EPTNothing physical happened, but we def got closer and closer each episode. Towards the end, I knew she was thinking about kissing and I could have gone for it If I wanted to, but decided to save it till next time.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 768
| Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
|
MysteryMeat1
United States3292 Posts
Nothing physical happened, but we def got closer and closer each episode. Towards the end, I knew she was thinking about kissing and I could have gone for it If I wanted to, but decided to save it till next time. | ||
|
B.I.G.
3251 Posts
| ||
|
DarkPlasmaBall
United States46620 Posts
| ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On December 17 2015 18:19 puppykiller wrote: Well duh it makes more sense than doing nothing unless you consider time and mental energy as a factor. Cold is fine when you get to chat for a bit so that you will know if you want to eventually spend more time with them but if you go into it with the goal (or logistical barriers/blind adherence to PUA rhetoric that leads you try) to get someones number within a few short minutes, then it's kind of a waste of time. Not to mention all the texting/planning, and the fact that just so few girls are open to meeting a guy off of a short (and usually waaaaay too direct) convo in public. Eh, what texting? 1 phone call, one text only if she doesn't pick up. Why would you text a girl you exchanged numbers with, that phone call serves as a pre-date confirmation, makes it easier for her and it's way easier to schedule the first cofee/whatever else you closed on getting the number. I mean imagine you're a girl. A guy by chance stops you on the street because he's noticed something unique about you or you got to a fun spontaneous scenario (that's what happens when you drop canned approaches) . You had a short but unique conversation for 3-5 minutes where you clicked but he had to run so you gave him your number. A couple days later he calls you, you click again on the phone similarly as in person and he tells you to meet him 5pm in daylight at a very public meeting point. That's how it usually goes, I would love to meet girls this way if they initiated it but society tells them they can't so you have to look for signals and opportunities and do it yourself. Also I do get the time invested argument, but considering you spend literally tens of thousands of hours with your life partner limiting yourself to choosing those in your social circles is completely irrational from an utilitarian standpoint. | ||
|
coloursheep
China497 Posts
On December 17 2015 19:17 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Just went on a date today. We were supposed to go to cap hill for some swing dancing, at like 10pm. However there was a dance on campus at 6pm, so we met at 4:30 played some pool and went social dancing. She asked if I still wanted to go social dancing, and I was like yeah or we could marathon some buffy the vampire slayer at your place. So we got some thai food and watched like 4 episodes. Nothing physical happened, but we def got closer and closer each episode. Towards the end, I knew she was thinking about kissing and I could have gone for it If I wanted to, but decided to save it till next time. Forget about going in for a kiss you should have just proposed as soon as she said yes to that. In all seriousness there is no perfect time and no point waiting, it just sends mixed signals. If you feel like a girl is thinking about kissing you and you want to kiss her then kiss her. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
| ||
|
coloursheep
China497 Posts
On December 17 2015 22:00 LemOn wrote: Hahaha A+ to marriage. Kinda agree with coloursheep. You can be a tease and make her wet just by postponing contact but that's very fine art and often tough to not come across as not interested in her/frienvibe I feel like that kind of teasing is best saved for later when you are a couple. The first time I went out with my now wife she was showing me around Shanghai, not officially a date, but it was clear early on that she was interested in me and this was more than a favour/thank you for me helping her, so near then end of the night when we were in Madam Tussauds I just went for it. We quickly found a quiet place and made out for a looong time. That was 2008 and the rest is history. | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Nice story btw  | ||
|
coloursheep
China497 Posts
On December 17 2015 22:18 LemOn wrote: Yeah I guess I'm kinda biased by recent memory (teasing's just such a huge important part of a longer term relationship) - I doubt there's any downsides for going for it when she clearly gives you the signals early on - you don't have much to gain but a lot to lose. Nice story btw Thanks, that's the greatly abridged version. Long story short we met in the most popular place in Shanghai (think time square) when she was looking for someone to judge an English competition I was the only one who said yes out of the more than 20 that she asked, that lead into 3 years of long distance while I finished studying before finally moving to China 4 years ago. Most people think we are embellishing the details when they hear the story but it was truly just that lucky. | ||
|
Ramiel
United States1220 Posts
On December 17 2015 16:02 puppykiller wrote: How old are you ram? 27 | ||
|
Ramiel
United States1220 Posts
A girl that is interested in that charming stranger is so much easier to date and have a relationship with. However it sometimes can take a bit more time finding them It will be easy getting a hold of them, they will want to go on your date ideas- and during the date they will be putty in your hands. If you don't have a girl like that, I take it as a huge sign of low interest, and consider it a good thing that I didin't waste any more time and effort other than a 5 min conversation at the begging, or 1 txt. | ||
|
B.I.G.
3251 Posts
we met in the most popular place in Shanghai Like the wedding market at people's park or something? ;p | ||
|
MysteryMeat1
United States3292 Posts
| ||
|
ragnasaur
United States804 Posts
| ||
|
puppykiller
United States3137 Posts
| ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On December 18 2015 05:24 puppykiller wrote: I did this for a while but honestly I would never go back. Theoretically it sounds nice but in reality it tends to be clunky and awkward more often than not. you mean YOU were clunky and awkward more often than not  | ||
|
Titusmaster6
United States5937 Posts
On December 18 2015 04:34 ragnasaur wrote: Im interested in a girl who sells me coffee every morning. we flirt sometimes & other times she just makes my coffee and we exchange pleasantries. i know it's her job to bring customers back anyways & she gets hit on over 9000 times a day. Plus if i fuck it up then i wont want to get coffee there anymore. Do i say anything? give her a silly chrstmas gift? just keep flirting with her until she hints at me? invite her to a social dance? do nothing and enjoy the sexual tension? im leaning towards doing nothing... Ahh to me that's one of the toughest scenarios, almost as bad as being attracted to a coworker. Idk what to say man, gl w/e you decide. | ||
|
Impervious
Canada4222 Posts
Damn, I actually thought you were a few years older than that. No offense, but you seem to have your shit together a lot better than most people I know that are of that age (and I'd know cause I'm also 27). | ||
|
GreenHorizons
United States24448 Posts
On December 18 2015 04:34 ragnasaur wrote: Im interested in a girl who sells me coffee every morning. we flirt sometimes & other times she just makes my coffee and we exchange pleasantries. i know it's her job to bring customers back anyways & she gets hit on over 9000 times a day. Plus if i fuck it up then i wont want to get coffee there anymore. Do i say anything? give her a silly chrstmas gift? just keep flirting with her until she hints at me? invite her to a social dance? do nothing and enjoy the sexual tension? im leaning towards doing nothing... Almost all the baristas in my town are in bikini's/pasties and thongs so my advice would be to find someone who isn't going to get hit on 1000's of times a week because even if you did spark something you'd know she would have to go back to flirting with men daily while you weren't together. I guess if you all still have the ones where they are clothed it could work (they tend to be less flirtatious) but I give you 1 99% chance of failure. if that 1% chance is worth finding a new coffee place I say go for it, otherwise just enjoy the tension until she demands you come back for a quickie on her break. | ||
|
saddaromma
1129 Posts
On December 18 2015 04:34 ragnasaur wrote: Im interested in a girl who sells me coffee every morning. we flirt sometimes & other times she just makes my coffee and we exchange pleasantries. i know it's her job to bring customers back anyways & she gets hit on over 9000 times a day. Plus if i fuck it up then i wont want to get coffee there anymore. Do i say anything? give her a silly chrstmas gift? just keep flirting with her until she hints at me? invite her to a social dance? do nothing and enjoy the sexual tension? im leaning towards doing nothing... Pretty sure girls can distinguish if someone is just hitting or wants a serious relationship. I say you go for it. Its not like that coffee is so crucial for your life. Maybe that girl can become second (best) half of you for the rest of your life. I'm 31 and I regret so many opportunities that I missed for silly reasons. Just make sure you don't fall blindly for it. beware of golddiggers. | ||
| ||
