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Help the shy quiet antisocial introvert... - Page 3

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Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 16:36 GMT
#41
--- Nuked ---
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 16:46:13
November 30 2005 16:41 GMT
#42
On December 01 2005 01:02 brite wrote:...paragraph...
I have/had the same problems as you, not being able to continue conversations and whenever people would stare into my eyes when talking my id get extremely nervous and my neck muscles would tense forcing me to look away. Like you im also pretty talkative after having a bit to drink, even one beer really helps you relax

I think im finally over it now, the best advice I can give is just to try forget about it and remember that most people aren't judging you. I remember about a year ago all that was on my mind was "my anxiety problem" and the stupid feeling that I was being judged in everything I do, the truth is your not and the problem is all in your head, my guess is your overly self-concious, like I was.

Just try focus on other things than how you think other people see you, you cant change that.
Dont just throw yourself out there either, bad experiences will hurt you alot because stick in your memory and you will remember it each time your put back into that situation(interviews for me) as you probly already know, take it slow, forget about it and with the help of a few beers you'll soon be fine
NoCleanFeed.com
brite
Profile Joined January 2005
United Kingdom253 Posts
November 30 2005 16:48 GMT
#43
On December 01 2005 01:41 nortydog wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 01 2005 01:02 brite wrote:...paragraph...
I have/had the same problems as you, not being able to continue conversations and whenever people would stare into my eyes when talking my id get extremely nervous and my neck muscles would tense forcing me to look away. Like you im also pretty talkative after having a bit to drink, even one beer really helps you relax

I think im finally over it now, the best advice I can give is just to try forget about it and remember that most people aren't judging you. I remember about a year ago all that was on my mind was "my anxiety problem" and the stupid feeling that I was being judged in everything I do, the truth is your not and the problem is all in your head, my guess is your overly self-concious, like I was.

Just try focus on other things than how you think other people see you, you cant change that.
Dont just throw yourself out there either, bad experiences will hurt you alot because stick in your memory and you will remember it each time your put back into that situation(interviews for me) as you probly already know, take it slow, forget about it and with the help of a few beers you'll soon be fine

so basically just drink a few beer and then talk and after a while i don't need to be drunk any more to be talkative??
sounds great to me. i'll give it a try.
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-30 16:51:02
November 30 2005 16:50 GMT
#44
It worked for me, you really dont need to drink alot, just enough to be totally relaxed and not care what other people think
NoCleanFeed.com
brite
Profile Joined January 2005
United Kingdom253 Posts
November 30 2005 16:53 GMT
#45
On December 01 2005 01:14 Chibi[OWNS] wrote:
mm dunno bout me it depends a lot more than on just facial expression ; total bodily expression

brite that REALLY FUCKING bugs me....i want 2 know what causes 'nerves' other than simply rthe body's natural reaction to eg an important event
why does it feel so shitty
why do some ppl get it worse than others
HOW DO U STOP IT????
mentally i am superior to this feeling but my body still feels nervous as fuck and i just dunno how 2 control it other than sum arduous mental blockage ie acting super overconfident and forgetting everything, but this is a total fuckiing change of mindset and not something i want to have to do

hm sry m8 but i don't quite get ur point. what bugs u?? the way i act?? i can't do much about it.
are u saying u are nervous to at important event?? well that's exactly my problem and i haven't jet figuered how to stop it. what helps if i have to talk like in front of several hundred people is if i can sit. i don't know why but for some strange reason that makes me less nervous and you can only hear a trembling in my voice every now and then insted of all the time.
funny quote from one of my teachers one day i had to stand in front of class
"be confident, you're doing fine, be confident!"
to say the truth that kinda helped me because after that every time i had to speek in front of class i'd not want the teacher to say something like that again. also we would make jokes about it all the time when we had to do some important oral so that also helped a lot.
fEAthEr
Profile Joined July 2004
Canada482 Posts
November 30 2005 17:11 GMT
#46
DO IT LIKE I DID!


get drunk..

again and again..

then get jealous on how the drunk you is more social and popular among girls....

then stay jealous


youll fix up eventually
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 17:22 GMT
#47
--- Nuked ---
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
November 30 2005 17:23 GMT
#48
if your not sensible that is ^_^
NoCleanFeed.com
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 17:24 GMT
#49
--- Nuked ---
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
November 30 2005 17:41 GMT
#50
errr sounds like random thoughts I get all the time, I try not to let them bother me and as I said they totally dissapear after drinking. I was pretty sure OCD was the underlying problem behind my social problems, you're better off just ignoring it I suppose, I think its just part of my personality, i've never really felt any different.
NoCleanFeed.com
baal
Profile Joined March 2003
10541 Posts
November 30 2005 17:55 GMT
#51
On December 01 2005 02:11 fEAthEr wrote:

then get jealous on how the drunk you is more social and popular among girls....


lol that actually happens :D
Im back, in pog form!
FireBlast!
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United Kingdom5251 Posts
November 30 2005 17:57 GMT
#52
I've been learning a bit about Neurolinguistic programming, it's pretty interesting.
Basically we're communicating all the time, the way we sit, the way we articulate ourselves, the way we stand etc. Researches show the best way to build a rapport with anybody is try consciously to

a) mirror their body language- if they stand straight and tall, you stand straight and tall. If they slouch, you slouch while speaking to them.

b) always smile and make a genuine attempt to at least appear interested in what theyre saying.

anyway most of the time we subconsciously do these things already. why we find socialising awkward with some people is because we cannot easily feel comfortable and must make a conscious attempt at doing these things.
Victoria Concordia Crescit
Chibi[OWNS]
Profile Joined May 2003
United Kingdom10597 Posts
November 30 2005 18:12 GMT
#53
--- Nuked ---
Krzych
Profile Joined July 2003
Poland693 Posts
November 30 2005 18:24 GMT
#54
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote:
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..


alcohol!
Pistasj
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Norway272 Posts
November 30 2005 19:26 GMT
#55
From my experience with making friends is that you need to be versatile in you'r interrests and personality. I think life would be pretty dull if you only know how to keep conversations about one subject ( for instance broodwar). Basically I think it's good to have many interrests so that you leave your options open when you talk to someone. Also people might find you more interresting.


Doctorasul
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Romania1145 Posts
November 30 2005 19:28 GMT
#56
If you're nervous when trying to talk to people or find it difficult to keep eye contact, it's a problem of low self esteem. Start liking yourself more. Don't be so hard on yourself, always work on improving yourself and remember your succeses rather than your failures. Give yourself reasons to be proud of yourself and start showing it. People will notice.

Don't be afraid to talk to people! Honestly, what's the WORST thing that could happen? Think about it, the absolute worst thing that can happen, it will be a LEARNING experience in the long run and a lot better than not trying in the first place. Go out there and try it! Force yourself the few couple of times if needed and, as Bill said, you'll soon learn how silly it was to believe people will reject you for a reason or another.

If that's not an issue then you probably need to have more activities that involve other people. Go to a gym, that's good place to meet people. Take a photography class, or whatver interest you may have. Go to concerts more.
"I believe in Spinoza's god who reveals himself in the harmony of all that exists, but not in a god who concerns himself with the fate and actions of human beings." - Albert Einstein
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
November 30 2005 20:59 GMT
#57
i cant hold conversation about anything T_T, they go something like this
"people talking about something"
me "states opinion on that something"
awkward silence
"people continue on about sometihng different"
me "states opinion on that something different"
awkward silence...
i live in a dorm, and i wuddnt consider my self shy (atleast no anymore) but i just shut up and some people think theres something wrong wif me (as i hardly ever talk to people becuz i end up killing convos etc)... also im not putting myself out there enough because of this- i just stay quiet in a circle of people, or going off on some tangent that no one cares about (getting the repeditive yea response)
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
KaasZerg
Profile Joined November 2005
Netherlands927 Posts
November 30 2005 21:29 GMT
#58
You can make friends through your work. Unless they are jerks. Make jokes about the worksetting lighten things up without insulting anyone especially your boss. Find other social settings like a sport or a hobby were you share activities, doing things together face to face. Find people with the same interests. Dare to try something new but only pursue it if you really like it. Talking about what you like could lead to more intimate subjects and friendship. Talk to your neighbours, the busdriver, anyone to home your conversation skills.
Waiting for a train running late? Talk about it without complaining too much you might even pop up a witty remark and make someone grin. Then you stop don't push your luck maybe the other person will take over the innitiative. It starts with small things you have in common. People who you meet at such random occasions mostly won't become friends. Making friends happens when you see someone at a regular basis (there are exceptions).. What have you got to lose if you screw it up (what a weird chick). You probably won't meet them again so use it to gain a little convidence. Even trying it is a better achievement then not saying anything at all.
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36374 Posts
November 30 2005 21:58 GMT
#59
what the fuck

you're not ugly or fat and you're a girl who plays video games

i'm sure you'll find a way
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
mitsy
Profile Joined October 2005
United States1792 Posts
November 30 2005 22:01 GMT
#60
do cocaine, problem solvt.
express yourself--madonna
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