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Help the shy quiet antisocial introvert...

Forum Index > General Forum
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1 2 3 4 5 11 12 13 Next All
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
November 30 2005 13:05 GMT
#1
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:11:18
November 30 2005 13:07 GMT
#2
want a build order?

edit:
no, seriously. shyness is not your essence. it's a symptom. and you're looking for a perscription to relieve it. but when it comes to personality, it's up to your own interpretation of yourself and others--first you must admit those to yourself in their fullest terms, then be open to argument about how others see those differently. even if you commit to practicing others' interpretations wholeheartedly, thereby being "less shy," it takes more time than most people realize. you are experienced when it comes to being shy. to put it in terms you'll understand: you are gosu at it. if you switch races, you will be noob. and you'll want to fall back on your shy-related patterns, (interpretations, coping mechanisms, etc.) so you must slowly build up a whole new way of dealing with things, seeing things, and so on. it takes TIME, more than people are willing to accept. you must accept gradual changes as a goal, meaning 4-6 weeks of TRYING something before really seeing how it pans out--small things, like telling yourself to think X Y Z about people instead of your old A B C. and these are the kinsd of things that are hard to stick to and easy to forget (easy to relapse!)

now that you understand everything... i have shown you the path. but knowing the path is very different from walking the path. i can bring you to the door but only you can go through it. become gosu random player!
express yourself--madonna
1hp
Profile Joined January 2005
Korea (South)903 Posts
November 30 2005 13:07 GMT
#3
yeah sounds like me....stopped being able to look people in the eye without being nervous after a bad experience
[X]Ken_D
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
United States4650 Posts
November 30 2005 13:09 GMT
#4
If you want fast results then try doing group sports. Easy to meet friends. Sort of like the Starcraft experience minus the anti-social aspect of it being online.
[X]Domain - I just do the website. Nothing more.
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
November 30 2005 13:14 GMT
#5
another idea i have is a game where you talk through a microphone a lot. that might be a good intermediate step. like this guy i know who plays WoW all day. he seems almost socially adequate. having a job will help too. get a shitty easy job and it will no doubt you building an endurance to interacting with horrible people
express yourself--madonna
YoUr_KiLLeR
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States3420 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:15:48
November 30 2005 13:15 GMT
#6
i didnt expect mnm to be this thread starter =P

edit: but then again, i dont know you very well at all
what the fuck do you have to say for yourself now you protoss jackass can you retaliate in any way
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
November 30 2005 13:15 GMT
#7
--- Nuked ---
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
November 30 2005 13:16 GMT
#8
yeah i think randomko makes me think of another thing. maybe you could just passively observe people a bit more. maybe your habit is too much to look away, and just by people watching you could learn a lot about what people want, what they like, and where you could fit in comfortably
express yourself--madonna
GeeyoUkNIT
Profile Joined July 2005
434 Posts
November 30 2005 13:18 GMT
#9
lol I was HELLA shy back in the days, but i moved up like hella, and now act as if im hyper or something. took me about 7 years though. some things to do are, keep your head up (omg i never wanna talk to people walking with their heads down), smile -exercise those muscles, keep eye contact, if your in talking distance from an other person and their not talking to anyone talk to them!

if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better.
skyglow1
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
New Zealand3962 Posts
November 30 2005 13:19 GMT
#10
On November 30 2005 22:15 randomKo_Orean wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote:
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..


are you joking?
dont be quiet, reach out

no guys or girls will refuse if you start a friendly convo with them (About anything)


Friendly convo of starcraft = no re

skyglow1
collegeBored
Profile Joined November 2002
United States1524 Posts
November 30 2005 13:21 GMT
#11
what.. the.. fuck.. u gotta be kidding.
The stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, the wise forgive but never forget.
collegeBored
Profile Joined November 2002
United States1524 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:34:06
November 30 2005 13:29 GMT
#12
On November 30 2005 22:18 GeeyoUkNIT wrote:
if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better.

i disagree, i think arguements make the best conversations, if both people can be mature about it. if you pick something u both agree on it just ends up with
-hi
-hi
-i think [blah]
-yup
-....

if you have different opinions on something it makes it easier to talk about it and express your own

oh and of course a good motto to live by is
"life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery"
The stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, the wise forgive but never forget.
HeadBangaa
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
United States6512 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:39:30
November 30 2005 13:35 GMT
#13
On November 30 2005 22:18 GeeyoUkNIT wrote:
lol I was HELLA shy back in the days, but i moved up like hella, and now act as if im hyper or something. took me about 7 years though. some things to do are, keep your head up (omg i never wanna talk to people walking with their heads down), smile -exercise those muscles, keep eye contact, if your in talking distance from an other person and their not talking to anyone talk to them!

if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better.
You hella sound like you're from Nor Cal

EDIT: Original poster, you're one of our rare female members, right? I always confuse you with mrmin or whoever, names look kinda similar. I met a helluva lotta great people at work. Half of my best friends are coworkers.
People who fail to distinguish Socratic Method from malicious trolling are sadly stupid and not worth a response.
OhThatDang
Profile Joined August 2004
United States4685 Posts
November 30 2005 13:37 GMT
#14
whats a good topic when communicating with girls anyways
troi oi thang map nai!!!
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
November 30 2005 13:37 GMT
#15
--- Nuked ---
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
November 30 2005 13:41 GMT
#16
if you're a shy female my advice is way different, probably. i'm not sure why yet. so post if you're female. i was answering as though you were male.
express yourself--madonna
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
November 30 2005 13:43 GMT
#17
--- Nuked ---
lastprobeALIVE
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States973 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:44:44
November 30 2005 13:44 GMT
#18
if you're good looking, guys want you, not the other way around
edit: start to party A LOT
when in doubt DT out
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:49:22
November 30 2005 13:45 GMT
#19
--- Nuked ---
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 13:59:28
November 30 2005 13:56 GMT
#20
yeah it might work, i just am pretty sure i would have said much different things. hmm. well, assuming he/she is in the U.S., basically you really have men and women with very different access to culture(s). u have a mainstream girl culture, mainstream guy culture, then u have losers who band together and play d&d, shit like that. so i guess i go back to my original point that the "shyness" needs to be defined in more concrete terms and its cause brought to light

one thing i am thinking of is how likable girls can be to many many guys very easily. sincere simling, confidence, aggressiveness, proximity can go a LONG way. so it depends what u mean by shyness. if you want some shallow bitches to like you, then you, well, have to make them feel good about themselves and use you probably. most girls who can't be popular and think they're all high and mighty would do the same thing if they had the opportunity/skills. non-bitches are rare, and they're sitll kinda bitchy if you ask me. most guys are bitches too. in fact, most species are bitches. except sloths. they fucking rock.
express yourself--madonna
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