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Help the shy quiet antisocial introvert...

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mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
November 30 2005 13:05 GMT
#1
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:11:18
November 30 2005 13:07 GMT
#2
want a build order?

edit:
no, seriously. shyness is not your essence. it's a symptom. and you're looking for a perscription to relieve it. but when it comes to personality, it's up to your own interpretation of yourself and others--first you must admit those to yourself in their fullest terms, then be open to argument about how others see those differently. even if you commit to practicing others' interpretations wholeheartedly, thereby being "less shy," it takes more time than most people realize. you are experienced when it comes to being shy. to put it in terms you'll understand: you are gosu at it. if you switch races, you will be noob. and you'll want to fall back on your shy-related patterns, (interpretations, coping mechanisms, etc.) so you must slowly build up a whole new way of dealing with things, seeing things, and so on. it takes TIME, more than people are willing to accept. you must accept gradual changes as a goal, meaning 4-6 weeks of TRYING something before really seeing how it pans out--small things, like telling yourself to think X Y Z about people instead of your old A B C. and these are the kinsd of things that are hard to stick to and easy to forget (easy to relapse!)

now that you understand everything... i have shown you the path. but knowing the path is very different from walking the path. i can bring you to the door but only you can go through it. become gosu random player!
express yourself--madonna
1hp
Profile Joined January 2005
Korea (South)903 Posts
November 30 2005 13:07 GMT
#3
yeah sounds like me....stopped being able to look people in the eye without being nervous after a bad experience
[X]Ken_D
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
United States4650 Posts
November 30 2005 13:09 GMT
#4
If you want fast results then try doing group sports. Easy to meet friends. Sort of like the Starcraft experience minus the anti-social aspect of it being online.
[X]Domain - I just do the website. Nothing more.
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
November 30 2005 13:14 GMT
#5
another idea i have is a game where you talk through a microphone a lot. that might be a good intermediate step. like this guy i know who plays WoW all day. he seems almost socially adequate. having a job will help too. get a shitty easy job and it will no doubt you building an endurance to interacting with horrible people
express yourself--madonna
YoUr_KiLLeR
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States3420 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:15:48
November 30 2005 13:15 GMT
#6
i didnt expect mnm to be this thread starter =P

edit: but then again, i dont know you very well at all
what the fuck do you have to say for yourself now you protoss jackass can you retaliate in any way
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
November 30 2005 13:15 GMT
#7
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mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
November 30 2005 13:16 GMT
#8
yeah i think randomko makes me think of another thing. maybe you could just passively observe people a bit more. maybe your habit is too much to look away, and just by people watching you could learn a lot about what people want, what they like, and where you could fit in comfortably
express yourself--madonna
GeeyoUkNIT
Profile Joined July 2005
434 Posts
November 30 2005 13:18 GMT
#9
lol I was HELLA shy back in the days, but i moved up like hella, and now act as if im hyper or something. took me about 7 years though. some things to do are, keep your head up (omg i never wanna talk to people walking with their heads down), smile -exercise those muscles, keep eye contact, if your in talking distance from an other person and their not talking to anyone talk to them!

if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better.
skyglow1
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
New Zealand3962 Posts
November 30 2005 13:19 GMT
#10
On November 30 2005 22:15 randomKo_Orean wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote:
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..


are you joking?
dont be quiet, reach out

no guys or girls will refuse if you start a friendly convo with them (About anything)


Friendly convo of starcraft = no re

skyglow1
collegeBored
Profile Joined November 2002
United States1524 Posts
November 30 2005 13:21 GMT
#11
what.. the.. fuck.. u gotta be kidding.
The stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, the wise forgive but never forget.
collegeBored
Profile Joined November 2002
United States1524 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:34:06
November 30 2005 13:29 GMT
#12
On November 30 2005 22:18 GeeyoUkNIT wrote:
if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better.

i disagree, i think arguements make the best conversations, if both people can be mature about it. if you pick something u both agree on it just ends up with
-hi
-hi
-i think [blah]
-yup
-....

if you have different opinions on something it makes it easier to talk about it and express your own

oh and of course a good motto to live by is
"life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery"
The stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, the wise forgive but never forget.
HeadBangaa
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
United States6512 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:39:30
November 30 2005 13:35 GMT
#13
On November 30 2005 22:18 GeeyoUkNIT wrote:
lol I was HELLA shy back in the days, but i moved up like hella, and now act as if im hyper or something. took me about 7 years though. some things to do are, keep your head up (omg i never wanna talk to people walking with their heads down), smile -exercise those muscles, keep eye contact, if your in talking distance from an other person and their not talking to anyone talk to them!

if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better.
You hella sound like you're from Nor Cal

EDIT: Original poster, you're one of our rare female members, right? I always confuse you with mrmin or whoever, names look kinda similar. I met a helluva lotta great people at work. Half of my best friends are coworkers.
People who fail to distinguish Socratic Method from malicious trolling are sadly stupid and not worth a response.
OhThatDang
Profile Joined August 2004
United States4685 Posts
November 30 2005 13:37 GMT
#14
whats a good topic when communicating with girls anyways
troi oi thang map nai!!!
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
November 30 2005 13:37 GMT
#15
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mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
November 30 2005 13:41 GMT
#16
if you're a shy female my advice is way different, probably. i'm not sure why yet. so post if you're female. i was answering as though you were male.
express yourself--madonna
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
November 30 2005 13:43 GMT
#17
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lastprobeALIVE
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States973 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:44:44
November 30 2005 13:44 GMT
#18
if you're good looking, guys want you, not the other way around
edit: start to party A LOT
when in doubt DT out
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:49:22
November 30 2005 13:45 GMT
#19
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mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:59:28
November 30 2005 13:56 GMT
#20
yeah it might work, i just am pretty sure i would have said much different things. hmm. well, assuming he/she is in the U.S., basically you really have men and women with very different access to culture(s). u have a mainstream girl culture, mainstream guy culture, then u have losers who band together and play d&d, shit like that. so i guess i go back to my original point that the "shyness" needs to be defined in more concrete terms and its cause brought to light

one thing i am thinking of is how likable girls can be to many many guys very easily. sincere simling, confidence, aggressiveness, proximity can go a LONG way. so it depends what u mean by shyness. if you want some shallow bitches to like you, then you, well, have to make them feel good about themselves and use you probably. most girls who can't be popular and think they're all high and mighty would do the same thing if they had the opportunity/skills. non-bitches are rare, and they're sitll kinda bitchy if you ask me. most guys are bitches too. in fact, most species are bitches. except sloths. they fucking rock.
express yourself--madonna
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
November 30 2005 13:59 GMT
#21
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Chogs_User
Profile Joined January 2004
United States410 Posts
November 30 2005 14:17 GMT
#22
I find yappy girls annoying
why do you want to be more outgoing anyway?
Old
Bill307
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada9103 Posts
November 30 2005 14:17 GMT
#23
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote:
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..


I've often wondered this myself. I have too few friends here at University. It's great fun to go out and watch a movie or something, and it's always less painful to work on an assignment with someone else rather than by yourself. For the most part, I really prefer spending time with other people (in person) over spending time alone. But my friends have lives too, and they can't just keep doing things with me all the time =P. Not to mention that I need to meet more women or else I'll never have a realistic shot at finding a girlfriend =P.

Anyway, here is my current solution: talk to strangers. If you're out anywhere (e.g. waiting for something), and you see someone else who's alone (e.g. waiting for the same thing), and they have the facial expression of someone who is probably going to be friendly and open to conversation, then just start talking to them. Personally, I find the most inviting facial expressions to be a soft (non-egotistic) smile and a lonely/bored stare (which quickly becomes a smile once they start talking to you). You can just follow your emotions on this decision and all others, though, EXCEPT for your emotions of shyness and fear! Just consciously tell yourself those emotions are wrong, ignore them, and go in with no fear of being rejected. Once you've done it a few times, you will feel much less anxiety about talking to random people in the future. As for what to talk about, just comment on something you both have in common: being in the same class, waiting in the same line for the same thing, looking at the same family of ducks waddling by, etc.

And my advice (and experience) pretty much ends there. Now my next problem is actually getting the contact information of the people I randomly meet, if meeting them is a one time thing (as opposed to, say, striking a random conversation with a classmate or coworker you've never really met). My current plan: if our little conversation leads to a common interest, then ask them if they'd like to do something together in the future related to said interest. After all, it's the natural thing to do, right? Haven't gotten a chance to put it into action yet, but I think it'll go well when I do. Hopefully I'll soon be hooking up with teh ladies left and right!
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
November 30 2005 14:26 GMT
#24
my facial expression keeps anyone from saying a fucking thing to me. thank god
express yourself--madonna
Bill307
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada9103 Posts
November 30 2005 14:27 GMT
#25
On November 30 2005 22:15 randomKo_Orean wrote:
no guys or girls will refuse if you start a friendly convo with them (About anything)


I really like this advice . I think it's something that's very important to realize and to understand in order to be a more social person.

Shyness and anxiety are totally the wrong emotions to listen to when you're trying to judge who will be open to a conversation. If they're the kind of person who actually will refuse, you'll definitely be able to tell because you will actually feel repulsed or put-off by them.
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
November 30 2005 14:27 GMT
#26
--- Nuked ---
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
November 30 2005 14:29 GMT
#27
well usually i'm open to conversation but i can just tell which fuckers are going to be such a waste before they open their mouthes thats why those fuckers go online, cuz then i cant see their face and i have to actually read a few sentences of them. ouch.
express yourself--madonna
Bill307
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada9103 Posts
November 30 2005 14:30 GMT
#28
On November 30 2005 23:27 randomKo_Orean wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2005 23:26 mitsy wrote:
my facial expression keeps anyone from saying a fucking thing to me. thank god


what's that supposed to mean :<


He's feeling sarcastic?
mrmin123 *
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Korea (South)2971 Posts
November 30 2005 15:22 GMT
#29
On November 30 2005 22:35 HeadBangaa wrote:
EDIT: Original poster, you're one of our rare female members, right? I always confuse you with mrmin or whoever, names look kinda similar. I met a helluva lotta great people at work. Half of my best friends are coworkers.

"Whoever"? I am no "whoever"!

But anyway, I'm a shy guy myself, but I've overcome most of my shyness by just forcing myself to talk with people. Most people are fairly friendly when you first start talking to them (unless they're total elitest dickwads), so try and take advantage of it and force yourself to start talking, introduce yourself, find something to talk about. Hopefully the rest will come naturally, because in my opinion, stuff like this isn't something you can really get that much help for, just a place to start.
Translator태양은 묘지위에 붉게 떠오르고 / 한낮에 찌는 더위는 나의 시련 일찌라!
brite
Profile Joined January 2005
United Kingdom253 Posts
November 30 2005 16:02 GMT
#30
ok so here's my situation. i am not exactly shy in the sense of that i don't talk to people but when i do talk to people i just talk for like 1 or 2 minutes and can't think of anything more to say. well that's not entirely true. if i talk to some girls they will just go on and on and on about something which is fine with me, at least i am in t a conversation with them. but it is kinda common knowledge at our school that i suck at talking so all kinds of people just come up to me and try to talk to me.and still i can't think of stuff to talk about. the eye-contact also sucks because i look them in the eyes like most of the time and when they then stare straight back at me i get all , well whatever scared or something, and so i look somewhere else. i guess they then think i'm bored or rude or something. the only time i actually talk alot myself is when i'm drunk. then i can talk for ages about some bs as it turns out the next day.
oh and i'm really nervous. when i have to stand up in front of the whole class or something i start to actually tremble and sometimes let go of pens or papers in my hand, which is of course very amusing for the rest of the class.
so wtf do u talk about to someone that u know like from school and that's not some bs like "how was your we?" "how ur doing at school?"..,. or wahtever bs like that.
oh and another thing. when i talk to girls i think are hot i seem to just talk bs and look around myself all the time, sothat i don't have to look her in the eyes. with girls that are just friends i can actually talk rather well, we have more in common ... stuff like that.
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
November 30 2005 16:03 GMT
#31
On November 30 2005 23:30 Bill307 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2005 23:27 randomKo_Orean wrote:
On November 30 2005 23:26 mitsy wrote:
my facial expression keeps anyone from saying a fucking thing to me. thank god


what's that supposed to mean :<


He's feeling sarcastic?
I dont think so
NoCleanFeed.com
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 16:05 GMT
#32
--- Nuked ---
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 16:14 GMT
#33
--- Nuked ---
MoltkeWarding
Profile Joined November 2003
5195 Posts
November 30 2005 16:14 GMT
#34
If a stranger starts a conversation with me out of the blue I will ignore them or give one-word responses.

Strangely this applies for b.net as well as real life.
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 16:17 GMT
#35
--- Nuked ---
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 16:18 GMT
#36
--- Nuked ---
uhjoo
Profile Joined October 2004
Korea (South)1740 Posts
November 30 2005 16:23 GMT
#37
if anyone flames mnm in this thread they will immediately be banned

:-)
:-)
i want bubbles the warrior monkey back
exalted
Profile Blog Joined March 2004
United States3612 Posts
November 30 2005 16:32 GMT
#38
LOL I thought rpf made this thread. Woops!

MnM you seem pretty cool, I don't see the problem? Don't you work for Ubisoft and everything? The only thing I didn't quite like was when your thread where you were speculating if pretty people have it easier in life.

In the service industry, ESPECIALLY the service industry you really should work your best to look your best, and this includes the superficial like makeup and clothes as well as your bodily health (abs, weight, KEGELS). This is a win/win situation, becuase you will be more confident (and therefore be more proactive in helping customers), and they will be more receptive to your advice becuase you will be a HOT GURLIE.

Good luck!
too easy
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 16:33:59
November 30 2005 16:33 GMT
#39
--- Nuked ---
exalted
Profile Blog Joined March 2004
United States3612 Posts
November 30 2005 16:36 GMT
#40
On December 01 2005 01:14 MoltkeWarding wrote:
If a stranger starts a conversation with me out of the blue I will ignore them or give one-word responses.

Strangely this applies for b.net as well as real life.


This is why you have never had a girlfriend in your life. Don't worry son, one day you will be king and know everything as well. Help me with college essay T_T
too easy
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 16:36 GMT
#41
--- Nuked ---
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 16:46:13
November 30 2005 16:41 GMT
#42
On December 01 2005 01:02 brite wrote:...paragraph...
I have/had the same problems as you, not being able to continue conversations and whenever people would stare into my eyes when talking my id get extremely nervous and my neck muscles would tense forcing me to look away. Like you im also pretty talkative after having a bit to drink, even one beer really helps you relax

I think im finally over it now, the best advice I can give is just to try forget about it and remember that most people aren't judging you. I remember about a year ago all that was on my mind was "my anxiety problem" and the stupid feeling that I was being judged in everything I do, the truth is your not and the problem is all in your head, my guess is your overly self-concious, like I was.

Just try focus on other things than how you think other people see you, you cant change that.
Dont just throw yourself out there either, bad experiences will hurt you alot because stick in your memory and you will remember it each time your put back into that situation(interviews for me) as you probly already know, take it slow, forget about it and with the help of a few beers you'll soon be fine
NoCleanFeed.com
brite
Profile Joined January 2005
United Kingdom253 Posts
November 30 2005 16:48 GMT
#43
On December 01 2005 01:41 nortydog wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 01 2005 01:02 brite wrote:...paragraph...
I have/had the same problems as you, not being able to continue conversations and whenever people would stare into my eyes when talking my id get extremely nervous and my neck muscles would tense forcing me to look away. Like you im also pretty talkative after having a bit to drink, even one beer really helps you relax

I think im finally over it now, the best advice I can give is just to try forget about it and remember that most people aren't judging you. I remember about a year ago all that was on my mind was "my anxiety problem" and the stupid feeling that I was being judged in everything I do, the truth is your not and the problem is all in your head, my guess is your overly self-concious, like I was.

Just try focus on other things than how you think other people see you, you cant change that.
Dont just throw yourself out there either, bad experiences will hurt you alot because stick in your memory and you will remember it each time your put back into that situation(interviews for me) as you probly already know, take it slow, forget about it and with the help of a few beers you'll soon be fine

so basically just drink a few beer and then talk and after a while i don't need to be drunk any more to be talkative??
sounds great to me. i'll give it a try.
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 16:51:02
November 30 2005 16:50 GMT
#44
It worked for me, you really dont need to drink alot, just enough to be totally relaxed and not care what other people think
NoCleanFeed.com
brite
Profile Joined January 2005
United Kingdom253 Posts
November 30 2005 16:53 GMT
#45
On December 01 2005 01:14 Chibi[OWNS] wrote:
mm dunno bout me it depends a lot more than on just facial expression ; total bodily expression

brite that REALLY FUCKING bugs me....i want 2 know what causes 'nerves' other than simply rthe body's natural reaction to eg an important event
why does it feel so shitty
why do some ppl get it worse than others
HOW DO U STOP IT????
mentally i am superior to this feeling but my body still feels nervous as fuck and i just dunno how 2 control it other than sum arduous mental blockage ie acting super overconfident and forgetting everything, but this is a total fuckiing change of mindset and not something i want to have to do

hm sry m8 but i don't quite get ur point. what bugs u?? the way i act?? i can't do much about it.
are u saying u are nervous to at important event?? well that's exactly my problem and i haven't jet figuered how to stop it. what helps if i have to talk like in front of several hundred people is if i can sit. i don't know why but for some strange reason that makes me less nervous and you can only hear a trembling in my voice every now and then insted of all the time.
funny quote from one of my teachers one day i had to stand in front of class
"be confident, you're doing fine, be confident!"
to say the truth that kinda helped me because after that every time i had to speek in front of class i'd not want the teacher to say something like that again. also we would make jokes about it all the time when we had to do some important oral so that also helped a lot.
fEAthEr
Profile Joined July 2004
Canada482 Posts
November 30 2005 17:11 GMT
#46
DO IT LIKE I DID!


get drunk..

again and again..

then get jealous on how the drunk you is more social and popular among girls....

then stay jealous


youll fix up eventually
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 17:22 GMT
#47
--- Nuked ---
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
November 30 2005 17:23 GMT
#48
if your not sensible that is ^_^
NoCleanFeed.com
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 17:24 GMT
#49
--- Nuked ---
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
November 30 2005 17:41 GMT
#50
errr sounds like random thoughts I get all the time, I try not to let them bother me and as I said they totally dissapear after drinking. I was pretty sure OCD was the underlying problem behind my social problems, you're better off just ignoring it I suppose, I think its just part of my personality, i've never really felt any different.
NoCleanFeed.com
baal
Profile Joined March 2003
10541 Posts
November 30 2005 17:55 GMT
#51
On December 01 2005 02:11 fEAthEr wrote:

then get jealous on how the drunk you is more social and popular among girls....


lol that actually happens :D
Im back, in pog form!
FireBlast!
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United Kingdom5251 Posts
November 30 2005 17:57 GMT
#52
I've been learning a bit about Neurolinguistic programming, it's pretty interesting.
Basically we're communicating all the time, the way we sit, the way we articulate ourselves, the way we stand etc. Researches show the best way to build a rapport with anybody is try consciously to

a) mirror their body language- if they stand straight and tall, you stand straight and tall. If they slouch, you slouch while speaking to them.

b) always smile and make a genuine attempt to at least appear interested in what theyre saying.

anyway most of the time we subconsciously do these things already. why we find socialising awkward with some people is because we cannot easily feel comfortable and must make a conscious attempt at doing these things.
Victoria Concordia Crescit
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 18:12 GMT
#53
--- Nuked ---
Krzych
Profile Joined July 2003
Poland693 Posts
November 30 2005 18:24 GMT
#54
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote:
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..


alcohol!
Pistasj
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Norway272 Posts
November 30 2005 19:26 GMT
#55
From my experience with making friends is that you need to be versatile in you'r interrests and personality. I think life would be pretty dull if you only know how to keep conversations about one subject ( for instance broodwar). Basically I think it's good to have many interrests so that you leave your options open when you talk to someone. Also people might find you more interresting.


Doctorasul
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Romania1145 Posts
November 30 2005 19:28 GMT
#56
If you're nervous when trying to talk to people or find it difficult to keep eye contact, it's a problem of low self esteem. Start liking yourself more. Don't be so hard on yourself, always work on improving yourself and remember your succeses rather than your failures. Give yourself reasons to be proud of yourself and start showing it. People will notice.

Don't be afraid to talk to people! Honestly, what's the WORST thing that could happen? Think about it, the absolute worst thing that can happen, it will be a LEARNING experience in the long run and a lot better than not trying in the first place. Go out there and try it! Force yourself the few couple of times if needed and, as Bill said, you'll soon learn how silly it was to believe people will reject you for a reason or another.

If that's not an issue then you probably need to have more activities that involve other people. Go to a gym, that's good place to meet people. Take a photography class, or whatver interest you may have. Go to concerts more.
"I believe in Spinoza's god who reveals himself in the harmony of all that exists, but not in a god who concerns himself with the fate and actions of human beings." - Albert Einstein
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
November 30 2005 20:59 GMT
#57
i cant hold conversation about anything T_T, they go something like this
"people talking about something"
me "states opinion on that something"
awkward silence
"people continue on about sometihng different"
me "states opinion on that something different"
awkward silence...
i live in a dorm, and i wuddnt consider my self shy (atleast no anymore) but i just shut up and some people think theres something wrong wif me (as i hardly ever talk to people becuz i end up killing convos etc)... also im not putting myself out there enough because of this- i just stay quiet in a circle of people, or going off on some tangent that no one cares about (getting the repeditive yea response)
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
KaasZerg
Profile Joined November 2005
Netherlands927 Posts
November 30 2005 21:29 GMT
#58
You can make friends through your work. Unless they are jerks. Make jokes about the worksetting lighten things up without insulting anyone especially your boss. Find other social settings like a sport or a hobby were you share activities, doing things together face to face. Find people with the same interests. Dare to try something new but only pursue it if you really like it. Talking about what you like could lead to more intimate subjects and friendship. Talk to your neighbours, the busdriver, anyone to home your conversation skills.
Waiting for a train running late? Talk about it without complaining too much you might even pop up a witty remark and make someone grin. Then you stop don't push your luck maybe the other person will take over the innitiative. It starts with small things you have in common. People who you meet at such random occasions mostly won't become friends. Making friends happens when you see someone at a regular basis (there are exceptions).. What have you got to lose if you screw it up (what a weird chick). You probably won't meet them again so use it to gain a little convidence. Even trying it is a better achievement then not saying anything at all.
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36374 Posts
November 30 2005 21:58 GMT
#59
what the fuck

you're not ugly or fat and you're a girl who plays video games

i'm sure you'll find a way
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
November 30 2005 22:01 GMT
#60
do cocaine, problem solvt.
express yourself--madonna
logitech
Profile Joined December 2004
Canada230 Posts
November 30 2005 22:28 GMT
#61
i see many good advices here, but i just wanna say dont force yourself to do something you dont like, some people are born shy, you can even tell when they are still babies..so its perfectly normal, nothing wrong with that, so just be yourself.
8882
Profile Blog Joined December 2003
2718 Posts
November 30 2005 22:49 GMT
#62
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote:
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..


as far as I remember you were the chick that posted her photo on blizzforums and like 50 guys started to follow you on sctactics.com

just go to a fucking club and dont reject the people who will start talking to you

actually you can go anywhere, even school; if you're a semi hot chick without the "hi!" "fuck off" attitude, you should find someone fast

problem solved.
I have returned
DV8
Profile Joined December 2002
United States1623 Posts
December 01 2005 02:33 GMT
#63
On November 30 2005 22:07 mitsy wrote:
want a build order?

edit:
no, seriously. shyness is not your essence. it's a symptom. and you're looking for a perscription to relieve it. but when it comes to personality, it's up to your own interpretation of yourself and others--first you must admit those to yourself in their fullest terms, then be open to argument about how others see those differently. even if you commit to practicing others' interpretations wholeheartedly, thereby being "less shy," it takes more time than most people realize. you are experienced when it comes to being shy. to put it in terms you'll understand: you are gosu at it. if you switch races, you will be noob. and you'll want to fall back on your shy-related patterns, (interpretations, coping mechanisms, etc.) so you must slowly build up a whole new way of dealing with things, seeing things, and so on. it takes TIME, more than people are willing to accept. you must accept gradual changes as a goal, meaning 4-6 weeks of TRYING something before really seeing how it pans out--small things, like telling yourself to think X Y Z about people instead of your old A B C. and these are the kinsd of things that are hard to stick to and easy to forget (easy to relapse!)

now that you understand everything... i have shown you the path. but knowing the path is very different from walking the path. i can bring you to the door but only you can go through it. become gosu random player!


You can do all that, or get wasted one night and become the life of the party.
Passion
Profile Joined December 2003
Netherlands1486 Posts
December 01 2005 02:53 GMT
#64
come over to holland and i ll buy you a beer.
-_-
Profile Blog Joined November 2003
United States7081 Posts
December 01 2005 03:08 GMT
#65
Here's how everyone gets better at being social: practice.

Now I know that sounds stupid, but it's true. Imagine doing a math problem. The first time you do it, it could take you a long time. Or you might not even figure it out. But after do similar problems repeatedly you'll make the moves which stumped you automatically.

The same is for conversation. Now if you were a social little kid then you've had a lot of practice, and you'll be able to keep a conversation going well. If you weren't, you'll be stuck nodding and looking at the clock or whatever. Just make it your goal to keep a conversation interesting as long as possilble (while being able to take a hint of when to stop).
88)WhyYouKickMyDog
Profile Joined July 2004
United States608 Posts
December 01 2005 03:18 GMT
#66
one thing that helps me alot is drinking incredible amounts of alcoholic beverages
rel
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Guam3521 Posts
December 01 2005 03:27 GMT
#67
If your a chick and your anything but butt ass ugly, you have no problem.
I'll tank push my way into her heart. ☮♥&$!
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-01 03:28:51
December 01 2005 03:28 GMT
#68
i no longer have the privilege of having regular social interactions with people from a school setting. when im at work i tend to stare at my screen the entire day and devote half my work day to tl.net and bw. i am invited to social gatherings/parties semi regularly but the problem occurs at that setting. after i get introduced to people, i no longer know what to say. i rely heavily on people approaching me, starting conversation and carrying it from then on. if that doesn't happen then the situation becomes extremely awkward.

i have no interest in meeting strangers in random settings. i do tend to stare at the floor when i walk around the city. i don't like it when strangers talk to me when im walking to and from work or when i'm riding the train or bus.

the only settings im comfortable with are bw events.. especially when i know a bunch of people already and im actually a lot more sociable in that setting.. and clubs.. cuz i like dancing.. but i may become extremely rude to persistent men who wont leave me alone.. or women who just dance too close by..

my boyfriend is not a ganster. i do not live in south california.

i do have problems talking to girls.. and/or people in general who don't play bw..

usually conversation goes along the lines of.. "what do you do for fun".. i would say i play video games.. and they would say something else and then silence..

i also have a very short attention span.. if the person im talking to doesn't interest me right away and/or doesnt play video games and/or doesn't know what ubisoft is.. then i tend not to ask as many questions about them.. usually because i don't know what else to talk about..

i may possibly have that "hi. fuck off." expression many times.. im not sure though.. i tend to not pay attention to people as much as i probably should.

i think keeping eye contact with someone (usually of the opposite gender) for too long without having anything to say might give them the wrong message.

i don't drink.
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
poor newb
Profile Joined April 2004
United States1879 Posts
December 01 2005 03:31 GMT
#69
psychology 101: antisocial = serial killer
How do you mine minerals?
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36374 Posts
December 01 2005 03:34 GMT
#70
you can't hang out with friends you knew in college?

anyway making conversation should never be a chore and is something that is developed. you may be just expecting too much out of people, there's no way they'd know even a fraction of what you do about something you're passionate about like video games.

but seriously, if that's all you're willing to talk about, you might as well stick to bw and video gaming events. if you're unwilling to have other interests/be passionate about other stuff/be well rounded then of course others are going to seem boring. hell, you probably seem really boring to them as well, if all you want to talk about is gaming.

i'd advise just getting more interests and not be so limited in your hobbies. remember, it's a lot easier for you to meet people because a) you're female and b) you're attractive. basically you're going to get friends whichever new thing you try.
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
LetMeBeWithYou
Profile Joined August 2004
Canada4254 Posts
December 01 2005 03:35 GMT
#71
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote:
how do i make friends?


Oh man
All Those beneath an angry star
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-01 03:40:52
December 01 2005 03:38 GMT
#72
=] ^^

note.. this is just a side thought i had.. not really a humungous rpf-level problem.. i can deal with being the way i am now.. but i do appreciate the advice.. just for the sake of self improvement
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
WGT)Dknight
Profile Joined August 2005
United States114 Posts
December 01 2005 04:16 GMT
#73
Go to a party really drunk and do something stupid. Its better to be infamous than not to be known at all, most of the time.
lil.sis
Profile Blog Joined March 2005
China4650 Posts
December 01 2005 04:32 GMT
#74
here's my two cents

i haven't read any replies

you are antisocial because you like to be
好好喝喝天天快乐
lil.sis
Profile Blog Joined March 2005
China4650 Posts
December 01 2005 04:32 GMT
#75
take comfort in your solitude

strengthen the few friendships you already have instead of wasting energy looking for new superficial conversation mates

those types of relationships probably don't satisfy you
好好喝喝天天快乐
brite
Profile Joined January 2005
United Kingdom253 Posts
December 01 2005 04:38 GMT
#76
On December 01 2005 12:28 mnm wrote:
and/or people in general who don't play bw..

well tbh you should get yourself a different hobby. only playing video games is perhaps not the easiest way to get to talk to people/get nw friends.
decafchicken
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States20019 Posts
December 01 2005 04:39 GMT
#77
Well when someone asks you what you do for fun, i would personally rather hear a girl that says "party" than one that says "videogames". Also, judging by your recent post, you are one of three things:

1) Too picky combined with not meeting the right people
2) Aren't trying to be social/want to be anti social like lil.sis said
3) Just flat out ARENT a social person in general. You're just not made to be a little social butterfly. Nothing wrong with that, it's just the way you might be.
how reasonable is it to eat off wood instead of your tummy?
FroST(TE)
Profile Joined September 2004
United States909 Posts
December 01 2005 04:51 GMT
#78
i once read somewhere that if you cant stand on your knees and allow yourself to fall straight on your nose you'll never be not shy
PoorUser on LP
CorporalClegg
Profile Joined November 2005
United States52 Posts
December 01 2005 05:06 GMT
#79
Always be yourself. Also, most other girls won't find playing video games interesting. You shouldn't have to think of what to say...if you can't start a conversation ask some questions.
Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain. You are young and life is long, there is time to kill today. Then one day you find 10 years have gone behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36374 Posts
December 01 2005 05:11 GMT
#80
nah, plenty of girls do. they're just fat and ugly.
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
brite
Profile Joined January 2005
United Kingdom253 Posts
December 01 2005 05:12 GMT
#81
On December 01 2005 13:51 FroST(TE) wrote:
i once read somewhere that if you can't stand on your knees and allow yourself to fall straight on your nose you'll never be not shy

where the fuck did you hear that??
Konni
Profile Blog Joined February 2003
Germany3044 Posts
December 01 2005 05:15 GMT
#82
just try it out brite
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36374 Posts
December 01 2005 05:16 GMT
#83
i read somewhere if your hand is bigger than your face you have a less quirky/interesting personality...




everyone who put their hand over their face i wish i was there to slap the back of it
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
Konni
Profile Blog Joined February 2003
Germany3044 Posts
December 01 2005 05:17 GMT
#84
slap me slap me slap me
Cloud
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Sexico5880 Posts
December 01 2005 05:21 GMT
#85
Joke thread wtf? o_O
BlueLaguna on West, msg for game.
Pseudo_Utopia
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Canada827 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-01 05:43:13
December 01 2005 05:40 GMT
#86
Why do you want to meet more people exactly? What do you want to share? The answers to those questions should be guides for any social activity.

BTW, I think there's a very important distinction between the type of conversation you learn and improve at through practice, and the type that is innate. Basically the first type is the "social rules/conventions" part, that is, learning what kinds of things you can say to make ppl confortable/open/feel that you are open such as hi, how are you, how was your weekend, all the regular questions that anyone can understand and answer. However I find those boring and useless (you already know how people will answer and stuff, so its just like a repetitive routine) so I try to keep them at a minimum. The real fun convo starts when you simply say what you would say to yourself were you alone. That is real honest sharing, and when it goes both ways it's really cool (aka friends ). Note that silences become comfortable when you have the mindframe of the second conversation.

I don't know if you get what I'm saying, but in any case to me the people who reject you on the basis of inability to follow "conventional conversation rules" are just boring anyway. No offense to them To come back to what I said first, just make sure you know what you want exactly or else you're kind of shooting in the dark.
Cheers

Edit: About the real honest convo: the way I go about it is I try to get to this stage as fast as possible with ANYONE I talk to. This is restricted by my anxiety levels, but advanced by my interest in real communication. And if I say what seems like random stupid shit/unintelligible phrases/etc. then usually they aren't people who I would be able to get close to anyway.
Retired SchiSm[LighT]
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-01 05:43:13
December 01 2005 05:42 GMT
#87
I should read before I post.
Carbon FC
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 06:24 GMT
#88
Let's try and diagnose this.
Shy because of fear of embarassment? You think you'll say the wrong thing, something boring, something weird.
Shy as restraint? You worry that if you actually spoke your mind half the time you'd hurt a lot of people's feelings because you think they are dorks, stupid drunks, or sluts.
Shy because of arrogance? You don't really care what other people think, so you don't talk to them very much.
Shy because of discomfort in certain situations? You feel awkward meeting new people or don't like talking to people at clubs when you have to shout to be heard.
Shy because of some other reason?

Which of these sounds the most like you (or which combination)?
Carbon FC
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
December 01 2005 06:26 GMT
#89
--- Nuked ---
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 06:36 GMT
#90
--- Nuked ---
decafchicken
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States20019 Posts
December 01 2005 06:39 GMT
#91
I stare at the ground sometimes when i walk in the school hallways, just because i get bored and the tiles on the floor are something to concentrate on :p
how reasonable is it to eat off wood instead of your tummy?
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 06:52 GMT
#92
--- Nuked ---
CaucasianAsian
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
Korea (South)11577 Posts
December 01 2005 07:01 GMT
#93
On December 01 2005 15:39 decafchicken wrote:
I stare at the ground sometimes when i walk in the school hallways, just because i get bored and the tiles on the floor are something to concentrate on :p


here you go. your not alone!

http://www.wimp.com/beemo/
Calendar@ Fish Server: `iOps]..Stark
decafchicken
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States20019 Posts
December 01 2005 07:19 GMT
#94
On December 01 2005 16:01 CaucasianAsian wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 01 2005 15:39 decafchicken wrote:
I stare at the ground sometimes when i walk in the school hallways, just because i get bored and the tiles on the floor are something to concentrate on :p


here you go. your not alone!

http://www.wimp.com/beemo/


I would kill myself if i was emo. And not because it's the emo thing to do. I just can't stand those fuckers.
how reasonable is it to eat off wood instead of your tummy?
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 07:36 GMT
#95
i went to a party today.. i had one close friend there.. i would talk to ppl that my friend would talk to.. otherwise i would just be alone..

tomorrow i have another party to go to.. only one of my closer friends wants to go with me.. im afraid itll be the same..

most ppl drink n let their drunkeness allow them to act stupid and then other ppl laugh and that makes em social..

i stand at the side.. taking pictures.. attempting to converse.. but.. yea.. i guess im just naturally introverted.. but i do want to learn to talk to people more in group settings..

im not shy because i get embarassed, im not shy because i feel like i would say something stupid, i guess im really more quiet than shy.. because i cant think of things to say..

the gym is not the best place to converse with people.. i go several times a week and i never talk to anyone.. nobody talks in the gym..

i go to hip hop classes every friday.. sure i may say hi, whatdya think of the class, are you a student at berkeley, what got you interested, etc.. but there is a high likelihood i wont get to see that person again and also i dont get to talk to them that much..

i go to church on sundays.. just out of curiosity.. i do get another opportunity to talk to people there.. and people do approach me but.. i always forget peoples names.. and i forget the things theyve told me.. and i don't really know what is the best way to approach other people..

oh and.. i appreciate the help and the pms but i am not interested in making friends through the internet -_-a. im not comfortable with getting ppls ims n talking to them just to talk.. i usually would only do this if the person is a regular op cal person or the person is interested in going to my tournaments.. or if i meet the person in a bw event at first..
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 07:46 GMT
#96
--- Nuked ---
Cloud
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Sexico5880 Posts
December 01 2005 07:46 GMT
#97
Omg someone has just kidnapped mnm and tortured her until she gave her password of her tl.net account! . Not to worry though, I have a big suspect and i know where he lives.
Since it looks like something he would say.

Youre dead whiz!

:D

jk


No seriously mnm, you are asking for advice on becoming a pro football player when you are sorrounded by the worlds top chess players.
BlueLaguna on West, msg for game.
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 07:48 GMT
#98
--- Nuked ---
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 07:59 GMT
#99
I don't believe you. "more quiet than shy.. because i cant think of things to say.." There is no way you are standing there with nothing on your mind. Nobody has absolutely nothing going on upstairs. There must be something inhibiting you from saying what is on your mind. I think that the fact that you say that you can't think of things to say means that you can't think of INTERESTING things to say. I also think that you probably can come up with interesting things to say, you just put too high of a filter on what comes out of your mouth. You allege that the reason is not fear of embarassment of what you might say. Are you sure about that? Sometimes I know I have to keep quiet because if I spoke my mind, I would tell the person they were a dumbass. Sometimes I avoid talking about certain subjects because I am not very knowledgeable about the subject and am at least marginally embarassed about my lack of knowledge.

I do not think it comes down to lacking anything to say. I am sure you have something to say, but that you are just very cautious about speaking your mind. Everybody has something to say. Maybe you have just accepted the fact that you do not pay attention very well and since you don't pay attention very well, you tend to say inappropriate things. Or things at the wrong time, or things completely off-topic. So to avoid this outcome, you have subconsciously put a pretty high filter on what comes out of your mouth. High enough that you always put forth a lot of effort to think hard about what to say before saying it. Then you get caught thinking, when the other person is waiting for you to say something and the conversation ends.
Carbon FC
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 08:05 GMT
#100
--- Nuked ---
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 08:05 GMT
#101
--- Nuked ---
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 08:07 GMT
#102
ugh im so fuckin full..
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Cloud
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Sexico5880 Posts
December 01 2005 08:07 GMT
#103
I still think this is a joke and she is laughing her ass off to all the other people that openly declared being the "shy quiet antisocial introvert", aka. n.e.r.d.
BlueLaguna on West, msg for game.
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 08:08 GMT
#104
Haha, she spoke her mind! See that wasn't so bad.
Carbon FC
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 08:09 GMT
#105
--- Nuked ---
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 08:12 GMT
#106
I say stuff to people all the time that I don't really expect them to care about. Sometimes it gets people started talking to me. You can't go around expecting everyone to be highly critical of what you say and what you talk about. If you did, you'd never be willing to talk to anyone except established friends.
Carbon FC
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 08:12 GMT
#107
hey i am spewing out truths here.. i aint makin ne of this stuff up.. i think i need.. not alcohol.. but sobe energy.. or something like frapuccino thatll really wake me up.. so that i do get that active mind.. or w/e..

my bf is gosu social extrovert.. i wish i was like him
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 08:17 GMT
#108
--- Nuked ---
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 08:21 GMT
#109
u know.. this is one of the topics i talk about.. when i cant think of anything else to talk about.. i can go on for hours talking about how quiet i am.. ok maybe not hours.. but i can at least talk about it bec i talk about it so much
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 08:22 GMT
#110
--- Nuked ---
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 08:24 GMT
#111
Damn, i got pwned by Chibi . . .
I still think you just need to speak your mind and not worry about what other people think. Once you get in the habit of speaking your mind, you are better equipped to think quickly and react to other people.
Carbon FC
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 08:26 GMT
#112
--- Nuked ---
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 08:31 GMT
#113
Don't you ever think about idiot drivers, annoying parents, funny stories, good movies, bad fashion decisions, cute animals, . . . any light, fun topics that many people can relate to? My mom said the stupidest thing to me the other day, she told me that I should never date a Buddhist girl. I didn't even want to know her reasons. I mentioned it to my friend, he laughed at me for having to put up with crazy stuff like that from my Mom, but then he told me something stupid that his mom said.

Granted not everyone gets such a good source of comic relief from their parents, but there are tons of things that you can find in common with people and talk to them about.
Carbon FC
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 08:36 GMT
#114
thats another thing! most people my age have all these fun stories to tell about how life was like back in high school or college.. all the crazy things they did.. gosh.. i didn't do anything exciting back then.. nor did my friends back then.. no funny anecdotes here..
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
ManaBlue
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Canada10458 Posts
December 01 2005 08:40 GMT
#115
I think Chibi has this one nailed, but if there is one thing I can say with certainty that hasn't been mentioned and may shed some light on your social actions for you, it's this.

i go to church on sundays.. just out of curiosity.. i do get another opportunity to talk to people there.. and people do approach me but.. i always forget peoples names.. and i forget the things theyve told me..


Do you know why you forget their names and what they told you? Because you don't care. If you did, you'de remember, speak, form relationships, be approachable.

Everyone is selfconcious in public and in dealing with people they don't know. Ever notice that the people that get all the attention in a group are kind and happy and seem excited when they see people? And people just seem to gravitate toward them, like they don't even need to try to be popular? That's because they make people comfortable around them, and they form relationships with people that grow over time.

If you can't remember a person's name, or their story, why the fuck should they bother talking to you? You obviously don't give a shit.

Would you want to talk to a person like you? Someone who is so introverted and quiet that you can't understand what they are thinking, whether they like you around them, whether they can string enough words together to engage you socially? No. You wouldn't.

Think more about what you do in social situations, not what you aren't doing. That's where you'll find your answer.
ModeratorTL VOD legends: Live2Win, hasuprotoss, Cadical, rinizim, Mani, thedeadhaji, Kennigit, SonuvBob, yakii, fw, pheer, CDRdude, pholon, Uraeus, zatic, baezzi. The contributors make this site what it is. *Props to FakeSteve for respecting the guitar gods*
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 08:44 GMT
#116
well how the heck do u remembers ppls names esp when u meet a bunch of them at a time..

check out my gosu conversation skills:

(16:59:38) mnm: bzzt
(16:59:52) Peter: *swats the fly*
(16:59:57) mnm: =[
(17:00:05) Peter: :-)
(17:00:18) mnm: *pokes the rubber duckie*
(17:01:03) Peter: =[
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
December 01 2005 08:45 GMT
#117
--- Nuked ---
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 08:49 GMT
#118
Besides Starcraft what are 5 very important or interesting things to you?

I completely love soccer, when I play with people I love talking about the game, talking about my team's weaknesses, what we should have done better etc.
I like animals a lot. So I end up talking to people about animals. As long as it stays interesting, nobody ever has a problem with it. I told my friend about how a tree frog jumped on my foot or that I was harassing a juvenile alligator when I was in a kayak. I took a picture of an anole biting my hand. Even the stupid squirrels on campus provide inspiration, you can throw anything near them and they chase after it. I've thrown ice cubes, hot coals, sticks, acorns, apple cores . . . no matter what the squirrels chase it down and investigate it.
Maybe I am just a complainer but I do complain a lot about my mom. Other people can always relate because pretty much everybody gets pissed off by their mom or dad.

Okay well, I am not going to list 5 things, and you don't have to either, but there are obviously things which you care about and other people do too that you can talk with them about.
Carbon FC
ManaBlue
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Canada10458 Posts
December 01 2005 08:50 GMT
#119
On December 01 2005 17:44 mnm wrote:
well how the heck do u remembers ppls names esp when u meet a bunch of them at a time..

check out my gosu conversation skills:

(16:59:38) mnm: bzzt
(16:59:52) Peter: *swats the fly*
(16:59:57) mnm: =[
(17:00:05) Peter: :-)
(17:00:18) mnm: *pokes the rubber duckie*
(17:01:03) Peter: =[


You don't get what I'm saying do you?

The point is not "how to do" something. What I'm saying there mnm is that you claim to what to be a more engaging conversationalist. I believe this is a lie. I think you are ashamed of your history of social behavior and envy the "life of the party" so much that you what an artificial way to emulate them.

If you really wanted to talk to people...not talk AT them, or galavant around them, be the loud mouth one woman show...then you would speak to people and care about what they are telling you. Get to know them.

What the fuck is "meeting" people good for if you're doing it for the sake of "meeting" more people. If you do that you won't truely meet anyone. See what I mean?
ModeratorTL VOD legends: Live2Win, hasuprotoss, Cadical, rinizim, Mani, thedeadhaji, Kennigit, SonuvBob, yakii, fw, pheer, CDRdude, pholon, Uraeus, zatic, baezzi. The contributors make this site what it is. *Props to FakeSteve for respecting the guitar gods*
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 08:53 GMT
#120
--- Nuked ---
-_-
Profile Blog Joined November 2003
United States7081 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-01 08:54:24
December 01 2005 08:53 GMT
#121
On December 01 2005 13:51 FroST(TE) wrote:
i once read somewhere that if you cant stand on your knees and allow yourself to fall straight on your nose you'll never be not shy


Well yeah, if you can do that, people are going to ask you how you broke your nose.






Edit: OMG. You just said it wasn't an rpfish problem. AHHAAHAHAAHAHA.
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 08:57 GMT
#122
I guess I have more sympathy, for mnm because I don't necessarily think that it's a lack of wanting to be more social it's somewhat out of her control. Similar to her short attention span, I have something of a hearing problem. It has caused me to be shy in the past because when I would talk to people I wouldn't know what they were saying or I would have to ask them to repeat themselves. Sometimes I just laugh or smile and nod my head because I hear so poorly.

I am not even deaf or partially deaf, I just have difficulty listening even when I really want to.
Carbon FC
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 08:58 GMT
#123
i like it when ppl come up to me and they seem genuinely interested in me and they want to learn more about my interests and such.. i would like the ability to do the same.. i know deep inside each person.. there is a part of him or her that would interest me.. but i dont know how to dig to find that.. and it does take effort to do that.. thats why its so much easier to hang around ppl u already know and are already friends with.. it takes effort to get to know someone.. and with introverts it doesnt come easily.. i know each situation is diff tho.. i cant get one build order that will work for every person because every map and matchup is differrent.. and the situations change not only per person but also per game.. its alsoa problem i have in bw.. learning to come up with the right strategies throughout the game and adapting along the way
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 08:59 GMT
#124
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mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 09:00 GMT
#125
On December 01 2005 17:57 TruthBringer wrote:
Similar to her short attention span, I have something of a hearing problem. It has caused me to be shy in the past because when I would talk to people I wouldn't know what they were saying or I would have to ask them to repeat themselves. Sometimes I just laugh or smile and nod my head because I hear so poorly.

I am not even deaf or partially deaf, I just have difficulty listening even when I really want to.

hey me too o.O
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 09:00 GMT
#126
Well in the BW analysis then, practice, practice, practice.
Carbon FC
ManaBlue
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Canada10458 Posts
December 01 2005 09:04 GMT
#127
On December 01 2005 17:58 mnm wrote:
i like it when ppl come up to me and they seem genuinely interested in me and they want to learn more about my interests and such.. i would like the ability to do the same.. i know deep inside each person.. there is a part of him or her that would interest me.. but i dont know how to dig to find that.. and it does take effort to do that.. thats why its so much easier to hang around ppl u already know and are already friends with.. it takes effort to get to know someone.. and with introverts it doesnt come easily..


No, it doesn't. I never said there is a shiny golden nugget of goodness in every person. Am I from fairy land? Truth is, you won't like most people. Half or them are assholes and another chunk will seem weird to you. You can't and shouldn't be everyone's friend. After a 5 minute conversation you can tell if a person is someone that would interest you, so be discriminating. I coulda met 20 people at that party you were at and I might've cared enough to talk to a couple of them for more than the time it takes to finish my beer. So is life.

As for the "it takes too much effort to meet someone new" thing, I must restate my original point. You obviously don't give a shit about meeting people.



As for the rest of this, I'm not trying to be an asshole, but seriously I couldn't help but laugh.

i know each situation is diff tho.. i cant get one build order that will work for every person because every map and matchup is differrent.. and the situations change not only per person but also per game.. its alsoa problem i have in bw.. learning to come up with the right strategies throughout the game and adapting along the way
ModeratorTL VOD legends: Live2Win, hasuprotoss, Cadical, rinizim, Mani, thedeadhaji, Kennigit, SonuvBob, yakii, fw, pheer, CDRdude, pholon, Uraeus, zatic, baezzi. The contributors make this site what it is. *Props to FakeSteve for respecting the guitar gods*
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 09:08 GMT
#128
ah yea ok but i wanna give a shit
-_-a
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 09:08 GMT
#129
Manablue, you seem to have a very cynical worldview. Do you really think that you would hate many people if you truly understood them? I do not. People are to some extent a product of their circumstances. I don't really think most people are assholes. I think they try to be good and do the best that they can.
Carbon FC
cava
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
United States1035 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-01 09:16:56
December 01 2005 09:16 GMT
#130
mnm everything you have said about yourself actually sounds a lot like myself. What I find helpful is just put yourself out there. Even if its stupid say anything to initiate a conversation and things can spawn off the most random of topics. And hey if you ever need anyone to talk to you there's me right here ^^
cava!
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
December 01 2005 09:18 GMT
#131
--- Nuked ---
ManaBlue
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Canada10458 Posts
December 01 2005 09:18 GMT
#132
Ok ok ok TB, let's not get into a philosophical debate now. I was exaggerating to drive home the point that I didn't suggest she be everyone's friend. You gonna debate the validity of me living in fairy land too? For the record though, I would say there are many assholes out there. Maybe you've just had a string of good luck.



mnm, I'm not trying to come down on you here. I just saw this turning into a pity fest and wanted to bring you something useful. If you care, talk, that's it. You should be having fun. Socializing with people shouldn't feel like work.
ModeratorTL VOD legends: Live2Win, hasuprotoss, Cadical, rinizim, Mani, thedeadhaji, Kennigit, SonuvBob, yakii, fw, pheer, CDRdude, pholon, Uraeus, zatic, baezzi. The contributors make this site what it is. *Props to FakeSteve for respecting the guitar gods*
StarN
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States2587 Posts
December 01 2005 09:18 GMT
#133
it's a slow process. just put yourself in situations where you hang around people alot more and you'll slowly become less antisocial. (just a thought)
Retired BW Noob
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-01 09:22:47
December 01 2005 09:21 GMT
#134
im not looking for pity
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 09:22 GMT
#135
I concur with StarN and ManaBlue, particularly, "Socializing with people shouldn't feel like work." Talk about stuff that you care about.
Carbon FC
ManaBlue
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Canada10458 Posts
December 01 2005 09:24 GMT
#136
On December 01 2005 18:21 mnm wrote:
im not looking for pity


I never said you did.

Good luck, I'm out.
ModeratorTL VOD legends: Live2Win, hasuprotoss, Cadical, rinizim, Mani, thedeadhaji, Kennigit, SonuvBob, yakii, fw, pheer, CDRdude, pholon, Uraeus, zatic, baezzi. The contributors make this site what it is. *Props to FakeSteve for respecting the guitar gods*
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 09:25 GMT
#137
hffffffffffff
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 09:42 GMT
#138
--- Nuked ---
CorporalClegg
Profile Joined November 2005
United States52 Posts
December 01 2005 09:52 GMT
#139
On December 01 2005 17:58 mnm wrote:
i like it when ppl come up to me and they seem genuinely interested in me and they want to learn more about my interests and such.. i would like the ability to do the same.. i know deep inside each person.. there is a part of him or her that would interest me.. but i dont know how to dig to find that.. and it does take effort to do that.. thats why its so much easier to hang around ppl u already know and are already friends with.. it takes effort to get to know someone.. and with introverts it doesnt come easily.. i know each situation is diff tho.. i cant get one build order that will work for every person because every map and matchup is differrent.. and the situations change not only per person but also per game.. its alsoa problem i have in bw.. learning to come up with the right strategies throughout the game and adapting along the way

Best way is to just ask the person some basic questions to start off the conversation with a random person. This, usually, leads to conversations you never could have expected.
Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain. You are young and life is long, there is time to kill today. Then one day you find 10 years have gone behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 09:54 GMT
#140
what r basic question conversation starters/continuers? i got the hi whats your name thing down.. how are you for the 2nd meetings.. but then what next?
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22254 Posts
December 01 2005 09:56 GMT
#141
On December 01 2005 18:42 Chibi[OWNS] wrote:
besides, you have a lovely smile...just smile at people and let them do the talking..


Agreed, you do have a real cute smile. I think if you sit there, smile, get someone started, and just smile/look interested, you won't have to say too much.
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Armand Tamzarian
Profile Joined November 2005
Oman74 Posts
December 01 2005 09:58 GMT
#142
do drugs
QuietIdiot
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
7004 Posts
December 01 2005 10:02 GMT
#143
drugs and sex will only corrupt and make a person ugly
Smile + basic talk(Hi, my name is, how are you doing, etc) + cuteness = Pwnage
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 01 2005 10:09 GMT
#144
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Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-01 10:15:58
December 01 2005 10:15 GMT
#145
--- Nuked ---
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 10:21 GMT
#146
i think im gonna give up on the humor bit.. im not one least bit funny
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-01 10:24:02
December 01 2005 10:23 GMT
#147
--- Nuked ---
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 10:24 GMT
#148
How condescending . . . just smile, prettyface, no one cares what you have to say, just smile . . . haha.

As for "2nd conversation" topics, figure out what the person does with their free time. "What did you do this weekend?" "Any plans tonight?" See if they are like-minded person with you, ask about a favorite TV show, "hey have you ever gone [insert your interest]" paintballing, surfing, etc. If you want to be this person's friend, eventually you will probably want to do something to hang out with them. "My boyfriend and I are going hiking this weekend, would you like to come with?" Anything. In the United States, I strike out so often when I ask people if they are into soccer, but I keep asking anyways.
Carbon FC
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 01 2005 10:27 GMT
#149
how does one get into soccer? do you ask your friends to go kicking it when you want to play.. or do you bring your soccer ball to some wall n kick it there? do you just go to some random field or is there a soccer field at your school where you could just play any time? or are you in a team?

there was this one time i was talking to this guy and he even told me it started sounding like an interview cuz i would just ask him random questions o.O
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 10:29 GMT
#150
Sometimes I just run around kicking a soccer ball at a soccer field . . . eventually other people show up. But mostly, I get a group of at least 6 so we can play 3v3 or I just get some friends and then go where I know I can find opponents. It helps to be at a University with international students though . . .
Carbon FC
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 01 2005 10:30 GMT
#151
If you ask your questions one at a time it seems less like an interview
Carbon FC
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
December 01 2005 12:57 GMT
#152
--- Nuked ---
FroST(TE)
Profile Joined September 2004
United States909 Posts
December 01 2005 14:44 GMT
#153
On December 01 2005 14:12 brite wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 01 2005 13:51 FroST(TE) wrote:
i once read somewhere that if you can't stand on your knees and allow yourself to fall straight on your nose you'll never be not shy

where the fuck did you hear that??

its the idea that shyness is genetic. if you have what they call the shyness gene you will be unable to fall flat on your nose willingly as well -_-
PoorUser on LP
OhThatDang
Profile Joined August 2004
United States4685 Posts
December 01 2005 14:48 GMT
#154
hmm i still have troublez like mnm does T_T
if i start the convo i hope they would continue and i just respond but most of the times they dont..so its quiet until i get something going again
mainly cuz i dont wanna soun like an idiot/look like one by doing something i usually do?
troi oi thang map nai!!!
OhThatDang
Profile Joined August 2004
United States4685 Posts
December 01 2005 14:51 GMT
#155
hmm i still have troublez like mnm does T_T
if i start the convo i hope they would continue and i just respond but most of the times they dont..so its quiet until i get something going again
mainly cuz i dont wanna soun like an idiot/look like one by doing something i usually do?
troi oi thang map nai!!!
FroST(TE)
Profile Joined September 2004
United States909 Posts
December 01 2005 14:55 GMT
#156
i think essentially everything manablue said was right. i doubt your problem has to do with you not being able to think of anything to say. im sure you can talk with your friends for hours upon hours if you wanted. talking with strangers or aquaintances is little different. everybody stands on some kind of common ground. its not very hard to start a conversation with a stranger after you've done it enough times.
PoorUser on LP
Ready2[ESC]
Profile Joined October 2002
Hungary1436 Posts
December 01 2005 16:56 GMT
#157
uhm if you cant remember names well or remember storys it means you havent used your memory in a while. (outside of trivial things)
studying makes your mind sharp.
try doing some memory games once in a while or try to memorize short poems regulary. you would be suprised how this can help your memory and your ability to focus.

btw it seems clear that your main problem is that your not knowledgeable, you dont know a thing outside the bw world. you need to be aware of the world around you to be able to have a conversation that is more than your average "hi whats your hobby". you should watch news channels, read books, read newspapers and basically have an open mind for things.
you should also try new things out once in a while so atleast you can have an opinion about them. you dont need to be good in anything just have something to say about them.

if something comes up in a conversation and you dont know about it, try to ask quesitons and try to understand it, try to relate to things you know.
you can make friends fast if your a good listener. what makes a good listener? noding at the right moment, agreeing from time to time, smiling and basically trying to look interested.
you dont even have to talk a lot just need to be able to listen. (of course its better if you can contribute to the conversation but you need to know about the subject to do so )

btw I too agree that if your a semi decent looking woman then you can start conversations more easily (doesnt help in keeping them alive though)
--- Nuked ---
collegeBored
Profile Joined November 2002
United States1524 Posts
December 01 2005 17:44 GMT
#158
On December 01 2005 01:23 uhjoo wrote:
if anyone flames mnm in this thread they will immediately be banned

:-)
:-)

shes just attention whoring >.>
The stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, the wise forgive but never forget.
Ready2[ESC]
Profile Joined October 2002
Hungary1436 Posts
December 01 2005 17:46 GMT
#159
On December 02 2005 02:44 collegeBored wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 01 2005 01:23 uhjoo wrote:
if anyone flames mnm in this thread they will immediately be banned

:-)
:-)

shes just attention whoring >.>


and we are just bored
--- Nuked ---
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 02 2005 02:05 GMT
#160
On December 02 2005 02:44 collegeBored wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 01 2005 01:23 uhjoo wrote:
if anyone flames mnm in this thread they will immediately be banned

:-)
:-)

shes just attention whoring >.>

fuck you
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
a-game
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
Canada5085 Posts
December 02 2005 02:39 GMT
#161
you do seem rather melodramatic
you wouldnt feel that way if it was your magical sword of mantouchery that got stolen - racebannon • I am merely guest #13,678!
[X]Ken_D
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
United States4650 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-02 03:58:01
December 02 2005 03:25 GMT
#162
I think one of the easier ways to get friends interested in soccer would be to be good yourself. Like if you can do a bunch of freestyle juggles, it shows them one of the depth of soccer and make them think "wow. I never seen that before". Then let them try it and see how difficult it is.

There are always something to talk about in any situation even if you know nothing about that topic. You can start a conversation with a question.

example:

girl (at gym): i'm not sure if i'm doing this right, etc
muscular guy: oh yeah.. let me show you
girl (talks about guy): how long about you being doing this?


guy sees beautiful girl and sits next to her
guy (beginning of school): I heard this class is hard
prettiest girl in class i'm not sure yet, but i'll find out
guy(talks about girl): is this class you're taking for a major or minor
[X]Domain - I just do the website. Nothing more.
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36374 Posts
December 02 2005 03:29 GMT
#163
yeah so basically the key to making conversation is

a) act inept and get help
b) ask very unique questions like "whats your major"

i mean its fool proof how could you fail
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
[X]Ken_D
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
United States4650 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-02 03:56:39
December 02 2005 03:41 GMT
#164
that's not the key, but you don't see me complaining about the results > and I don't mean muscular guy .
[X]Domain - I just do the website. Nothing more.
ManaBlue
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Canada10458 Posts
December 02 2005 06:31 GMT
#165
On December 01 2005 23:44 FroST(TE) wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 01 2005 14:12 brite wrote:
On December 01 2005 13:51 FroST(TE) wrote:
i once read somewhere that if you can't stand on your knees and allow yourself to fall straight on your nose you'll never be not shy

where the fuck did you hear that??

its the idea that shyness is genetic. if you have what they call the shyness gene you will be unable to fall flat on your nose willingly as well -_-


Hahahaha.

On December 02 2005 12:29 Hot_Bid wrote:
yeah so basically the key to making conversation is

a) act inept and get help
b) ask very unique questions like "whats your major"

i mean its fool proof how could you fail


Pretty much sums up what I think of half of the advice in this thread.
ModeratorTL VOD legends: Live2Win, hasuprotoss, Cadical, rinizim, Mani, thedeadhaji, Kennigit, SonuvBob, yakii, fw, pheer, CDRdude, pholon, Uraeus, zatic, baezzi. The contributors make this site what it is. *Props to FakeSteve for respecting the guitar gods*
collegeBored
Profile Joined November 2002
United States1524 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-02 09:45:01
December 02 2005 09:44 GMT
#166
On December 02 2005 11:05 mnm wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 02 2005 02:44 collegeBored wrote:
On December 01 2005 01:23 uhjoo wrote:
if anyone flames mnm in this thread they will immediately be banned

:-)
:-)

shes just attention whoring >.>

fuck you
shh henry might get nervous

On December 02 2005 11:39 only)a-game wrote:
you do seem rather melodramatic

rooofl, yeah mnm is a major drama queen
The stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, the wise forgive but never forget.
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 02 2005 09:54 GMT
#167
-_- damn u unclefucker. drama queen my butt.
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
December 12 2005 10:11 GMT
#168
Just a few suggestions from The Ironman himself:

- Find people who share common interests with you through extracirrcular activities (High School or College)
- Carry an open mind with you no matter where you go, so if you get into a group or one-on-one situation you can strike up a conversation of whatever length you please
- Never be afraid to take a chance and ask somebody to hang out again just as friends
- Start hanging out with your sweet sweet cool Brood War friends, you clearly seem to have an interest in that. Branch out from there.

You only live once. You just can't sit there and let life walk right on by! Hang out with your friends when you have time available and make aquintances into friends.

A little alcohol definitely never hurts in starting up a convo with a girl either =D
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
Smurg
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Australia3818 Posts
December 12 2005 10:18 GMT
#169
What I've learned is that...

Having a job where you talk to customers a lot has helped me be able to talk to any random person.

Being at parties both sober and drunk help me talk to a lot more people and be comfortable.

Gogo.
[X]Ken_D
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
United States4650 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-12 10:34:50
December 12 2005 10:25 GMT
#170
I use to be a tutor in a big computer lab with friendly people. Before that, I use to be somewhat shy & quiet. The job required me to explain to people in a way they can relate. At night, a lot of them were adults with families.

It's a lot more rewarding job than something like customer service for a department store. The people are more grateful and educated. Sometimes, I would get drinks or invitation somewhere.

It also was a good place to meet girls
[X]Domain - I just do the website. Nothing more.
Tien
Profile Joined January 2003
Russian Federation4447 Posts
December 12 2005 10:34 GMT
#171
was this thread a joke?

mnm is a girl?

ive been living in the teamliquid hole for 2 years now
We decide our own destiny
JoeUser
Profile Joined April 2004
United States684 Posts
December 12 2005 11:42 GMT
#172
I hate all of you. You're asking BW nerds how not to be a BW nerd? Go be extroverted, you'll make a fool out of yourself sometimes but you'll probably get some friends. Just remember, this is only your teenage years and any stupid things you do won't matter.
Quote
baal
Profile Joined March 2003
10541 Posts
December 12 2005 12:05 GMT
#173
On December 12 2005 20:42 JoeUser wrote:
I hate all of you. You're asking BW nerds how not to be a BW nerd? Go be extroverted, you'll make a fool out of yourself sometimes but you'll probably get some friends. Just remember, this is only your teenage years and any stupid things you do won't matter.


And your advice is so valuable because you are the only non BW nerd on tl.net yes.
Im back, in pog form!
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 12 2005 12:15 GMT
#174
--- Nuked ---
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
December 12 2005 12:22 GMT
#175
ok here's my advice for female extroverts.

guys are supposed to be tricking you into having sex with them. why aren't they bothering with you?

A) you look too challenging, too much work
B) they don't even want to have sex with you
C) they're gay nerds

if it's A, be more slutty
if it's B, be more slutty
if it's C, be more slutty somewhere else.

i think that about covers it.

now u might be thinking "no, i want friendship, live life the lovely for the shield battery" or whatever. that's exactly what i'm talking about. what i mean by "tricking u into having sex" is when mens are all friendly, being your friend, "being interested" in what u have to say, liking to be around you, etc. it's a mutal exchange. you get to believe its all care and attention, while he gets u to believe that for sex.

but u have to start this exchange first. seriously. men might not even know this is what they're doing. but anyways. simple. look sluttier. then you'll find being an introvert is much harder, you will be shyly giggling in no time.

also if being sluttier doesnt work. try to be around guys that have consumed some alcohol.
express yourself--madonna
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-12 12:26:03
December 12 2005 12:25 GMT
#176
--- Nuked ---
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 12 2005 12:38 GMT
#177
o.O why on earth did this thread just suddenly revive..
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22254 Posts
December 12 2005 12:41 GMT
#178
On December 12 2005 21:38 mnm wrote:
o.O why on earth did this thread just suddenly revive..


Because you still need the help..



Or because of IronMentality, one of the two.
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9947 Posts
December 12 2005 13:41 GMT
#179
we want to prevent you from becoming some psycho
unless you'll assault testie on your way to prison
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
December 12 2005 14:00 GMT
#180
On December 12 2005 21:41 EvilTeletubby wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 12 2005 21:38 mnm wrote:
o.O why on earth did this thread just suddenly revive..


Because you still need the help..



Or because of IronMentality, one of the two.


EvilTeletubby, still doing his thing. Long time no see. =D
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
December 12 2005 14:08 GMT
#181
a derp a doop uh tiddly tum de doop
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
nicetoknowyou15
Profile Joined December 2005
Jamaica185 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-12 15:14:39
December 12 2005 15:13 GMT
#182
Here's my challenge to everyone who is (a) shy (b) afraid of meeting women,
and/or (c) not getting any women, or (d) not getting enough women.

This simple little challenge will (a) eliminate your fear of women, (b)
show you that you don't have to play any tricks to get and have them.

Ready?

Tomorrow, or Saturday, or Sunday, groom and dress yourself real nice.
I'm *not* asking anyone to put on any suits, or ties, or jackets
(unless that is your comfortable style), but rather dress in your own
comfortable, natural way, wearing clean and at least reasonably pressed
clothes. Then drive to the nearest shopping mall/center and walk
around looking and damn near everything. As you're doing so, say "hi"
and give a smile to every woman who passes you by, and who is next to
you, and who is in front of you, or whatever. The smile doesn't have
to be this big cheesy grin, but whatever is your normal, comfortable
way of smiling. {Any kind of smile shows you're not depressed, nor
someone to be afraid of.}

Doing *nothing* else but giving a simple smile and "hi" to everyone,
you come back here on Monday and tell me that not *one* woman stopped
dead in her tracks to say some things to you after you did nothing more
then smile and say "hi".

A simple smile and "hello" to everyone. Cost nothing, takes no time,
won't hurt anyone. Yet I'll bet most of you will *rationalize* out
some reason(s) why you can't do this, and/or it's not good, and/or all
kinds of other things, and then come back here looking for that magical
pill advice, that will bring you all the women you want.

Guess what?

I just gave you the "magical pill" advice. If you can't or won't say
"hi" to everyone with a smile (so they quickly see they have nothing to
be afraid of), NOTHING anyone can give you will work.

Now get out there and prove me wrong. I dare you!
im not drivin fast mdog, im flyin low, zimme?
-DaJ-
Profile Joined April 2004
Switzerland539 Posts
December 12 2005 15:21 GMT
#183
how dare you to dare me?
Dear God, my brilliance is becoming a bit of a burden.
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 12 2005 15:44 GMT
#184
--- Nuked ---
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
December 12 2005 17:18 GMT
#185
Whoever started this thread, I forgot my most key piece of advice:

Memorize "It's Not Unusual" by Tom Jones, and sing that in public as loud as you can

Then you will be loved by your countrymen.
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
Smurg
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Australia3818 Posts
December 12 2005 17:45 GMT
#186
Even though Tom Jones is Welsh.
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-12 17:50:15
December 12 2005 17:48 GMT
#187
On December 13 2005 02:45 Smurg wrote:
Even though Tom Jones is Welsh.


I am aware Tom Jones is Welsh...

And he's also the greatest showman in the history of the UNIVERSE!

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, whoaaaaaaa, whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, SHE'S A LADY!
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
Smurg
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Australia3818 Posts
December 12 2005 17:52 GMT
#188
You're just jealous because I'm skilled with a bow-staff.
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-12 18:12:16
December 12 2005 18:11 GMT
#189
[image loading]


Owned.
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
collegeBored
Profile Joined November 2002
United States1524 Posts
December 12 2005 19:16 GMT
#190
On December 12 2005 21:22 mitsy wrote:
ok here's my advice for female extroverts.

guys are supposed to be tricking you into having sex with them. why aren't they bothering with you?

A) you look too challenging, too much work
B) they don't even want to have sex with you
C) they're gay nerds

if it's A, be more slutty
if it's B, be more slutty
if it's C, be more slutty somewhere else.

i think that about covers it.

now u might be thinking "no, i want friendship, live life the lovely for the shield battery" or whatever. that's exactly what i'm talking about. what i mean by "tricking u into having sex" is when mens are all friendly, being your friend, "being interested" in what u have to say, liking to be around you, etc. it's a mutal exchange. you get to believe its all care and attention, while he gets u to believe that for sex.

but u have to start this exchange first. seriously. men might not even know this is what they're doing. but anyways. simple. look sluttier. then you'll find being an introvert is much harder, you will be shyly giggling in no time.

also if being sluttier doesnt work. try to be around guys that have consumed some alcohol.

qft.
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
The stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, the wise forgive but never forget.
Konni
Profile Blog Joined February 2003
Germany3044 Posts
December 12 2005 19:53 GMT
#191
On December 13 2005 04:16 collegeBored wrote:
qft.
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

This is absolutely amazing! Thank you sir
BoY
Profile Joined November 2003
France378 Posts
December 12 2005 20:18 GMT
#192
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote:
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..


Theatrical Improvisation
What i like is when you are looking and thinking and looking and thinking...and then suddenly you wake up.
alphaentity
Profile Joined August 2005
United States525 Posts
December 12 2005 20:22 GMT
#193
Ladder theory is pretty funny...surprised you haven't seen it before.
nicetoknowyou15
Profile Joined December 2005
Jamaica185 Posts
December 13 2005 06:16 GMT
#194
The ladder theory is based on what girls SAY that are attracted to/think about relationships.

I guess no one here has realized yet that girls don't know what the hell they want.
im not drivin fast mdog, im flyin low, zimme?
ChoboCop
Profile Joined July 2004
United States954 Posts
December 13 2005 06:23 GMT
#195
"So, you come here often?" Works everytime.
Critical thinking is the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered.
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
December 13 2005 06:51 GMT
#196
The ladder theory was a good read. That explains why
[image loading]
this man always got with Elizabeth!

OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH!
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28664 Posts
December 13 2005 07:01 GMT
#197
nicetoknowyou I agree with that but I heard of a guy in new york who got killed cause some boyfriend got pissed cause he perceived him to be flirting with his girlfriend

I tend to smile at mostly everyone who walks past me unless there are too many people tho, guy or girl. makes everyone's day a little bit brighter, including my own. ^_^
Moderator
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 13 2005 07:32 GMT
#198
--- Nuked ---
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
December 13 2005 07:39 GMT
#199
yeah seriously. i do my best to not make eye contact with people unless i would actually want to talk to them. too bad people on the internet don't have eyes.
express yourself--madonna
Jim
Profile Joined November 2003
Sweden1965 Posts
December 13 2005 08:14 GMT
#200
mitsy got the best advice really. If you want to meet guys. Be more slutty. Its a lock.
To sup with the mighty ones, one must climb the path of daggers.
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 13 2005 08:23 GMT
#201
As far as I could tell she is not looking to meet guys. She wants to be more extroverted, talking to girls and guys. I think being more slutty is absolutely not the way to go. You shouldn't have to pretend to be something you are not.
Carbon FC
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 13 2005 08:43 GMT
#202
--- Nuked ---
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-13 08:45:00
December 13 2005 08:44 GMT
#203
--- Nuked ---
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22254 Posts
December 13 2005 09:12 GMT
#204
On December 13 2005 04:53 Konni wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 13 2005 04:16 collegeBored wrote:
qft.
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

This is absolutely amazing! Thank you sir


OMG that is awesome.
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
brite
Profile Joined January 2005
United Kingdom253 Posts
December 14 2005 09:18 GMT
#205
On December 13 2005 00:13 nicetoknowyou15 wrote:
Here's my challenge to everyone who is (a) shy (b) afraid of meeting women,
and/or (c) not getting any women, or (d) not getting enough women.

This simple little challenge will (a) eliminate your fear of women, (b)
show you that you don't have to play any tricks to get and have them.

Ready?

Tomorrow, or Saturday, or Sunday, groom and dress yourself real nice.
I'm *not* asking anyone to put on any suits, or ties, or jackets
(unless that is your comfortable style), but rather dress in your own
comfortable, natural way, wearing clean and at least reasonably pressed
clothes. Then drive to the nearest shopping mall/center and walk
around looking and damn near everything. As you're doing so, say "hi"
and give a smile to every woman who passes you by, and who is next to
you, and who is in front of you, or whatever. The smile doesn't have
to be this big cheesy grin, but whatever is your normal, comfortable
way of smiling. {Any kind of smile shows you're not depressed, nor
someone to be afraid of.}

Doing *nothing* else but giving a simple smile and "hi" to everyone,
you come back here on Monday and tell me that not *one* woman stopped
dead in her tracks to say some things to you after you did nothing more
then smile and say "hi".

A simple smile and "hello" to everyone. Cost nothing, takes no time,
won't hurt anyone. Yet I'll bet most of you will *rationalize* out
some reason(s) why you can't do this, and/or it's not good, and/or all
kinds of other things, and then come back here looking for that magical
pill advice, that will bring you all the women you want.

Guess what?

I just gave you the "magical pill" advice. If you can't or won't say
"hi" to everyone with a smile (so they quickly see they have nothing to
be afraid of), NOTHING anyone can give you will work.

Now get out there and prove me wrong. I dare you!

well great wtf is it good for if u smile at everyone.
i mean ok i don't say hi to every1 i see but to every1 i know, and i smile.
but that doesn't help me shit. great i smile at people they smile back, i say hi they say hi and then
i talk about some random shit until i don't know what to say anymore and by then it's mostly too late, cuz they're bored as hell.
i just can't think of enough rdm bullshit to talk about to people.
the other day i was at a party and i was talking to this girl and i just had no idea what to say.
i kinda like her and she doesn't exactly hate me, we danced talked, had a drink and talked a bit,
it must be said that she's shy, but still that's no reason for me to stop talking.
i kept eye-contact all the time and shit like that but after a while we just both sat there silent.
i was so deperate i actually thought about fooling around with her just to stop the aukward silence.
i am not really attracted to her so that's why i'm saying this.
if u talk to a girl wtf do u say??
i mean after like 5 min of talking i was just empty...
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
December 14 2005 09:25 GMT
#206
--- Nuked ---
nicetoknowyou15
Profile Joined December 2005
Jamaica185 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-14 09:37:40
December 14 2005 09:27 GMT
#207
On December 13 2005 16:01 Liquid`Drone wrote:
nicetoknowyou I agree with that but I heard of a guy in new york who got killed cause some boyfriend got pissed cause he perceived him to be flirting with his girlfriend


I heard about this guy that died from snowboarding. That didn't stop me from trying it.

You only live life once, might as well have some fun!



Oh and Brite ... I dont smile and say hi to everyone either, that advice is more like a "mission," not a way to live everyday life, although there's nothing wrong with living like that ... people that do usually have more friends than a prom queen, although it does get exhausting!!

Rather, I say hi to people that I want to ... ie fine women

Doing the little mission I described will prepare people to talk to girls ... and turn sexual tension into something an emotion that's exciting rather than makes you nervous.

P.S.... if you have no shyness talking to girls, than there's no need for you to do the mission I described,

.. PM if you have no trouble saying hi to girls, but have trouble holding conversation. Got some advice for that to >
im not drivin fast mdog, im flyin low, zimme?
brite
Profile Joined January 2005
United Kingdom253 Posts
December 14 2005 09:32 GMT
#208
On December 14 2005 18:25 Chibi[OWNS] wrote:
"so........do u like the internet?"

don't know if u mean me but i'm just posting here for some advice.
it's not as so i spend much time on the internet, but i wouldn't say i don't like it.
i just came back from jet another party where i was rather bored in the end, inspite being rather drunk, and not talking alot, so i htought i'd post here.
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
December 14 2005 10:27 GMT
#209
compliment a women's features and then take her to a $500 dinner
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
Kaotu
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States986 Posts
December 14 2005 10:32 GMT
#210
On December 14 2005 19:27 IronMentality wrote:
compliment a women's features and then take her to a $500 dinner


...or just compliment a woman's features and hand her $500. They're called hookers.
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 14 2005 11:56 GMT
#211
i have no problem saying hi. holding a conversation is another thing. o.Oa.
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
December 14 2005 12:11 GMT
#212
On December 14 2005 19:32 Kaotu wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 14 2005 19:27 IronMentality wrote:
compliment a women's features and then take her to a $500 dinner


...or just compliment a woman's features and hand her $500. They're called hookers.


That's too easy, I prefer the Lobster Tail Challenge
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
ahk-gosu
Profile Joined July 2004
Korea (South)2099 Posts
December 14 2005 12:15 GMT
#213
ignore what people think about you. be yourself. change only for yourself and only change in a way you think is positive.
Micro.Macro.Scouting.Harassment.
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
December 14 2005 15:03 GMT
#214
On December 14 2005 21:15 ahk-gosu wrote:
ignore what people think about you. be yourself. change only for yourself and only change in a way you think is positive.


Bingo
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
cruel)angel
Profile Joined February 2005
Philippines253 Posts
December 14 2005 16:24 GMT
#215
On December 13 2005 18:12 EvilTeletubby wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 13 2005 04:53 Konni wrote:
On December 13 2005 04:16 collegeBored wrote:
qft.
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

This is absolutely amazing! Thank you sir


OMG that is awesome.

I agree..
i die, i die, but ill kill you first
brite
Profile Joined January 2005
United Kingdom253 Posts
December 14 2005 17:39 GMT
#216
On December 14 2005 21:15 ahk-gosu wrote:
ignore what people think about you. be yourself. change only for yourself and only change in a way you think is positive.

easier said than done

On December 14 2005 18:27 nicetoknowyou15 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 13 2005 16:01 Liquid`Drone wrote:
nicetoknowyou I agree with that but I heard of a guy in new york who got killed cause some boyfriend got pissed cause he perceived him to be flirting with his girlfriend

.. PM if you have no trouble saying hi to girls, but have trouble holding conversation. Got some advice for that to >

so what is that advice ??
Smurg
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Australia3818 Posts
December 14 2005 20:24 GMT
#217
nicetoknowyou15 is about to say.

For all this information and more! Add me artoflogan@hotmail.com

For all of those who don't know what that refers to, then go and see my thread that's IN THE HALL OF FAME "I need help...very badly."
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
December 14 2005 23:56 GMT
#218
lol ignore what people think about you?

i agree that probably:
A - what you think people think about you
B - what you do in response to these thoughts

either A or B or both is wrong. but ignoring A altogether to stop the chain is probably stupid too and just a new, more retarded form of B. the issue is _changing_ A or B to something better.
express yourself--madonna
CoralReefer
Profile Joined June 2004
Canada2069 Posts
December 15 2005 00:08 GMT
#219
On December 15 2005 01:24 cruel)angel wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 13 2005 18:12 EvilTeletubby wrote:
On December 13 2005 04:53 Konni wrote:
On December 13 2005 04:16 collegeBored wrote:
qft.
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

This is absolutely amazing! Thank you sir


OMG that is awesome.

I agree..


this has changed my life
And this hot potato has vanished into thin air.
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 15 2005 00:38 GMT
#220
I think that ladder thing is bs.. but perhaps only bec it doesn't apply to me..
i hope you guys dont think they meant it to be taken seriously.. o.Oa
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
ahk-gosu
Profile Joined July 2004
Korea (South)2099 Posts
December 15 2005 00:39 GMT
#221
what i meant is. dont let peoples judgement about you hinder or slow you down. i didnt mean you can make an ass of yourself and it dont matter what they think.
Micro.Macro.Scouting.Harassment.
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
December 15 2005 00:48 GMT
#222
On December 15 2005 09:38 mnm wrote:
I think that ladder thing is bs.. but perhaps only bec it doesn't apply to me..
i hope you guys dont think they meant it to be taken seriously.. o.Oa


what girls think of what they do and what they do are pretty different things, i've found
express yourself--madonna
CoralReefer
Profile Joined June 2004
Canada2069 Posts
December 15 2005 01:43 GMT
#223
so mnm, have you made any progress yet ?
And this hot potato has vanished into thin air.
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 15 2005 01:54 GMT
#224
On December 15 2005 09:48 mitsy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 15 2005 09:38 mnm wrote:
I think that ladder thing is bs.. but perhaps only bec it doesn't apply to me..
i hope you guys dont think they meant it to be taken seriously.. o.Oa


what girls think of what they do and what they do are pretty different things, i've found

str_replace("girls","guys""people",$str);
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 15 2005 01:58 GMT
#225
On December 15 2005 10:43 ml1710 wrote:
so mnm, have you made any progress yet ?

i made one female friend.. i think.. i went shopping with her and she got me a dress for my company Christmas party. everyone loved the dress ^^. um.. i still stare at the floor when i walk though.. and i even keep my hood on so u can barely see my eyes.. but i dont care much for interaction with random strangers in the street anyway. i think i can hold 1v1 conversations in gatherings/party settings.. but my 1v1 is inconsistent.. sometimes i do well, sometimes i perform poorly. my team game needs some work though but i guess theres less pressure for me to talk during that circumstance.. i jus end up staying in the background n laughing.. hmm.. in clubs the situation is very awkward.. i dont think that is a good place to make friends at all.
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
December 15 2005 02:28 GMT
#226
It's under my impression you live in California. This is not a flame, but if you do live there - Why the hell are you walking around town in California with your hood covering your entire face for? Do you not like the nutritional factor of natural vitamins being produced when sunlight hits your face?!

That would just seem weird to me in a climate where it's 70 degrees and sunny everyday.
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 15 2005 02:34 GMT
#227
its winter! its fucking cold! its 52 degrees right now n my hands r freezing just cuz the backdoor is slightly ajar cuz theres a cord going between the doors cuz theres construction going on.. im in SF. socal gets the 24/7 warm weather..
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
XaI)CyRiC
Profile Joined October 2002
United States4471 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-15 04:48:05
December 15 2005 04:46 GMT
#228
I haven't read the whole thread, so forgive me if I'm repeating things.

I am naturally quite shy, but have learned to get over it. One thing that helped me a lot in terms of talking to people I don't know was working at the front desk of my dad's business. On one hand, I built friendships with my co-workers, and, on the other, I was forced to talk to strangers everyday because it was my job. When it comes to shyness, you really have to find a way to force yourself to come out of your shell because it's too easy to default back to your anti-social tendencies. It also helps to have friends who will support and help you, it's easier to put yourself out there when you have people you are comfortable with around.

Clubs and bars are not ideal places for shy people for a variety of reasons, unless you plan on following the very popular method of using alcohol to overcome your shyness. If you're looking to meet new people, the best way is to meet them through existing friends. There's an initial filter that makes it more likely that you'll have something in common with the new people, and you'll have your friend to help introduce you and make you comfortable in the setting.

When it comes to actual interaction, it just comes down to finding something you and the other person can talk about. Whether it's something you agree upon or something you can have a friendly debate about, just something that interests both parties. Smiling and not looking at the floor or ceiling can help to make the other person think you're interested in your interaction.

Don't think that helps much, but just my two cents. Oh, and So Cal IS much better than No Cal in terms of warmer weather, although both are probably better as compared to other areas. As any other TL.netter would, I would be glad to meet up and hang out if you ever drive into the LA area. You have a network already in place to begin meeting people and being more social. With TL.net you have friends waiting for you in almost every part of the world, may as well take advantage of it
Moderator
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9947 Posts
December 15 2005 05:05 GMT
#229
baal will scare the shit out of her
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-15 05:46:32
December 15 2005 05:12 GMT
#230
lol. tl.net ppl r no prob.. theyre like instant friends usually. hehe.

working in a place where u have to talk to strangers as part of your job doesn't help. i've done that. i worked in a computer lab as a computer consultant/assistant/student computer consulting services.. its completely different because its not like you try to engage yourself in conversation with them.. you aren't trying to find topics to talk about bec u already have that ("whats the problem with your computer" ).. it doesn't really help social skills much.
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Tycho
Profile Joined April 2003
Netherlands351 Posts
December 15 2005 05:30 GMT
#231
hmm i'll give this advice stuff one shot: i guess you should start liking yourself more and show your confidence to others. it's okay to talk about yourself (in combination with the 'random stuff')

others will notice your own confidence and your 'being happy with yourself' in all the random conversation --> and they will contribute more to the conversation --> you will have more to talk about --> you'll find out that conversation isn't something you 'try' , it just flows from the basic stuff, almost every conversation starts 'randomly' : just either start talking a bit about urself or / and the other person or / and the things around you confidently !

i guess what i just said is body language helps (don't TRY being confident, BE confident)
Just enjoy!
Resse
Profile Joined December 2004
307 Posts
December 15 2005 05:42 GMT
#232
Lol poor girl.
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 15 2005 05:47 GMT
#233
=p shush twitt
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Sadist
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States7225 Posts
December 15 2005 05:47 GMT
#234
if you are physically attractive (which you are by almost anyones standards) and are intelligent (which you probably are) theres no reason for you to be shy around anyone (probably has been posted before!) I dunno if that really helps and you have probably heard it before but its the truth ;p If you are shy and its due to lack of self confidence there may be something deeper there because there is nothing wrong with you aesthetically (sp) and maybe you need totake care of that first =)
How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal and you have to be willing to work for it. Jim Valvano
collegeBored
Profile Joined November 2002
United States1524 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-15 05:55:47
December 15 2005 05:47 GMT
#235
On December 15 2005 09:38 mnm wrote:
I think that ladder thing is bs.. but perhaps only bec it doesn't apply to me..
i hope you guys dont think they meant it to be taken seriously.. o.Oa

would u mind explaining how that doesn't apply to you lol

to quote the "bible":
ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he?

as for whether or not it was meant to be taken seriously, again, to quote him: "nothing is JUST satire", so while there are obviously exceptions to every rule, the theory still holds true to extreme majority of occasions
The stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, the wise forgive but never forget.
ManaBlue
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Canada10458 Posts
December 15 2005 05:49 GMT
#236
On December 12 2005 23:08 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
a derp a doop uh tiddly tum de doop


And he's about to find out...that being 8, ain't so great.

Rob Schnider is...Kenny.

On December 15 2005 09:38 mnm wrote:
I think that ladder thing is bs.. but perhaps only bec it doesn't apply to me..
i hope you guys dont think they meant it to be taken seriously.. o.Oa


Obviously you feel that way. All girls do, that's the point. It's actually written into the ladder if you read it.
ModeratorTL VOD legends: Live2Win, hasuprotoss, Cadical, rinizim, Mani, thedeadhaji, Kennigit, SonuvBob, yakii, fw, pheer, CDRdude, pholon, Uraeus, zatic, baezzi. The contributors make this site what it is. *Props to FakeSteve for respecting the guitar gods*
funkie
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Venezuela9374 Posts
December 15 2005 06:03 GMT
#237
On November 30 2005 22:07 mitsy wrote:
want a build order?



Holy fucking shit, I laughed at this like 3 mins in a row today, omfg ! ! >.<!!


Gettin' into the topic, I was like you, and I still am, but there are "rare" times when I drop my shyness somewhere, and I became soo relaxed with everything, I mean at parties I usually am A shy guy who just talks with their friends, recently, I went to this party, and I think I forgot about my shyness and I was all cool and relaxed, and was fucking amazingly funny with everyone, even with the people I do not even know.

I think that way is cooler and it is better for you, cuz you learn that you have to be yourself, instead of being all inside yourself and not talking to others.
CJ Entusman #6! · Strength is the basis of athletic ability. -Rippetoe /* http://j.mp/TL-App <- TL iPhone App 2.0! */
CuddlyCuteKitten
Profile Joined January 2004
Sweden2609 Posts
December 15 2005 06:09 GMT
#238
I find clubs annoying because the music generally makes it hard to talk to people. I don't think it's a good place to get friends. I'd suggest trying to place yourself in social situations that you dislike extremly much because once your there you have to talk your way out of them.
I wouldn't really know though, I'm extremly extroverted so when I feel stressed out and insecure I tend to find people to talk to as a comfort (I'm probably quite annoying).
So I have no real problem talking to random people except the standard Swedish Problem.
(You Americans start talking to strangers about the weirdest things...
And also in situations where I just go wtf? like on public transports and in resturants and stuff like that.)
waaaaaaaaaaaooooow - Felicia, SPF2:T
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 15 2005 06:55 GMT
#239
o hey guys i have a situation for u.. say u get to meet ur bw god (yellow in my case).. you know they dont speak much korean but you have a translator close by.. what would you talk to them about? what would you say? and even if they spoke in english.. what is there to say?
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
December 15 2005 07:07 GMT
#240
no, i meant girls more than the average. i.e. girls more than guys. it's like if i say "girls are short" it obviously means "compared to guys". OBViously, in general, people are tall, if ur comparing them to, oh i dunno.. ants. but we're not. so wtf saying "people do xxxx" means nothing. when i say "women think xxxxxxx" it's compared to men.
express yourself--madonna
LetMeBeWithYou
Profile Joined August 2004
Canada4254 Posts
December 15 2005 07:12 GMT
#241
On December 15 2005 09:39 ahk-gosu wrote:
what i meant is. dont let peoples judgement about you hinder or slow you down. i didnt mean you can make an ass of yourself and it dont matter what they think.


ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Kinda like you huh
All Those beneath an angry star
Smurg
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Australia3818 Posts
December 15 2005 10:28 GMT
#242
On December 15 2005 15:55 mnm wrote:
o hey guys i have a situation for u.. say u get to meet ur bw god (yellow in my case).. you know they dont speak much korean but you have a translator close by.. what would you talk to them about? what would you say? and even if they spoke in english.. what is there to say?

Yellow doesn't speak much Korean? I'd be surprised.

Usually a conversation flows...>.< It's not based on thinking what to say usually...if it's a casual/social conversation you just speak about something general...i.e. "Hi how's it going?" Then someone will usually say..."Oh not too bad, I just had a bad day at work...damn boss."

Me: "Why what's your boss up to?"
Them: "Fucker makes me work overtime almost everyday."
Me: "That's a bitch, you should stab him."
Them: "Haha I feel like it."
Me: "Well I dunno, is there anything you can do about it?"
Them: "I think I'll apply for another job...this one kinda sucks, I have to do all this shit menial labour all day...pushing papers...printing."
Me: "Yeah that sucks, me...I just want to win the lottery. :D"
Them: "Yeah man, so do 10000000 other people."
Me: "Oh well...I want to win it more, thus my chances of winning are increased."
Them: "Haha yeah, that's how it works for sure. "
Me: "It's good to dream you BASTARD, IT'S GOOD TO DREAM."
Them: "Caps lock is auto-pilot for cool."
Me: "o rly?"
Them: "Haha, newb. We need something original."
Me: "How about...you're a medieval vagina...haha."
Them: "Wtf dude, I am definitely not a medieval vagina...wtf is that anyway?"
Me: "Haha it looks like this |<+>|"
Them: "...."
Me: "Meh, who cares...all that matters is that you are one."
Them: "Bear shit."
Me: "Bullshit ran out?"
Them: "No, it's just that bear shit is more micro-intensive."
Me: "Yeah, since like Boxer is well renowned for his bear shit micro."
Them: "Haha, well it's not really like horse shit or llama shit is going to do the job."
Me: "Oh well, you can't win them all. You spend a whole day at work and all you get is bear shit."
Them: "Such is life."
Me: "C'est la vie."
Them: "Wtf did you call me?"
Me: "It's French you mole."
Them: "Oh right...for what? Bear shit?"
Me: "No it means, suck is life.
Me: "such*"
Them: "Haha suck is life, sounds like a porn site."
Me: "Well obviously you'd know about all the male porn industry websites."
Them: "Hey bitch, I said SOUNDS LIKE, SOUNDS LIKE. I just made it up, if it is one then so be it."
Me: "Haha, why don't you go and check? You're obviously interested in the area."
Them: "Man, I don't need this after a hard day of work...I need a cold beer."
Me: "You'd prefer a warm cock though, faggy mcfaggerson."
Them: "...."
Me: "Sorry that was a low-blow...(much like on your male porn sites)
Them: "Seriously dude thats enough now. "
Me: "My bad."
Them: "Ok...so anyhow...let's go over there and get something to eat...then we can walk around being cool."
Me: "Sweet."


Whereas with Yellow in real life you might approach him with:

mnm: "Hey it's cool to finally meet you. I'm one of your biggest fans outside of Korea."
Yellow: "-_- kk gl gl"
mnm: "Excuse me?"
Yellow: "-______- me chobo man"
mnm: "Uhh...ok."
Yellow: "T_______T me no good, me control today very chobo, hasu, you are gosu ^_^ please."
mnm: "I was just saying how much of a fan I am of you."
Yellow: "runa, runa gogo."
mnm: "Man, I was trying to start a conversation with you...why must you do this to me?"
Yellow: "sorry me arm full of tiredness"
mnm: "Look, I have a translator here now...now we can talk. :D"
Yellow: "gl hf gg"
mnm: "So Yellow, how've you been? Would you like a drink? Perhaps coffee...I know a good place."
Yellow: "Ah, finally I can spread my wings and learn to fly. The inherent problem with my English is that I can not properly express myself openly and honestly. I would positively abhor myself if I did not accompany you to ye olde coffee shoppe for some pleasant potables."
mnm: "Whoa...gosu."
Yellow: "Please, enough flattery...mayhaps we shall proceed to the shop where we shall purchase coffee with the ambivalent textures of the Moroccan mountains."
mnm: "I was going to ask you a few questions about your life as a progamer."
Yellow: "That's all that anyone every asks me, perhaps you shall be the first to ask me about more important matters."
mnm: "Am I getting laid tonight?"
Yellow: "Darn tootin'"
mnm: "chogosu"
Yellow: "gl hf."

Well despite the burlesque dialogue as exhibited in my post...you just go with the flow...talk about things...use references to things and use humour...and shit. It's easy.
CoralReefer
Profile Joined June 2004
Canada2069 Posts
December 15 2005 11:17 GMT
#243
great post,
even though you made up super long hypothetical conversations
And this hot potato has vanished into thin air.
TruthBringer
Profile Joined November 2003
United States578 Posts
December 15 2005 11:45 GMT
#244
I liked it better when Yellow's answers were all nonsense and starcraft typing
Carbon FC
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
December 15 2005 12:16 GMT
#245
Start referring to yourself as "Regis" in public and you will become the social queen of the United States.
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
XaI)CyRiC
Profile Joined October 2002
United States4471 Posts
December 15 2005 14:34 GMT
#246
On December 15 2005 14:12 mnm wrote:
lol. tl.net ppl r no prob.. theyre like instant friends usually. hehe.

working in a place where u have to talk to strangers as part of your job doesn't help. i've done that. i worked in a computer lab as a computer consultant/assistant/student computer consulting services.. its completely different because its not like you try to engage yourself in conversation with them.. you aren't trying to find topics to talk about bec u already have that ("whats the problem with your computer" ).. it doesn't really help social skills much.


Well it's good that you consider TL.net people to be instant friends because there are quite a lot of them. Bottom line though, work from what you know and grow from there. It's easier to build on a strong foundation than just randomly picking a spot different from usual and trying to construct something you've never tried. Take whatever group of friends you have now and branch out from them.

As to the working where you have to talk to strangers helping you, I was referring more to the "approach" portion. I think most people, once they've broken the ice and started a conversation with a person, will be okay as long as there's SOME common interest between the two (most importantly the interest in continuing to talk to each other). I'm not sure if your prior job made you more comfortable with initiating conversation with strangers you would normally never talk to, but if it did, you're already halfway there.

Once you get past the approach/icebreaking stage, then you can refer to Smurg's post. It really is just about letting a conversation flow on its own, although you can learn small tricks to get things going or to jumpstart things if they slow down or stop altogether. Whenever a particular path of conversation peters out, just go back to your home base of things you two have to have in common, i.e. reasons why you're at the party/bar/get-together, common friends, etc.

Personally, I've never struggled too much with the post-approach part of socializing, so I can't help you much there. For me, it's always been intiating and approaching people that made me apprehensive.
Moderator
IronMentality
Profile Joined July 2004
United States1129 Posts
December 15 2005 16:46 GMT
#247
I am telling you, the Regis thing is gold.
Liberals idea of true patriotism is expanding the welfare state. Want to make a liberal angry? Defend the United States. Proud to be an American! Made in the USA, est. 1986.
Smurg
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Australia3818 Posts
December 15 2005 17:48 GMT
#248
On December 16 2005 01:46 IronMentality wrote:
I am telling you, the Regis thing is gold.

I don't get it. Honestly.
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 15 2005 22:48 GMT
#249
So I realized something.. it has been pointed out that I am a lot more verbose through written word than verbal communication. I feel like I have a direct connection between what I think and what I type. However, when I am talking to someone in person, it takes a lot more process time for me to listen to what they say, process in my brain what they are trying to tell me, understand their meaning, think about my response to what they are saying, find the words to be able to state that response, then end up saying what I have to say. My boyfriend is trying to teach me to learn how to think ahead as well as verbalize my thoughts and think about what to say in parallel rather than serial processing. This way, the talking part becomes more automatic and the thinking part can become a background process which leads to a faster output time overall o.O;;. This is supposed to increase my WPM and speed up my thinking time.
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Smurg
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Australia3818 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-12-15 23:05:40
December 15 2005 23:05 GMT
#250
Oh.

Internet != reality. Forgot to mention that one. So WPM basically doesn't exist in RL.

Edit: I am drunk.
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
December 16 2005 01:11 GMT
#251
yes it does.. it really depends on what you are referring to.. wpm is the words per minute u can speak in this case.
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Ready2[ESC]
Profile Joined October 2002
Hungary1436 Posts
December 16 2005 01:51 GMT
#252
On December 16 2005 07:48 mnm wrote:
So I realized something.. it has been pointed out that I am a lot more verbose through written word than verbal communication. I feel like I have a direct connection between what I think and what I type. However, when I am talking to someone in person, it takes a lot more process time for me to listen to what they say, process in my brain what they are trying to tell me, understand their meaning, think about my response to what they are saying, find the words to be able to state that response, then end up saying what I have to say. My boyfriend is trying to teach me to learn how to think ahead as well as verbalize my thoughts and think about what to say in parallel rather than serial processing. This way, the talking part becomes more automatic and the thinking part can become a background process which leads to a faster output time overall o.O;;. This is supposed to increase my WPM and speed up my thinking time.


haha cute one
--- Nuked ---
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
December 16 2005 02:41 GMT
#253
On December 16 2005 07:48 mnm wrote:
So I realized something.. it has been pointed out that I am a lot more verbose through written word than verbal communication.


this is vry common

I feel like I have a direct connection between what I think and what I type.

maybe what you're getting at is that you can type without hesitation. i think this is because there are no consequences. you can backspace, you can choose not to send. and the people are not looking at you, there is no situation, no eye contact, no commitment. only words. but the world is not as simple as words at all, and neither is thinking.

However, when I am talking to someone in person, it takes a lot more process time for me to listen to what they say, process in my brain what they are trying to tell me, understand their meaning, think about my response to what they are saying, find the words to be able to state that response, then end up saying what I have to say.


that's because there's just more information there--some of it we can only struggle to put into words. words do not fit everything for us easily. if you could freeze time during a face to face conversation you could find an hour's worth of words about that moment. thought, fortunately, is NOT words but something beneath that. it is what gives us impressions and words while letting us gloss over others, sometimes we are aware and controlling this process and sometimes not. it is all a mixture. i think when you say "find the words" you are showing that your struggle is because it is harder to "know what you think" (in words, for the situation) when the situation is less certain. text is certain, but this hours of words that you don't have time to go through can never be certain. when you are face to face, the whole situation complicates things, and there is more committment and less "room for error," too.

My boyfriend is trying to teach me to learn how to think


(sorry i just thought this was funny out of context)

ahead as well as verbalize my thoughts and think about what to say in parallel rather than serial processing. This way, the talking part becomes more automatic and the thinking part can become a background process which leads to a faster output time overall o.O;;. This is supposed to increase my WPM and speed up my thinking time.


i think by "parallel processing" what is trying to be got at is not trying to focus in purely on the words, because in a conversation you also "feel" that this isn't working, but if you keep only looking for words, it is just a struggle. you have to let inputs come in, not just words. you are already automatic, but you are automatically stopping yourself and demanding more certainty and lack of committment than can happen in face-to-face.
express yourself--madonna
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