Gaming rage and anger management - please help - Page 17

On May 11 2013 14:08 VasHeR wrote:
If you love sc2 and play it all the time, maybe you should set up a stream that you can run ads from. People will probably come to watch you rage (like how many people watch NASCAR hoping for a crash). This will allow you to (1) profit from your anger, (2) get immediate feedback after every game about what tactical decisions, micro errors, or otherwise led to your loss, and (3) give you an appropriate place and audience to vent your frustrations.
good luck

On May 11 2013 15:09 trias_e wrote:
I think frustration and anger ultimately come from disappointment in one's overall results.

I used to play poker for a living, and I would usually have no rage, even if I got one-outed for a $1000 pot. Sometimes I would start to rage if I was in the middle of a bad run, but otherwise, I would have no problem with losing individual hands. This is because my hard work had paid off. I knew I was a profitable player in the long run.

On the other hand, I rage often and pretty hard in SC2. And it's directly proportional to how hard I try to get better, as well. The reason why? I suck. Given how much time and effort I've put into the game, I feel like I should be better than I am. I'm halfway through Malcolm Gladwell's bullshit 10,000 hours hypothesis, and I've only gotten worse. I've been ramming my head against a wall for years with this game. So I rage when I play it, out of frustration at my effort not giving any dividends. People that play 1/5 of the amount of time are better than I are. I am fucking terrible.

But I'm too stubborn to stop. There are some things I'm not stubborn about. But the things that I am...I can never stop until I am satisfied. This trait is the only reason I've ever gotten good at anything. But the problem is, it also means I will waste my time sucking at something forever. But I can't help it. I want to get better. I can't stop now.

I guess what I'm saying is that rage is a matter of disappointment in one's self. And if you're as stubborn as I am, I don't think there is any solution to it.

On May 11 2013 14:12 BronzeKnee wrote:


This sounds like a terrible idea...

So he sets up the stream, loses, rages, but we'll need a camera in his room where he plays, so we can see him smash stuff. Also let's also setup a camera in his car, so we can watch his "rage runs" as he speeds recklessly around the streets before coming back to que up another game.

Yes, sounds like that would attract the appropriate therapeutic audience...

Fact is, when he is raging he won't listen to the game play feedback and it won't help him appropriately calm himself.

What he needs to do is figure out what makes him rage. Is he mad at his opponent? Himself? The game? That is really the first step, because before coming up to a solution we have to know the problem. Solving each of those requires a different response.

On May 11 2013 16:37 VasHeR wrote:

What are you talking about? So many people in this thread are so out of touch... treating this guy like he has some debilitating personality disorder (evidenced by "Also let's also setup a camera in his car, so we can watch his "rage runs" as he speeds recklessly around the streets before coming back to que up another game.") and needs a psychiatrist or a 12 step program or something ridiculous to handle his anger.
Do you not think he would rage less on camera? I think he would.
What are you talking about cameras in the car? This sounded horribly confusing/incoherent and not related to what we're talking about.
Go back to the idra thread and feed him your nonsense about getting in touch with his inner self to discover the root of his anger, ok? Best of luck to you

On May 11 2013 16:52 VasHeR wrote:
He does say debilitating in the OP... so I guess I concede that. I used the term vaguely... semantics are annoying. Still, he sounds like a generally well adjusted and successful person, and everyone here is treating him like he has a deep seeded personality disorder. The measures people suggest for such an individual sound ludicrous to me.

On May 11 2013 13:22 Valestrum wrote:
You sound like an intelligent person, I believe you already know the answer or have the means of answering this for yourself. The issue is you get angry after multiple losses, correct? So let's examine a bit further:

First, why do you get upset from a loss at all? This is your core problem, if losing had no negative impact on you then you would not lead to rage at all. So the true issue here is your outlook. You want to win, you want to succeed, and you think you deserved so in that last game. However that's not the correct outlook, "More GG, more skill" as White-Ra would say; Try looking at the positives of losing. You can analyze and see why you lost, every loss is a guide to get improve.

Always say GG, even if he cheesed you; Then ask what you could have done better in that game and you might learn something extra if you're polite.

Moving onwards though if that approach doesn't seem up your alley; There's always the simple no-brainer solution: Whenever you lose a game (Or at most 2 in a row) then take a break. Go watch a TV show, get some food, play with your kitten or puppy, stretch, etc.. It should help a lot.

Lastly now I would look at other things just in case. Perhaps losing in SC2 isn't what turns you into a furious person; Perhaps it is merely the catalyst. You may want to review other aspects of your life and how you feel about them. (IE: Relationship status, work status, family status, friend status, financial status, health status, etc..) That could all make you feel more stressed and a greater need to 'prove yourself' by winning games (And getting angry at repeated losses).


Well I don't think this post will get read anyways seeing as this is Page 17 already, but I hope I helped you or whomever read this at least a little bit if someone did at all read it. Good luck with your future. ^_^

On May 11 2013 15:45 IPA wrote:


I am the same way my friend. I think some of us are just wired this way. Blessing and a curse...

On May 11 2013 15:43 Vlade wrote:
Well, I can only tell you what I have found out for myself, as I do a lot of contemplation on these subjects. I sincerely hope the following helps you, as it has helped me.

I would recommend you take a break from StarCraft for now, as it seems to be doing more harm than good for you at the moment.

The first thing you have to understand, is that you are living in your own story. We humans have a tendency to act like this is not the case, but it is plain to see. If you put two different people in front of the same stimulus they have a different reaction. Does seeing a score screen come up have any intrinsic meaning outside of the reality you create in your head?

It's important to understand this, because in reality nobody ever lost to anyone. Winning and losing happens by mutual agreement, when both parties both agree to play certain roles (like stage characters) in response to an arbitrary stimulus, in this case, an arrangement of pixels on a screen. When the score screen comes up, one party is allowed to feel good, and the other is supposed to feel bad.

With me so far? Alright. The problem is, we were programmed since children to feel these emotions, so when the stimulus happens, we have little to no control over what we feel, because we have trained the response to be automatic through thousands of repetitions.

So we go through life thinking it is exterior reality that determines out emotions, because we have set up a complex system of emotional triggers in our head which dictate how we feel. But on close observation, you realize that feelings never happen to you, it's you who create them. If someone thinks he has won a set due to a miscommunication at GSL, he explodes into joy. But if you tell him he has lost, he feels awful. But then you can tell him you were just joking and he really did win, and he feels great again. Then the management intervenes and confirms the disqualification. See what I mean?

So back to your gaming. It is clear to see that it's not the game that makes you mad, it is your identification with your play. It's the story you tell yourself about the game. Anger is a natural survival response, if that keyboard were actually an attacking wild animal, it would be dead as sh** right now, so you can take some comfort in that. But you are not playing for your life, you are in no actual danger.

Matching wits with someone in StarCraft is great fun, but you'll have to start telling yourself a different story. When we play a faceless player, our minds tend to project qualities onto them. For a lot of people, their first instinct is to make him an enemy. Just his portrait looks smug. His probe blocking of your expansion feels like a personal attack on you. His pre-emptive gg is a further slap in the face. But what if you were really playing a super cool Master's level grandma who was unaccustomed to "gg etiquette" or perhaps a 13 year old girl dying of cancer, enjoying her remaining days playing StarCraft from the hospital?

So you see, what you see as exterior reality, real losses, real enemies, isn't there at all once you stop creating it. Why take it personally, when everyone is creating their own story out of thin air? The most "successful" people don't ever use the stories created for them, they make up their own, and find a way to create a market out of thin air, or live their dream despite everyone telling them they'll never make it, or just smile a lot. We share a common reality, but the meaning is something we tack on ourselves. It's like everyone is talking but nobody understands each other, all we can hear is our own voice. If we could understand each other, on a deep level, would we still hate each other, or ourselves?

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Maybe the above post is not what the internet in general likes to hear, but if we're going to pull the weed up by its roots, there it is. I hope some people can read this and perhaps decide to make StarCraft something fun instead of something miserable, because everything I've said applies to everyone's brown-colored glasses when it comes to StarCraft, balance QQ, or just general life stuff.

Perhaps I have said too much already!

EDIT: Of course I'm not some superhuman who is immune to emotions, but when you get in touch with facts, it is just common sense to not hold on to the anger, or hurt yourself or others. It's more something the brain learns than something you learn, if that makes sense.

On May 11 2013 17:07 noachr wrote:
If you feel that competitive gaming is an important enough part of your life to merit the time and expense of dealing with your issues, you should find a psychotherapist. It may be better to go with a younger psychologist, but it is unlikely that almost any therapist will immediately understand how much gaming is important to you and how it can provoke such strong behavior. However, if you take the time to explain, a good therapist should be able to help.

On May 11 2013 14:12 BronzeKnee wrote:


This sounds like a terrible idea...

So he sets up the stream, loses, rages, but we'll need a camera in his room where he plays, so we can see him smash stuff. Also let's also setup a camera in his car, so we can watch his "rage runs" as he speeds recklessly around the streets before coming back to que up another game.

Yes, sounds like that would attract the appropriate therapeutic audience...

Fact is, when he is raging he won't listen to the game play feedback and it won't help him appropriately calm himself.

What he needs to do is figure out what makes him rage. Is he mad at his opponent? Himself? The game? That is really the first step, because before coming up to a solution we have to know the problem. Solving each of those requires a different response.