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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Kiett
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States7639 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-03-09 08:55:09
March 09 2014 08:54 GMT
#8521
On March 09 2014 15:20 Riner1212 wrote:
single and luvin every minute of it haha. women are annoying as hell.

maybe you should try men then. i like men and my life is great. like seriously, women are so fucking annoying. they're always whining and complaining and crying and asking for money and wanting cats and jewelry and babies and stupid shit like that. i could never see myself dating a girl. females are just horrible creatures.
Writer:o
ZenithM
Profile Joined February 2011
France15952 Posts
March 09 2014 09:12 GMT
#8522
On March 09 2014 17:54 Kiett wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 09 2014 15:20 Riner1212 wrote:
single and luvin every minute of it haha. women are annoying as hell.

maybe you should try men then. i like men and my life is great. like seriously, women are so fucking annoying. they're always whining and complaining and crying and asking for money and wanting cats and jewelry and babies and stupid shit like that. i could never see myself dating a girl. females are just horrible creatures.

Damn straight!
amaDeus
Profile Joined September 2011
Germany205 Posts
March 09 2014 11:57 GMT
#8523
yo seeking some advice from ppl who have (maybe) been in the same spot.
i've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for ~3 1/2 years. its a long distance (~250km, so not too bad, we see each other every second weekend and when we both have vacation from university) relationship and its working out fine.
we never had any real trouble or big fights, as we are both too lazy or not willing to fight and rather just say "it's my own fault" and we try to solve the issue.
she's like the perfect fit for me. same humour, pretty, kinda thinks the same way, accepts my hobbies,...
i just got the problem that i cant say 100% to myself that i truly love her anymore. i don't know. i like to hang out with her, i'd be the last one to hurt her.
i don't know how to describe it. when we don't see each other for e.g. 2 weeks i dont have a big anticipation and i don't miss her as much as she misses me.
she's my first girlfriend (and vice versa), i'm 20.
i'm not sure about my feelings and i dont know if i want to spent the rest of my life with her.
any advice how i can sort out my feelings?
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1510 Posts
March 09 2014 11:59 GMT
#8524
On March 09 2014 20:57 amaDeus wrote:
yo seeking some advice from ppl who have (maybe) been in the same spot.
i've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for ~3 1/2 years. its a long distance (~250km, so not too bad, we see each other every second weekend and when we both have vacation from university) relationship and its working out fine.
we never had any real trouble or big fights, as we are both too lazy or not willing to fight and rather just say "it's my own fault" and we try to solve the issue.
she's like the perfect fit for me. same humour, pretty, kinda thinks the same way, accepts my hobbies,...
i just got the problem that i cant say 100% to myself that i truly love her anymore. i don't know. i like to hang out with her, i'd be the last one to hurt her.
i don't know how to describe it. when we don't see each other for e.g. 2 weeks i dont have a big anticipation and i don't miss her as much as she misses me.
she's my first girlfriend (and vice versa), i'm 20.
i'm not sure about my feelings and i dont know if i want to spent the rest of my life with her.
any advice how i can sort out my feelings?


Maybe you should pm docvoc, he might have some advice.
kollin
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United Kingdom8380 Posts
March 09 2014 16:23 GMT
#8525
On March 09 2014 17:54 Kiett wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 09 2014 15:20 Riner1212 wrote:
single and luvin every minute of it haha. women are annoying as hell.

maybe you should try men then. i like men and my life is great. like seriously, women are so fucking annoying. they're always whining and complaining and crying and asking for money and wanting cats and jewelry and babies and stupid shit like that. i could never see myself dating a girl. females are just horrible creatures.

You're gay?
Firebolt145
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Lalalaland34503 Posts
March 09 2014 16:27 GMT
#8526
On March 10 2014 01:23 kollin wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 09 2014 17:54 Kiett wrote:
On March 09 2014 15:20 Riner1212 wrote:
single and luvin every minute of it haha. women are annoying as hell.

maybe you should try men then. i like men and my life is great. like seriously, women are so fucking annoying. they're always whining and complaining and crying and asking for money and wanting cats and jewelry and babies and stupid shit like that. i could never see myself dating a girl. females are just horrible creatures.

You're gay?

I don't know whether you're joking or just kollining.
Moderator
xDaunt
Profile Joined March 2010
United States17988 Posts
March 09 2014 17:09 GMT
#8527
On March 09 2014 20:57 amaDeus wrote:
yo seeking some advice from ppl who have (maybe) been in the same spot.
i've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for ~3 1/2 years. its a long distance (~250km, so not too bad, we see each other every second weekend and when we both have vacation from university) relationship and its working out fine.
we never had any real trouble or big fights, as we are both too lazy or not willing to fight and rather just say "it's my own fault" and we try to solve the issue.
she's like the perfect fit for me. same humour, pretty, kinda thinks the same way, accepts my hobbies,...
i just got the problem that i cant say 100% to myself that i truly love her anymore. i don't know. i like to hang out with her, i'd be the last one to hurt her.
i don't know how to describe it. when we don't see each other for e.g. 2 weeks i dont have a big anticipation and i don't miss her as much as she misses me.
she's my first girlfriend (and vice versa), i'm 20.
i'm not sure about my feelings and i dont know if i want to spent the rest of my life with her.
any advice how i can sort out my feelings?

At your age, the safe (and usually better) move is just to move on. This is particularly the case if you have doubts about whether "she's the one." You'll know that you've found the one when deciding to marry her is the easiest decision in your life. But yeah, learning to break up with someone sucks.

Though I will say this. There's always an ebb and flow to long-term/permanent relationships. Sometimes it's really hot and sometimes it cools a bit. It can be hard to assess what actually is going on unless you've been in a few relationships and gotten a feel for what's really important.
kollin
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United Kingdom8380 Posts
March 09 2014 17:12 GMT
#8528
On March 10 2014 01:27 Firebolt145 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 10 2014 01:23 kollin wrote:
On March 09 2014 17:54 Kiett wrote:
On March 09 2014 15:20 Riner1212 wrote:
single and luvin every minute of it haha. women are annoying as hell.

maybe you should try men then. i like men and my life is great. like seriously, women are so fucking annoying. they're always whining and complaining and crying and asking for money and wanting cats and jewelry and babies and stupid shit like that. i could never see myself dating a girl. females are just horrible creatures.

You're gay?

I don't know whether you're joking or just kollining.

?
SKC
Profile Joined October 2010
Brazil18828 Posts
March 09 2014 17:28 GMT
#8529
On March 10 2014 02:12 kollin wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 10 2014 01:27 Firebolt145 wrote:
On March 10 2014 01:23 kollin wrote:
On March 09 2014 17:54 Kiett wrote:
On March 09 2014 15:20 Riner1212 wrote:
single and luvin every minute of it haha. women are annoying as hell.

maybe you should try men then. i like men and my life is great. like seriously, women are so fucking annoying. they're always whining and complaining and crying and asking for money and wanting cats and jewelry and babies and stupid shit like that. i could never see myself dating a girl. females are just horrible creatures.

You're gay?

I don't know whether you're joking or just kollining.

?

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/profile.php?user=Kiett
xDaunt
Profile Joined March 2010
United States17988 Posts
March 09 2014 17:29 GMT
#8530
On March 10 2014 02:28 SKC wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 10 2014 02:12 kollin wrote:
On March 10 2014 01:27 Firebolt145 wrote:
On March 10 2014 01:23 kollin wrote:
On March 09 2014 17:54 Kiett wrote:
On March 09 2014 15:20 Riner1212 wrote:
single and luvin every minute of it haha. women are annoying as hell.

maybe you should try men then. i like men and my life is great. like seriously, women are so fucking annoying. they're always whining and complaining and crying and asking for money and wanting cats and jewelry and babies and stupid shit like that. i could never see myself dating a girl. females are just horrible creatures.

You're gay?

I don't know whether you're joking or just kollining.

?

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/profile.php?user=Kiett

In his defense, I had the same reaction until I looked at her sig.
kollin
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United Kingdom8380 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-03-09 17:30:32
March 09 2014 17:30 GMT
#8531
On March 10 2014 02:28 SKC wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 10 2014 02:12 kollin wrote:
On March 10 2014 01:27 Firebolt145 wrote:
On March 10 2014 01:23 kollin wrote:
On March 09 2014 17:54 Kiett wrote:
On March 09 2014 15:20 Riner1212 wrote:
single and luvin every minute of it haha. women are annoying as hell.

maybe you should try men then. i like men and my life is great. like seriously, women are so fucking annoying. they're always whining and complaining and crying and asking for money and wanting cats and jewelry and babies and stupid shit like that. i could never see myself dating a girl. females are just horrible creatures.

You're gay?

I don't know whether you're joking or just kollining.

?

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/profile.php?user=Kiett

8(
EDIT: I should clarify I know that kiett is a girl lol
GaNgStaRR.ElV
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada535 Posts
March 09 2014 17:31 GMT
#8532
On March 09 2014 20:57 amaDeus wrote:
yo seeking some advice from ppl who have (maybe) been in the same spot.
i've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for ~3 1/2 years. its a long distance (~250km, so not too bad, we see each other every second weekend and when we both have vacation from university) relationship and its working out fine.
we never had any real trouble or big fights, as we are both too lazy or not willing to fight and rather just say "it's my own fault" and we try to solve the issue.
she's like the perfect fit for me. same humour, pretty, kinda thinks the same way, accepts my hobbies,...
i just got the problem that i cant say 100% to myself that i truly love her anymore. i don't know. i like to hang out with her, i'd be the last one to hurt her.
i don't know how to describe it. when we don't see each other for e.g. 2 weeks i dont have a big anticipation and i don't miss her as much as she misses me.
she's my first girlfriend (and vice versa), i'm 20.
i'm not sure about my feelings and i dont know if i want to spent the rest of my life with her.
any advice how i can sort out my feelings?



Sounds like she's just giving you everything you want, so naturally being men we have a need to imagine greener pastures.

Unlike the person who said that when your having these feelings you should bail, you should wait until you actually have a stable life together before you could judge if there is long-term potential(well obv. there is already long term potential)
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32135 Posts
March 09 2014 17:44 GMT
#8533
On March 09 2014 20:57 amaDeus wrote:
yo seeking some advice from ppl who have (maybe) been in the same spot.
i've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for ~3 1/2 years. its a long distance (~250km, so not too bad, we see each other every second weekend and when we both have vacation from university) relationship and its working out fine.
we never had any real trouble or big fights, as we are both too lazy or not willing to fight and rather just say "it's my own fault" and we try to solve the issue.
she's like the perfect fit for me. same humour, pretty, kinda thinks the same way, accepts my hobbies,...
i just got the problem that i cant say 100% to myself that i truly love her anymore. i don't know. i like to hang out with her, i'd be the last one to hurt her.
i don't know how to describe it. when we don't see each other for e.g. 2 weeks i dont have a big anticipation and i don't miss her as much as she misses me.
she's my first girlfriend (and vice versa), i'm 20.
i'm not sure about my feelings and i dont know if i want to spent the rest of my life with her.
any advice how i can sort out my feelings?

settling is stupid

break up, go get your dick wet, live life, etc
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-03-09 20:34:45
March 09 2014 20:32 GMT
#8534
There is no advice to give here.
We're not you, we can't decide whether or not you have feelings for someone.

Just ask yourself whether or not you'd continue the relationship if you had other opportunities. Chose depending on your answer.
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-03-09 20:36:30
March 09 2014 20:35 GMT
#8535
On March 09 2014 20:59 jrkirby wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 09 2014 20:57 amaDeus wrote:
yo seeking some advice from ppl who have (maybe) been in the same spot.
i've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for ~3 1/2 years. its a long distance (~250km, so not too bad, we see each other every second weekend and when we both have vacation from university) relationship and its working out fine.
we never had any real trouble or big fights, as we are both too lazy or not willing to fight and rather just say "it's my own fault" and we try to solve the issue.
she's like the perfect fit for me. same humour, pretty, kinda thinks the same way, accepts my hobbies,...
i just got the problem that i cant say 100% to myself that i truly love her anymore. i don't know. i like to hang out with her, i'd be the last one to hurt her.
i don't know how to describe it. when we don't see each other for e.g. 2 weeks i dont have a big anticipation and i don't miss her as much as she misses me.
she's my first girlfriend (and vice versa), i'm 20.
i'm not sure about my feelings and i dont know if i want to spent the rest of my life with her.
any advice how i can sort out my feelings?


Maybe you should pm docvoc, he might have some advice.

Hola. What I'm going to say is going to sound horrible, but unfortunately it's the truth. I've never had that kind of a relationship, mine has always been heavily up and down, and it's never settles down for long. When my gf stopped feeling it, she broke up with me. Two months later she asked me if I'd take her back, but that isn't always the right thing for other people. There are some people that just fit, and they stay fit. There are some people that fit, but the passion isn't there. You aren't 40, it's about passion. If your heart beats for this girl, if every time she texts you, you get a little happier, feel a little better, etc. then I'd say wait it out a bit, if not it's time to break up. Those are your two options; break up, or don't. I'd honestly suggest, from how you are describing this, that you assess the passion here. If the fact is that the passion isn't there, I'd break up with her and try your luck elsewhere. If you come to find that what you really wanted was her, then you beg her back, and if not, you move on. If you stopped feeling it, and you aren't at an age where your options are slimming and settling down is imminent, it's time to make a move. The fact is that if you guys avoid confrontation, you avoid any kind of contention and passion. There has to be sexual passion and angry passion, it's like a yin yang. Everyone gets angry at each other, it's how life works. Assess that for yourself, and for your sake, be less of a pussy than I used to be, and don't be codependent about your love. Those are lessons I had to learn the hard way too. If you need anything, I'm not a pick up artist extraordinaire or have insane amounts of dating prowess, but honestly you can always PM me or any of the guys you feel might help in the thread. I almost always agree with QuanticHawk even if I don't follow my own advice, his advice is another solid way to go about this.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
March 09 2014 21:55 GMT
#8536
Isn't it wierd to just end a relationship because you're kinda bored though? I feel like you should talk about it with your partner and try to make things exciting again or come to some mutual conclusion.
pebble444
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Italy2503 Posts
March 09 2014 22:48 GMT
#8537
On March 09 2014 20:57 amaDeus wrote:
yo seeking some advice from ppl who have (maybe) been in the same spot.
i've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for ~3 1/2 years. its a long distance (~250km, so not too bad, we see each other every second weekend and when we both have vacation from university) relationship and its working out fine.
we never had any real trouble or big fights, as we are both too lazy or not willing to fight and rather just say "it's my own fault" and we try to solve the issue.
she's like the perfect fit for me. same humour, pretty, kinda thinks the same way, accepts my hobbies,...
i just got the problem that i cant say 100% to myself that i truly love her anymore. i don't know. i like to hang out with her, i'd be the last one to hurt her.
i don't know how to describe it. when we don't see each other for e.g. 2 weeks i dont have a big anticipation and i don't miss her as much as she misses me.
she's my first girlfriend (and vice versa), i'm 20.
i'm not sure about my feelings and i dont know if i want to spent the rest of my life with her.
any advice how i can sort out my feelings?


Best advice is: talk to her about this. Men always underestimate how much more they can settle just by talking about it with their partner. Don' t be afraid to hurt her feelings, its best to be completly honest, if in any case you have considered leaving her already

Before you do talk to her you should consider the following:

-what made you fall in love with her in the beginning?
- Try picturing your life without her as your girlfriend
- What is missing right now? What is too much or too little?
- If you picture yourself on vacation, who is with you. she is?

(i' m assuming you have talked to a friend of yours who knows both you two. If not you should)
"Awaken my Child, and embrace the Glory that is your Birthright"
Ahzz
Profile Joined May 2007
Finland780 Posts
March 09 2014 23:14 GMT
#8538
On March 09 2014 20:57 amaDeus wrote:
yo seeking some advice from ppl who have (maybe) been in the same spot.
i've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for ~3 1/2 years. its a long distance (~250km, so not too bad, we see each other every second weekend and when we both have vacation from university) relationship and its working out fine.
we never had any real trouble or big fights, as we are both too lazy or not willing to fight and rather just say "it's my own fault" and we try to solve the issue.
she's like the perfect fit for me. same humour, pretty, kinda thinks the same way, accepts my hobbies,...
i just got the problem that i cant say 100% to myself that i truly love her anymore. i don't know. i like to hang out with her, i'd be the last one to hurt her.
i don't know how to describe it. when we don't see each other for e.g. 2 weeks i dont have a big anticipation and i don't miss her as much as she misses me.
she's my first girlfriend (and vice versa), i'm 20.
i'm not sure about my feelings and i dont know if i want to spent the rest of my life with her.
any advice how i can sort out my feelings?


Personally I think that too many make the mistake that they confuse having a crush on someone with love. As in, once the crush fades, love dissapears and apparently because the crush didnt last forever, she must not be the one. Yes, we love the feeling of excitement that comes from meeting another amazing person, or perhaps we no longer have that with the person you're in a relationship with. We yearn for that, and try to seek it. Very often when we feel the 'love' dissapear, it may often be a reflection of ourselves: Maybe we lead a relatively unexciting life ourselves, or we think we do. Maybe you two haven't really commited to each other for a while. We think something is missing and want excitement, when in reality we just stopped putting our everything to build the life we want. YOU have the opportunity to try and make this relationship better. It's not going to just happen. I'm not saying this is exactly your case, but consider it. Love can go for a moment, but it can also come back if you stick to it. It may require work, as in you actually put effort to it and try to create something new. Maybe it'll be better than anything before. Maybe not. But at least you should try.

Some other things to consider:

-Do you think you are selling yourself short? Don't sell yourself short or you may end up resenting your choice later on. Is she great for you, and does she return the value you place on her?
-Value in a relationship is CREATED. Both parties try to think of ways to be more amazing to the other person and new ways to bring excitement into the relationship. Have you been working on it?
-It may sound crazy, but perhaps you get bored of a relationship if you don't want anything more of it? Do you want someone to spend the rest of your life with? No I'm not saying propose to her, but think. If you have no intention of committing more to the person in the near future or anyone else for that matter, perhaps you are not ready for this yet?
-Talk with her. But don't just ramble on about things, actually consider what you're about to say before you say it, and try to think of how you can make your message as easy to take as possible.

Kojak21
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada1104 Posts
March 09 2014 23:46 GMT
#8539
Every relation ship is gunna get boring after awhile
¯\_(☺)_/¯
Mensol
Profile Joined September 2012
14536 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-03-10 00:17:07
March 10 2014 00:15 GMT
#8540
im so dumb looool. She told me that her weekends are so boring.

It was too late when i realized she wanted me to invite her for weekend ;_;
If you don't know what the fuck you are doing, how are your enemies supposed to know what the fuck you are doing. - imaqtpie on NA teams at Worlds.
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