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So this is my third "girl blog". I sorta feel like my girl blogs haven't been true girl bogs and I hope this one IS a better one.
The night was young. It started with me hanging out with one of my smoking buddies and their group of friends. One of my friends who tries to pick up girls brought one with him probably with the intent of hooking up later.
I made my presence known. Someone was having trouble remembering her name and I remembered it so I said it and she was pleasantly surprised that I had remembered it and was very friendly towards me and we hit it off. While I was hanging out with this group of people and the girl (literally just a bunch of guys and one girl sausage fest) sitting at an outside table.
I had one problem here. I am a nice person and try to be nice to other people. I knew that my friend wanted to try to hook up with the girl but I felt like she wasn't going to do anything with him so I sorta just "took over" instead.
After I made this decision, I wanted to get her number so I would be able to keep in touch throughout the night as it was only 9:30 in the evening. I pretty much new I could get her number whenever I asked her, but I waited because I didn't want to ask in front of my friend that brought her coz I'm a nice guy. When some other people came and he was talking to them, I just gave her my phone with the new contact opened and she filled it out silently. Discretion is key!
So I text her later this night at about 11:30 to see if she wanted to smoke some weed because there was some freed weed going around there. I got the convo here coz I know text messages are always fun to read :o
Me: Hey Stranger Her: Heyy Me: Whats going on? Her: Not much! Hbu? Me: Do you like to smoke weed? Her: Yea!! Me: Come to the quad (place where I am) Her: Nahhhh not right now! Me: Haha stubborn!
Last text was at 11:56 PM. The next time I checked back with her was 1:38 AM
Me:Still wanna chill tonight? Her: I'm in bed haha Me: We should share a bed Her: That's okay I'm comfy lol Me: I could make you more comfy.....I have 2 pillows Her: Haha that's ok! Me: Ok have a good, comfortable night in your bed with ONE pillow haha Her: Hahaha thank you! You too
She is definitely showing interest and with the number success and the vibe I am getting from the texts, I am going to follow this and see where it leads to by probin around a bit more so there will probably be a blog about the results of the initial meeting tonight....
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Right after Yom Kippur, too.
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doesnt seem like a good vibe from texts to be honest lol
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What? Thats her showing interest?
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dude can you get any more creepier
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this is called a good vibe???
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I guess the problem here is that text messages can be taken out of context. Maybe you weren't creepy and she wasn't avoiding you. + Show Spoiler +Just kidding, she is avoiding you because you're creepy
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rofl, I can almost touch the creepy and the awkward in this blog. love it, keep it coming. i hope you never reach the 2 stars.
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wow.....
well....at least you are putting yourself out there
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Let's do a line by line analysis
Me:Still wanna chill tonight? Her: I'm in bed haha
Here, she's trying to be polite. Because her excuse also refers to the time (e.g. its her bedtime) it means that she finds you texting her at 1:38 AM to be a little rude/wierd
Me: We should share a bed Her: That's okay I'm comfy lol
Okay you just took her excuse and... did the worst thing possible
Me: I could make you more comfy.....I have 2 pillows Her: Haha that's ok!
She's still trying to be polite
Me: Ok have a good, comfortable night in your bed with ONE pillow haha Her: Hahaha thank you! You too
Still trying to be polite
This is how it should have gone:
You ask her if she wants to smoke, she says no So at 1:38 AM you text her this
You: Man this shit is amazing, we're getting so blazed right now Her: I'm sleeping You: That's cool, I'll text you next time
Instead of
You: Hey wanna come over and hang out Her: No You: My bed is comfy Her: NO... EWWWW
Why write this?
- You give her two reasons to come over to your place (meet more people, possibly of the opposite gender from her AND good weed) without actually asking her to come over
- You also implicitly tell her that you're not afraid to meet her in the presence of other guys--you're confident enough not to have to monopolize her time during the moments you guys hang out
- She probably is tired/sleepy anyhow so she won't come over and call your bluff
- She'll feel like she owes you one for turning you down, so that next time when you do get some product or have any excuse to call her over, you have a better chance of success
- You enter her head as a nice guy trying to offer her the chance to meet new people and smoke good weed instead of a creepy guy trying to pick chicks up via SMS at 1:40 AM
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Basically you never ever want to go into any party feeling like you have to get laid that very night. You won't get laid that way. Play the long game.
Give her all the reasons in the world to want to trap you in the basement of the library and give you head without ever asking her to do anything or even spend time with you.
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On September 29 2012 16:19 StateofReverie wrote: So this is my third "girl blog". I sorta feel like my girl blogs haven't been true girl bogs and I hope this one IS a better one.
The night was young. It started with me hanging out with one of my smoking buddies and their group of friends. One of my friends who tries to pick up girls brought one with him probably with the intent of hooking up later.
I made my presence known. Someone was having trouble remembering her name and I remembered it so I said it and she was pleasantly surprised that I had remembered it and was very friendly towards me and we hit it off. While I was hanging out with this group of people and the girl (literally just a bunch of guys and one girl sausage fest) sitting at an outside table.
I had one problem here. I am a nice person and try to be nice to other people. I knew that my friend wanted to try to hook up with the girl but I felt like she wasn't going to do anything with him so I sorta just "took over" instead.
After I made this decision, I wanted to get her number so I would be able to keep in touch throughout the night as it was only 9:30 in the evening. I pretty much new I could get her number whenever I asked her, but I waited because I didn't want to ask in front of my friend that brought her coz I'm a nice guy. When some other people came and he was talking to them, I just gave her my phone with the new contact opened and she filled it out silently. Discretion is key!
No you're not a nice guy. Get over yourself. You want to give the impression of being a nice guy, but in reality you're just like every other guy; opportunistic and self serving. Its ok, we're all like that at times, but don't hide it under a guise of being a nice guy.
Oh and the nice guy route would either be to leave her to your friend whether he succeeds or not. Or at least ask him if he's cool with you going for it. Depends on your friendship anyway.
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On September 29 2012 16:28 Jerubaal wrote: Right after Yom Kippur, too. sorry but this is the best one liner that I've seen on this site (or any for that matter) in such a long time....
had me laughing for minutes...
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On September 29 2012 17:45 CatNzHat wrote:sorry but this is the best one liner that I've seen on this site (or any for that matter) in such a long time.... had me laughing for minutes...
could someone explain this line to me please? i don't quite get the joke
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Me: Hey Stranger Her: Heyy Mistake #1 Stranger is not a great choice of words, especially because you guys just met once and didn't spend that much time together. It reinforces in her head that you guys are strangers. It's a type of word you use to someone you are close with.
Me: Whats going on? Her: Not much! Hbu? Not really a mistake, but especially when you don't know a girl very well, she's gonna stay defensive. What's going on? or What are you doing? are kind of first few words you need to avoid because she's just gonna give you a generic response like "nothing"
Me: Do you like to smoke weed? Her: Yea!!
Me: Come to the quad (place where I am) Her: Nahhhh not right now! Mistake #2 You don't invite a girl to physically meet you unless you established connection with her by talking to her a lot. She didn't even hestitate to reject you, and she didn't even provide an excuse.
Me: Haha stubborn! Mistake #3 Shows you are clingy and still trying to get her to come. What do you gain from jokingly calling her stubborn? Dont do this
Me:Still wanna chill tonight? Her: I'm in bed haha Mistake #4 Why would you physically invite her to meet you again after you got shut down before you talked to her a bunch more?
Me: We should share a bed Her: That's okay I'm comfy lol Mistake #5 Creepy...and creeppppy. She's already defensive towards you, rejected you, and she now sees that you are trying to sleep with her. Shoulda given up here.
Me: I could make you more comfy.....I have 2 pillows Her: Haha that's ok! Mistake#6 More creepyness. She's politely rejecting you. Why would you say something like this?
Me: Ok have a good, comfortable night in your bed with ONE pillow haha Her: Hahaha thank you! You too
It was not good vibes. It was more like her rejecting you and you not noticing it.
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Ouch, these guys are telling it as it is. Best of luck, but that came across as incredibly awkward, not gonna lie. Also you aren't really a nice guy...you even mentioned in an older blog that you aren't a very nice guy.
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Don't see why you needed to text her 2 hours after you just met her, then text her again 2 hours after she denied you.
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United Kingdom14464 Posts
On September 29 2012 17:48 targ wrote:Show nested quote +On September 29 2012 17:45 CatNzHat wrote:On September 29 2012 16:28 Jerubaal wrote: Right after Yom Kippur, too. sorry but this is the best one liner that I've seen on this site (or any for that matter) in such a long time.... had me laughing for minutes... could someone explain this line to me please? i don't quite get the joke His previous blog Yom Kippur the original comment made me laugh quite a bit ^_^
Also, to the OP, you realise you can't just say your a nice guy, you have to actually be a nice guy, and going after someone you know you friend likes (in an extremely creepy manner btw, that text conversation wasn't good) isn't being a nice guy.
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*waiting on QuanticHawk's post
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Slammed :/
..by all XD
Take the above pieces of advice. You came off as creepy. As a rule always try to put yourself in the girls shoes and how this all feels/looks to her. Not good.
Also "nice guy" or not. Grow some and graduate the 5th grade. NEVER just hand a girl your phone, for her to put in her number
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