And then promptly left.
And then entered again.
And then left.
I must have entered and re-entered through those doors twenty times. In my mind I had pictured going to auditions. Most actors, even famous ones, admit to hating auditions. I figured that if I knew that going in, it would be a lot easier to perform. It wasn't. This wasn't even some grand production. It was just some small time crummy play being performed by other amateur hopefuls. And yet despite all that, I was still as nervous as hell. Eventually I came to the conclusion that if I was serious about this, then I would have to go to this audition, regardless personal feelings. Either I go to this audition, or I stop lying to myself and everyone else about pursuing my dream.
If you enjoy reading the Wheel of Time series, you might remember a warder pose called, "Cat crosses the courtyard". It's a style of walking where your head is rigid and your body is loose. Basically it's arrogance and confidence rolled into one. I strode purposefully through the double doors acting as if I had done this very same thing many times before. *Yawn what a bore*. As I inquired within to the details of this audition, I was caught off guard by the sheer amount of people waiting to perform. There must have been a good fifteen or twenty people sitting down. Some guy gave me some paper work to fill out, and told me it would be about forty-five minutes. The paperwork was all previous experience and training. Of course I had none, but I was still wrapped in my arrogance stance, so I calmly began to pretend to fill out details.
Forty-five minutes later I was called to a second smaller room and given a script. A few minutes later, a girl was ushered into the room, and we were told we had twenty minutes to prepare. We read over the dialogue a few times, and I quickly learned the majority of my lines. Luckily my lines were mostly quips and one liners. Afterwards we both chatted about our previous experiences. She admitted that she was super inexperienced, and that she probably wasn't going to get the part based on her lack of training. I laughed confidently and told her it would all work out.
Then the big moment came, and the same guy came back and told us it was our time. Instantly, my confidence left me. My mouth became dry, and I started to feel flushed. That line from before, what was it? Do I say that line after she says this, or the other thing? We both strode onto a stage and handed our paperwork to the casting directors. Three people who looked as though they have never smiled before in their life.
They look over my scene partner's paperwork.
"Oh I see this is your third year in theatre with us. That's good. Also, you can play the piano, and tap dance, is that correct? It says here that you also took some training from Mr. Something, he's a wonderful teacher I found. Okay, that's all thank you."
Then they look at my paperwork.
"Your paperwork is blank"
"Uh...Yep"
"Did you forget to fill it out"
"Uh....Nope that pretty much covers it"
(Pause) "Okay....well let's get to it then"
So I already know now that I'm screwed. My palms are sweating like crazy and the pages keep getting stuck together. But then they say, "Whenever you're ready", and we just jump into the scene.
And I loved it.
My lines come rushing back to me. As I'm reading my lines, new actions are forming in my head and I waltz up and down the stage proclaiming my piece in the haughty tone I imagine my character using. I was no longer Fumachu, I was a rich businessman angry with my lazy employee and it felt great.
Much too soon, the scene came to close, and once again we were asked to approach the three casting directors. Throughout the entire performance, they barely twitched a muscle. It was impossible to tell what they might be thinking. The same guy from before asked me what I was doing with my life prior to this audition, and when I told him I was studying criminology he sort of chuckled and said, "okay thanks for your time".
And then it was over. I felt so completely drained. The whole experience lasted about an hour and a half, but if felt like I had been in there forever. My scene partner was pretty cheesed though, I thinking she was hoping to do her scene with someone who had more experience. (K)Christine if you're reading this, sorry about that. They told me that if I got a part they would call me so now all I can do is wait. But I sure am glad I did it.