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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46629 Posts
January 06 2016 04:21 GMT
#15561
On January 05 2016 00:23 levelping wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 04 2016 17:57 LemOn wrote:
On January 04 2016 11:38 waffelz wrote:
On January 04 2016 10:47 IgnE wrote:
Normal sex session lasts 5 hours. Yeah ok.


I guess he is talking about the whole show including cuddling before/after/during, foreplay etc.

Yeah from the taking clothes off to putting them on it includes resting, talking between orgasms, pauses for switching positions, drinks, oral sex, various forms of masturbation etc usually takes 2-5 hours and seems pretty standard for "normal sex". Much less than that is pretty much a quickie in my book that feels "incomplete". Of course there's time constraints but in a relationship I think it's important to find the time for a long multi orgasmic session few times per month. And when you first start dating it should be a given.


So uh, do you and your partner have full time jobs and have other commitments outside work? Because while I like my sex unhurried, 2-5 hours just sounds kinda boring. Not to mention an less than ideal way to spend time together, when there are limited chances to see each other. Like honesty what does the 3rd hour of sex add which the second hour already does not?


Well it also includes taking a trip to the local grocery store and watching the entire original Star Wars trilogy

In all seriousness though, I've learned that my fiancee and I prefer a typical sex session (from foreplay to putting clothes back on, if we're not cuddling/ spooning/ going to sleep right afterwards) to be around 30-60 minutes long. Personal preferences.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46629 Posts
January 06 2016 04:22 GMT
#15562
On January 06 2016 12:30 ticklishmusic wrote:
i have a date tomorrow woo


Yay! What are you doing/ where are you going?
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
ticklishmusic
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States15977 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-01-06 04:28:52
January 06 2016 04:27 GMT
#15563
On January 06 2016 13:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 06 2016 12:30 ticklishmusic wrote:
i have a date tomorrow woo


Yay! What are you doing/ where are you going?


tacos. we both work in the same part of town so we just picked a random restaurant. cheap, seems like a cute place to hang out. very likely just grabbing dinner, i'm on the opposite end of the spectrum from a lot of the regulars in this thread when it comes to hooking up/sex, etc.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46629 Posts
January 06 2016 04:33 GMT
#15564
On January 06 2016 13:27 ticklishmusic wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 06 2016 13:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On January 06 2016 12:30 ticklishmusic wrote:
i have a date tomorrow woo


Yay! What are you doing/ where are you going?


tacos. we both work in the same part of town so we just picked a random restaurant. cheap, seems like a cute place to hang out. very likely just grabbing dinner, i'm on the opposite end of the spectrum from a lot of the regulars in this thread when it comes to hooking up/sex, etc.


That's awesome Yeah, it makes all the sense in the world to do/ eat whatever you both feel comfortable with. You don't need to be a sex guru to have a promising start to a relationship
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
levelping
Profile Joined May 2010
Singapore759 Posts
January 06 2016 12:43 GMT
#15565
On January 06 2016 13:21 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 05 2016 00:23 levelping wrote:
On January 04 2016 17:57 LemOn wrote:
On January 04 2016 11:38 waffelz wrote:
On January 04 2016 10:47 IgnE wrote:
Normal sex session lasts 5 hours. Yeah ok.


I guess he is talking about the whole show including cuddling before/after/during, foreplay etc.

Yeah from the taking clothes off to putting them on it includes resting, talking between orgasms, pauses for switching positions, drinks, oral sex, various forms of masturbation etc usually takes 2-5 hours and seems pretty standard for "normal sex". Much less than that is pretty much a quickie in my book that feels "incomplete". Of course there's time constraints but in a relationship I think it's important to find the time for a long multi orgasmic session few times per month. And when you first start dating it should be a given.


So uh, do you and your partner have full time jobs and have other commitments outside work? Because while I like my sex unhurried, 2-5 hours just sounds kinda boring. Not to mention an less than ideal way to spend time together, when there are limited chances to see each other. Like honesty what does the 3rd hour of sex add which the second hour already does not?


Well it also includes taking a trip to the local grocery store and watching the entire original Star Wars trilogy

In all seriousness though, I've learned that my fiancee and I prefer a typical sex session (from foreplay to putting clothes back on, if we're not cuddling/ spooning/ going to sleep right afterwards) to be around 30-60 minutes long. Personal preferences.


Yeah. I mean it's great for lemon he can find all this time, but for me I (and her) work full time. I love sex, I've got like rope and other kinky accessories in the drawer, but sorry there's no way in hell anyone is going to get five hours sex sessions on weekday nights. That leaves the weekends and we each have our families to spend time with, and things like yoga or Japanese class.

With the left over time I actually prefer to do other stuff like a nice meal or going out to do something fun, rather than plonking down five whole hours on sex.

And yeah... Lemon you need to speak to people who have had kids. You're in for a really rude shock if you think you can have the energy and time for five hour sex with a young kid running around.
Laurens
Profile Joined September 2010
Belgium4558 Posts
January 06 2016 12:52 GMT
#15566
5 years from now in this thread: Lemon: Guys this is terrible, I have kids and I can't have my 5 hour sex sessions anymore.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-01-06 17:00:12
January 06 2016 16:53 GMT
#15567
I guess it depends on what job she'll have? If it's something like mine I don't see any issues with having say a day per month just for us even with kids after the first year or two.

This book gave me hope :D
http://www.amazon.com/Just-Do-It-Couple-Excuses/dp/0307407179/ref=pd_sim_14_1?ie=UTF8&dpID=51pn0FPlsXL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR103,160_&refRID=1E0NHSVBSCZCWD9PW937
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-01-06 20:26:23
January 06 2016 20:24 GMT
#15568
I find it hard to relate to what you say Lem0n. 5 hour fucking sessions and the brutal honesty thing kind of sound like a much more "spiritual" way of living that does not really match mine.

Good for you though.
ticklishmusic
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States15977 Posts
January 06 2016 20:34 GMT
#15569
tbh i haven't had 5 hours of sex in the last 5 years total lol and i'm pretty ok with it. it'd be different if i had been in a commited relationship, but still i don't think i've done a solid 5 hours anything, except maybe sleep and read. and sometimes i have to pee.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
Jan1997
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
Norway671 Posts
January 06 2016 21:38 GMT
#15570
How do you even get to know girls lol? I can't find anybody as interesting as myself. Atleast that's the illusion I seem to be living.
Do something today that your future self will be thankful for.
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
January 06 2016 22:04 GMT
#15571
On January 07 2016 06:38 Jan1997 wrote:
How do you even get to know girls lol? I can't find anybody as interesting as myself. Atleast that's the illusion I seem to be living.

That's a question best answered by someone who knows the area where you live.
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
January 06 2016 22:07 GMT
#15572
On January 07 2016 06:38 Jan1997 wrote:
How do you even get to know girls lol? I can't find anybody as interesting as myself. Atleast that's the illusion I seem to be living.

Ask out girls. There are definitely a lot of girls who are really interesting, it's a somewhat narcisstic way of thinking in my opinion. A more valid statement would be "I can't find any girls who likes the things I find interesting." which is probably what you really mean.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
Jan1997
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
Norway671 Posts
January 06 2016 22:13 GMT
#15573
On January 07 2016 07:07 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 07 2016 06:38 Jan1997 wrote:
How do you even get to know girls lol? I can't find anybody as interesting as myself. Atleast that's the illusion I seem to be living.

Ask out girls. There are definitely a lot of girls who are really interesting, it's a somewhat narcisstic way of thinking in my opinion. A more valid statement would be "I can't find any girls who likes the things I find interesting." which is probably what you really mean.



At it's absolute core it really isn't. I'm prone to being selfish about myself. I find myself interesting, much more interesting than any other human. It's not my fault. Once again. Could be my illusion, but it's my way of consuming this world.
Do something today that your future self will be thankful for.
Zambrah
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States7393 Posts
January 06 2016 22:32 GMT
#15574
You think you're the most interesting human in the world? I admit I don't think that I've ever heard someone say that before.

You might want to wait 'til we perfect cloning/genetic manipulation and get yourself a female you. ;D
Incremental change is the Democrat version of Trickle Down economics.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46629 Posts
January 07 2016 01:03 GMT
#15575
On January 07 2016 07:13 Jan1997 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 07 2016 07:07 bloodwhore~ wrote:
On January 07 2016 06:38 Jan1997 wrote:
How do you even get to know girls lol? I can't find anybody as interesting as myself. Atleast that's the illusion I seem to be living.

Ask out girls. There are definitely a lot of girls who are really interesting, it's a somewhat narcisstic way of thinking in my opinion. A more valid statement would be "I can't find any girls who likes the things I find interesting." which is probably what you really mean.



At it's absolute core it really isn't. I'm prone to being selfish about myself. I find myself interesting, much more interesting than any other human. It's not my fault. Once again. Could be my illusion, but it's my way of consuming this world.


When you drink beer, do you prefer Dos Equis?

Stay single, my friend.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
ticklishmusic
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States15977 Posts
January 07 2016 02:30 GMT
#15576
You can't go out with the attitude that girls are gonna be inferior to you for whatever reason. I graduated from a good school cum laude, have a 10 inch cock (not true) and read a ton, etc. but i can't be like "I need to find a supermodel who went to Harvard and is curing cancer but also skydives and does MMA in her spare time everyone else sucks or isn't worth it". You have to look at people and try and find enough to like.

Anyways my date went well, chatted about 3 hours. Tacos weren't very good, and the server was a bit annoying-- kept coming back like every 10 minutes to ask if we needed something so he kept interrupting the conversation. Ended up moving to a froyo place where it was a bit quieter (it was kind of her suggestion, so I take that as a good sign, at least up to that point ). So yeah. I think the ending was slightly awkward and obv not a perfectly smooth span of chatting, but maybe a 7/10.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46629 Posts
January 07 2016 03:29 GMT
#15577
Cool Glad to hear it went well overall

Out of curiosity, how did the night end? Hug? Peck on the cheek? Kiss on the lips? A five-hour sex session?
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
ticklishmusic
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States15977 Posts
January 07 2016 03:40 GMT
#15578
Hug, haha.

I've got a little bit of a touching problem, if you want to call it that. Handshakes? Totally cool, I give a great fucking handshake for business-type things. Until recently, I felt hugging people I'm not already close with felt a little intimate-- I'm okay with it now. Might be a cultural/ old-fashioned thing. IDK. I'm not very forward physically. I've never kissed (or gone farther as that implies) with a girl I haven't been dating or had pretty legitimate feelings for (the two categories don't completely overlap).

Maybe it'll change though. I think getting a decent number of dates via all these apps has helped my confidence at least... I wouldn't admit to having one, but yaknow Apparently I'm pretty entertaining, a good listener and (from my success on online dating) presumably decent looking.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46629 Posts
January 07 2016 03:48 GMT
#15579
Cool As you continue to gain confidence, don't be afraid to let down the shields of your touching problem and take chances/ gain new experiences... when you're ready. Physical contact, even if it's just a natural touch on her arm or leg (as opposed to a formal kiss), is a great way to show interest in your date too
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
levelping
Profile Joined May 2010
Singapore759 Posts
January 07 2016 03:59 GMT
#15580
On January 07 2016 07:13 Jan1997 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 07 2016 07:07 bloodwhore~ wrote:
On January 07 2016 06:38 Jan1997 wrote:
How do you even get to know girls lol? I can't find anybody as interesting as myself. Atleast that's the illusion I seem to be living.

Ask out girls. There are definitely a lot of girls who are really interesting, it's a somewhat narcisstic way of thinking in my opinion. A more valid statement would be "I can't find any girls who likes the things I find interesting." which is probably what you really mean.



At it's absolute core it really isn't. I'm prone to being selfish about myself. I find myself interesting, much more interesting than any other human. It's not my fault. Once again. Could be my illusion, but it's my way of consuming this world.


It's an illusion.

But you know, more importantly it's an illusion that's going to make you sad and feel lonely for the rest of your life.

So is feeling interesting that important that you'll feel so lonely all the time?

People are just different and everyone can be interesting in different ways. In fact, people who seem less interesting are actually sometimes v cool, because you get to introduce all kinds of interesting things to them and see how they react.

I just watched star wars with someone that didn't even know who darth Vader is. And the person loved the movie. It was great seeing someone experience star wars foe the first time
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