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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
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On May 24 2016 20:08 LemOn wrote:
Also Morfildur if your girl keeps swiping on Tinder regularly and keeps going on coffee meetings with guys from it you wouldn't find it strange?
Not really. She asked me whether I wanted to get a coffee and go to the cinema afterwards today while having said directly before that she isn't interested in anything more, so I don't see a reason why she wouldn't meet other people for coffee when she isn't romantically interested in them either.
Sure, if she finds someone interesting, chances are that she'd want more, but considering that most of her friends are male and also that she keeps meeting me for coffee 1-2 times a week despite lack of romantic interest means to me that she primarily wants to meet people and make friends.
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I meant your girl = your girlfriend in a committed relationship
If she spends time on tinder regularly and keeps meeting guys for coffee.
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On May 24 2016 21:13 LemOn wrote:
I meant your girl = your girlfriend in a committed relationship
If she spends time on tinder regularly and keeps meeting guys for coffee.
Well, as long as she's open about it, why not?
In the end it's no different than other ways of meeting people.
Should I forbid her to go for a coffee with male colleagues after work, too, because people sometimes have affairs with coworkers?
Should I forbid her to visit the guy she met through WoW, because sometimes people meet on WoW and end up marrying?
Should I forbid her from talking to strangers, because sometimes people get approached by charming strangers and end up falling in love?
Yes, Tinder is used mostly for dating, but if she wants to meet nice people then she can use whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't do anything behind my back.
I either trust her, then she can meet whomever she wants through whatever means she thinks would be best, or I don't trust her, in which case, why would I want to have her as my GF?
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 I guess that's a mature approach, I might be insecure of my gf spending time on an app designed to find people to pork instead of with me, her passions or friends with similar interests etc. When there's so many easier ways yo find suitable friends especially online (sites like internations, interest groups on facebook etc.)
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I'm sorry I know I said it before but people using Tinder to find friend to "just go have a coffee with" is such bullshit IMO. It's like a guy going to a gay bar to make new friends. Sure you might meet some nice people but essentially the majority of people there just want to fuck you and be done with it.
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On May 24 2016 23:53 B.I.G. wrote:
I'm sorry I know I said it before but people using Tinder to find friend to "just go have a coffee with" is such bullshit IMO. It's like a guy going to a gay bar to make new friends. Sure you might meet some nice people but essentially the majority of people there just want to fuck you and be done with it.
If you have to remove 99 out of 100 people that just want sex and you then meet the one out of 100 who becomes a great friend, is it worth it?
Sure, there are definitely better ways to find friends, but it's not like Tinder takes a lot of time if you live in a sparsely populated area. Two minutes a day and you pretty much swiped everyone who signed up today in a 30km radius. Ten seconds if you are like me and just press the like button for everyone.
On May 24 2016 23:22 LemOn wrote:I guess that's a mature approach, I might be insecure of my gf spending time on an app designed to find people to pork instead of with me, her passions or friends with similar interests etc. When there's so many easier ways yo find suitable friends especially online (sites like internations, interest groups on facebook etc.)
It's something that changes with the age of the girls/women you date. Once they get closer to the 30, you no longer become their whole life that they want to share everything and spend all their time with, you become only part of their life, next to career, friends and hobbies, and you're not even number one on the list. They've then been through several long relationships and know that relationships can come and go, but friendships last forever. It could be that this relationship lasts forever, but they've experienced enough that they are no longer willing to give up much of what they did before it.
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So, I have a second date this Friday, but sadly I blew out my lower back last friday. I'm almost back to full mobility (although everything is painful), but mainly getting out of and into chairs/bed is still painful, as is bending over. We were supposed to go bouldering, we already downgraded that to playing pool, but now I'm not sure I'll be able to do that either. I need some backup suggestions for things to do, on a Friday night (in Amsterdam), that involve doing something that is not sitting across eachother with drinks/food, and that don't stress my lower back. I'm pretty sure there was a list of suggestions in this thread somewhere, and I can't find it. Does anybody still have that list, or have some suggestions?
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Yeah lower back problems suck. Had them a while ago...
Depending how you are feeling, a yoga session could be a fun alternative. I have noticed that gymnastic/yoga movements are extremely nice to my back.
So if it is warm outside. Go to a park, grab two towels, warm up, do some fun yoga exercises, admire her buttocks in yoga pants, have a good long chat, then maybe end it with massaging each others backs.
+ Show Spoiler +It is sort of 'random'/unique so Lem0n might approve as well. He definitely will approve if you do 5 yoga sessions in 5 different parks 
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Anything in water (besides too much roughhousing, unfortunately) should be pretty good on your back 
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I've been steadily hitting on our yoga teacher. I think she likes me aswell but I feel it's kinda awkward to ask her out because there is always ppl around 
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Yeah it's awkward to ask out someone on your payroll.
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On May 25 2016 11:30 IgnE wrote:
Yeah it's awkward to ask out someone on your payroll.
I've got plenty of experience dating my secretaries 
She is not really in my payroll, she comes do a couple of classes per week freelance. Def not making a living.
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That's some real Mad Men shit.
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On May 25 2016 12:09 GoTuNk! wrote:I've got plenty of experience dating my secretaries
Hahah you wot m8. Well if you feel ballsy, tell her you want to talk with her after the session and ask her out. I feel like there is a possibility that you will have to swap class if it goes shitty though...
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dating your secretary is super weird because there is an inescapable power dynamic that makes true consent on her part a whole lot more difficult/foggy
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On May 25 2016 16:28 Cam Connor wrote:
dating your secretary is super weird because there is an inescapable power dynamic that makes true consent on her part a whole lot more difficult/foggy
It feels like she is more thinking "Fuck yeah, I'm getting a raise."
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I've never dated anyone that works for me but I know plenty of gals that bang their bosses. Heck if my boss was a good looking woman I'd probably do it as well.
But regardless of it being a bad idea or not I find it very understandable to have a thing for your boss.
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On May 25 2016 06:49 bloodwhore~ wrote:Yeah lower back problems suck. Had them a while ago... Depending how you are feeling, a yoga session could be a fun alternative. I have noticed that gymnastic/yoga movements are extremely nice to my back. So if it is warm outside. Go to a park, grab two towels, warm up, do some fun yoga exercises, admire her buttocks in yoga pants, have a good long chat, then maybe end it with massaging each others backs. + Show Spoiler +It is sort of 'random'/unique so Lem0n might approve as well. He definitely will approve if you do 5 yoga sessions in 5 different parks
As fun as I think this sounds, we'll be meeting at 9 PM (around the time it gets dark) and I don't think we're that comfortable with eachother yet. I also don't think my back will take it well.
On May 25 2016 06:53 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Anything in water (besides too much roughhousing, unfortunately) should be pretty good on your back
Swimming sounds fun too, but like the above we're not quite there yet. I'm too body conscious to go swimming with somebody on a second date.
Any other tips?
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On May 25 2016 18:32 Mikau wrote:
As fun as I think this sounds, we'll be meeting at 9 PM (around the time it gets dark) and I don't think we're that comfortable with eachother yet. I also don't think my back will take it well.
Any other tips?
Yeah that might be a bit late for chilling in a park. As for being comfortable, just take the leap. You don't have to be nude, and it's just a massage. The back might need more rest before you start rehab sure.
Other advice, maybe just do something really relaxing? Watch a movie at your or her place (maybe don't pitch it so it sounds like netflix and chill), make some dinner/desert, visit some museum. Or just any other normal activity that you think your back can handle. You don't have to come up with the most original date ever conceived.
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It's not just about my comfort, I would certainly consider getting over myself with somebody more open and outgoing. If my read is correct, my date is not that person. For the same reason inviting her to my place is probably a mistake.
Guess we'll just stick with the original back up back up plan (bringing board games to a bar).
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EPT
