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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On March 12 2014 04:47 rezoacken wrote:
So she would rather be with someone that gives her the same things but paying more for it ?
I don't call looking for a status symbol, I call that being really stupid. And then she argues that they'll need money for their kids, and then bitch about her boyfriend sparing money. Okay...
No kidding. Best piece of advice that I ever heard about finding a spouse (and followed) is to make sure that you marry a frugal woman. If your wife is frugal, she'll probably have most of the other important priorities sorted out as well.
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On March 12 2014 04:27 farvacola wrote:
I would take anything that SixStrings says with a hefty grain of Kosher. Respecting the priority systems of other people is generally a good idea
Yeah, because especially Muslims are notorious for awarding other religions the same amount of 'respect'...
Calling it a 'priority-system' doesn't make it any less pugnacious, exclusive, genocidal, misogynistic, reason-defying, anti-gay, anti-enjoyment, anti-intellectual and inherently irreconcilable with modern ethics (and other 'priority systems').
Don't ever ask me to 'respect' (god I hate this word) a religion that in its real-life application mutilates women, executes gays, revers the killing of infidels and spits on every advancement in humanities in the past century. I'm not saying Muslims are bad people, I'm saying that religion is a cancer and should be treated accordingly.
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You must be great at parties.
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On March 12 2014 05:19 farvacola wrote:
You must be great at parties.
I should have known better than to argue with someone who dismisses anything I say just because it is I who says it.
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On March 12 2014 05:23 SixStrings wrote:I should have known better than to argue with someone who dismisses anything I say just because it is I who says it.
News flash: People are different. Not every Muslim is all those things you listed.
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On March 12 2014 05:39 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2014 05:23 SixStrings wrote:On March 12 2014 05:19 farvacola wrote:
You must be great at parties. I should have known better than to argue with someone who dismisses anything I say just because it is I who says it. News flash: People are different. Not every Muslim is all those things you listed.
I made abundantly clear that it's not about Muslims (or Jews, or Christians, or Mormons) but about Islam (or religion in general). There's a big difference between ridiculing Muslims and ridiculing Islam. Obviously a religious person can be a decent person, but that's not because of but in spite of religion.
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You should check out /r/atheism. You'll fit right in over there.
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Northern Ireland26358 Posts
What's the problem? He doesn't like religion and doesn't want his prospective partners to be religious (I'd imagine), his prerogative at the end of the day
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On March 12 2014 05:51 Calanthe wrote:
You should check out /r/atheism. You'll fit right in over there.
Since you called me a miserable person a page before, I take this as the insult it's probably supposed to be.
Care to wager that for every link to forums inhabited by Atheist fanatics you would find ten to e-dwellings of religious zealots?
On March 12 2014 05:58 Wombat_NI wrote:
What's the problem? He doesn't like religion and doesn't want his prospective partners to be religious (I'd imagine), his prerogative at the end of the day
Actually, I started it. I just detest the notion of 'respecting' evil, violence and bigotry just because it's in the guise of religion.
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On March 12 2014 05:59 SixStrings wrote:
Actually, I started it. I just detest the notion of 'respecting' evil, violence and bigotry just because it's in the guise of religion.
And based one what you've posted in this thread, I find you to be a fairly detestable person yourself. But I'm not gonna go around raging about all the people that I find detestable.
Move on - religion "discussions" are never productive.
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On March 12 2014 05:47 SixStrings wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2014 05:39 Najda wrote:On March 12 2014 05:23 SixStrings wrote:On March 12 2014 05:19 farvacola wrote:
You must be great at parties. I should have known better than to argue with someone who dismisses anything I say just because it is I who says it. News flash: People are different. Not every Muslim is all those things you listed. I made abundantly clear that it's not about Muslims (or Jews, or Christians, or Mormons) but about Islam (or religion in general). There's a big difference between ridiculing Muslims and ridiculing Islam. Obviously a religious person can be a decent person, but that's not because of but in spite of religion.
Okay but this is a dating thread talking about an individual in a specific scenario, so I don't get why you're changing the topic to talk about the religion in general. Go to a thread meant for discussion religions if you want to preach your hatred.
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On March 12 2014 06:13 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2014 05:47 SixStrings wrote:On March 12 2014 05:39 Najda wrote:On March 12 2014 05:23 SixStrings wrote:On March 12 2014 05:19 farvacola wrote:
You must be great at parties. I should have known better than to argue with someone who dismisses anything I say just because it is I who says it. News flash: People are different. Not every Muslim is all those things you listed. I made abundantly clear that it's not about Muslims (or Jews, or Christians, or Mormons) but about Islam (or religion in general). There's a big difference between ridiculing Muslims and ridiculing Islam. Obviously a religious person can be a decent person, but that's not because of but in spite of religion. Okay but this is a dating thread talking about an individual in a specific scenario, so I don't get why you're changing the topic to talk about the religion in general. Go to a thread meant for discussion religions if you want to preach your hatred.
I don't think saying a notion shouldn't be above critical inspection and doesn't automatically deserve respect equates to 'preaching hatred', but alright, I won't go on about it.
On March 12 2014 06:05 jcarlsoniv wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2014 05:59 SixStrings wrote:
Actually, I started it. I just detest the notion of 'respecting' evil, violence and bigotry just because it's in the guise of religion. And based one what you've posted in this thread, I find you to be a fairly detestable person yourself.
That does seem to be the consensus in this thread.
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On March 12 2014 05:58 Wombat_NI wrote:
What's the problem? He doesn't like religion and doesn't want his prospective partners to be religious (I'd imagine), his prerogative at the end of the day
Yeah but he could have just said that, instead of saying all these negative things about Islam..
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On March 12 2014 04:47 rezoacken wrote:
So she would rather be with someone that gives her the same things but paying more for it ?
I don't call looking for a status symbol, I call that being really stupid. And then she argues that they'll need money for their kids, and then bitch about her boyfriend sparing money. Okay...
No one says it's rational, but there are definitely people like that.
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On March 12 2014 06:05 jcarlsoniv wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2014 05:59 SixStrings wrote:
Actually, I started it. I just detest the notion of 'respecting' evil, violence and bigotry just because it's in the guise of religion. And based one what you've posted in this thread, I find you to be a fairly detestable person yourself. But I'm not gonna go around raging about all the people that I find detestable. Move on - religion "discussions" are never productive.
Au contraire mon frere. They can sometimes be productive.
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Dogfoodboy:
Does she buy you gifts? Do they tend to be expensive? It could just be that she feels unappreciated because the gift giving is not being reciprocated. If for example, she buys you nice clothing and cooks you fancy dinners, but you aren't doing the same, I could see how it would be hurtful to her. If she is expecting you to shell out the $$$ on everything, yet is not willing to do the same for you, I'd recommend extracting yourself from the situation. Also, her cutting you down for making less money is a red flag. Its best not to date those kind of women and save them for the legions of white knights/nice guys who don't know any better. Their pwnage is everyone else's entertainment.
Religion:
Religion as a *concept* should NOT be respected. Its gotten a special status throughout history, allowing the church to commit horrible atrocities as a result. No one was allowed to question religions, because they'd get burned at the stake. That taboo still persists to this day, and the sooner we get rid of this taboo and point out how ridiculous religion the concept is, the better off the world will be.
With that being said, religion *people* should be free to believe whatever they want, as long as they aren't forcing or pushing their beliefs onto you. It would be a silly idea to date someone religious though. That's just asking for trouble.
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On March 12 2014 09:12 fishjie wrote:
Dogfoodboy:
Does she buy you gifts? Do they tend to be expensive? It could just be that she feels unappreciated because the gift giving is not being reciprocated. If for example, she buys you nice clothing and cooks you fancy dinners, but you aren't doing the same, I could see how it would be hurtful to her. If she is expecting you to shell out the $$$ on everything, yet is not willing to do the same for you, I'd recommend extracting yourself from the situation. Also, her cutting you down for making less money is a red flag. Its best not to date those kind of women and save them for the legions of white knights/nice guys who don't know any better. Their pwnage is everyone else's entertainment.
Religion:
Religion as a *concept* should NOT be respected. Its gotten a special status throughout history, allowing the church to commit horrible atrocities as a result. No one was allowed to question religions, because they'd get burned at the stake. That taboo still persists to this day, and the sooner we get rid of this taboo and point out how ridiculous religion the concept is, the better off the world will be.
With that being said, religion *people* should be free to believe whatever they want, as long as they aren't forcing or pushing their beliefs onto you. It would be a silly idea to date someone religious though. That's just asking for trouble.
The only problem I have is the final statement because I know couples and parents with differing religions ( and atheists but that is rarer I admit but still possible) that stay together the most common being Christian Jewish couples. That is an ignorant statement to be quite blunt from my point of view. I honestly don't believe that continued argueing at least over a forum with strangers will change anyone's view. Religion is religion and everyone can believe what they want but saying that an athiest or someone who isn't very religious cannot date someone who is is just absurd.
On other news I think that if I act like I have everything down in real life people will believe it. I talked to my brother about the concept of if you act like you are on top of the world you ARE on top of the world from other peoples point of view. It worked out for me earlier in the year but every now and again I slip into a depressed state. Winter is usually when it happens but I think with spring coming I'll start to feel better and more confident.
Any tips for confidence? I've noticed I can talk to girls that are attractive and actually have a good conversation and be witty/funny with them but with a mega attractive girl and I can't smile or laugh or be playful that easily. Is this a mental block or something else? Is there anything I should change/do or should I just wait until it comes naturally? (which I always hear about but seems impossible haha)
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These last 2 pages are so funny.
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I strongly disagree with dating religious people. Even the bible has a verse that says: "do not be unequally yoked" which means don't marry non believers. They used to talk about it in bible studies too. So its not just atheists saying that. Religions themselves frown upon it. I'm an ex christian whose been to multiple churches, none of them were thrilled about interfaith marriages. Just think about long term how bad of an idea it is. As an atheist I do not want my kid getting brainwashed in church, whereas if my wifey were a christian, she'd think I was condemning our kid to hell. Neither side could possibly win that argument because there's no possibility of compromise. One side believes the kid will be tortured for an eternity, the other side believes that their kid will be psychologically traumatized by emotionally abusive fire and brimstone brainwashing.
The only way it could possibly work out is if they weren't actually religious. Example a cultural jew who observes the customs but doesn't actually believe a word in the bible. Or unitarian churches. Etc...
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On March 12 2014 09:29 KaiserKieran wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2014 09:12 fishjie wrote:
Dogfoodboy:
Does she buy you gifts? Do they tend to be expensive? It could just be that she feels unappreciated because the gift giving is not being reciprocated. If for example, she buys you nice clothing and cooks you fancy dinners, but you aren't doing the same, I could see how it would be hurtful to her. If she is expecting you to shell out the $$$ on everything, yet is not willing to do the same for you, I'd recommend extracting yourself from the situation. Also, her cutting you down for making less money is a red flag. Its best not to date those kind of women and save them for the legions of white knights/nice guys who don't know any better. Their pwnage is everyone else's entertainment.
Religion:
Religion as a *concept* should NOT be respected. Its gotten a special status throughout history, allowing the church to commit horrible atrocities as a result. No one was allowed to question religions, because they'd get burned at the stake. That taboo still persists to this day, and the sooner we get rid of this taboo and point out how ridiculous religion the concept is, the better off the world will be.
With that being said, religion *people* should be free to believe whatever they want, as long as they aren't forcing or pushing their beliefs onto you. It would be a silly idea to date someone religious though. That's just asking for trouble. The only problem I have is the final statement because I know couples and parents with differing religions ( and atheists but that is rarer I admit but still possible) that stay together the most common being Christian Jewish couples. That is an ignorant statement to be quite blunt from my point of view. I honestly don't believe that continued argueing at least over a forum with strangers will change anyone's view. Religion is religion and everyone can believe what they want but saying that an athiest or someone who isn't very religious cannot date someone who is is just absurd. On other news I think that if I act like I have everything down in real life people will believe it. I talked to my brother about the concept of if you act like you are on top of the world you ARE on top of the world from other peoples point of view. It worked out for me earlier in the year but every now and again I slip into a depressed state. Winter is usually when it happens but I think with spring coming I'll start to feel better and more confident. Any tips for confidence? I've noticed I can talk to girls that are attractive and actually have a good conversation and be witty/funny with them but with a mega attractive girl and I can't smile or laugh or be playful that easily. Is this a mental block or something else? Is there anything I should change/do or should I just wait until it comes naturally? (which I always hear about but seems impossible haha)
When you talk to girls you consciously and subconsciously (body language like eye movement, fidgeting, tone of voice) register their feedback which will tell you if the conversation is going well or not. It's likely that these mega attractive girls are simply giving bad body language or terse replies because they aren't interested in you. You may get more nervous as a result but I would say that your anxiety is probably justified from having received bad feedback before.
It's why you can go up to some people that you've never met before and be talking about something sensitive immediately but you might be afraid to do so with someone that you've known for years.
On March 12 2014 09:49 fishjie wrote:
I strongly disagree with dating religious people. Even the bible has a verse that says: "do not be unequally yoked" which means don't marry non believers. They used to talk about it in bible studies too. So its not just atheists saying that. Religions themselves frown upon it. I'm an ex christian whose been to multiple churches, none of them were thrilled about interfaith marriages. Just think about long term how bad of an idea it is. As an atheist I do not want my kid getting brainwashed in church, whereas if my wifey were a christian, she'd think I was condemning our kid to hell. Neither side could possibly win that argument because there's no possibility of compromise. One side believes the kid will be tortured for an eternity, the other side believes that their kid will be psychologically traumatized by emotionally abusive fire and brimstone brainwashing.
The only way it could possibly work out is if they weren't actually religious. Example a cultural jew who observes the customs but doesn't actually believe a word in the bible. Or unitarian churches. Etc...
Maybe you come from a background that sees religion a little differently but most people just don't take religion that seriously.
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