Apologies in advance if there's another topic on this that I missed, or if the SC2 General forum isn't the place for something of this nature. I did the best I could and don't mean to make additional work for anyone. I also want to preface this by saying that this isn't an easy thread for me to create. It's a topic I try to avoid, and paints me in an extremely unflattering light. Frankly I'm embarrassed, but then again, if I didn't feel like this was important to ask for advice on, I wouldn't go through the trouble.
I'm 27 years old. I'm about to be a masters student, I have a full-time job that I love and feel makes a difference, plenty of friends and hobbies outside of gaming, I'm in a stable, long-term, healthy relationship with a wonderful girl, and I generally have a pretty awesome life. I also suffer (if that's the appropriate word choice), from uncontrollable, debilitating gaming rage that at times has had a direct impact on my professional life, my romantic life, and my own safety.
Just to be clear, I'm not talking about typing out obscenities after losing a game, punching a pillow, and being in a sour mood for a few minutes. The level of anger after a few losses rises to the point where I no longer feel as though I'm in control of my own body. I don't drink much, and have never done a drug in my life, but it's how I imagine it must feel to be on some sort of mind-altering substance, where rational thought no longer has any bearing on your actions. A short list of things that I've been driven to include (but are not limited to):
1. Slamming my fists into any objects around me with such force and consistency that I have damaged the nerves in my hands, wrists, and fingers several times, sometimes requiring months to heal. At one point I thought I was going to need surgery for a nerve impingement, but was fortunate to be able to avoid it. 2. Throwing, damaging, and breaking objects around me. Yesterday, I managed to slam 4 or 5 keys off of my $120.00 mechanical keyboard. Fortunately I was able to find them and re-attach them and it still works (good on you, Corsair!). 3. Screaming in fits of rage that lasts for anywhere from 30-45 minutes at their worst. I was actually cited for a noise violation by my apartment complex late last year for this and the associated slamming and banging. 4. Speeding and driving semi-recklessly when I have to go somewhere after playing and losing a few matches. This is the scariest thing, because I could, y'know, die, or cause someone else to die.
The strange thing is that absolutely nothing else in my life gets me this upset. Nothing. I'm a very relaxed, easy-going guy in every other facet of my life. If anyone I worked with or went to school with knew this side of me existed, they would be utterly, incredibly shocked. I can't explain why video games (and starcraft, in particular) is such a trigger for me, but it has me on the verge of quitting the game, which I don't want to do because I love it, and the entire E-sports scene in general.
So...I know other people out there have had this issue, or are currently dealing with this issue. How do you handle it? How do you change your frame of mind? When you feel yourself going all nerd-hulk and losing control, how do you bring it back and step away without doing something that you later feel embarrassed about? How do you maintain a fierce competitive fire without letting it consume you?
If I've bm'd anyone on the ladder who reads this thread, I'm sorry. It's not me, really. When I'm in that moment, I just don't feel like myself anymore, and say and do things that I later regret. As I said before, I don't want to quit Starcraft 2, but I'm not sure what my options are beyond that.
Also in before "grow up kid." Yes, I should grow up. It's hard when it comes to this particular topic. I've managed to be a mature adult in every other facet of my life but this one. I'm working on it.
What makes you rage like this? Is it because you find some strategy to be really stupid, do you feel like you outplayed your opponent but still lost, or are you more frustrated by your own mistakes?
EDIT: Or are you just made whenever you lose, regardless of the reason?
If you want to improve, its better to lose than to win because its easier to see what you did wrong. Thats how i deal with it You should probably see someone about anger management if its hurting you this badly though. And taking a break from sc2 or just trying to have fun during games helps too.
I used to be like this, except for the speeding and screaming. What helped me a lot was that every time I lost I told myself that I was bad and I deserved the loss and I didn't win because I wasn't the better player. This mindset helped me a lot and made me into a better player.
I've generally found my rage to be highly correlated with what I do before I begin practice. A few basic questions
Also to the above poster - I don't think finding another hobby would help this. It's a competitive rage - so unless you want to stop competing for the rest of your life it's something to be overcome and solved.
Are you sleeping enough? Are you destressing before you begin playing? Are you eating enough / properly? Are you exercising regularly?
There's more but these are the most obvious. If you take care of yourself before and after you play - you'll not only play better but rage less if you do lose.
i know you said this before but maybe you should grow up? What I mean by this is look at your life and say "is losing a match in a video game I play for fun a big deal?" Sure we all get frustrated, when we lose, but grown ups move past those frustrating moments and power through them. But no offense I feel like your one of those people who shouldn't play video games you can lose at because of the fact you wrote:
1. Slamming my fists into any objects around me with such force and consistency that I have damaged the nerves in my hands, wrists, and fingers several times, sometimes requiring months to heal. At one point I thought I was going to need surgery for a nerve impingement, but was fortunate to be able to avoid it. 2. Throwing, damaging, and breaking objects around me. Yesterday, I managed to slam 4 or 5 keys off of my $120.00 mechanical keyboard. Fortunately I was able to find them and re-attach them and it still works (good on you, Corsair!). 3. Screaming in fits of rage that lasts for anywhere from 30-45 minutes at their worst. I was actually cited for a noise violation by my apartment complex late last year for this and the associated slamming and banging. 4. Speeding and driving semi-recklessly when I have to go somewhere after playing and losing a few matches. This is the scariest thing, because I could, y'know, die, or cause someone else to die.
really tells me that you need to grow up, get mental help, don't play the game. Hope this helps you, I am not trying to be mean, but your situation is pretty stupid.
Actually, I'd invest in talking to somebody about anger management or possible psychological issues. I have the same issues, but nowhere near this level. I'm fine after 20 seconds or so. This sounds like it runs deeper than SC2.
Um, why are you so mad? Remember that SC2 is just a game. It may be played by professionals, but for those who are not, in the end, it's just a game or a hobby. Even if you lose to something you deem imba, if you were good enough, you can beat it even if it is imba. Remember that ladder ranking =/= direct relative skill to other players. Be happy when you play! Don't take the game hard on yourself. Relax, don't go full try hard and apm spam at 400 apm.
On May 09 2013 08:55 Whatson wrote: What makes you rage like this? Is it because you find some strategy to be really stupid, do you feel like you outplayed your opponent but still lost, or are you more frustrated by your own mistakes?
EDIT: Or are you just made whenever you lose, regardless of the reason?
It depends. Losing several games in a row and often times to cheeses or strategies that prevent me from practicing what I want can set it off. That's the biggest thing.
Also, a good mentality is to think of the real opponent as yourself. You battle against yourself to see if you can constantly improve, not to destroy your opponent. It's nice to win, but starcraft isn't exactly the game to reward you for winning. So if you can, remember that you are your own enemy, not your opponent.
If playing sc2 is an endangerment to you and those around you, then you should absolutely cut it out. Maybe take a few months off and see a therapist if it still bothers you.
And any advice you get on the internet is probably going to be wrong or unhelpful so take it with a grain of salt. That being said, in my opinion you should try to think about what is actually making you mad. Is it that you don't really understand the game and are getting frustrated over losses? Is the BM of your opponents just getting to your head? Are you playing sc2 as an escape from reality (are the problems stemming from outside the game)? These are questions that only you can answer but once you start thinking about them maybe you can work through it. But in the meantime, definitely take a break from the game because it sounds as if you aren't really achieving any of your sc2 goals or even having much fun playing as it is.
EPT
