meg helt til deg, selv om jeg også var "utenfor" i store deler av ungdomsskolen og barneskolen, så har jeg alltid hatt evnen til å bare skyve det unna. jeg vet ikke hvorfor jeg har hatt det, og det virker ikke som noe jeg kan lære bort, men tingen din er også at du har ikke vært i noen miljøer som var modne nok til at du ble akseptert.
for å ta min egen historie ; barneskolen hadde jeg greit med venner under, fordi jeg var veldig god i fotball. hadde det ikke vært for det ville jeg sannsynligvis vært "utenfor", fordi jeg oppførte meg veldig forskjellig fra hva normalen var, og de første 15 årene av ditt liv måles faktisk din suksess ut i fra hvor normal og akseptert du er. jeg ble aldri skikkelig mobbet, men dette skyldtes hovedsaklig at jeg var akseptert av de fleste populære folkene på skolen (fordi jeg hadde vært god i fotball). men samtidig hadde jeg egentlig ingen gode venner, og faktum er, dette var min egen skyld på grunn av min egen oppførsel. (på den tiden var jeg særdeles arrogant og hadde en falsk selvsikkerhet som sannsynligvis var ganske gjennomsiktig. )
jeg startet deretter på en helt ny videregående skole hvor jeg egentlig bare kjente 2 stk før jeg startet, og ingen av de kjente jeg spesielt godt. allikevel ble videregående i starten på mange måter en fortsettelse av ungdomsskolen; jeg hadde bragt videre min egen usikkerhet i fra ungdomsskolen inn i det nye miljøet. det var nok en gang gjennomsiktig, og jeg prøvde å spille klovn / whatever for å få positiv oppmerksomhet, men jeg fikk det ikke. for min del var det heldigvis flere andre i klassen som slet med større sosial inkompetanse enn tilfellet var for min del, så jeg fikk nesten ingen negative kommentarer, men følte alltid at min tilstedeværelse var rimelig ubetydelig (og jeg hadde noe sånt som 50 fraværsdager det første året. )
for meg var det faktisk, og ikke ta det som et råd, utrolig nok narkotika som fikk meg OPP av denne tilstanden. tror ikke det ville funka for så veldig mange andre, men jeg begynte å røyke hasj og faktisk gjorde det at jeg ble kjent med alle de mest populære guttene på skolen igjen, og fikk både påskudd til å henge med dem og indikasjoner på at de ønsket at jeg skulle henge med dem. dette ble katalysatoren for den beste perioden av mitt liv, og de siste to årene av videregående skolen min var en gjennomgående drøm, fordi jeg hadde aldri vært borti enkle gleder som at når jeg kom tilbake etter å ha vært syk eller bare ha skulket brydde liksom plutselig folk om meg, og jeg ble kul.
fram til jeg var 16-17 innså jeg hverken at folk ikke nødvendigvis likte meg (dog det var åpenbart), jeg viste aldri tegn til at jeg brydde meg om at de ikke likte meg (dog jeg brydde meg), og jeg forstod aldri hvorfor de ikke likte meg.
faktum er at folk på ungdomsskolen og videregående trenger faen knapt noe påskudd for å ikke like deg. uttaler du en bokstav feil kan du være dømt til å gå igjennom de første 18 årene av livet ditt som mobbeoffer. er man stygg, likeså, eller om man har på seg feil klær.
det du må innse er at den neste gangen du starter på nytt, så lenge du starter på universitetet er ; de folkene du nå blir nødt til å ha kontakt med er så jævlig mye mer oppegående enn de personene du tidligere var nødt til å ha kontakt med. man blir faktisk voksne. reflekter over deg selv og hvordan du framstår for andre: og endre de tingene du føler er genuine årsaker til at folk ikke liker / bryr seg om deg. problemet er at de personene som tidligere dømte deg basert på overfladiske årsaker dømmer deg sannsynligvis fortsatt basert på sine tidligere inntrykk av deg, inntrykk de fikk i en umoden periode av sine egne liv. starter du på nytt, nå, blir det helt forskjellig; folk leter ikke lenger etter en grunn til å hakke ned på deg. jeg antar du har reelle problemer med selvtillit, og disse må du etterhvert komme over. men ingen oppegående voksen person kommer til å disse deg basert på hvordan du snakker, ser ut, klær deg, beveger deg, whatever. ikke vær redd for disse tingene, og du vil finne ut at det er jævlig mye lettere å få gode venner som bryr seg.
men du trenger sannsynligvis en miljøforandring. et øyeblikk som for meg var en enorm glede var når jeg møtte den personen som på hele videregående skolen min var minst sosialt kompetent. vi mobbet han i grunnen hele gjengen, meg inkludert, dog det var aldri med intensjonen om å gjøre han lei seg så hadde det utvilsomt den virkningen. men når jeg møtte han sist høst hadde han fått seg dame og venner, og ettersom jeg hadde blitt mer voksen og reflektert over mine tidligere handlinger må jeg si det gjorde meg utrolig happy.
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Yeah...I totally understood that...rock on???....
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Tien, thanks a bunch for your offer, I may take up on it in a few days if I still live. Right now I'm too unstable to have a proper conversation since my voice just suddenly breaks down and I start crying. I can type, though [/QUOTE]
Man, u've a great sense of humor!
And some1 here obviously can't qoute...
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On March 26 2007 11:19 Flaccid wrote:
pics plz~
god, you deserve to be banned from life for that awful post.
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On March 26 2007 11:16 Ethenielle wrote:Show nested quote +On March 26 2007 10:47 Phyre wrote:
Interesting little thing I've noticed with love, friendship, and relationships in general is that they come to you most often and easily when you don't need them and aren't looking for them. In my experience, people are less inclined to hang out with you, girls are less likely to be attracted to you, etc. when you come off as desperate or needy. I, like many other nerdy socially inept gamers, had a rough social childhood. However, when I came to college I remade myself and started to live just for myself and not worry about others. Then people came to me. I figured I'd never have a girlfriend ever, so I accepted that and moved on. Then my current girlfriend of 3+ years came to me and we've been happy ever since. I stopped looking and then what I was looking for came to me.
I believe these things happen because living for yourself will give you the confidence and independence to draw people to you. Don't worry so much about making people come to you right now. If you can live independently of others and be happy with yourself, others will see your strength. Don't let others dictate your life, take control. This is so incredibly true but I'm not the kind of person who can live for himself. I need people, I need someone to show I love them and give them stuff, help people with stuff and do things for them. I can't live for myself because I am nothing to live for.
I thought u had some friends. Are they just people u know or are they your friends. Like someone said, you need good friends not just acquaintances.
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EPT
