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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
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Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On January 10 2016 22:59 Impervious wrote:
Eh, I've been flirting quite a bit with a girl at my work. She's only here on a temp job (she's covering for a medical leave), but she's also the daughter of a co-worker. I'm 27, she's 21, but she actually seems to have a pretty level head. Probably a bad idea, but fuck it, what's the worst that could happen?
Well I think based on your current mindset/ wording, you're not particularly worried about losing your job or things becoming awkward in the workplace, so I'd say go for it if you and her are comfortable with it.
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Love can indeed conquer all but getting a boner from that one girl at work is not love.
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On January 10 2016 14:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On January 10 2016 09:41 GoTuNk! wrote:On January 10 2016 02:35 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 10 2016 02:02 LemOn wrote:
love conquers all. And work is nothing close to stuff like religion etc. While "love conquers all" is obviously overly idealistic (and so not really worth addressing directly), work can be just as important (or moreso) to some people than religion, especially if the person isn't particularly religious. All of this is anecdotal, and depends on the priorities of the individual. There are plenty of people who would never date or marry someone outside of their own religion or race, and there are plenty of people who don't like to "shit where they eat" (mix their dating scene with their established work environment). You can't make sweeping generalizations like "What the girl said to you is bullshit because no one would ever choose their work over dating". You may disagree with the girl's list of priorities, but that doesn't mean she's a liar about her preferences. Imagine you were Brad Pitt in his thirties. What do you think she would do? Believe it or not, it's not the case that 100% of all women would throw away their careers and other plans to date Brad Pitt. Heck, just look at Shania Twain... She literally wrote a song about how simply being Brad Pitt don't impress (her) much.
People, and specially woman, say one thing and do another frequently, and also change their minds a lot.
Men charm to woman is more about personality and how you carry yourself than your actual appearance (that helps obviously). I was just trying to make a point obviously.
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On January 11 2016 01:13 GoTuNk! wrote:Show nested quote +On January 10 2016 14:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 10 2016 09:41 GoTuNk! wrote:On January 10 2016 02:35 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 10 2016 02:02 LemOn wrote:
love conquers all. And work is nothing close to stuff like religion etc. While "love conquers all" is obviously overly idealistic (and so not really worth addressing directly), work can be just as important (or moreso) to some people than religion, especially if the person isn't particularly religious. All of this is anecdotal, and depends on the priorities of the individual. There are plenty of people who would never date or marry someone outside of their own religion or race, and there are plenty of people who don't like to "shit where they eat" (mix their dating scene with their established work environment). You can't make sweeping generalizations like "What the girl said to you is bullshit because no one would ever choose their work over dating". You may disagree with the girl's list of priorities, but that doesn't mean she's a liar about her preferences. Imagine you were Brad Pitt in his thirties. What do you think she would do? Believe it or not, it's not the case that 100% of all women would throw away their careers and other plans to date Brad Pitt. Heck, just look at Shania Twain... She literally wrote a song about how simply being Brad Pitt don't impress (her) much. People, and specially woman, say one thing and do another frequently, and also change their minds a lot. Men charm to woman is more about personality and how you carry yourself than your actual appearance (that helps obviously). I was just trying to make a point obviously.
Yeah, but I think Lemon is just being too dismissive about everyone's principles and being overly simplistic.
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On January 11 2016 01:14 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On January 11 2016 01:13 GoTuNk! wrote:On January 10 2016 14:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 10 2016 09:41 GoTuNk! wrote:On January 10 2016 02:35 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 10 2016 02:02 LemOn wrote:
love conquers all. And work is nothing close to stuff like religion etc. While "love conquers all" is obviously overly idealistic (and so not really worth addressing directly), work can be just as important (or moreso) to some people than religion, especially if the person isn't particularly religious. All of this is anecdotal, and depends on the priorities of the individual. There are plenty of people who would never date or marry someone outside of their own religion or race, and there are plenty of people who don't like to "shit where they eat" (mix their dating scene with their established work environment). You can't make sweeping generalizations like "What the girl said to you is bullshit because no one would ever choose their work over dating". You may disagree with the girl's list of priorities, but that doesn't mean she's a liar about her preferences. Imagine you were Brad Pitt in his thirties. What do you think she would do? Believe it or not, it's not the case that 100% of all women would throw away their careers and other plans to date Brad Pitt. Heck, just look at Shania Twain... She literally wrote a song about how simply being Brad Pitt don't impress (her) much. People, and specially woman, say one thing and do another frequently, and also change their minds a lot. Men charm to woman is more about personality and how you carry yourself than your actual appearance (that helps obviously). I was just trying to make a point obviously. Yeah, but I think Lemon is just being too dismissive about everyone's principles and being overly simplistic.
Yeah but I think "not dating people from work" is hardly a principle :p
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On January 11 2016 02:55 GoTuNk! wrote:Show nested quote +On January 11 2016 01:14 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 11 2016 01:13 GoTuNk! wrote:On January 10 2016 14:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 10 2016 09:41 GoTuNk! wrote:On January 10 2016 02:35 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 10 2016 02:02 LemOn wrote:
love conquers all. And work is nothing close to stuff like religion etc. While "love conquers all" is obviously overly idealistic (and so not really worth addressing directly), work can be just as important (or moreso) to some people than religion, especially if the person isn't particularly religious. All of this is anecdotal, and depends on the priorities of the individual. There are plenty of people who would never date or marry someone outside of their own religion or race, and there are plenty of people who don't like to "shit where they eat" (mix their dating scene with their established work environment). You can't make sweeping generalizations like "What the girl said to you is bullshit because no one would ever choose their work over dating". You may disagree with the girl's list of priorities, but that doesn't mean she's a liar about her preferences. Imagine you were Brad Pitt in his thirties. What do you think she would do? Believe it or not, it's not the case that 100% of all women would throw away their careers and other plans to date Brad Pitt. Heck, just look at Shania Twain... She literally wrote a song about how simply being Brad Pitt don't impress (her) much. People, and specially woman, say one thing and do another frequently, and also change their minds a lot. Men charm to woman is more about personality and how you carry yourself than your actual appearance (that helps obviously). I was just trying to make a point obviously. Yeah, but I think Lemon is just being too dismissive about everyone's principles and being overly simplistic. Yeah but I think "not dating people from work" is hardly a principle :p
It's definitely a principle or rule for many people, just like "not dating people from a different religion/ race". I feel like this conversation has gone in a circle lol. Some people have the rule, others don't. Simple as that. And as such, it's inappropriate to project one person's personal rules onto everyone else and expect everyone to view relationship do's and don't's the same way. ::shrugs::
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On January 10 2016 04:09 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Sounds like the pastor was actually Donald Trump.
It all makes sense now.
On January 10 2016 04:47 IgnE wrote:
You probably don't want to date a southern baptist anyway though.
Nah, she was a really sweet girl. Also she's really, really hot now. A couple years ago she almost transferred to my uni which would have been... interesting. We're cool though.
On January 11 2016 03:10 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On January 11 2016 02:55 GoTuNk! wrote:On January 11 2016 01:14 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 11 2016 01:13 GoTuNk! wrote:On January 10 2016 14:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 10 2016 09:41 GoTuNk! wrote:On January 10 2016 02:35 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 10 2016 02:02 LemOn wrote:
love conquers all. And work is nothing close to stuff like religion etc. While "love conquers all" is obviously overly idealistic (and so not really worth addressing directly), work can be just as important (or moreso) to some people than religion, especially if the person isn't particularly religious. All of this is anecdotal, and depends on the priorities of the individual. There are plenty of people who would never date or marry someone outside of their own religion or race, and there are plenty of people who don't like to "shit where they eat" (mix their dating scene with their established work environment). You can't make sweeping generalizations like "What the girl said to you is bullshit because no one would ever choose their work over dating". You may disagree with the girl's list of priorities, but that doesn't mean she's a liar about her preferences. Imagine you were Brad Pitt in his thirties. What do you think she would do? Believe it or not, it's not the case that 100% of all women would throw away their careers and other plans to date Brad Pitt. Heck, just look at Shania Twain... She literally wrote a song about how simply being Brad Pitt don't impress (her) much. People, and specially woman, say one thing and do another frequently, and also change their minds a lot. Men charm to woman is more about personality and how you carry yourself than your actual appearance (that helps obviously). I was just trying to make a point obviously. Yeah, but I think Lemon is just being too dismissive about everyone's principles and being overly simplistic. Yeah but I think "not dating people from work" is hardly a principle :p It's definitely a principle or rule for many people, just like "not dating people from a different religion/ race". I feel like this conversation has gone in a circle lol. Some people have the rule, others don't. Simple as that. And as such, it's inappropriate to project one person's personal rules onto everyone else and expect everyone to view relationship do's and don't's the same way. ::shrugs::
I agree. Call it a principle, rule, commandment, whatever, people set limits on who they're willing to date as with anything else. You don't really know what goes on in other people's heads. Everyone does some sort of cost benefit analysis (they might not be playing with the right facts) but they do do it..
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I dunno I would say that people who deny the attraction in a work place are sensible or careless. But it's not really black or white all of the time. There are different types of attraction and stuff and just finding someone sexually attractive and then opening yourself up to them romantically might not be the best idea if you have a sweet job. But you can always make the relationship clear & blatant (i.e. like about sex) & hope they aren't a bitter douche when things end. Then again, if your best friend is a co-worker and you aren't banging then maybe you're not being true to yourself
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On January 11 2016 03:34 ragnasaur wrote:
I dunno I would say that people who deny the attraction in a work place are sensible or careless. But it's not really black or white all of the time. There are different types of attraction and stuff and just finding someone sexually attractive and then opening yourself up to them romantically might not be the best idea if you have a sweet job. But you can always make the relationship clear & blatant (i.e. like about sex) & hope they aren't a bitter douche when things end. Then again, if your best friend is a co-worker and you aren't banging then maybe you're not being true to yourself
Can you please fix? You mean wouldn't? Senseless? Careful?
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On January 11 2016 01:06 B.I.G. wrote:
Love can indeed conquer all but getting a boner from that one girl at work is not love.
Wait you mean my penis isn't a love detector stick? *mind blown*
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On January 11 2016 03:41 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On January 11 2016 03:34 ragnasaur wrote:
I dunno I would say that people who deny the attraction in a work place are sensible or careless. But it's not really black or white all of the time. There are different types of attraction and stuff and just finding someone sexually attractive and then opening yourself up to them romantically might not be the best idea if you have a sweet job. But you can always make the relationship clear & blatant (i.e. like about sex) & hope they aren't a bitter douche when things end. Then again, if your best friend is a co-worker and you aren't banging then maybe you're not being true to yourself Can you please fix? You mean wouldn't? Senseless? Careful?
i just meant they are usually thinking sensibly or carelessly by acknowledging or denying the relationship
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Had an incredible first date with a woman last night and just booked date #2 ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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On January 11 2016 06:11 Bigtony wrote:
Had an incredible first date with a woman last night and just booked date #2 ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
More details perhaps?
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Yeah I dunno, if you think you've met someone who you think might be potentially the love of your life (and workplace romances have the highest % of ending up in marriages), you're both single and available you wouldn't even go on one date and give it a shot when the other person asks for it?.
Like the guys that have long term partners currently (with or without 2-5 hour sex sessions  ) if fayth would have it and you'd meet them at work, both of you single and they'd ask you out can you imagine a workplace situation scenario where you'd say no? Like besides immoral and straight up illegal stuff like me being her teacher at high school I really can't
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On January 10 2016 02:02 LemOn wrote:
love conquers all. And work is nothing close to stuff like religion etc.
spoken like someone who has never worked with family and/or never had a work relationship end awkwardly. there absolutely people might want to jump your bones but won't because you work together, and that can have real lasting effects. working or owning a business together can end horribly. someone saying that they won't consider you because of that isn't necessarily lying and it is silly to assume so
actually everything about this is nonsense - love conquers all is some fairy tale bullshit that should be read as a large red flag if anyone says that to you
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Yeah I'm siding with Lem0n. To me it should be in the same category as falling in love with your best friend. There is a huge difference between "she's kinda hot but I won't risk my job for her" and "holy fuck I want to spend the rest of my life with her".
Unless you're in a really small department I don't see why you wouldn't go on a date, in a big company asking your boss to switch department shouldn't be out of the question if you think it would hinder your ability to do your job. Might be harder if you work at a small company or under other specific circumstances but otherwise I think you're a bit of a coward not to go for it if you're truly in love.
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check back with us in 10 years when you get a little life experience before calling people cowards for not wanting to risk their job over the office hot girl, and when your idea of love isn't tied so closely to one's physical attractiveness. you can lose your best friend and still pay the bills. you can lose your job for fucking at the work place, get no unemployment, and get fucked in a way you don't want to be fucked.
even if your workplace has zero rules about workplace boinking, going to your boss and saying 'i want a transfer so I can fuck your employees free of consequence' is not going to be received warmly, to say the least.
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hey I remember there was a really funny guide to dating made by someone on TL, does anyone have a link ? :D
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On January 12 2016 03:31 QuanticHawk wrote:
check back with us in 10 years when you get a little life experience before calling people cowards for not wanting to risk their job over the office hot girl, and when your idea of love isn't tied so closely to one's physical attractiveness. you can lose your best friend and still pay the bills. you can lose your job for fucking at the work place, get no unemployment, and get fucked in a way you don't want to be fucked.
even if your workplace has zero rules about workplace boinking, going to your boss and saying 'i want a transfer so I can fuck your employees free of consequence' is not going to be received warmly, to say the least.
Why would you fuck at the workplace? And what falling for someone has to do with office hot girl? You usually get to see a person a lot at work to know it's more than physical, that's why meeting someone at work leads to highest % of marriages apparently out of all ways of meeting. I'm talking sensible adults who date outside of office hours - there's been people who were living together at the office and I had no clue until her surname changed :D
And yeah I've worked for the largest UK bank and people rotating department every 1-2 years is super common practice. You can be honest about it or just say you want a new challenge? But if you're smart about going out why would you - it's not rocket science you keep PDA for outside of the office.
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EPT
