EPTHelp the shy quiet antisocial introvert... - Page 3
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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nortydog
Australia3067 Posts
On December 01 2005 01:02 brite wrote:...paragraph... I have/had the same problems as you, not being able to continue conversations and whenever people would stare into my eyes when talking my id get extremely nervous and my neck muscles would tense forcing me to look away. Like you im also pretty talkative after having a bit to drink, even one beer really helps you relax  I think im finally over it now, the best advice I can give is just to try forget about it and remember that most people aren't judging you. I remember about a year ago all that was on my mind was "my anxiety problem" and the stupid feeling that I was being judged in everything I do, the truth is your not and the problem is all in your head, my guess is your overly self-concious, like I was. Just try focus on other things than how you think other people see you, you cant change that. Dont just throw yourself out there either, bad experiences will hurt you alot because stick in your memory and you will remember it each time your put back into that situation(interviews for me) as you probly already know, take it slow, forget about it and with the help of a few beers you'll soon be fine  | ||
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brite
United Kingdom253 Posts
On December 01 2005 01:41 nortydog wrote: I have/had the same problems as you, not being able to continue conversations and whenever people would stare into my eyes when talking my id get extremely nervous and my neck muscles would tense forcing me to look away. Like you im also pretty talkative after having a bit to drink, even one beer really helps you relax I think im finally over it now, the best advice I can give is just to try forget about it and remember that most people aren't judging you. I remember about a year ago all that was on my mind was "my anxiety problem" and the stupid feeling that I was being judged in everything I do, the truth is your not and the problem is all in your head, my guess is your overly self-concious, like I was. Just try focus on other things than how you think other people see you, you cant change that. Dont just throw yourself out there either, bad experiences will hurt you alot because stick in your memory and you will remember it each time your put back into that situation(interviews for me) as you probly already know, take it slow, forget about it and with the help of a few beers you'll soon be fine so basically just drink a few beer and then talk and after a while i don't need to be drunk any more to be talkative?? sounds great to me. i'll give it a try. | ||
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nortydog
Australia3067 Posts
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brite
United Kingdom253 Posts
On December 01 2005 01:14 Chibi[OWNS] wrote: mm dunno bout me it depends a lot more than on just facial expression ; total bodily expression brite that REALLY FUCKING bugs me....i want 2 know what causes 'nerves' other than simply rthe body's natural reaction to eg an important event why does it feel so shitty why do some ppl get it worse than others HOW DO U STOP IT???? mentally i am superior to this feeling but my body still feels nervous as fuck and i just dunno how 2 control it other than sum arduous mental blockage ie acting super overconfident and forgetting everything, but this is a total fuckiing change of mindset and not something i want to have to do hm sry m8 but i don't quite get ur point. what bugs u?? the way i act?? i can't do much about it. are u saying u are nervous to at important event?? well that's exactly my problem and i haven't jet figuered how to stop it. what helps if i have to talk like in front of several hundred people is if i can sit. i don't know why but for some strange reason that makes me less nervous and you can only hear a trembling in my voice every now and then insted of all the time. funny quote from one of my teachers one day i had to stand in front of class "be confident, you're doing fine, be confident!" to say the truth that kinda helped me because after that every time i had to speek in front of class i'd not want the teacher to say something like that again. also we would make jokes about it all the time when we had to do some important oral so that also helped a lot. | ||
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fEAthEr
Canada482 Posts
get drunk.. again and again.. then get jealous on how the drunk you is more social and popular among girls.... then stay jealous youll fix up eventually  | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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nortydog
Australia3067 Posts
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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nortydog
Australia3067 Posts
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baal
10541 Posts
On December 01 2005 02:11 fEAthEr wrote: then get jealous on how the drunk you is more social and popular among girls.... lol that actually happens :D | ||
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FireBlast!
United Kingdom5251 Posts
Basically we're communicating all the time, the way we sit, the way we articulate ourselves, the way we stand etc. Researches show the best way to build a rapport with anybody is try consciously to a) mirror their body language- if they stand straight and tall, you stand straight and tall. If they slouch, you slouch while speaking to them. b) always smile and make a genuine attempt to at least appear interested in what theyre saying. anyway most of the time we subconsciously do these things already. why we find socialising awkward with some people is because we cannot easily feel comfortable and must make a conscious attempt at doing these things. | ||
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Chibi[OWNS]
United Kingdom10597 Posts
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Krzych
Poland693 Posts
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote: im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean.. alcohol! | ||
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Pistasj
Norway272 Posts
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Doctorasul
Romania1145 Posts
Don't be afraid to talk to people! Honestly, what's the WORST thing that could happen? Think about it, the absolute worst thing that can happen, it will be a LEARNING experience in the long run and a lot better than not trying in the first place. Go out there and try it! Force yourself the few couple of times if needed and, as Bill said, you'll soon learn how silly it was to believe people will reject you for a reason or another. If that's not an issue then you probably need to have more activities that involve other people. Go to a gym, that's good place to meet people. Take a photography class, or whatver interest you may have. Go to concerts more. | ||
Plexa
Aotearoa39261 Posts
"people talking about something" me "states opinion on that something" awkward silence "people continue on about sometihng different" me "states opinion on that something different" awkward silence... i live in a dorm, and i wuddnt consider my self shy (atleast no anymore) but i just shut up and some people think theres something wrong wif me (as i hardly ever talk to people becuz i end up killing convos etc)... also im not putting myself out there enough because of this- i just stay quiet in a circle of people, or going off on some tangent that no one cares about (getting the repeditive yea response) | ||
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KaasZerg
Netherlands927 Posts
Waiting for a train running late? Talk about it without complaining too much you might even pop up a witty remark and make someone grin. Then you stop don't push your luck maybe the other person will take over the innitiative. It starts with small things you have in common. People who you meet at such random occasions mostly won't become friends. Making friends happens when you see someone at a regular basis (there are exceptions).. What have you got to lose if you screw it up (what a weird chick). You probably won't meet them again so use it to gain a little convidence. Even trying it is a better achievement then not saying anything at all. | ||
Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
you're not ugly or fat and you're a girl who plays video games i'm sure you'll find a way | ||
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mitsy
United States1792 Posts
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