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On December 01 2005 13:51 FroST(TE) wrote:i once read somewhere that if you can't stand on your knees and allow yourself to fall straight on your nose you'll never be not shy where the fuck did you hear that??
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Braavos36362 Posts
i read somewhere if your hand is bigger than your face you have a less quirky/interesting personality...
everyone who put their hand over their face i wish i was there to slap the back of it
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Why do you want to meet more people exactly? What do you want to share? The answers to those questions should be guides for any social activity.
BTW, I think there's a very important distinction between the type of conversation you learn and improve at through practice, and the type that is innate. Basically the first type is the "social rules/conventions" part, that is, learning what kinds of things you can say to make ppl confortable/open/feel that you are open such as hi, how are you, how was your weekend, all the regular questions that anyone can understand and answer. However I find those boring and useless (you already know how people will answer and stuff, so its just like a repetitive routine) so I try to keep them at a minimum. The real fun convo starts when you simply say what you would say to yourself were you alone. That is real honest sharing, and when it goes both ways it's really cool (aka friends ). Note that silences become comfortable when you have the mindframe of the second conversation.
I don't know if you get what I'm saying, but in any case to me the people who reject you on the basis of inability to follow "conventional conversation rules" are just boring anyway. No offense to them To come back to what I said first, just make sure you know what you want exactly or else you're kind of shooting in the dark. Cheers
Edit: About the real honest convo: the way I go about it is I try to get to this stage as fast as possible with ANYONE I talk to. This is restricted by my anxiety levels, but advanced by my interest in real communication. And if I say what seems like random stupid shit/unintelligible phrases/etc. then usually they aren't people who I would be able to get close to anyway.
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I should read before I post.
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Let's try and diagnose this. Shy because of fear of embarassment? You think you'll say the wrong thing, something boring, something weird. Shy as restraint? You worry that if you actually spoke your mind half the time you'd hurt a lot of people's feelings because you think they are dorks, stupid drunks, or sluts. Shy because of arrogance? You don't really care what other people think, so you don't talk to them very much. Shy because of discomfort in certain situations? You feel awkward meeting new people or don't like talking to people at clubs when you have to shout to be heard. Shy because of some other reason?
Which of these sounds the most like you (or which combination)?
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United Kingdom10597 Posts
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I stare at the ground sometimes when i walk in the school hallways, just because i get bored and the tiles on the floor are something to concentrate on :p
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United Kingdom10597 Posts
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Korea (South)11567 Posts
On December 01 2005 15:39 decafchicken wrote: I stare at the ground sometimes when i walk in the school hallways, just because i get bored and the tiles on the floor are something to concentrate on :p
here you go. your not alone!
http://www.wimp.com/beemo/
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On December 01 2005 16:01 CaucasianAsian wrote:Show nested quote +On December 01 2005 15:39 decafchicken wrote: I stare at the ground sometimes when i walk in the school hallways, just because i get bored and the tiles on the floor are something to concentrate on :p here you go. your not alone! http://www.wimp.com/beemo/
I would kill myself if i was emo. And not because it's the emo thing to do. I just can't stand those fuckers.
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i went to a party today.. i had one close friend there.. i would talk to ppl that my friend would talk to.. otherwise i would just be alone..
tomorrow i have another party to go to.. only one of my closer friends wants to go with me.. im afraid itll be the same..
most ppl drink n let their drunkeness allow them to act stupid and then other ppl laugh and that makes em social..
i stand at the side.. taking pictures.. attempting to converse.. but.. yea.. i guess im just naturally introverted.. but i do want to learn to talk to people more in group settings..
im not shy because i get embarassed, im not shy because i feel like i would say something stupid, i guess im really more quiet than shy.. because i cant think of things to say..
the gym is not the best place to converse with people.. i go several times a week and i never talk to anyone.. nobody talks in the gym..
i go to hip hop classes every friday.. sure i may say hi, whatdya think of the class, are you a student at berkeley, what got you interested, etc.. but there is a high likelihood i wont get to see that person again and also i dont get to talk to them that much..
i go to church on sundays.. just out of curiosity.. i do get another opportunity to talk to people there.. and people do approach me but.. i always forget peoples names.. and i forget the things theyve told me.. and i don't really know what is the best way to approach other people..
oh and.. i appreciate the help and the pms but i am not interested in making friends through the internet -_-a. im not comfortable with getting ppls ims n talking to them just to talk.. i usually would only do this if the person is a regular op cal person or the person is interested in going to my tournaments.. or if i meet the person in a bw event at first..
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United Kingdom10597 Posts
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Omg someone has just kidnapped mnm and tortured her until she gave her password of her tl.net account! . Not to worry though, I have a big suspect and i know where he lives. Since it looks like something he would say.
Youre dead whiz!
:D
jk
No seriously mnm, you are asking for advice on becoming a pro football player when you are sorrounded by the worlds top chess players.
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United Kingdom10597 Posts
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I don't believe you. "more quiet than shy.. because i cant think of things to say.." There is no way you are standing there with nothing on your mind. Nobody has absolutely nothing going on upstairs. There must be something inhibiting you from saying what is on your mind. I think that the fact that you say that you can't think of things to say means that you can't think of INTERESTING things to say. I also think that you probably can come up with interesting things to say, you just put too high of a filter on what comes out of your mouth. You allege that the reason is not fear of embarassment of what you might say. Are you sure about that? Sometimes I know I have to keep quiet because if I spoke my mind, I would tell the person they were a dumbass. Sometimes I avoid talking about certain subjects because I am not very knowledgeable about the subject and am at least marginally embarassed about my lack of knowledge.
I do not think it comes down to lacking anything to say. I am sure you have something to say, but that you are just very cautious about speaking your mind. Everybody has something to say. Maybe you have just accepted the fact that you do not pay attention very well and since you don't pay attention very well, you tend to say inappropriate things. Or things at the wrong time, or things completely off-topic. So to avoid this outcome, you have subconsciously put a pretty high filter on what comes out of your mouth. High enough that you always put forth a lot of effort to think hard about what to say before saying it. Then you get caught thinking, when the other person is waiting for you to say something and the conversation ends.
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United Kingdom10597 Posts
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