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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
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3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
Mexico2170 Posts
My friends, here I am to share some advice and life lessons.
You remember that girl that had a boyfriend I was torn what to do with, and my friend and his girlfriend that made a stupid plan that I mentioned a couple of pages ago?
Well.. Today we were all supposed to meet. The girl A (the one I kinda liked that had a boyfriend that most people here told me to stay away from) was supposed to come, but she didn't end up coming, making girl B (girlfriend of my friend) really mad saying that she will never talk to her again and shit. It got worse, at one point I lent my friend my phone to take some pics, and he ended up sending girl A some stupid message on Facebook, and she blocked me LOL (or her boyfriend did I guess since we talked before just fine, whatever).
Furthermore, my friend and his girlfriend's (girl B) Bullshit exceeded my expectations of how stupid they were and they ended up making this stupid drama over nothing that turned out very badly with my friend just saying bullshit to everyone and with her turning her cigarrette off in my friends neck and other stupid bullshit. And now I'm here just taking care of all of them.
So boys and girls, learn from me:
Stay away from girls with boyfriends.
And stay away from stupid people, even if they are your friends.
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"turning her cigarette off in my friend's neck" yo thats real fucked upppppp
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On December 06 2015 14:50 [Phantom] wrote:
My friends, here I am to share some advice and life lessons.
You remember that girl that had a boyfriend I was torn what to do with, and my friend and his girlfriend that made a stupid plan that I mentioned a couple of pages ago?
Well.. Today we were all supposed to meet. The girl A (the one I kinda liked that had a boyfriend that most people here told me to stay away from) was supposed to come, but she didn't end up coming, making girl B (girlfriend of my friend) really mad saying that she will never talk to her again and shit. It got worse, at one point I lent my friend my phone to take some pics, and he ended up sending girl A some stupid message on Facebook, and she blocked me LOL (or her boyfriend did I guess since we talked before just fine, whatever).
Furthermore, my friend and his girlfriend's (girl B) Bullshit exceeded my expectations of how stupid they were and they ended up making this stupid drama over nothing that turned out very badly with my friend just saying bullshit to everyone and with her turning her cigarrette off in my friends neck and other stupid bullshit. And now I'm here just taking care of all of them.
So boys and girls, learn from me:
Stay away from girls with boyfriends.
And stay away from stupid people, even if they are your friends.
this is especially important.
ive honestly deliberately cut ties off with friends before because i realised that they are actually retards and i dont need them in my life.
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Yeah. Girl B and your friend doesn't really seem people you need in your life. All this unnecessary drama.
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On December 06 2015 07:47 BurningSera wrote:
Tinder was amazing in 2013/2014 but nowadays it is a complete different app for me, it is good for 2 things (and keep in mind that it only works in big cities):
1) unplanned/last minute booty call (which sucks due to luck based)
2) temporary stay/travel to a new city (thats the main function for me now, mainly for meeting new friends/pipelining)
Long story short, the app goes from 'oh it is new, lets try it out' ie the kind of 'trendy' people who actually keen on using it to meet up (thats why they got the app in first place), to 'oh everyone is using it so i will use it too but i have no intention to actually meet up' ie it becomes some app for the girls to collect matches of (hot) guys. Back then you will almost always get reply in 1 day or otherwise you/she will unmatch each other if it was a no go, time saved, tonnes of fun made.
And just for the record, it doesnt matter what opener line you used, witty/trollish/normal line wont make a difference, if she likes she likes you, all you need to do is make the first move (but don't ask for number/meet up straight away obviously). So ya, the heaven of tinder is long gone.
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Online dating in general is really funny in nature because it only works in big cities (due to various reasons/factors), but then when you are in a big city then why would you use online dating? Hence i see online dating as a product which fits into some niche demographics, for example some people with unusual work schedule which cant go out in normal hours, some 'smart' people who don't enjoy the usual nightout with loud music they are hoping to find more like-minded people to hang out with etc.
Long story short, you can invest time on it (make a nice profile and be honest on what are you looking for) but don't have big hope on it, it is worse compare to real life socializing because girls get bombarded with 1000 messages daily so good luck getting her attention (even if she is actually nice and would be perfect fit for you). And online dating is an alternative platform for girls to be self-absorbed/attention seeking ie tonnes of time wasters on it.
If you live in western world you must stay in big cities to have a chance to not have shitty online/real life dating.
Yea, I really don't have much hope for it. I'm still managing to have far better luck the offline way.....
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Phantom, I'm just glad that you didn't waste too much time on that girl  And yeah, even friends with good intentions can be stupid or do things that aren't in your best interest. It's good that you're trying to stay as objective as possible!
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How do you greet a girl you recently started dating when you see her on your dates?
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On December 07 2015 14:48 obesechicken13 wrote:
How do you greet a girl you recently started dating when you see her on your dates?
"sup bby gurl" and then you furiously make out.
+ Show Spoiler +I usually just say "Hi" and give her a hug.
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On December 07 2015 14:48 obesechicken13 wrote:
How do you greet a girl you recently started dating when you see her on your dates?
oo oo oo,
"Whats cookin', good lookin'?"
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Stare at her like a deer caught in headlights and let the awkwardness flow freely.
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On December 07 2015 14:48 obesechicken13 wrote:
How do you greet a girl you recently started dating when you see her on your dates?
The above posts are legit answers haha while my approach would be:
It depends on how did your previous date/s go, always walk up close and give her a hug of course; and then I assume here that you haven't kissed her (on lips) previously (if you did, just make out a little, case closed), so when you hug her you should have looked into her eyes (judging by her reaction, you should be able to tell if it ok to kiss her or not), if she backed off/showed signs of resistance, gently kiss on her cheek instead and give her a big smile, hey hey how are you etc.
The fact that you asked a question like that shows that you are such a nice gentleman, best of luck there!
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On December 07 2015 18:55 BurningSera wrote:
The fact that you asked a question like that shows that you are such a nice gentleman, best of luck there!
Yeah I gotta say that has nothing to do with him being a gentlemen, it has more to do with that he is inexperienced.
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Usually If there's strong chemistry and last date ended on physical note I'd say nothing, give her eye contact, wide smile, nod in the direction I'm taking her and start slowly walking.
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On December 07 2015 14:48 obesechicken13 wrote:
How do you greet a girl you recently started dating when you see her on your dates?
Pretty much anything normal. As in, don't call her an obese chicken, and don't make any immediate references to your obese chicken.
+ Show Spoiler +
Eye contact, smile, "hi/ hey [first name], how's it going!", and start off with a hug or a peck on the cheek (the latter if you've already kissed her before). Natural, easygoing, and physical contact
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On December 07 2015 19:25 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On December 07 2015 18:55 BurningSera wrote:
The fact that you asked a question like that shows that you are such a nice gentleman, best of luck there! Yeah I gotta say that has nothing to do with him being a gentlemen, it has more to do with that he is inexperienced.
Just being nice there lol, at least he thinks about how to handle it rather than the ones that make it complete awkward haha
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On December 07 2015 20:09 BurningSera wrote:Just being nice there lol, at least he thinks about how to handle it rather than the ones that make it complete awkward haha
You're the true gentlemen here then  . However I think saying "hello" is pretty standard, and if he can't even think of that I'm afraid he doesn't stand much of a chance with the girl anyway  . I didn't get the impression that obesechicken was inexperienced from his other posts here so it kinda surprised me!
I don't really think Lem0n's way is bad either, I've done that as well.
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On December 07 2015 20:24 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On December 07 2015 20:09 BurningSera wrote:Just being nice there lol, at least he thinks about how to handle it rather than the ones that make it complete awkward haha You're the true gentlemen here then . However I think saying "hello" is pretty standard, and if he can't even think of that I'm afraid he doesn't stand much of a chance with the girl anyway . I didn't get the impression that obesechicken was inexperienced from his other posts here so it kinda surprised me! I don't really think Lem0n's way is bad either, I've done that as well.
I feel like if obesechicken is still at the stage where he wants to check in to make sure his greeting is appropriate, he probably doesn't yet have the kind of psychological/ physical chemistry with this girl to just nod and not say anything. That can also come off as an attempt to act too overly macho and cocky, which can either be a turn-off or just end up awkward.
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Yeah, I'd go for a quick hug and a cute greeting when my intentions are not clear and I want to set the tone straight (1st date off online dating. Ambiguity with e.g. a girl I've known non-romantically that I'm taking on a date. Last date was meh, often 1st one)
If things are going well, there's strong chemistry, last date was physical I'd be missing out if I'd go for anything more than a a tap on the shoulder. It's just so much better to have ambiguity, let the chemistry do the work and let passion grow/build up for both of you with time. Same with words, just being silent for a while, observe your own feelings, get used to her presence, notice her body language, how she moves today etc. I don't want to miss out on that!
It often takes a few hours before the first kiss on a date (with my girlfriend), but when it comes the passion from the built up energy (or sexual tension however you want to call it) just makes it so much better. If you want a passionate relationship with lots of PDA then total lack of initial PDA is paradoxically the way to go.
EDIT: This reminded me of this podcast
https://www.datingskillsreview.com/ep-62-neuroscience-of-sex-sexuality-andrea-kuszewski/
Definitely recommend to show you to see how routine is bad.
And with the no initial affection approach every single date will be different, and you'll get physical at different times when it feels right instead of falling into a routine.
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On December 07 2015 20:42 LemOn wrote:
And with the no initial affection approach every single date will be different, and you'll get physical at different times when it feels right instead of falling into a routine.
Yeah I can buy this.
Have you finished the book by the way?
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EPT
