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my friend invited me to hang out with her while she does a small (10-15 person middle/late-aged people) demonstration outside a club where a rapper is going to be performing later in the evening (the rapper is going to be performing in israel in a few months and the demonstration is anti-israeli abuse). they generally stand around rather quietly trying to hand out leaflets to people who would arrive for the event
1) i arrive with my friend and sit in the car for a while, 2 other girls arrive and start fucking around with some banners or leaflets. there are like the 4 of us in a long dark street next to the club which has open doors but is preparing for the gig later
2) me and my friend need to pee so we go to the club and walk in. people are kinda preparing shit for the concert, idk, not interested.
3) i say to a bar man "where is the toilet?" , he says "over there" and we procede
4) i am peeing in the cubicle coz my trousers are awkward. the cubicle door bangs open (unlocked) and a man is staring at me and starts shouting GET OUT
5) i am like "wtf im having a pee you get out"
6) he is like "im the manager , you shouldnt be in here, get out now!" (shouting)
7) i shout back "i asked at the bar". he keeps shouting get out or whatever
8) i do up my pants and start walking out with him and lsay "you need to chill out mate!"
9) he lsays/shouts back "you need to watch your tongue!"
10) i shout back "or what??" (coz whats he gonna do fucking punch me?) as i continue to very quickly leave the building
11) i continue to walk , fuming at this maniac behaviour, and angry that i have to act in a sheepish way because i wear glasses and if i get hit in the face ill be blinded for life etc etc
12) i think that my friend will be fine because the guy obviously saw me peeing for some time and saw i wasnt doing anythiing wrong/drugs/graffiti/whatever . and she can take care of herself pretty well. and theres no way he was gonna manhandle her
13) i get on a bus and start going home, and text her "im going home". i also thought for some reason (contrary to the above) that she was already out of the bathroom and must have seen me walking past fuming down the empty long street
14) i get a answer msg from her saying the man had picked her up physically and she has called the police and wants me to be there
15) i get off and get a taxi back to the place
16) the police arrive (2 women - one a complete bitch typical admin//policeman) and basically say he done nothing wrong, hes within his rights as a licenced owner to shout and physically remove people from his premisise , and if we want to complain then send a letter to his company / whatever dumb shit.
17) the policewomens chat and laugh with the manager/bouncer man which pisses my friend off even more because she feels violated
18) my friend says he came in and banged on the door and kept shouting at her and shouted he was going to break the door down. she was afraid coz obviously she is a woman and trying to take a pee. she says after she came out he picked her up off the floor as she was walking out to remove her from the premisis
19) my friend was pissed off that the man had the right to assume she was a drug dealer/graffiti protesters/whatever and that he used completely unreasonable behaviour after seeing that i was just taking and pee and to touch her physically etc especially after we had been given permission by a staff member / barstaff to use the toilet in the first place
20) i told her he can do whatever the fuck he likes as a licenced bouncer & property owner etc and we were on his property.
21) the police bitch i think also said that the barstaff didnt have authority to let us use the bathroom if the manager didnt agree with it or some bullshit
22) my friend was pissed off that the policebitch /policewomen completely disregarded how she felt and did not reassure her or anything but instead went and had a chat and were laughing with the bouncer/manager , when she felt victimised and bullied
23) my friend talked on the phone to the police sargent after we later went to the police station to make a complaint (the policebitch said it was pointless etc). the sargent basically said everything id presumed from the getgo (suck it up, they can do what they like, it is reasonable behaviour according to...law? for him to do whatever he likes if he can come up with excuses like "she might have been doing drugs or vandalising the place as part of the anti-israel protest, tho this is BS because it was quite evident that we were not doing anything of the sort by the time he had watched me peeing and prior to ejecting my friend with force even when she was leaving voluntarily and as soon as she could (being shouted at by a bouncer doesnt make you wanna stick around does it)
super SUPER FUCKING tired but thought id put this down here before i sleep 5 hours before work goddamnit
edit: WTF no one told me MLG was 3-day instead of sat/sun!!!! i wouldnt have fuckin taken this work shift if i knew!!!!
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That's quite the story...
MLG has always started on Friday.
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Firstly, you need to calm down when you write. I'm pretty sure a bouncer or manager (didn't quite get who it was) isn't allowed to physically pick up women. I'm fairly certain she can press charges for sexual harassment or abuse or something. I don't fully understand why they would be so angry, the club has an entry fee which you skipped to use the bathroom?
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no presumeably he saw there was gong to be a demonstration of some kind and he thought we had gone in to hide in the toilets and later come out and disrupt the gig somehow, combine that with raging bully club manager/bouncer plus whatever other stress and you have and you end up with shit like this happening in innocent situations with no consequence except a victim feeling violated and something to laugh about with your (his) buddies
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i am calm im so calm im literally in a trance from lack of sleep , i had to write it like that dont you know real men use lists to tell a story
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You would think that it would be illegal for the owner to enter the females washroom and confront someone who is using it. Im sure he has full rights to remove the 2 of you from his establishment, but I highly doubt he is able to enter the female washroom any time he pleases. If I was your friend, I would certainly look into it.
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what i dont get it is this: u met her, both went into the bar (toilet w/e) and then you just took a bus w/o saying goodbye to her in person? why?:O
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So cops and I don't really get along. I just want to lay that out there before I say this.
I don't know where this happens, but in the US...
The owner of the bar was completely within his rights to force you to leave and to physically remove your friend if she refused to leave on her own. He doesn't have to claim he thought you were doing drugs. He doesn't need any excuse at all. It's within his rights to remove you for any reason at any time (other than racial discrimination, etc.).
I'd imagine there's some question about removing you from the bathrooms. If he forced a locked stall open without giving you a reasonable amount of time to get out, you might have something. Beyond that, I don't see anything that looks real bad here. It's a shitty situation (especially since you asked at the bar before using the bathroom), but it doesn't sound like anything illegal happened (even after only hearing your side of the story).
On a side note, if you came to a protest outside my bar against a show I was putting on, I sure as hell wouldn't let you in to use the bathroom.
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When someone does some shit like this to me or someone I care about, I don't write a blog about it to make myself feel a little better. I get even. That doesn't mean you have to stand toe to toe with him to get even... use your imagination. If you have a strong sense of justice like I do, payback is so satisfying. Of course, you have to be willing to accept the possible consequences if you don't get your revenge intelligently.
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On November 19 2011 11:02 TruthIsCold wrote: When someone does some shit like this to me or someone I care about, I don't write a blog about it to make myself feel a little better. I get even. That doesn't mean you have to stand toe to toe with him to get even... use your imagination. If you have a strong sense of justice like I do, payback is so satisfying. Of course, you have to be willing to accept the possible consequences if you don't get your revenge intelligently.
Would you fuck owners wife and give her AIDS? That sounds fairly intelligent.
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On November 19 2011 11:15 discodancer wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2011 11:02 TruthIsCold wrote: When someone does some shit like this to me or someone I care about, I don't write a blog about it to make myself feel a little better. I get even. That doesn't mean you have to stand toe to toe with him to get even... use your imagination. If you have a strong sense of justice like I do, payback is so satisfying. Of course, you have to be willing to accept the possible consequences if you don't get your revenge intelligently. Would you fuck owners wife and give her AIDS? That sounds fairly intelligent. Ummm.... what?
I'm guessing this is a joke of some sort, but for the record: no, giving someone who wasn't involved in the situation at all a deadly disease is not very intelligent, or just. You gotta have standards, like Dexter
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On November 19 2011 09:31 Galaxy77 wrote: Firstly, you need to calm down when you write. I'm pretty sure a bouncer or manager (didn't quite get who it was) isn't allowed to physically pick up women. I'm fairly certain she can press charges for sexual harassment or abuse or something. I don't fully understand why they would be so angry, the club has an entry fee which you skipped to use the bathroom?
On November 19 2011 10:16 eXigent. wrote: You would think that it would be illegal for the owner to enter the females washroom and confront someone who is using it. Im sure he has full rights to remove the 2 of you from his establishment, but I highly doubt he is able to enter the female washroom any time he pleases. If I was your friend, I would certainly look into it.
Oh please. Anyone talking about sexual harassment because a male physically touched another female needs to harden the fuck up.
First of all, what if the male owner is gay? Suddenly it cant be possible he's trying to sexually harass her. Secondly, what if the owner was a straight woman? Does she have the right to enter parts of her own establishment and kick people the fuck out as she pleases?
This is what grinds my gears. Self important people seeking a way to "get back at" someone, and when there's no legal or factual recourse, they try to bring up sexual harassment to screw the person when they were within their rights. Its people like this that make countries so fucked up with sexuality laws. Abuse of said laws makes everyone look bad.
For anyone who says "we didn't know what else to do so we're going to try sexual harassment claims, you're the problem with society.
I always consider gay females to have it so lucky when they get dormed in an all female school or dorm. If anything, its sexist against straight people, because they get to be around other humans they are completely unattracted to, while gay people get free eye candy shows. Hell, one of my gay female friends is telling me all about how she gets to massage her roomates and she even saw one making a sexy underwear video for her bf back home. Straighties get screwed all the time by sexuality laws and rules. And the reason is people like you, making incorrect claims because you want to abuse a system to get back at someone. Either do it illegally in a way that brings no ills or trouble on other people, or get over it.
Everyone harden the fuck up.
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On November 19 2011 10:34 tenacity wrote: what i dont get it is this: u met her, both went into the bar (toilet w/e) and then you just took a bus w/o saying goodbye to her in person? why?:O
ddelirious w fatigue + delirious w rage. one thing i knew for sure was i had to get the fuck out of there or something bad would happen (violence). i knew she could take care of herself and it wasnt till she called and said he'd handled her that i decided to come back.
of course they can do what the fuck they like woman or not , but it was not reasonable (we were not refusing to leave in any fashion)
i dont know about this revenge/payback shit, the best thing is to probably go some time during the day and try to talk to him about it , maybe he will think differently in future incidents , or maybe he will rage again and this time get some buddies to stalk me, who knows what people with power will do. ive no idea what "intelligent payback" is unless you mean a bomb scare or something random like that *shrugs*
btw it is not "self important people" when you have been victimised and abused and bullied by some money-munching macho asshole. yes gay females are so lucky in an all-female school, i dont know what the fuck you are talking about now lol, i guess you are just ranting
i agree cops are fucking weird people , one of them seemed okay, probably got stuck in the job carried along by the powerful personalities that surround her, but the other was just a typical ego-maniac bitch who would love to see you doing 10 years for looking at her in the wrong way. just cant comprehend why anyone would take that job and enjoy it unless they are evil. i guess you could say that about a lot of jobs really - working in a bar is selling poison , working in the army is selling murder , etc
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No one did anything wrong at all, dunno why you're bitching. Management can bounce you at any time and that doesnt mean when you want to go
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On November 19 2011 12:13 FFGenerations wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2011 10:34 tenacity wrote: what i dont get it is this: u met her, both went into the bar (toilet w/e) and then you just took a bus w/o saying goodbye to her in person? why?:O ddelirious w fatigue + delirious w rage. one thing i knew for sure was i had to get the fuck out of there or something bad would happen (violence). i knew she could take care of herself and it wasnt till she called and said he'd handled her that i decided to come back. of course they can do what the fuck they like woman or not , but it was not reasonable (we were not refusing to leave in any fashion) i dont know about this revenge/payback shit, the best thing is to probably go some time during the day and try to talk to him about it , maybe he will think differently in future incidents , or maybe he will rage again and this time get some buddies to stalk me, who knows what people with power will do. ive no idea what "intelligent payback" is unless you mean a bomb scare or something random like that *shrugs* btw it is not "self important people" when you have been victimised and abused and bullied by some money-munching macho asshole. yes gay females are so lucky in an all-female school, i dont know what the fuck you are talking about now lol, i guess you are just ranting i agree cops are fucking weird people , one of them seemed okay, probably got stuck in the job carried along by the powerful personalities that surround her, but the other was just a typical ego-maniac bitch who would love to see you doing 10 years for looking at her in the wrong way. just cant comprehend why anyone would take that job and enjoy it unless they are evil. i guess you could say that about a lot of jobs really - working in a bar is selling poison , working in the army is selling murder , etc
In what way were you victimized? Abused?
See, here's the thing. If you came here, told the story, and simply called the bar owner an asshole, everyone would be on your side. He sounds like a total dick.
Instead, you're acting like something terrible and traumatic happened to you. You're trying to make it a bigger deal than it is. "Self-important" is probably the most accurate and concise way I can think to explain it. Take a step outside your own perspective for a second and think about it. I can think of plenty of reasons the owner would want you out of his bar, and it's his right to remove you, with force if necessary.
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The OP's behavior does nothing at all to make me think the owner is less of a dick. When someone gets pushed around, they can sometimes get a little emotional about it, so I'm not gonna criticize the OP for it.
And I have never in my life given a damn about what is LEGALLY right. All I care about is what is morally and socially right, and using violence or aggression as a first resort to get someone out of your business, instead of first just asking them to leave, is a real dick move.
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okay well maybe if your kind and gentle mother was screamed at by a violent maniac bashing on her toilet door then picked up and carried out of the building that she was innocently in and all too ready to leave, just because she might have been a criminal from someone elses perspective, maybe that is not considered abusive behaviour to you , after all i suppose in your country you can shoot someone dead if they step into your own precious little box
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On November 19 2011 12:58 FFGenerations wrote: okay well maybe if your kind and gentle mother was screamed at by a violent maniac bashing on her toilet door then picked up and carried out of the building that she was innocently in and all too ready to leave, just because she might have been a criminal from someone elses perspective, maybe that is not considered abusive behaviour to you , after all i suppose in your country you can shoot someone dead if they step into your own precious little box And the nation bigotry comes of out nowhere... So many backwards people in the world.
Sigh...
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excuse me if he can consider my friends reaction to this behaviour to be "self important" and not "it was abusive" then its a pretty safe assumption that there are some cultural differences in perception going on at work here
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On November 19 2011 12:58 FFGenerations wrote: okay well maybe if your kind and gentle mother was screamed at by a violent maniac bashing on her toilet door then picked up and carried out of the building that she was innocently in and all too ready to leave, just because she might have been a criminal from someone elses perspective, maybe that is not considered abusive behaviour to you , after all i suppose in your country you can shoot someone dead if they step into your own precious little box And all this time I thought you might be overreacting...
I can see it now. You're totally rational. You've persuaded me with your calm, well-reasoned, and clearly presented argument.
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