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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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ZenithM
France15952 Posts
On March 10 2014 19:37 arb wrote: Actually had a guy i used to work with who had like 3 kids but married a man for the following reason : "I love women and i love pussy but i cant deal with that god damn attitude so i settled for a man" Sounds like a weak reason :D. Probably not the full story. | ||
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darthfoley
United States8003 Posts
 Stay thirsty, my friends! | ||
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KaiserKieran
United States615 Posts
On March 11 2014 01:05 solidbebe wrote: Hahah, this thread is amazing True dat. I overthink things way too much it actually sucks. I think I'm just gonna have a "fuck it" attitude. Just got to open up more and be confident. As for my wierd situation I think I'm just going wait for her to talk to me or something but I have no idea what I would say or do if she did. Just have to work on my confidence otherwise. | ||
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Calanthe
United States141 Posts
On March 11 2014 04:29 KaiserKieran wrote: I overthink things way too much it actually sucks. I think I'm just gonna have a "fuck it" attitude. Just got to open up more and be confident. YES. A+. Go get 'em. (And don't forget to be a good person!) On March 10 2014 06:55 Najda wrote: Isn't it wierd to just end a relationship because you're kinda bored though? I feel like you should talk about it with your partner and try to make things exciting again or come to some mutual conclusion. FWIW, I did this a lot through high school and college and I ended up feeling super trapped in the relationships. No bueno. Do you guys exist in real life or are you some sort of sentient, terrible amalgamation of everything that's wrong with people? | ||
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Calanthe
United States141 Posts
my coworker told me a story yesterday about how she has a friend (brittany) whose husband (joel or something, idk) was sexually abused by his brother (conrad) when he was younger, like repeatedly raped, and now that they're older, joel and conrad are still sleeping together. if we put aside that they're biological siblings and look at them instead as a consenting, non-reproducing couple, is this an ethically okay thing to do? | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On March 11 2014 05:52 Calanthe wrote: (trigger warning!) my coworker told me a story yesterday about how she has a friend (brittany) whose husband (joel or something, idk) was sexually abused by his brother (conrad) when he was younger, like repeatedly raped, and now that they're older, joel and conrad are still sleeping together. if we put aside that they're biological siblings and look at them instead as a consenting, non-reproducing couple, is this an ethically okay thing to do? Huh no ? Who would say it's an "okay thing to do" ? Would you really ask the question if someone rapes his child and then when said child is an adult still has consensual incest with his parent ? Almost identical situation. Same question with a brother and a sister (where one is sterile to make it fair). Or if you want to put aside the incest part, take a situation where someone is raped by the neighbor as a child. And the guy is actually also the husband of a third person. Child abuse is a fucking serious trauma. You don't perpetuate it. | ||
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Calanthe
United States141 Posts
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aTnClouD
Italy2428 Posts
On March 11 2014 05:52 Calanthe wrote: (trigger warning!) my coworker told me a story yesterday about how she has a friend (brittany) whose husband (joel or something, idk) was sexually abused by his brother (conrad) when he was younger, like repeatedly raped, and now that they're older, joel and conrad are still sleeping together. if we put aside that they're biological siblings and look at them instead as a consenting, non-reproducing couple, is this an ethically okay thing to do? It comes down to your personal values. People will answer your question differently according to what they believe is acceptable or not. Apart from their adult relationship, you do not ever force a kid, or anybody, into sex. That much should be obvious to everybody. | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On March 11 2014 07:09 Calanthe wrote: (This is a discussion question. I'm not asking because I'm not sure how I feel about it.) What would your exact question to discuss be then ? Without a story where you put aside some of it. | ||
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aTnClouD
Italy2428 Posts
On March 11 2014 08:05 rezoacken wrote: That gets nonsensical, if you put aside the abuse/rape, the incest and the fact that the person is married. You are left with only a relationship to consider. What would your exact question to discuss be then ? Without a story where you put aside some of it. I agree that the abuse/rape part and the marriage part are horrible (unless his marriage is an open relationship). But leaving all these factors aside, could you please explain me why a homosexual incestuous relationship would be harmful in any way? | ||
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arb
Noobville17921 Posts
On March 11 2014 01:09 ZenithM wrote: Sounds like a weak reason :D. Probably not the full story. seemed legit to me | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On March 11 2014 08:17 aTnClouD wrote: I agree that the abuse/rape part and the marriage part are horrible (unless his marriage is an open relationship). But leaving all these factors aside, could you please explain me why a homosexual incestuous relationship would be harmful in any way? That's where I'm getting. Calanthe should state her question really clearly so that everyone is on the same page. As stated, I'm considering the situation as a whole. Not as individual independents parts. Things are linked in this story. I have nothing against an homosexual relationship but I have something against somebody getting raped as a kid and then still sleeping with his abuser yeah. And I hope you agree that an homosexual incestuous relationship based on past child abuse is definitely harmful. So again, what is the exact question you want to discuss then Calenthe ? | ||
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killa_robot
Canada1884 Posts
On March 11 2014 05:52 Calanthe wrote: (trigger warning!) my coworker told me a story yesterday about how she has a friend (brittany) whose husband (joel or something, idk) was sexually abused by his brother (conrad) when he was younger, like repeatedly raped, and now that they're older, joel and conrad are still sleeping together. if we put aside that they're biological siblings and look at them instead as a consenting, non-reproducing couple, is this an ethically okay thing to do? Ummm, no? Putting the incest and rape aside, Joel is clearly cheating on Brittany with Conrad. | ||
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Dogfoodboy16
364 Posts
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aTnClouD
Italy2428 Posts
On March 11 2014 15:02 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: Why does stuff you get for free or for a discount looked down upon in relationships? I took my gf last week to the movies at a theatre I used to work at as a kid and she said it doesn't count as date because I got the tickets and popcorn and drinks for free. Yesterday I sent her flowers to work using an agency my job does business with so I can get a cheaper price on them. She says thanks for gesture but I know you got a deal on them. It's not like im struggling for money but can't a guy save a couple bucks? wtf XD Don't let her treat you like shit. | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
Making a remark on the price is just not appropriate, it's not like you gave cheap flowers or went to the crappiest cinema; it's the same quality thing but only at a discount due to personal relations. | ||
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Shauni
4077 Posts
On March 11 2014 08:23 rezoacken wrote: That's where I'm getting. Calanthe should state her question really clearly so that everyone is on the same page. As stated, I'm considering the situation as a whole. Not as individual independents parts. Things are linked in this story. I have nothing against an homosexual relationship but I have something against somebody getting raped as a kid and then still sleeping with his abuser yeah. And I hope you agree that an homosexual incestuous relationship based on past child abuse is definitely harmful. So again, what is the exact question you want to discuss then Calenthe ? Look, just because it's considered rape by law (since underage) doesn't mean every instance has to be traumatizing. In fact, most of the trauma comes from skewed society views like yours. | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
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fragfish
19 Posts
On March 11 2014 15:02 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: Why does stuff you get for free or for a discount looked down upon in relationships? I took my gf last week to the movies at a theatre I used to work at as a kid and she said it doesn't count as date because I got the tickets and popcorn and drinks for free. Yesterday I sent her flowers to work using an agency my job does business with so I can get a cheaper price on them. She says thanks for gesture but I know you got a deal on them. It's not like im struggling for money but can't a guy save a couple bucks? wtf XD Wtf? If my gf had pulled stuff liked that I wouldn't be married to her now. Luckily, she'd rather go "oh clever, you saved some bucks on that", because, seriously, what is the point of foregoing a good deal on a present? All it'd prove is that you can't handle money; hardly an argument in your favour. If she feels that the value of your relationship is somehow linked to the monetary value of your gifts, I would seriously question why she's in it to begin with. | ||
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Restrider
Germany129 Posts
On March 11 2014 19:21 fragfish wrote: Wtf? If my gf had pulled stuff liked that I wouldn't be married to her now. Luckily, she'd rather go "oh clever, you saved some bucks on that", because, seriously, what is the point of foregoing a good deal on a present? All it'd prove is that you can't handle money; hardly an argument in your favour. If she feels that the value of your relationship is somehow linked to the monetary value of your gifts, I would seriously question why she's in it to begin with. This goes even deeper. She frowns upon the idea of him saving some money on things she expects to get for free. Do you see the double standard? | ||
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