EPTHelp the shy quiet antisocial introvert...
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
edit: no, seriously. shyness is not your essence. it's a symptom. and you're looking for a perscription to relieve it. but when it comes to personality, it's up to your own interpretation of yourself and others--first you must admit those to yourself in their fullest terms, then be open to argument about how others see those differently. even if you commit to practicing others' interpretations wholeheartedly, thereby being "less shy," it takes more time than most people realize. you are experienced when it comes to being shy. to put it in terms you'll understand: you are gosu at it. if you switch races, you will be noob. and you'll want to fall back on your shy-related patterns, (interpretations, coping mechanisms, etc.) so you must slowly build up a whole new way of dealing with things, seeing things, and so on. it takes TIME, more than people are willing to accept. you must accept gradual changes as a goal, meaning 4-6 weeks of TRYING something before really seeing how it pans out--small things, like telling yourself to think X Y Z about people instead of your old A B C. and these are the kinsd of things that are hard to stick to and easy to forget (easy to relapse!) now that you understand everything... i have shown you the path. but knowing the path is very different from walking the path. i can bring you to the door but only you can go through it. become gosu random player! | ||
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1hp
Korea (South)903 Posts
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[X]Ken_D
United States4650 Posts
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
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YoUr_KiLLeR
United States3420 Posts
edit: but then again, i dont know you very well at all | ||
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
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GeeyoUkNIT
434 Posts
if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better. | ||
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skyglow1
New Zealand3962 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:15 randomKo_Orean wrote: are you joking? dont be quiet, reach out no guys or girls will refuse if you start a friendly convo with them (About anything) Friendly convo of starcraft = no re skyglow1 | ||
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collegeBored
United States1524 Posts
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collegeBored
United States1524 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:18 GeeyoUkNIT wrote: if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better. i disagree, i think arguements make the best conversations, if both people can be mature about it. if you pick something u both agree on it just ends up with -hi -hi -i think [blah] -yup -.... if you have different opinions on something it makes it easier to talk about it and express your own oh and of course a good motto to live by is "life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery" | ||
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HeadBangaa
United States6512 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:18 GeeyoUkNIT wrote: You hella sound like you're from Nor Callol I was HELLA shy back in the days, but i moved up like hella, and now act as if im hyper or something. took me about 7 years though. some things to do are, keep your head up (omg i never wanna talk to people walking with their heads down), smile -exercise those muscles, keep eye contact, if your in talking distance from an other person and their not talking to anyone talk to them! if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better. EDIT: Original poster, you're one of our rare female members, right? I always confuse you with mrmin or whoever, names look kinda similar. I met a helluva lotta great people at work. Half of my best friends are coworkers. | ||
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OhThatDang
United States4685 Posts
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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lastprobeALIVE
United States973 Posts
 edit: start to party A LOT | ||
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
one thing i am thinking of is how likable girls can be to many many guys very easily. sincere simling, confidence, aggressiveness, proximity can go a LONG way. so it depends what u mean by shyness. if you want some shallow bitches to like you, then you, well, have to make them feel good about themselves and use you probably. most girls who can't be popular and think they're all high and mighty would do the same thing if they had the opportunity/skills. non-bitches are rare, and they're sitll kinda bitchy if you ask me. most guys are bitches too. in fact, most species are bitches. except sloths. they fucking rock. | ||
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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Chogs_User
United States410 Posts
why do you want to be more outgoing anyway? | ||
Bill307
Canada9103 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote: im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean.. I've often wondered this myself. I have too few friends here at University. It's great fun to go out and watch a movie or something, and it's always less painful to work on an assignment with someone else rather than by yourself. For the most part, I really prefer spending time with other people (in person) over spending time alone. But my friends have lives too, and they can't just keep doing things with me all the time =P. Not to mention that I need to meet more women or else I'll never have a realistic shot at finding a girlfriend =P. Anyway, here is my current solution: talk to strangers. If you're out anywhere (e.g. waiting for something), and you see someone else who's alone (e.g. waiting for the same thing), and they have the facial expression of someone who is probably going to be friendly and open to conversation, then just start talking to them. Personally, I find the most inviting facial expressions to be a soft (non-egotistic) smile and a lonely/bored stare (which quickly becomes a smile once they start talking to you). You can just follow your emotions on this decision and all others, though, EXCEPT for your emotions of shyness and fear! Just consciously tell yourself those emotions are wrong, ignore them, and go in with no fear of being rejected. Once you've done it a few times, you will feel much less anxiety about talking to random people in the future. As for what to talk about, just comment on something you both have in common: being in the same class, waiting in the same line for the same thing, looking at the same family of ducks waddling by, etc. And my advice (and experience) pretty much ends there. Now my next problem is actually getting the contact information of the people I randomly meet, if meeting them is a one time thing (as opposed to, say, striking a random conversation with a classmate or coworker you've never really met). My current plan: if our little conversation leads to a common interest, then ask them if they'd like to do something together in the future related to said interest. After all, it's the natural thing to do, right? Haven't gotten a chance to put it into action yet, but I think it'll go well when I do. Hopefully I'll soon be hooking up with teh ladies left and right!  | ||
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
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Bill307
Canada9103 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:15 randomKo_Orean wrote: no guys or girls will refuse if you start a friendly convo with them (About anything) I really like this advice  . I think it's something that's very important to realize and to understand in order to be a more social person.Shyness and anxiety are totally the wrong emotions to listen to when you're trying to judge who will be open to a conversation. If they're the kind of person who actually will refuse, you'll definitely be able to tell because you will actually feel repulsed or put-off by them. | ||
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
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Bill307
Canada9103 Posts
He's feeling sarcastic? | ||
mrmin123
Korea (South)2971 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:35 HeadBangaa wrote: EDIT: Original poster, you're one of our rare female members, right? I always confuse you with mrmin or whoever, names look kinda similar. I met a helluva lotta great people at work. Half of my best friends are coworkers. "Whoever"? I am no "whoever"! But anyway, I'm a shy guy myself, but I've overcome most of my shyness by just forcing myself to talk with people. Most people are fairly friendly when you first start talking to them (unless they're total elitest dickwads), so try and take advantage of it and force yourself to start talking, introduce yourself, find something to talk about. Hopefully the rest will come naturally, because in my opinion, stuff like this isn't something you can really get that much help for, just a place to start. | ||
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brite
United Kingdom253 Posts
oh and i'm really nervous. when i have to stand up in front of the whole class or something i start to actually tremble and sometimes let go of pens or papers in my hand, which is of course very amusing for the rest of the class. so wtf do u talk about to someone that u know like from school and that's not some bs like "how was your we?" "how ur doing at school?"..,. or wahtever bs like that. oh and another thing. when i talk to girls i think are hot i seem to just talk bs and look around myself all the time, sothat i don't have to look her in the eyes. with girls that are just friends i can actually talk rather well, we have more in common ... stuff like that. | ||
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nortydog
Australia3067 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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MoltkeWarding
5195 Posts
Strangely this applies for b.net as well as real life. | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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uhjoo
Korea (South)1740 Posts
:-) :-) | ||
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exalted
United States3612 Posts
MnM you seem pretty cool, I don't see the problem? Don't you work for Ubisoft and everything? The only thing I didn't quite like was when your thread where you were speculating if pretty people have it easier in life. In the service industry, ESPECIALLY the service industry you really should work your best to look your best, and this includes the superficial like makeup and clothes as well as your bodily health (abs, weight, KEGELS). This is a win/win situation, becuase you will be more confident (and therefore be more proactive in helping customers), and they will be more receptive to your advice becuase you will be a HOT GURLIE. Good luck! | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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exalted
United States3612 Posts
On December 01 2005 01:14 MoltkeWarding wrote: If a stranger starts a conversation with me out of the blue I will ignore them or give one-word responses. Strangely this applies for b.net as well as real life. This is why you have never had a girlfriend in your life. Don't worry son, one day you will be king and know everything as well. Help me with college essay T_T | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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nortydog
Australia3067 Posts
On December 01 2005 01:02 brite wrote:...paragraph... I have/had the same problems as you, not being able to continue conversations and whenever people would stare into my eyes when talking my id get extremely nervous and my neck muscles would tense forcing me to look away. Like you im also pretty talkative after having a bit to drink, even one beer really helps you relax  I think im finally over it now, the best advice I can give is just to try forget about it and remember that most people aren't judging you. I remember about a year ago all that was on my mind was "my anxiety problem" and the stupid feeling that I was being judged in everything I do, the truth is your not and the problem is all in your head, my guess is your overly self-concious, like I was. Just try focus on other things than how you think other people see you, you cant change that. Dont just throw yourself out there either, bad experiences will hurt you alot because stick in your memory and you will remember it each time your put back into that situation(interviews for me) as you probly already know, take it slow, forget about it and with the help of a few beers you'll soon be fine | ||
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brite
United Kingdom253 Posts
On December 01 2005 01:41 nortydog wrote: I have/had the same problems as you, not being able to continue conversations and whenever people would stare into my eyes when talking my id get extremely nervous and my neck muscles would tense forcing me to look away. Like you im also pretty talkative after having a bit to drink, even one beer really helps you relax I think im finally over it now, the best advice I can give is just to try forget about it and remember that most people aren't judging you. I remember about a year ago all that was on my mind was "my anxiety problem" and the stupid feeling that I was being judged in everything I do, the truth is your not and the problem is all in your head, my guess is your overly self-concious, like I was. Just try focus on other things than how you think other people see you, you cant change that. Dont just throw yourself out there either, bad experiences will hurt you alot because stick in your memory and you will remember it each time your put back into that situation(interviews for me) as you probly already know, take it slow, forget about it and with the help of a few beers you'll soon be fine so basically just drink a few beer and then talk and after a while i don't need to be drunk any more to be talkative?? sounds great to me. i'll give it a try. | ||
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nortydog
Australia3067 Posts
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brite
United Kingdom253 Posts
On December 01 2005 01:14 Chibi[OWNS] wrote: mm dunno bout me it depends a lot more than on just facial expression ; total bodily expression brite that REALLY FUCKING bugs me....i want 2 know what causes 'nerves' other than simply rthe body's natural reaction to eg an important event why does it feel so shitty why do some ppl get it worse than others HOW DO U STOP IT???? mentally i am superior to this feeling but my body still feels nervous as fuck and i just dunno how 2 control it other than sum arduous mental blockage ie acting super overconfident and forgetting everything, but this is a total fuckiing change of mindset and not something i want to have to do hm sry m8 but i don't quite get ur point. what bugs u?? the way i act?? i can't do much about it. are u saying u are nervous to at important event?? well that's exactly my problem and i haven't jet figuered how to stop it. what helps if i have to talk like in front of several hundred people is if i can sit. i don't know why but for some strange reason that makes me less nervous and you can only hear a trembling in my voice every now and then insted of all the time. funny quote from one of my teachers one day i had to stand in front of class "be confident, you're doing fine, be confident!" to say the truth that kinda helped me because after that every time i had to speek in front of class i'd not want the teacher to say something like that again. also we would make jokes about it all the time when we had to do some important oral so that also helped a lot. | ||
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fEAthEr
Canada482 Posts
get drunk.. again and again.. then get jealous on how the drunk you is more social and popular among girls.... then stay jealous youll fix up eventually | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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nortydog
Australia3067 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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nortydog
Australia3067 Posts
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baal
10533 Posts
On December 01 2005 02:11 fEAthEr wrote: then get jealous on how the drunk you is more social and popular among girls.... lol that actually happens :D | ||
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FireBlast!
United Kingdom5251 Posts
Basically we're communicating all the time, the way we sit, the way we articulate ourselves, the way we stand etc. Researches show the best way to build a rapport with anybody is try consciously to a) mirror their body language- if they stand straight and tall, you stand straight and tall. If they slouch, you slouch while speaking to them. b) always smile and make a genuine attempt to at least appear interested in what theyre saying. anyway most of the time we subconsciously do these things already. why we find socialising awkward with some people is because we cannot easily feel comfortable and must make a conscious attempt at doing these things. | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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Krzych
Poland693 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote: im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean.. alcohol! | ||
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Pistasj
Norway272 Posts
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Doctorasul
Romania1145 Posts
Don't be afraid to talk to people! Honestly, what's the WORST thing that could happen? Think about it, the absolute worst thing that can happen, it will be a LEARNING experience in the long run and a lot better than not trying in the first place. Go out there and try it! Force yourself the few couple of times if needed and, as Bill said, you'll soon learn how silly it was to believe people will reject you for a reason or another. If that's not an issue then you probably need to have more activities that involve other people. Go to a gym, that's good place to meet people. Take a photography class, or whatver interest you may have. Go to concerts more. | ||
Plexa
Aotearoa39261 Posts
"people talking about something" me "states opinion on that something" awkward silence "people continue on about sometihng different" me "states opinion on that something different" awkward silence... i live in a dorm, and i wuddnt consider my self shy (atleast no anymore) but i just shut up and some people think theres something wrong wif me (as i hardly ever talk to people becuz i end up killing convos etc)... also im not putting myself out there enough because of this- i just stay quiet in a circle of people, or going off on some tangent that no one cares about (getting the repeditive yea response) | ||
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KaasZerg
Netherlands927 Posts
Waiting for a train running late? Talk about it without complaining too much you might even pop up a witty remark and make someone grin. Then you stop don't push your luck maybe the other person will take over the innitiative. It starts with small things you have in common. People who you meet at such random occasions mostly won't become friends. Making friends happens when you see someone at a regular basis (there are exceptions).. What have you got to lose if you screw it up (what a weird chick). You probably won't meet them again so use it to gain a little convidence. Even trying it is a better achievement then not saying anything at all. | ||
Hot_Bid
Braavos36372 Posts
you're not ugly or fat and you're a girl who plays video games i'm sure you'll find a way | ||
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
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logitech
Canada230 Posts
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8882
2718 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote: im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean.. as far as I remember you were the chick that posted her photo on blizzforums and like 50 guys started to follow you on sctactics.com just go to a fucking club and dont reject the people who will start talking to you actually you can go anywhere, even school; if you're a semi hot chick without the "hi!" "fuck off" attitude, you should find someone fast problem solved. | ||
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DV8
United States1623 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:07 mitsy wrote: want a build order? edit: no, seriously. shyness is not your essence. it's a symptom. and you're looking for a perscription to relieve it. but when it comes to personality, it's up to your own interpretation of yourself and others--first you must admit those to yourself in their fullest terms, then be open to argument about how others see those differently. even if you commit to practicing others' interpretations wholeheartedly, thereby being "less shy," it takes more time than most people realize. you are experienced when it comes to being shy. to put it in terms you'll understand: you are gosu at it. if you switch races, you will be noob. and you'll want to fall back on your shy-related patterns, (interpretations, coping mechanisms, etc.) so you must slowly build up a whole new way of dealing with things, seeing things, and so on. it takes TIME, more than people are willing to accept. you must accept gradual changes as a goal, meaning 4-6 weeks of TRYING something before really seeing how it pans out--small things, like telling yourself to think X Y Z about people instead of your old A B C. and these are the kinsd of things that are hard to stick to and easy to forget (easy to relapse!) now that you understand everything... i have shown you the path. but knowing the path is very different from walking the path. i can bring you to the door but only you can go through it. become gosu random player! You can do all that, or get wasted one night and become the life of the party. | ||
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Passion
Netherlands1486 Posts
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-_-
United States7081 Posts
Now I know that sounds stupid, but it's true. Imagine doing a math problem. The first time you do it, it could take you a long time. Or you might not even figure it out. But after do similar problems repeatedly you'll make the moves which stumped you automatically. The same is for conversation. Now if you were a social little kid then you've had a lot of practice, and you'll be able to keep a conversation going well. If you weren't, you'll be stuck nodding and looking at the clock or whatever. Just make it your goal to keep a conversation interesting as long as possilble (while being able to take a hint of when to stop). | ||
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88)WhyYouKickMyDog
United States608 Posts
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rel
Guam3521 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
i have no interest in meeting strangers in random settings. i do tend to stare at the floor when i walk around the city. i don't like it when strangers talk to me when im walking to and from work or when i'm riding the train or bus. the only settings im comfortable with are bw events.. especially when i know a bunch of people already and im actually a lot more sociable in that setting.. and clubs.. cuz i like dancing.. but i may become extremely rude to persistent men who wont leave me alone.. or women who just dance too close by.. my boyfriend is not a ganster. i do not live in south california. i do have problems talking to girls.. and/or people in general who don't play bw.. usually conversation goes along the lines of.. "what do you do for fun".. i would say i play video games.. and they would say something else and then silence.. i also have a very short attention span.. if the person im talking to doesn't interest me right away and/or doesnt play video games and/or doesn't know what ubisoft is.. then i tend not to ask as many questions about them.. usually because i don't know what else to talk about.. i may possibly have that "hi. fuck off." expression many times.. im not sure though.. i tend to not pay attention to people as much as i probably should. i think keeping eye contact with someone (usually of the opposite gender) for too long without having anything to say might give them the wrong message. i don't drink. | ||
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poor newb
United States1879 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36372 Posts
anyway making conversation should never be a chore and is something that is developed. you may be just expecting too much out of people, there's no way they'd know even a fraction of what you do about something you're passionate about like video games. but seriously, if that's all you're willing to talk about, you might as well stick to bw and video gaming events. if you're unwilling to have other interests/be passionate about other stuff/be well rounded then of course others are going to seem boring. hell, you probably seem really boring to them as well, if all you want to talk about is gaming. i'd advise just getting more interests and not be so limited in your hobbies. remember, it's a lot easier for you to meet people because a) you're female and b) you're attractive. basically you're going to get friends whichever new thing you try. | ||
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LetMeBeWithYou
Canada4254 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote: how do i make friends? Oh man | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
note.. this is just a side thought i had.. not really a humungous rpf-level problem.. i can deal with being the way i am now.. but i do appreciate the advice.. just for the sake of self improvement | ||
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WGT)Dknight
United States114 Posts
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lil.sis
China4650 Posts
i haven't read any replies you are antisocial because you like to be | ||
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lil.sis
China4650 Posts
strengthen the few friendships you already have instead of wasting energy looking for new superficial conversation mates those types of relationships probably don't satisfy you | ||
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brite
United Kingdom253 Posts
On December 01 2005 12:28 mnm wrote: and/or people in general who don't play bw.. well tbh you should get yourself a different hobby. only playing video games is perhaps not the easiest way to get to talk to people/get nw friends. | ||
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decafchicken
United States19967 Posts
1) Too picky combined with not meeting the right people 2) Aren't trying to be social/want to be anti social like lil.sis said 3) Just flat out ARENT a social person in general. You're just not made to be a little social butterfly. Nothing wrong with that, it's just the way you might be. | ||
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FroST(TE)
United States909 Posts
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CorporalClegg
United States52 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36372 Posts
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brite
United Kingdom253 Posts
On December 01 2005 13:51 FroST(TE) wrote: i once read somewhere that if you can't stand on your knees and allow yourself to fall straight on your nose you'll never be not shy where the fuck did you hear that?? | ||
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Konni
Germany3044 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36372 Posts
everyone who put their hand over their face i wish i was there to slap the back of it | ||
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Konni
Germany3044 Posts
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Cloud
Sexico5880 Posts
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Pseudo_Utopia
Canada827 Posts
BTW, I think there's a very important distinction between the type of conversation you learn and improve at through practice, and the type that is innate. Basically the first type is the "social rules/conventions" part, that is, learning what kinds of things you can say to make ppl confortable/open/feel that you are open such as hi, how are you, how was your weekend, all the regular questions that anyone can understand and answer. However I find those boring and useless (you already know how people will answer and stuff, so its just like a repetitive routine) so I try to keep them at a minimum. The real fun convo starts when you simply say what you would say to yourself were you alone. That is real honest sharing, and when it goes both ways it's really cool (aka friends ). Note that silences become comfortable when you have the mindframe of the second conversation.I don't know if you get what I'm saying, but in any case to me the people who reject you on the basis of inability to follow "conventional conversation rules" are just boring anyway. No offense to them To come back to what I said first, just make sure you know what you want exactly or else you're kind of shooting in the dark.Cheers Edit: About the real honest convo: the way I go about it is I try to get to this stage as fast as possible with ANYONE I talk to. This is restricted by my anxiety levels, but advanced by my interest in real communication. And if I say what seems like random stupid shit/unintelligible phrases/etc. then usually they aren't people who I would be able to get close to anyway. | ||
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
Shy because of fear of embarassment? You think you'll say the wrong thing, something boring, something weird. Shy as restraint? You worry that if you actually spoke your mind half the time you'd hurt a lot of people's feelings because you think they are dorks, stupid drunks, or sluts. Shy because of arrogance? You don't really care what other people think, so you don't talk to them very much. Shy because of discomfort in certain situations? You feel awkward meeting new people or don't like talking to people at clubs when you have to shout to be heard. Shy because of some other reason? Which of these sounds the most like you (or which combination)? | ||
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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decafchicken
United States19967 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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CaucasianAsian
Korea (South)11570 Posts
On December 01 2005 15:39 decafchicken wrote: I stare at the ground sometimes when i walk in the school hallways, just because i get bored and the tiles on the floor are something to concentrate on :p here you go. your not alone! http://www.wimp.com/beemo/ | ||
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decafchicken
United States19967 Posts
On December 01 2005 16:01 CaucasianAsian wrote: here you go. your not alone! http://www.wimp.com/beemo/ I would kill myself if i was emo. And not because it's the emo thing to do. I just can't stand those fuckers. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
tomorrow i have another party to go to.. only one of my closer friends wants to go with me.. im afraid itll be the same.. most ppl drink n let their drunkeness allow them to act stupid and then other ppl laugh and that makes em social.. i stand at the side.. taking pictures.. attempting to converse.. but.. yea.. i guess im just naturally introverted.. but i do want to learn to talk to people more in group settings.. im not shy because i get embarassed, im not shy because i feel like i would say something stupid, i guess im really more quiet than shy.. because i cant think of things to say.. the gym is not the best place to converse with people.. i go several times a week and i never talk to anyone.. nobody talks in the gym.. i go to hip hop classes every friday.. sure i may say hi, whatdya think of the class, are you a student at berkeley, what got you interested, etc.. but there is a high likelihood i wont get to see that person again and also i dont get to talk to them that much.. i go to church on sundays.. just out of curiosity.. i do get another opportunity to talk to people there.. and people do approach me but.. i always forget peoples names.. and i forget the things theyve told me.. and i don't really know what is the best way to approach other people.. oh and.. i appreciate the help and the pms but i am not interested in making friends through the internet -_-a. im not comfortable with getting ppls ims n talking to them just to talk.. i usually would only do this if the person is a regular op cal person or the person is interested in going to my tournaments.. or if i meet the person in a bw event at first.. | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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Cloud
Sexico5880 Posts
 . Not to worry though, I have a big suspect and i know where he lives.Since it looks like something he would say. Youre dead whiz! :D jk  No seriously mnm, you are asking for advice on becoming a pro football player when you are sorrounded by the worlds top chess players. | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
I do not think it comes down to lacking anything to say. I am sure you have something to say, but that you are just very cautious about speaking your mind. Everybody has something to say. Maybe you have just accepted the fact that you do not pay attention very well and since you don't pay attention very well, you tend to say inappropriate things. Or things at the wrong time, or things completely off-topic. So to avoid this outcome, you have subconsciously put a pretty high filter on what comes out of your mouth. High enough that you always put forth a lot of effort to think hard about what to say before saying it. Then you get caught thinking, when the other person is waiting for you to say something and the conversation ends. | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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Cloud
Sexico5880 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
my bf is gosu social extrovert.. i wish i was like him | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
I still think you just need to speak your mind and not worry about what other people think. Once you get in the habit of speaking your mind, you are better equipped to think quickly and react to other people. | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
Granted not everyone gets such a good source of comic relief from their parents, but there are tons of things that you can find in common with people and talk to them about. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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ManaBlue
Canada10458 Posts
i go to church on sundays.. just out of curiosity.. i do get another opportunity to talk to people there.. and people do approach me but.. i always forget peoples names.. and i forget the things theyve told me.. Do you know why you forget their names and what they told you? Because you don't care. If you did, you'de remember, speak, form relationships, be approachable. Everyone is selfconcious in public and in dealing with people they don't know. Ever notice that the people that get all the attention in a group are kind and happy and seem excited when they see people? And people just seem to gravitate toward them, like they don't even need to try to be popular? That's because they make people comfortable around them, and they form relationships with people that grow over time. If you can't remember a person's name, or their story, why the fuck should they bother talking to you? You obviously don't give a shit. Would you want to talk to a person like you? Someone who is so introverted and quiet that you can't understand what they are thinking, whether they like you around them, whether they can string enough words together to engage you socially? No. You wouldn't. Think more about what you do in social situations, not what you aren't doing. That's where you'll find your answer. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
check out my gosu conversation skills: (16:59:38) mnm: bzzt (16:59:52) Peter: *swats the fly* (16:59:57) mnm: =[ (17:00:05) Peter: :-) (17:00:18) mnm: *pokes the rubber duckie* (17:01:03) Peter: =[ | ||
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
I completely love soccer, when I play with people I love talking about the game, talking about my team's weaknesses, what we should have done better etc. I like animals a lot. So I end up talking to people about animals. As long as it stays interesting, nobody ever has a problem with it. I told my friend about how a tree frog jumped on my foot or that I was harassing a juvenile alligator when I was in a kayak. I took a picture of an anole biting my hand. Even the stupid squirrels on campus provide inspiration, you can throw anything near them and they chase after it. I've thrown ice cubes, hot coals, sticks, acorns, apple cores . . . no matter what the squirrels chase it down and investigate it. Maybe I am just a complainer but I do complain a lot about my mom. Other people can always relate because pretty much everybody gets pissed off by their mom or dad. Okay well, I am not going to list 5 things, and you don't have to either, but there are obviously things which you care about and other people do too that you can talk with them about. | ||
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ManaBlue
Canada10458 Posts
On December 01 2005 17:44 mnm wrote: well how the heck do u remembers ppls names esp when u meet a bunch of them at a time.. check out my gosu conversation skills: (16:59:38) mnm: bzzt (16:59:52) Peter: *swats the fly* (16:59:57) mnm: =[ (17:00:05) Peter: :-) (17:00:18) mnm: *pokes the rubber duckie* (17:01:03) Peter: =[ You don't get what I'm saying do you? The point is not "how to do" something. What I'm saying there mnm is that you claim to what to be a more engaging conversationalist. I believe this is a lie. I think you are ashamed of your history of social behavior and envy the "life of the party" so much that you what an artificial way to emulate them. If you really wanted to talk to people...not talk AT them, or galavant around them, be the loud mouth one woman show...then you would speak to people and care about what they are telling you. Get to know them. What the fuck is "meeting" people good for if you're doing it for the sake of "meeting" more people. If you do that you won't truely meet anyone. See what I mean? | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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-_-
United States7081 Posts
On December 01 2005 13:51 FroST(TE) wrote: i once read somewhere that if you cant stand on your knees and allow yourself to fall straight on your nose you'll never be not shy Well yeah, if you can do that, people are going to ask you how you broke your nose. Edit: OMG. You just said it wasn't an rpfish problem. AHHAAHAHAAHAHA. | ||
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
I am not even deaf or partially deaf, I just have difficulty listening even when I really want to. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
On December 01 2005 17:57 TruthBringer wrote: Similar to her short attention span, I have something of a hearing problem. It has caused me to be shy in the past because when I would talk to people I wouldn't know what they were saying or I would have to ask them to repeat themselves. Sometimes I just laugh or smile and nod my head because I hear so poorly. I am not even deaf or partially deaf, I just have difficulty listening even when I really want to. hey me too o.O | ||
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
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ManaBlue
Canada10458 Posts
On December 01 2005 17:58 mnm wrote: i like it when ppl come up to me and they seem genuinely interested in me and they want to learn more about my interests and such.. i would like the ability to do the same.. i know deep inside each person.. there is a part of him or her that would interest me.. but i dont know how to dig to find that.. and it does take effort to do that.. thats why its so much easier to hang around ppl u already know and are already friends with.. it takes effort to get to know someone.. and with introverts it doesnt come easily.. No, it doesn't. I never said there is a shiny golden nugget of goodness in every person. Am I from fairy land? Truth is, you won't like most people. Half or them are assholes and another chunk will seem weird to you. You can't and shouldn't be everyone's friend. After a 5 minute conversation you can tell if a person is someone that would interest you, so be discriminating. I coulda met 20 people at that party you were at and I might've cared enough to talk to a couple of them for more than the time it takes to finish my beer. So is life. As for the "it takes too much effort to meet someone new" thing, I must restate my original point. You obviously don't give a shit about meeting people. As for the rest of this, I'm not trying to be an asshole, but seriously I couldn't help but laugh. i know each situation is diff tho.. i cant get one build order that will work for every person because every map and matchup is differrent.. and the situations change not only per person but also per game.. its alsoa problem i have in bw.. learning to come up with the right strategies throughout the game and adapting along the way | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
-_-a | ||
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
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cava
United States1035 Posts
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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ManaBlue
Canada10458 Posts
For the record though, I would say there are many assholes out there. Maybe you've just had a string of good luck. mnm, I'm not trying to come down on you here. I just saw this turning into a pity fest and wanted to bring you something useful. If you care, talk, that's it. You should be having fun. Socializing with people shouldn't feel like work. | ||
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StarN
United States2587 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
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ManaBlue
Canada10458 Posts
On December 01 2005 18:21 mnm wrote: im not looking for pity I never said you did. Good luck, I'm out. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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CorporalClegg
United States52 Posts
On December 01 2005 17:58 mnm wrote: i like it when ppl come up to me and they seem genuinely interested in me and they want to learn more about my interests and such.. i would like the ability to do the same.. i know deep inside each person.. there is a part of him or her that would interest me.. but i dont know how to dig to find that.. and it does take effort to do that.. thats why its so much easier to hang around ppl u already know and are already friends with.. it takes effort to get to know someone.. and with introverts it doesnt come easily.. i know each situation is diff tho.. i cant get one build order that will work for every person because every map and matchup is differrent.. and the situations change not only per person but also per game.. its alsoa problem i have in bw.. learning to come up with the right strategies throughout the game and adapting along the way Best way is to just ask the person some basic questions to start off the conversation with a random person. This, usually, leads to conversations you never could have expected. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22251 Posts
On December 01 2005 18:42 Chibi[OWNS] wrote: besides, you have a lovely smile...just smile at people and let them do the talking.. Agreed, you do have a real cute smile. I think if you sit there, smile, get someone started, and just smile/look interested, you won't have to say too much. | ||
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Armand Tamzarian
Oman74 Posts
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QuietIdiot
7004 Posts
Smile + basic talk(Hi, my name is, how are you doing, etc) + cuteness = Pwnage | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
As for "2nd conversation" topics, figure out what the person does with their free time. "What did you do this weekend?" "Any plans tonight?" See if they are like-minded person with you, ask about a favorite TV show, "hey have you ever gone [insert your interest]" paintballing, surfing, etc. If you want to be this person's friend, eventually you will probably want to do something to hang out with them. "My boyfriend and I are going hiking this weekend, would you like to come with?" Anything. In the United States, I strike out so often when I ask people if they are into soccer, but I keep asking anyways. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
there was this one time i was talking to this guy and he even told me it started sounding like an interview cuz i would just ask him random questions o.O | ||
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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FroST(TE)
United States909 Posts
its the idea that shyness is genetic. if you have what they call the shyness gene you will be unable to fall flat on your nose willingly as well -_- | ||
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OhThatDang
United States4685 Posts
if i start the convo i hope they would continue and i just respond but most of the times they dont..so its quiet until i get something going again mainly cuz i dont wanna soun like an idiot/look like one by doing something i usually do? | ||
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OhThatDang
United States4685 Posts
if i start the convo i hope they would continue and i just respond but most of the times they dont..so its quiet until i get something going again mainly cuz i dont wanna soun like an idiot/look like one by doing something i usually do? | ||
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FroST(TE)
United States909 Posts
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Ready2[ESC]
Hungary1436 Posts
studying makes your mind sharp. try doing some memory games once in a while or try to memorize short poems regulary. you would be suprised how this can help your memory and your ability to focus. btw it seems clear that your main problem is that your not knowledgeable, you dont know a thing outside the bw world. you need to be aware of the world around you to be able to have a conversation that is more than your average "hi whats your hobby". you should watch news channels, read books, read newspapers and basically have an open mind for things. you should also try new things out once in a while so atleast you can have an opinion about them. you dont need to be good in anything just have something to say about them. if something comes up in a conversation and you dont know about it, try to ask quesitons and try to understand it, try to relate to things you know. you can make friends fast if your a good listener. what makes a good listener? noding at the right moment, agreeing from time to time, smiling and basically trying to look interested. you dont even have to talk a lot just need to be able to listen. (of course its better if you can contribute to the conversation but you need to know about the subject to do so )btw I too agree that if your a semi decent looking woman then you can start conversations more easily (doesnt help in keeping them alive though) | ||
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collegeBored
United States1524 Posts
On December 01 2005 01:23 uhjoo wrote: if anyone flames mnm in this thread they will immediately be banned :-) :-) shes just attention whoring >.> | ||
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Ready2[ESC]
Hungary1436 Posts
and we are just bored | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
fuck you | ||
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a-game
Canada5085 Posts
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[X]Ken_D
United States4650 Posts
There are always something to talk about in any situation even if you know nothing about that topic. You can start a conversation with a question. example: girl (at gym): i'm not sure if i'm doing this right, etc muscular guy: oh yeah.. let me show you girl (talks about guy): how long about you being doing this? guy sees beautiful girl and sits next to her guy (beginning of school): I heard this class is hard prettiest girl in class  i'm not sure yet, but i'll find outguy(talks about girl): is this class you're taking for a major or minor | ||
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36372 Posts
a) act inept and get help b) ask very unique questions like "whats your major" i mean its fool proof how could you fail | ||
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[X]Ken_D
United States4650 Posts
and I don't mean muscular guy . | ||
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ManaBlue
Canada10458 Posts
On December 01 2005 23:44 FroST(TE) wrote: its the idea that shyness is genetic. if you have what they call the shyness gene you will be unable to fall flat on your nose willingly as well -_- Hahahaha. On December 02 2005 12:29 Hot_Bid wrote: yeah so basically the key to making conversation is a) act inept and get help b) ask very unique questions like "whats your major" i mean its fool proof how could you fail Pretty much sums up what I think of half of the advice in this thread. | ||
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collegeBored
United States1524 Posts
On December 02 2005 11:39 only)a-game wrote: you do seem rather melodramatic rooofl, yeah mnm is a major drama queen | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
- Find people who share common interests with you through extracirrcular activities (High School or College) - Carry an open mind with you no matter where you go, so if you get into a group or one-on-one situation you can strike up a conversation of whatever length you please - Never be afraid to take a chance and ask somebody to hang out again just as friends - Start hanging out with your sweet sweet cool Brood War friends, you clearly seem to have an interest in that. Branch out from there. You only live once. You just can't sit there and let life walk right on by! Hang out with your friends when you have time available and make aquintances into friends. A little alcohol definitely never hurts in starting up a convo with a girl either =D | ||
Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
Having a job where you talk to customers a lot has helped me be able to talk to any random person. Being at parties both sober and drunk help me talk to a lot more people and be comfortable. Gogo. | ||
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[X]Ken_D
United States4650 Posts
It's a lot more rewarding job than something like customer service for a department store. The people are more grateful and educated. Sometimes, I would get drinks or invitation somewhere. It also was a good place to meet girls | ||
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Tien
Russian Federation4447 Posts
mnm is a girl? ive been living in the teamliquid hole for 2 years now | ||
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JoeUser
United States684 Posts
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baal
10533 Posts
On December 12 2005 20:42 JoeUser wrote: I hate all of you. You're asking BW nerds how not to be a BW nerd? Go be extroverted, you'll make a fool out of yourself sometimes but you'll probably get some friends. Just remember, this is only your teenage years and any stupid things you do won't matter. And your advice is so valuable because you are the only non BW nerd on tl.net yes. | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
guys are supposed to be tricking you into having sex with them. why aren't they bothering with you? A) you look too challenging, too much work B) they don't even want to have sex with you C) they're gay nerds if it's A, be more slutty if it's B, be more slutty if it's C, be more slutty somewhere else. i think that about covers it. now u might be thinking "no, i want friendship, live life the lovely for the shield battery" or whatever. that's exactly what i'm talking about. what i mean by "tricking u into having sex" is when mens are all friendly, being your friend, "being interested" in what u have to say, liking to be around you, etc. it's a mutal exchange. you get to believe its all care and attention, while he gets u to believe that for sex. but u have to start this exchange first. seriously. men might not even know this is what they're doing. but anyways. simple. look sluttier. then you'll find being an introvert is much harder, you will be shyly giggling in no time. also if being sluttier doesnt work. try to be around guys that have consumed some alcohol. | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22251 Posts
On December 12 2005 21:38 mnm wrote: o.O why on earth did this thread just suddenly revive.. Because you still need the help.. Or because of IronMentality, one of the two. | ||
RaGe
Belgium9945 Posts
unless you'll assault testie on your way to prison | ||
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
On December 12 2005 21:41 EvilTeletubby wrote: Because you still need the help.. Or because of IronMentality, one of the two. EvilTeletubby, still doing his thing. Long time no see. =D | ||
FakeSteve[TPR]
Valhalla18444 Posts
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nicetoknowyou15
Jamaica185 Posts
and/or (c) not getting any women, or (d) not getting enough women. This simple little challenge will (a) eliminate your fear of women, (b) show you that you don't have to play any tricks to get and have them. Ready? Tomorrow, or Saturday, or Sunday, groom and dress yourself real nice. I'm *not* asking anyone to put on any suits, or ties, or jackets (unless that is your comfortable style), but rather dress in your own comfortable, natural way, wearing clean and at least reasonably pressed clothes. Then drive to the nearest shopping mall/center and walk around looking and damn near everything. As you're doing so, say "hi" and give a smile to every woman who passes you by, and who is next to you, and who is in front of you, or whatever. The smile doesn't have to be this big cheesy grin, but whatever is your normal, comfortable way of smiling. {Any kind of smile shows you're not depressed, nor someone to be afraid of.} Doing *nothing* else but giving a simple smile and "hi" to everyone, you come back here on Monday and tell me that not *one* woman stopped dead in her tracks to say some things to you after you did nothing more then smile and say "hi". A simple smile and "hello" to everyone. Cost nothing, takes no time, won't hurt anyone. Yet I'll bet most of you will *rationalize* out some reason(s) why you can't do this, and/or it's not good, and/or all kinds of other things, and then come back here looking for that magical pill advice, that will bring you all the women you want. Guess what? I just gave you the "magical pill" advice. If you can't or won't say "hi" to everyone with a smile (so they quickly see they have nothing to be afraid of), NOTHING anyone can give you will work. Now get out there and prove me wrong. I dare you! | ||
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-DaJ-
Switzerland539 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
Memorize "It's Not Unusual" by Tom Jones, and sing that in public as loud as you can Then you will be loved by your countrymen. | ||
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Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
On December 13 2005 02:45 Smurg wrote: Even though Tom Jones is Welsh. I am aware Tom Jones is Welsh... And he's also the greatest showman in the history of the UNIVERSE! Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, whoaaaaaaa, whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, SHE'S A LADY!  | ||
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Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
![[image loading]](http://www.steveswrestling.com/misc/randysavage.jpg) Owned. | ||
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collegeBored
United States1524 Posts
On December 12 2005 21:22 mitsy wrote: ok here's my advice for female extroverts. guys are supposed to be tricking you into having sex with them. why aren't they bothering with you? A) you look too challenging, too much work B) they don't even want to have sex with you C) they're gay nerds if it's A, be more slutty if it's B, be more slutty if it's C, be more slutty somewhere else. i think that about covers it. now u might be thinking "no, i want friendship, live life the lovely for the shield battery" or whatever. that's exactly what i'm talking about. what i mean by "tricking u into having sex" is when mens are all friendly, being your friend, "being interested" in what u have to say, liking to be around you, etc. it's a mutal exchange. you get to believe its all care and attention, while he gets u to believe that for sex. but u have to start this exchange first. seriously. men might not even know this is what they're doing. but anyways. simple. look sluttier. then you'll find being an introvert is much harder, you will be shyly giggling in no time. also if being sluttier doesnt work. try to be around guys that have consumed some alcohol. qft. http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html | ||
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Konni
Germany3044 Posts
On December 13 2005 04:16 collegeBored wrote: qft. http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html This is absolutely amazing! Thank you sir | ||
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BoY
France378 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote: im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean.. Theatrical Improvisation | ||
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alphaentity
United States525 Posts
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nicetoknowyou15
Jamaica185 Posts
I guess no one here has realized yet that girls don't know what the hell they want. | ||
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ChoboCop
United States954 Posts
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH! | ||
Liquid`Drone
Norway28576 Posts
I tend to smile at mostly everyone who walks past me unless there are too many people tho, guy or girl. makes everyone's day a little bit brighter, including my own. ^_^ | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
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Jim
Sweden1965 Posts
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22251 Posts
OMG that is awesome. | ||
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brite
United Kingdom253 Posts
On December 13 2005 00:13 nicetoknowyou15 wrote: Here's my challenge to everyone who is (a) shy (b) afraid of meeting women, and/or (c) not getting any women, or (d) not getting enough women. This simple little challenge will (a) eliminate your fear of women, (b) show you that you don't have to play any tricks to get and have them. Ready? Tomorrow, or Saturday, or Sunday, groom and dress yourself real nice. I'm *not* asking anyone to put on any suits, or ties, or jackets (unless that is your comfortable style), but rather dress in your own comfortable, natural way, wearing clean and at least reasonably pressed clothes. Then drive to the nearest shopping mall/center and walk around looking and damn near everything. As you're doing so, say "hi" and give a smile to every woman who passes you by, and who is next to you, and who is in front of you, or whatever. The smile doesn't have to be this big cheesy grin, but whatever is your normal, comfortable way of smiling. {Any kind of smile shows you're not depressed, nor someone to be afraid of.} Doing *nothing* else but giving a simple smile and "hi" to everyone, you come back here on Monday and tell me that not *one* woman stopped dead in her tracks to say some things to you after you did nothing more then smile and say "hi". A simple smile and "hello" to everyone. Cost nothing, takes no time, won't hurt anyone. Yet I'll bet most of you will *rationalize* out some reason(s) why you can't do this, and/or it's not good, and/or all kinds of other things, and then come back here looking for that magical pill advice, that will bring you all the women you want. Guess what? I just gave you the "magical pill" advice. If you can't or won't say "hi" to everyone with a smile (so they quickly see they have nothing to be afraid of), NOTHING anyone can give you will work. Now get out there and prove me wrong. I dare you! well great wtf is it good for if u smile at everyone. i mean ok i don't say hi to every1 i see but to every1 i know, and i smile. but that doesn't help me shit. great i smile at people they smile back, i say hi they say hi and then i talk about some random shit until i don't know what to say anymore and by then it's mostly too late, cuz they're bored as hell. i just can't think of enough rdm bullshit to talk about to people. the other day i was at a party and i was talking to this girl and i just had no idea what to say. i kinda like her and she doesn't exactly hate me, we danced talked, had a drink and talked a bit, it must be said that she's shy, but still that's no reason for me to stop talking. i kept eye-contact all the time and shit like that but after a while we just both sat there silent. i was so deperate i actually thought about fooling around with her just to stop the aukward silence. i am not really attracted to her so that's why i'm saying this. if u talk to a girl wtf do u say?? i mean after like 5 min of talking i was just empty... | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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nicetoknowyou15
Jamaica185 Posts
On December 13 2005 16:01 Liquid`Drone wrote: nicetoknowyou I agree with that but I heard of a guy in new york who got killed cause some boyfriend got pissed cause he perceived him to be flirting with his girlfriend I heard about this guy that died from snowboarding. That didn't stop me from trying it. You only live life once, might as well have some fun! Oh and Brite ... I dont smile and say hi to everyone either, that advice is more like a "mission," not a way to live everyday life, although there's nothing wrong with living like that ... people that do usually have more friends than a prom queen, although it does get exhausting!! Rather, I say hi to people that I want to ... ie fine women  Doing the little mission I described will prepare people to talk to girls ... and turn sexual tension into something an emotion that's exciting rather than makes you nervous. P.S.... if you have no shyness talking to girls, than there's no need for you to do the mission I described, .. PM if you have no trouble saying hi to girls, but have trouble holding conversation. Got some advice for that to > | ||
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brite
United Kingdom253 Posts
On December 14 2005 18:25 Chibi[OWNS] wrote: "so........do u like the internet?" don't know if u mean me but i'm just posting here for some advice. it's not as so i spend much time on the internet, but i wouldn't say i don't like it. i just came back from jet another party where i was rather bored in the end, inspite being rather drunk, and not talking alot, so i htought i'd post here. | ||
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
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Kaotu
United States986 Posts
On December 14 2005 19:27 IronMentality wrote: compliment a women's features and then take her to a $500 dinner ...or just compliment a woman's features and hand her $500. They're called hookers. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
On December 14 2005 19:32 Kaotu wrote: ...or just compliment a woman's features and hand her $500. They're called hookers. That's too easy, I prefer the Lobster Tail Challenge | ||
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ahk-gosu
Korea (South)2099 Posts
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
On December 14 2005 21:15 ahk-gosu wrote: ignore what people think about you. be yourself. change only for yourself and only change in a way you think is positive. Bingo | ||
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cruel)angel
Philippines253 Posts
I agree.. | ||
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brite
United Kingdom253 Posts
On December 14 2005 21:15 ahk-gosu wrote: ignore what people think about you. be yourself. change only for yourself and only change in a way you think is positive. easier said than done On December 14 2005 18:27 nicetoknowyou15 wrote: .. PM if you have no trouble saying hi to girls, but have trouble holding conversation. Got some advice for that to > so what is that advice ?? | ||
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Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
For all this information and more! Add me artoflogan@hotmail.com For all of those who don't know what that refers to, then go and see my thread that's IN THE HALL OF FAME "I need help...very badly." | ||
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
i agree that probably: A - what you think people think about you B - what you do in response to these thoughts either A or B or both is wrong. but ignoring A altogether to stop the chain is probably stupid too and just a new, more retarded form of B. the issue is _changing_ A or B to something better. | ||
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CoralReefer
Canada2069 Posts
this has changed my life | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
i hope you guys dont think they meant it to be taken seriously.. o.Oa | ||
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ahk-gosu
Korea (South)2099 Posts
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
On December 15 2005 09:38 mnm wrote: I think that ladder thing is bs.. but perhaps only bec it doesn't apply to me.. i hope you guys dont think they meant it to be taken seriously.. o.Oa what girls think of what they do and what they do are pretty different things, i've found | ||
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CoralReefer
Canada2069 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
On December 15 2005 09:48 mitsy wrote: what girls think of what they do and what they do are pretty different things, i've found str_replace("girls", | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
On December 15 2005 10:43 ml1710 wrote: so mnm, have you made any progress yet ? i made one female friend.. i think.. i went shopping with her and she got me a dress for my company Christmas party. everyone loved the dress ^^. um.. i still stare at the floor when i walk though.. and i even keep my hood on so u can barely see my eyes.. but i dont care much for interaction with random strangers in the street anyway. i think i can hold 1v1 conversations in gatherings/party settings.. but my 1v1 is inconsistent.. sometimes i do well, sometimes i perform poorly. my team game needs some work though but i guess theres less pressure for me to talk during that circumstance.. i jus end up staying in the background n laughing.. hmm.. in clubs the situation is very awkward.. i dont think that is a good place to make friends at all. | ||
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
That would just seem weird to me in a climate where it's 70 degrees and sunny everyday. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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XaI)CyRiC
United States4471 Posts
I am naturally quite shy, but have learned to get over it. One thing that helped me a lot in terms of talking to people I don't know was working at the front desk of my dad's business. On one hand, I built friendships with my co-workers, and, on the other, I was forced to talk to strangers everyday because it was my job. When it comes to shyness, you really have to find a way to force yourself to come out of your shell because it's too easy to default back to your anti-social tendencies. It also helps to have friends who will support and help you, it's easier to put yourself out there when you have people you are comfortable with around. Clubs and bars are not ideal places for shy people for a variety of reasons, unless you plan on following the very popular method of using alcohol to overcome your shyness. If you're looking to meet new people, the best way is to meet them through existing friends. There's an initial filter that makes it more likely that you'll have something in common with the new people, and you'll have your friend to help introduce you and make you comfortable in the setting. When it comes to actual interaction, it just comes down to finding something you and the other person can talk about. Whether it's something you agree upon or something you can have a friendly debate about, just something that interests both parties. Smiling and not looking at the floor or ceiling can help to make the other person think you're interested in your interaction. Don't think that helps much, but just my two cents. Oh, and So Cal IS much better than No Cal in terms of warmer weather, although both are probably better as compared to other areas. As any other TL.netter would, I would be glad to meet up and hang out if you ever drive into the LA area. You have a network already in place to begin meeting people and being more social. With TL.net you have friends waiting for you in almost every part of the world, may as well take advantage of it | ||
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RaGe
Belgium9945 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
working in a place where u have to talk to strangers as part of your job doesn't help. i've done that. i worked in a computer lab as a computer consultant/assistant/student computer consulting services.. its completely different because its not like you try to engage yourself in conversation with them.. you aren't trying to find topics to talk about bec u already have that ("whats the problem with your computer" ).. it doesn't really help social skills much. | ||
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Tycho
Netherlands351 Posts
others will notice your own confidence and your 'being happy with yourself' in all the random conversation --> and they will contribute more to the conversation --> you will have more to talk about --> you'll find out that conversation isn't something you 'try' , it just flows from the basic stuff, almost every conversation starts 'randomly' : just either start talking a bit about urself or / and the other person or / and the things around you confidently ! i guess what i just said is body language helps (don't TRY being confident, BE confident) | ||
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Resse
307 Posts
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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Sadist
United States7205 Posts
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collegeBored
United States1524 Posts
On December 15 2005 09:38 mnm wrote: I think that ladder thing is bs.. but perhaps only bec it doesn't apply to me.. i hope you guys dont think they meant it to be taken seriously.. o.Oa would u mind explaining how that doesn't apply to you lol to quote the "bible": ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he? as for whether or not it was meant to be taken seriously, again, to quote him: "nothing is JUST satire", so while there are obviously exceptions to every rule, the theory still holds true to extreme majority of occasions | ||
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ManaBlue
Canada10458 Posts
On December 12 2005 23:08 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote: a derp a doop uh tiddly tum de doop And he's about to find out...that being 8, ain't so great. Rob Schnider is...Kenny. On December 15 2005 09:38 mnm wrote: I think that ladder thing is bs.. but perhaps only bec it doesn't apply to me.. i hope you guys dont think they meant it to be taken seriously.. o.Oa Obviously you feel that way. All girls do, that's the point. It's actually written into the ladder if you read it. | ||
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funkie
Venezuela9374 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:07 mitsy wrote: want a build order? Holy fucking shit, I laughed at this like 3 mins in a row today, omfg ! ! >.<!! Gettin' into the topic, I was like you, and I still am, but there are "rare" times when I drop my shyness somewhere, and I became soo relaxed with everything, I mean at parties I usually am A shy guy who just talks with their friends, recently, I went to this party, and I think I forgot about my shyness and I was all cool and relaxed, and was fucking amazingly funny with everyone, even with the people I do not even know. I think that way is cooler and it is better for you, cuz you learn that you have to be yourself, instead of being all inside yourself and not talking to others. | ||
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CuddlyCuteKitten
Sweden2547 Posts
I wouldn't really know though, I'm extremly extroverted so when I feel stressed out and insecure I tend to find people to talk to as a comfort (I'm probably quite annoying). So I have no real problem talking to random people except the standard Swedish Problem. (You Americans start talking to strangers about the weirdest things... And also in situations where I just go wtf? like on public transports and in resturants and stuff like that.) | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
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LetMeBeWithYou
Canada4254 Posts
On December 15 2005 09:39 ahk-gosu wrote: what i meant is. dont let peoples judgement about you hinder or slow you down. i didnt mean you can make an ass of yourself and it dont matter what they think. ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Kinda like you huh | ||
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Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
On December 15 2005 15:55 mnm wrote: o hey guys i have a situation for u.. say u get to meet ur bw god (yellow in my case).. you know they dont speak much korean but you have a translator close by.. what would you talk to them about? what would you say? and even if they spoke in english.. what is there to say? Yellow doesn't speak much Korean? I'd be surprised. Usually a conversation flows...>.< It's not based on thinking what to say usually...if it's a casual/social conversation you just speak about something general...i.e. "Hi how's it going?" Then someone will usually say..."Oh not too bad, I just had a bad day at work...damn boss." Me: "Why what's your boss up to?" Them: "Fucker makes me work overtime almost everyday." Me: "That's a bitch, you should stab him." Them: "Haha I feel like it." Me: "Well I dunno, is there anything you can do about it?" Them: "I think I'll apply for another job...this one kinda sucks, I have to do all this shit menial labour all day...pushing papers...printing." Me: "Yeah that sucks, me...I just want to win the lottery. :D" Them: "Yeah man, so do 10000000 other people." Me: "Oh well...I want to win it more, thus my chances of winning are increased." Them: "Haha yeah, that's how it works for sure. "Me: "It's good to dream you BASTARD, IT'S GOOD TO DREAM." Them: "Caps lock is auto-pilot for cool." Me: "o rly?" Them: "Haha, newb. We need something original." Me: "How about...you're a medieval vagina...haha." Them: "Wtf dude, I am definitely not a medieval vagina...wtf is that anyway?" Me: "Haha it looks like this |<+>|" Them: "...." Me: "Meh, who cares...all that matters is that you are one." Them: "Bear shit." Me: "Bullshit ran out?" Them: "No, it's just that bear shit is more micro-intensive." Me: "Yeah, since like Boxer is well renowned for his bear shit micro." Them: "Haha, well it's not really like horse shit or llama shit is going to do the job." Me: "Oh well, you can't win them all. You spend a whole day at work and all you get is bear shit." Them: "Such is life." Me: "C'est la vie." Them: "Wtf did you call me?" Me: "It's French you mole." Them: "Oh right...for what? Bear shit?" Me: "No it means, suck is life. Me: "such*" Them: "Haha suck is life, sounds like a porn site." Me: "Well obviously you'd know about all the male porn industry websites." Them: "Hey bitch, I said SOUNDS LIKE, SOUNDS LIKE. I just made it up, if it is one then so be it." Me: "Haha, why don't you go and check? You're obviously interested in the area." Them: "Man, I don't need this after a hard day of work...I need a cold beer." Me: "You'd prefer a warm cock though, faggy mcfaggerson." Them: "...." Me: "Sorry that was a low-blow...(much like on your male porn sites) Them: "Seriously dude thats enough now. "Me: "My bad." Them: "Ok...so anyhow...let's go over there and get something to eat...then we can walk around being cool." Me: "Sweet." Whereas with Yellow in real life you might approach him with: mnm: "Hey it's cool to finally meet you. I'm one of your biggest fans outside of Korea." Yellow: "-_- kk gl gl" mnm: "Excuse me?" Yellow: "-______- me chobo man" mnm: "Uhh...ok." Yellow: "T_______T me no good, me control today very chobo, hasu, you are gosu ^_^ please." mnm: "I was just saying how much of a fan I am of you." Yellow: "runa, runa gogo." mnm: "Man, I was trying to start a conversation with you...why must you do this to me?" Yellow: "sorry me arm full of tiredness" mnm: "Look, I have a translator here now...now we can talk. :D" Yellow: "gl hf gg" mnm: "So Yellow, how've you been? Would you like a drink? Perhaps coffee...I know a good place." Yellow: "Ah, finally I can spread my wings and learn to fly. The inherent problem with my English is that I can not properly express myself openly and honestly. I would positively abhor myself if I did not accompany you to ye olde coffee shoppe for some pleasant potables." mnm: "Whoa...gosu." Yellow: "Please, enough flattery...mayhaps we shall proceed to the shop where we shall purchase coffee with the ambivalent textures of the Moroccan mountains." mnm: "I was going to ask you a few questions about your life as a progamer." Yellow: "That's all that anyone every asks me, perhaps you shall be the first to ask me about more important matters." mnm: "Am I getting laid tonight?" Yellow: "Darn tootin'" mnm: "chogosu" Yellow: "gl hf." Well despite the burlesque dialogue as exhibited in my post...you just go with the flow...talk about things...use references to things and use humour...and shit. It's easy. | ||
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CoralReefer
Canada2069 Posts
even though you made up super long hypothetical conversations | ||
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TruthBringer
United States578 Posts
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
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XaI)CyRiC
United States4471 Posts
On December 15 2005 14:12 mnm wrote: lol. tl.net ppl r no prob.. theyre like instant friends usually. hehe. working in a place where u have to talk to strangers as part of your job doesn't help. i've done that. i worked in a computer lab as a computer consultant/assistant/student computer consulting services.. its completely different because its not like you try to engage yourself in conversation with them.. you aren't trying to find topics to talk about bec u already have that ("whats the problem with your computer" ).. it doesn't really help social skills much. Well it's good that you consider TL.net people to be instant friends because there are quite a lot of them. Bottom line though, work from what you know and grow from there. It's easier to build on a strong foundation than just randomly picking a spot different from usual and trying to construct something you've never tried. Take whatever group of friends you have now and branch out from them. As to the working where you have to talk to strangers helping you, I was referring more to the "approach" portion. I think most people, once they've broken the ice and started a conversation with a person, will be okay as long as there's SOME common interest between the two (most importantly the interest in continuing to talk to each other). I'm not sure if your prior job made you more comfortable with initiating conversation with strangers you would normally never talk to, but if it did, you're already halfway there. Once you get past the approach/icebreaking stage, then you can refer to Smurg's post. It really is just about letting a conversation flow on its own, although you can learn small tricks to get things going or to jumpstart things if they slow down or stop altogether. Whenever a particular path of conversation peters out, just go back to your home base of things you two have to have in common, i.e. reasons why you're at the party/bar/get-together, common friends, etc. Personally, I've never struggled too much with the post-approach part of socializing, so I can't help you much there. For me, it's always been intiating and approaching people that made me apprehensive. | ||
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IronMentality
United States1129 Posts
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Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
On December 16 2005 01:46 IronMentality wrote: I am telling you, the Regis thing is gold. I don't get it. Honestly. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
Internet != reality. Forgot to mention that one. So WPM basically doesn't exist in RL. Edit: I am drunk. | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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Ready2[ESC]
Hungary1436 Posts
On December 16 2005 07:48 mnm wrote: So I realized something.. it has been pointed out that I am a lot more verbose through written word than verbal communication. I feel like I have a direct connection between what I think and what I type. However, when I am talking to someone in person, it takes a lot more process time for me to listen to what they say, process in my brain what they are trying to tell me, understand their meaning, think about my response to what they are saying, find the words to be able to state that response, then end up saying what I have to say. My boyfriend is trying to teach me to learn how to think ahead as well as verbalize my thoughts and think about what to say in parallel rather than serial processing. This way, the talking part becomes more automatic and the thinking part can become a background process which leads to a faster output time overall o.O;;. This is supposed to increase my WPM and speed up my thinking time. haha cute one  | ||
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
On December 16 2005 07:48 mnm wrote: So I realized something.. it has been pointed out that I am a lot more verbose through written word than verbal communication. this is vry common I feel like I have a direct connection between what I think and what I type. maybe what you're getting at is that you can type without hesitation. i think this is because there are no consequences. you can backspace, you can choose not to send. and the people are not looking at you, there is no situation, no eye contact, no commitment. only words. but the world is not as simple as words at all, and neither is thinking. However, when I am talking to someone in person, it takes a lot more process time for me to listen to what they say, process in my brain what they are trying to tell me, understand their meaning, think about my response to what they are saying, find the words to be able to state that response, then end up saying what I have to say. that's because there's just more information there--some of it we can only struggle to put into words. words do not fit everything for us easily. if you could freeze time during a face to face conversation you could find an hour's worth of words about that moment. thought, fortunately, is NOT words but something beneath that. it is what gives us impressions and words while letting us gloss over others, sometimes we are aware and controlling this process and sometimes not. it is all a mixture. i think when you say "find the words" you are showing that your struggle is because it is harder to "know what you think" (in words, for the situation) when the situation is less certain. text is certain, but this hours of words that you don't have time to go through can never be certain. when you are face to face, the whole situation complicates things, and there is more committment and less "room for error," too. My boyfriend is trying to teach me to learn how to think (sorry i just thought this was funny out of context) ahead as well as verbalize my thoughts and think about what to say in parallel rather than serial processing. This way, the talking part becomes more automatic and the thinking part can become a background process which leads to a faster output time overall o.O;;. This is supposed to increase my WPM and speed up my thinking time. i think by "parallel processing" what is trying to be got at is not trying to focus in purely on the words, because in a conversation you also "feel" that this isn't working, but if you keep only looking for words, it is just a struggle. you have to let inputs come in, not just words. you are already automatic, but you are automatically stopping yourself and demanding more certainty and lack of committment than can happen in face-to-face. | ||
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