Because, if you can't make fun of yourself, who can?
Wait...that's not right. Everyone can still make fun of you.
Because, if you can't beat 'em, join em.
Huh? Why would they want to let you join if you can't beat them?
Ah, hell. I'll let Yogi say it.
"You can observe a lot just by watching."
Or something like that.
------
PvP on 11/6/11.
2:00 I open with an in base forge and follow that with an in-base photon cannon. The best offense is a good defense?
Ring Around the Rosie while I forge, no-expand.
4:30 My opponent is brilliant, he has a gateway, but is building nothing. Of course, what makes my opponent's strategy truly brilliant is that I don't even have a gateway yet. At four and a half minutes, I have managed to build 2 pylons, a forge and 2.5 photon cannons, all right by my nexus. Apparently, I must have been going for the sooper-sekrit cross map slow cannon rush. At the same time, my opponent decides to expand, still with no units, because, he does not fear the cannons are in my base and guesses it's too late for a probe rush.
3 Cannons, No Gates.
5:18 The first non-probe unit of the game comes out, for my opponent, he now has 1 sentry. He's now prepared just in case I decide to go after him with my 23 probes. Thus now having the military advantage, he decides it's time for a robo. And I decide that it's finally a good time to build two gateways, after building 2 gas geysers at the same time, of course.
One is the lonliest number.
6:30 I start two more gateways despite not building anything in my first two. Ah, it all comes together now, it is a hybrid slow cannon-rush, 4-gate with no cybernetics core! My opponent likewise has his plans start to flesh out. His first gate sits idle while he builds two more and he builds the obvious object of my destruction from his robo, the second non-probe unit, an observer. Good think I have those cannons for when it will finally show up.
The Ultra-Rare, 4 gate, coreless, slow, cross map, cannon rush?
The Observer, that which kills me.
8:45 Since my money is too high, I gotta spend it on something. 2 stalkers supply caps me, so...time for 2 more cannons, gotta spend that money somewhere.
Cannon! Cannon! Cannon! Mushroom! Mushroom!
The breakdown:
Him: 35 probes, 1 observer, 1 immortal, 3 stalkers, 4 sentries + 1 immortal in production.
Me: 32 probes, 4 zeallots + 2 stalkers in production. (Do my 5 cannons + 2 in production count as units?)
My big question is how in the world is there another 10 minutes+ in this game?
10:00 He finish up a robo bay and starts researching extended thermal lance and building Colossi along with building his first photon cannon and two more gateways. I got him on photon cannon count and zeallot count and mineral count! 1260 minerals vs 200 minerals. You never know when a rainy day might occur and you'll need those minerals.
Take my advice, do as I say, save a little money for a rainy day!
11:00 I start researching shields as his first colossus comes out. Obviously I'm gonna win this, I mean, I'm getting shield upgrades for my 4 zeallots and 4 stalkers!
12:00 My opponent has 3 stalkers, 2 immortals and 4 sentries just outside my base about to invade against my 7 zeallots, 4 stalkers and 7 photon cannons! The colossi though had a late start, so they had to wait for them to catch up.
Come on Colossi! Why you gotta be so slow?!
14:00 He sends in his colossi leaving the rest of his units outside of my base. My 3 DTs make short work of the 2 colossi, that apparently were just out of the range of his observer sitting at the entrance to my base. Although, during this he takes a 3rd.
Observer: Missed 'em by this much!
14:30 Emboldended by my success, I send out my DTs to plunder the countryside. This time he moves his observer and my DTs quickly are evaporated. This leaves me with 39 probes, 1 stalker and 7 photon cannons, all on 1 base, vs my opponent's 3 bases and 1700 mineral, 1225 gas army...yah, this game is mine for the taking! And, we apparently have decided there is a contest for who can collect the most resources, I am clearly winning this one as well. I've got 2930 minerals to his 2505. Somehow, amazingly, this game still has 5 mins to go.
Wait, this just worked, why are we dying?!
15:00 Despite DTs dying horribly just 30 seconds earlier, I warp in two more, maybe his detection went somewhere else! They are quickly vaporized by 2 new colossi!
I know this works, try harder DTs!
15:30 The Colossi proceed into my base, where I start throwing DTs at them as fast as I can warp them in, with still the same result. Thus, a start building more cannons! Which are destroyed before they finish warping in.
DT: I don't wanna go, I saw what just happened! Me: Just do it!!!
Hmmm. DTs don't work anymore! Need Mor Cannons!
Hey! I just started those meanie!
17:45 DTs had no success against 2 colossi, maybe zeallots will work against 4 colossi! Unsurprisingly, the results are much the same. Or maybe all my probes!
Quick probes! Go get 'em!
18:56 NEED MOR CANNONS! HALP! And I am now managing to lose the mineral race. He now has 3955 to my 1825.
19:21 GG!
The End!