Help the shy quiet antisocial introvert... - Page 13

LetMeBeWithYou

Canada4254 Posts

December 15 2005 07:12 GMT

#241

On December 15 2005 09:39 ahk-gosu wrote:
what i meant is. dont let peoples judgement about you hinder or slow you down. i didnt mean you can make an ass of yourself and it dont matter what they think.

ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Kinda like you huh

Smurg

Australia3818 Posts

December 15 2005 10:28 GMT

#242

On December 15 2005 15:55 mnm wrote:
o hey guys i have a situation for u.. say u get to meet ur bw god (yellow in my case).. you know they dont speak much korean but you have a translator close by.. what would you talk to them about? what would you say? and even if they spoke in english.. what is there to say?

Yellow doesn't speak much Korean? I'd be surprised.

Usually a conversation flows...>.< It's not based on thinking what to say usually...if it's a casual/social conversation you just speak about something general...i.e. "Hi how's it going?" Then someone will usually say..."Oh not too bad, I just had a bad day at work...damn boss."

Me: "Why what's your boss up to?"
Them: "Fucker makes me work overtime almost everyday."
Me: "That's a bitch, you should stab him."
Them: "Haha I feel like it."
Me: "Well I dunno, is there anything you can do about it?"
Them: "I think I'll apply for another job...this one kinda sucks, I have to do all this shit menial labour all day...pushing papers...printing."
Me: "Yeah that sucks, me...I just want to win the lottery. :D"
Them: "Yeah man, so do 10000000 other people."
Me: "Oh well...I want to win it more, thus my chances of winning are increased."
Them: "Haha yeah, that's how it works for sure.

"
Me: "It's good to dream you BASTARD, IT'S GOOD TO DREAM."
Them: "Caps lock is auto-pilot for cool."
Me: "o rly?"
Them: "Haha, newb. We need something original."
Me: "How about...you're a medieval vagina...haha."
Them: "Wtf dude, I am definitely not a medieval vagina...wtf is that anyway?"
Me: "Haha it looks like this |<+>|"
Them: "...."
Me: "Meh, who cares...all that matters is that you are one."
Them: "Bear shit."
Me: "Bullshit ran out?"
Them: "No, it's just that bear shit is more micro-intensive."
Me: "Yeah, since like Boxer is well renowned for his bear shit micro."
Them: "Haha, well it's not really like horse shit or llama shit is going to do the job."
Me: "Oh well, you can't win them all. You spend a whole day at work and all you get is bear shit."
Them: "Such is life."
Me: "C'est la vie."
Them: "Wtf did you call me?"
Me: "It's French you mole."
Them: "Oh right...for what? Bear shit?"
Me: "No it means, suck is life.
Me: "such*"
Them: "Haha suck is life, sounds like a porn site."
Me: "Well obviously you'd know about all the male porn industry websites."
Them: "Hey bitch, I said SOUNDS LIKE, SOUNDS LIKE. I just made it up, if it is one then so be it."
Me: "Haha, why don't you go and check? You're obviously interested in the area."
Them: "Man, I don't need this after a hard day of work...I need a cold beer."
Me: "You'd prefer a warm cock though, faggy mcfaggerson."
Them: "...."
Me: "Sorry that was a low-blow...(much like on your male porn sites)
Them: "Seriously dude thats enough now.

"
Me: "My bad."
Them: "Ok...so anyhow...let's go over there and get something to eat...then we can walk around being cool."
Me: "Sweet."

Whereas with Yellow in real life you might approach him with:

mnm: "Hey it's cool to finally meet you. I'm one of your biggest fans outside of Korea."
Yellow: "-_- kk gl gl"
mnm: "Excuse me?"
Yellow: "-______- me chobo man"
mnm: "Uhh...ok."
Yellow: "T_______T me no good, me control today very chobo, hasu, you are gosu ^_^ please."
mnm: "I was just saying how much of a fan I am of you."
Yellow: "runa, runa gogo."
mnm: "Man, I was trying to start a conversation with you...why must you do this to me?"
Yellow: "sorry me arm full of tiredness"
mnm: "Look, I have a translator here now...now we can talk. :D"
Yellow: "gl hf gg"
mnm: "So Yellow, how've you been? Would you like a drink? Perhaps coffee...I know a good place."
Yellow: "Ah, finally I can spread my wings and learn to fly. The inherent problem with my English is that I can not properly express myself openly and honestly. I would positively abhor myself if I did not accompany you to ye olde coffee shoppe for some pleasant potables."
mnm: "Whoa...gosu."
Yellow: "Please, enough flattery...mayhaps we shall proceed to the shop where we shall purchase coffee with the ambivalent textures of the Moroccan mountains."
mnm: "I was going to ask you a few questions about your life as a progamer."
Yellow: "That's all that anyone every asks me, perhaps you shall be the first to ask me about more important matters."
mnm: "Am I getting laid tonight?"
Yellow: "Darn tootin'"
mnm: "chogosu"
Yellow: "gl hf."

Well despite the burlesque dialogue as exhibited in my post...you just go with the flow...talk about things...use references to things and use humour...and shit. It's easy.

CoralReefer

Canada2069 Posts

December 15 2005 11:17 GMT

#243

great post,
even though you made up super long hypothetical conversations

TruthBringer

United States578 Posts

December 15 2005 11:45 GMT

#244

I liked it better when Yellow's answers were all nonsense and starcraft typing

IronMentality

United States1129 Posts

December 15 2005 12:16 GMT

#245

Start referring to yourself as "Regis" in public and you will become the social queen of the United States.

XaI)CyRiC

United States4471 Posts

December 15 2005 14:34 GMT

#246

On December 15 2005 14:12 mnm wrote:
lol. tl.net ppl r no prob.. theyre like instant friends usually. hehe.

working in a place where u have to talk to strangers as part of your job doesn't help. i've done that. i worked in a computer lab as a computer consultant/assistant/student computer consulting services.. its completely different because its not like you try to engage yourself in conversation with them.. you aren't trying to find topics to talk about bec u already have that ("whats the problem with your computer" ).. it doesn't really help social skills much.

Well it's good that you consider TL.net people to be instant friends because there are quite a lot of them. Bottom line though, work from what you know and grow from there. It's easier to build on a strong foundation than just randomly picking a spot different from usual and trying to construct something you've never tried. Take whatever group of friends you have now and branch out from them.

As to the working where you have to talk to strangers helping you, I was referring more to the "approach" portion. I think most people, once they've broken the ice and started a conversation with a person, will be okay as long as there's SOME common interest between the two (most importantly the interest in continuing to talk to each other). I'm not sure if your prior job made you more comfortable with initiating conversation with strangers you would normally never talk to, but if it did, you're already halfway there.

Once you get past the approach/icebreaking stage, then you can refer to Smurg's post. It really is just about letting a conversation flow on its own, although you can learn small tricks to get things going or to jumpstart things if they slow down or stop altogether. Whenever a particular path of conversation peters out, just go back to your home base of things you two have to have in common, i.e. reasons why you're at the party/bar/get-together, common friends, etc.

Personally, I've never struggled too much with the post-approach part of socializing, so I can't help you much there. For me, it's always been intiating and approaching people that made me apprehensive.

IronMentality

United States1129 Posts

December 15 2005 16:46 GMT

#247

I am telling you, the Regis thing is gold.

Smurg

Australia3818 Posts

December 15 2005 17:48 GMT

#248

On December 16 2005 01:46 IronMentality wrote:
I am telling you, the Regis thing is gold.

I don't get it. Honestly.

mnm

United States4493 Posts

December 15 2005 22:48 GMT

#249

So I realized something.. it has been pointed out that I am a lot more verbose through written word than verbal communication. I feel like I have a direct connection between what I think and what I type. However, when I am talking to someone in person, it takes a lot more process time for me to listen to what they say, process in my brain what they are trying to tell me, understand their meaning, think about my response to what they are saying, find the words to be able to state that response, then end up saying what I have to say. My boyfriend is trying to teach me to learn how to think ahead as well as verbalize my thoughts and think about what to say in parallel rather than serial processing. This way, the talking part becomes more automatic and the thinking part can become a background process which leads to a faster output time overall o.O;;. This is supposed to increase my WPM and speed up my thinking time.

Smurg

Australia3818 Posts

December 15 2005 23:05 GMT

#250

Oh.

Internet != reality. Forgot to mention that one. So WPM basically doesn't exist in RL.

Edit: I am drunk.

mnm

United States4493 Posts

December 16 2005 01:11 GMT

#251

yes it does.. it really depends on what you are referring to.. wpm is the words per minute u can speak in this case.

Ready2[ESC]

Hungary1436 Posts

December 16 2005 01:51 GMT

#252

On December 16 2005 07:48 mnm wrote:
So I realized something.. it has been pointed out that I am a lot more verbose through written word than verbal communication. I feel like I have a direct connection between what I think and what I type. However, when I am talking to someone in person, it takes a lot more process time for me to listen to what they say, process in my brain what they are trying to tell me, understand their meaning, think about my response to what they are saying, find the words to be able to state that response, then end up saying what I have to say. My boyfriend is trying to teach me to learn how to think ahead as well as verbalize my thoughts and think about what to say in parallel rather than serial processing. This way, the talking part becomes more automatic and the thinking part can become a background process which leads to a faster output time overall o.O;;. This is supposed to increase my WPM and speed up my thinking time.

haha cute one

mitsy

United States1792 Posts

December 16 2005 02:41 GMT

#253

On December 16 2005 07:48 mnm wrote:
So I realized something.. it has been pointed out that I am a lot more verbose through written word than verbal communication.

this is vry common

I feel like I have a direct connection between what I think and what I type.

maybe what you're getting at is that you can type without hesitation. i think this is because there are no consequences. you can backspace, you can choose not to send. and the people are not looking at you, there is no situation, no eye contact, no commitment. only words. but the world is not as simple as words at all, and neither is thinking.

However, when I am talking to someone in person, it takes a lot more process time for me to listen to what they say, process in my brain what they are trying to tell me, understand their meaning, think about my response to what they are saying, find the words to be able to state that response, then end up saying what I have to say.

that's because there's just more information there--some of it we can only struggle to put into words. words do not fit everything for us easily. if you could freeze time during a face to face conversation you could find an hour's worth of words about that moment. thought, fortunately, is NOT words but something beneath that. it is what gives us impressions and words while letting us gloss over others, sometimes we are aware and controlling this process and sometimes not. it is all a mixture. i think when you say "find the words" you are showing that your struggle is because it is harder to "know what you think" (in words, for the situation) when the situation is less certain. text is certain, but this hours of words that you don't have time to go through can never be certain. when you are face to face, the whole situation complicates things, and there is more committment and less "room for error," too.

My boyfriend is trying to teach me to learn how to think

(sorry i just thought this was funny out of context)

ahead as well as verbalize my thoughts and think about what to say in parallel rather than serial processing. This way, the talking part becomes more automatic and the thinking part can become a background process which leads to a faster output time overall o.O;;. This is supposed to increase my WPM and speed up my thinking time.

i think by "parallel processing" what is trying to be got at is not trying to focus in purely on the words, because in a conversation you also "feel" that this isn't working, but if you keep only looking for words, it is just a struggle. you have to let inputs come in, not just words. you are already automatic, but you are automatically stopping yourself and demanding more certainty and lack of committment than can happen in face-to-face.

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