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On March 12 2014 09:54 Chocolate wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2014 09:29 KaiserKieran wrote:On March 12 2014 09:12 fishjie wrote:
Dogfoodboy:
Does she buy you gifts? Do they tend to be expensive? It could just be that she feels unappreciated because the gift giving is not being reciprocated. If for example, she buys you nice clothing and cooks you fancy dinners, but you aren't doing the same, I could see how it would be hurtful to her. If she is expecting you to shell out the $$$ on everything, yet is not willing to do the same for you, I'd recommend extracting yourself from the situation. Also, her cutting you down for making less money is a red flag. Its best not to date those kind of women and save them for the legions of white knights/nice guys who don't know any better. Their pwnage is everyone else's entertainment.
Religion:
Religion as a *concept* should NOT be respected. Its gotten a special status throughout history, allowing the church to commit horrible atrocities as a result. No one was allowed to question religions, because they'd get burned at the stake. That taboo still persists to this day, and the sooner we get rid of this taboo and point out how ridiculous religion the concept is, the better off the world will be.
With that being said, religion *people* should be free to believe whatever they want, as long as they aren't forcing or pushing their beliefs onto you. It would be a silly idea to date someone religious though. That's just asking for trouble. The only problem I have is the final statement because I know couples and parents with differing religions ( and atheists but that is rarer I admit but still possible) that stay together the most common being Christian Jewish couples. That is an ignorant statement to be quite blunt from my point of view. I honestly don't believe that continued argueing at least over a forum with strangers will change anyone's view. Religion is religion and everyone can believe what they want but saying that an athiest or someone who isn't very religious cannot date someone who is is just absurd. On other news I think that if I act like I have everything down in real life people will believe it. I talked to my brother about the concept of if you act like you are on top of the world you ARE on top of the world from other peoples point of view. It worked out for me earlier in the year but every now and again I slip into a depressed state. Winter is usually when it happens but I think with spring coming I'll start to feel better and more confident. Any tips for confidence? I've noticed I can talk to girls that are attractive and actually have a good conversation and be witty/funny with them but with a mega attractive girl and I can't smile or laugh or be playful that easily. Is this a mental block or something else? Is there anything I should change/do or should I just wait until it comes naturally? (which I always hear about but seems impossible haha) When you talk to girls you consciously and subconsciously (body language like eye movement, fidgeting, tone of voice) register their feedback which will tell you if the conversation is going well or not. It's likely that these mega attractive girls are simply giving bad body language or terse replies because they aren't interested in you. You may get more nervous as a result but I would say that your anxiety is probably justified from having received bad feedback before. It's why you can go up to some people that you've never met before and be talking about something sensitive immediately but you might be afraid to do so with someone that you've known for years. Show nested quote +On March 12 2014 09:49 fishjie wrote:
I strongly disagree with dating religious people. Even the bible has a verse that says: "do not be unequally yoked" which means don't marry non believers. They used to talk about it in bible studies too. So its not just atheists saying that. Religions themselves frown upon it. I'm an ex christian whose been to multiple churches, none of them were thrilled about interfaith marriages. Just think about long term how bad of an idea it is. As an atheist I do not want my kid getting brainwashed in church, whereas if my wifey were a christian, she'd think I was condemning our kid to hell. Neither side could possibly win that argument because there's no possibility of compromise. One side believes the kid will be tortured for an eternity, the other side believes that their kid will be psychologically traumatized by emotionally abusive fire and brimstone brainwashing.
The only way it could possibly work out is if they weren't actually religious. Example a cultural jew who observes the customs but doesn't actually believe a word in the bible. Or unitarian churches. Etc... Maybe you come from a background that sees religion a little differently but most people just don't take religion that seriously.
Well the thing is I know this girl likes me but she still makes me nervous. (Well I'm like 90% sure) it's like when I talk to her I get serious and have to be focused on a subject (I have English with her) and maybe I say something personal to her like ask if she's going to a *instert sports game here____* but most of the time she says she isn't which is crazy because virtually everyone in my school goes to these things. I'll try and find out more tomrrow but she is really cute and nice but it feels like we don't click or whatever.
I'm not planning in getting into a relationship with her in the near future because of my most recent relationship woes but I def but want to get closer to her if that makes any sense. Your logic makes sense cause there ARE people I'm not afraid to talk about shit with whom I've never talked about anything before but as soon as I talk to this girl my mind goes out the window and confidence nose dives.
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I'd say you're doing alright? Are'nt these small exchanges getting easier to deal with? Are'nt both of you getting more comfortable in these exchanges?
Make her talk about herself, if she's the least bit curious she'll ask you about yourself.
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On March 12 2014 10:14 AeroGear wrote:
I'd say you're doing alright? Are'nt these small exchanges getting easier to deal with? Are'nt both of you getting more comfortable in these exchanges?
Make her talk about herself, if she's the least bit curious she'll ask you about yourself.
Thanks the meetings have gotten easier I think I just need to be more patient with things. I'm friends with both of her girlfriends in the class which make things easier but I guess in just disappointed I haven't been able to connect with her as well as I have with other people.
We have the same post count holy shit what are the chances?
Edit: 1 more than you 
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If she doesn't go to sports games, ask her what she does instead! Regarding not feeling like you guys click - don't sweat that.
AeroGear's on the right track, but let's not think of it as "making" anyone do anything. Consider instead ways to encourage her to open up, like asking open-ended questions.
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Wow, didn't expect coming back to that many responses.
Why do love my girlfriend? Shes the only girl I have known that has been able to put up with my bullshit for several years without complaining. When I was dating other girls she would always say "I give her 2 months" or "she will be gone in 6 weeks" because she knows I have the my way or the highway attitude. She has dealt with an incredible amount of hardship in her life through sexism, racism, immigrating from the middle east, etc. that she is impervious to my snide remarks and dark sense of humor. I have a tendency to push girls away when i feel like a relationship seems to be getting to close and she knows this. She sees through my self destructive nature and accepts me for who I am in spite of my obvious flaws. And yes, the sex is cray cray. All we did when we officially got together for the first time on valentines day for did the day after is eat, shower, and fuck. Despite all our differences, she embodies every desirable quality I have ever wanted in a woman and can safely say she is one of the very few women that I respect.
Does she buy me expensive stuff? Yea. I mean shes bough me a heavy bag and speed bag for my Sun room where I can practice my hobby of boxing. Shes bought me a surfboard because i like to surf and we live near the beach but I buy expensive stuff for her also like tickets to see The Boss. Sometimes i think she is just trying to break my balls but it goes over my head because girls lack the ability to be funny. Honestly, im probably just scared shitless to get in a serious relationship with her even though that's what I want and would be the best thing for me.
As far as me consistently critiquing her religion choice, obviously their is a lot of overcompensation going on here on my part. Clearly im gay and don't want people to know it about it. I'm kinda like a guy that is a coward that challenges everybody he meets to a fight. What you are seeing here is a manifestation with my struggle with my sexuality...or some pseudo intellectual bullshit like that.
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On March 12 2014 12:31 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
Wow, didn't expect coming back to that many responses.
Why do love my girlfriend? Shes the only girl I have known that has been able to put up with my bullshit for several years without complaining. When I was dating other girls she would always say "I give her 2 months" or "she will be gone in 6 weeks" because she knows I have the my way or the highway attitude. She has dealt with an incredible amount of hardship in her life through sexism, racism, immigrating from the middle east, etc. that she is impervious to my snide remarks and dark sense of humor. I have a tendency to push girls away when i feel like a relationship seems to be getting to close and she knows this. She sees through my self destructive nature and accepts me for who I am in spite of my obvious flaws. And yes, the sex is cray cray. All we did when we officially got together for the first time on valentines day for did the day after is eat, shower, and fuck. Despite all our differences, she embodies every desirable quality I have ever wanted in a woman and can safely say she is one of the very few women that I respect.
Does she buy me expensive stuff? Yea. I mean shes bough me a heavy bag and speed bag for my Sun room where I can practice my hobby of boxing. Shes bought me a surfboard because i like to surf and we live near the beach but I buy expensive stuff for her also like tickets to see The Boss. Sometimes i think she is just trying to break my balls but it goes over my head because girls lack the ability to be funny. Honestly, im probably just scared shitless to get in a serious relationship with her even though that's what I want and would be the best thing for me.
Okay, this all makes sense.
As far as me consistently critiquing her religion choice, obviously their is a lot of overcompensation going on here on my part. Clearly im gay and don't want people to know it about it. I'm kinda like a guy that is a coward that challenges everybody he meets to a fight. What you are seeing here is a manifestation with my struggle with my sexuality...or some pseudo intellectual bullshit like that.
Now, where the fuck did this come from?
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As far as me consistently critiquing her religion choice, obviously their is a lot of overcompensation going on here on my part. Clearly im gay and don't want people to know it about it. I'm kinda like a guy that is a coward that challenges everybody he meets to a fight. What you are seeing here is a manifestation with my struggle with my sexuality...or some pseudo intellectual bullshit like that.
Now, where the fuck did this come from?
That was in response to Slayers Red Cracker trying to insinuate an ulterior motive behind me talking about her religion in a previous post.
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girls lack the ability to be funny
are you all really dating people whose sense of humor you don't appreciate? I couldn't do that.
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On March 13 2014 01:26 ComaDose wrote:are you all really dating people whose sense of humor you don't appreciate? I couldn't do that.
Women literally do not posses the ability to be funny. Want proof?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/08/women-writers-television_n_1418584.html
The most progressive place in world who would gladly hire a women instead of a man cant because their are so few women who have a sense of humor.
Name 10 funny men then 10 funny women as fast as you can...i rest my case
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Northern Ireland27363 Posts
I don't think it's that women are incapable of being funny. at all. It is more that societally they are expected to be a bit more passive and appreciative of other peoples' humour rather than delivering it themselves, by and large.
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On March 13 2014 02:02 Wombat_NI wrote:
I don't think it's that women are incapable of being funny. at all. It is more that societally they are expected to be a bit more passive and appreciative of other peoples' humour rather than delivering it themselves, by and large.
The vast majority of women are not funny becuase they dont have to be funny to find a guy. Guys that are funny have an advantage when attracting women. Therefore men will always be greatly superior in being funny out of necessity.
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On March 13 2014 01:54 ragnasaur wrote:+ Show Spoiler +We met in Aug 2013
She is 21
I am 25
We're pretty much best friends (or were...)
We're in college together
We kissed once in beginning of relationship
We've slept/cuddled together (clothes on) 3 or 4 times
She is super christian and used to be married to one guy when she was 18-20.
I smoke and drink and have had a handful of partners.
I've been into this one girl for like eight months. After the first date we kissed and on the second date she friendzoned me. I don't know why she friendzoned me, i was pretty sure she was a horrible kisser and I've been told i'm good at it, but nowadays, after i've teased her about i,t she says I was a bad kisser haha. In December I had told her that I wanted to be more than friends. She said she wasn't looking for a relationship and she kept comparing our relationship to that of her ex husbands' and i was like wtf they are not the same at all! Anyways we've been really good friends ever since we met and do a lot of stuff together and despite being totally different, we have a lot in common
The other night we were dancing at a club and i went to the bathroom and i come back and shes dancing with this one tall handsome guy. In hindsight I should have just cut in right there but the last time we saw each other out, I was dancing with other girls so I thought it was OK (although that time we had met coincidentally & this time we went out together). Then she started making out with him and i got jealous. After the night ended she took me home and I more or less said i'd never see her again unless she kissed me. She kissed me and left and i went to bed and couldnt close my eyes cuz i was going cray. So i rode my bike to her house and knocked on her window and she let me in and i told her that I loved her and all this stuff and i basically poured all of my hot-steamy feelings over her ice-cream heart. All of this while we are sitting and eventually cuddling in the same bed. She said she loves me as a friend blahblah and that she wants to be a slut or w/e but she doesnt have sex (she says) she just kisses guys when she's horny. So i tell her that I know she loves me and that she has dealt with relationship problems in the past (besides her ex hb, her parents got divorced when she was 7) which makes her not want a relationship now. I try to tell her that becoming more attached to someone can be a good thing and that she has to be more positive. I also tell her that I'm totally cool with a friends with benefits deal
That night while cuddling she says she has a list of ideal things she wants in her man, so I'm like bring it on, show me! On the list i can remember: loves jesus, doesnt do drugs, 6'3", freckles, asian or dark skinned. She says she has a few of those lists laying around. So now I'm thinking this chick is a close-minded, shallow, slutty tease.
I think I freaked her out when I told her how I felt about her like a little bitch. We've texted a few times since then (6days ago) but things dont seem the same and I'm afraid that I've ruined the friendship forever! I don't really mind that she may not be attracted to me but I think I still want to be her friend.
Haaalp meee TL <3
She told you she wasn't into you. You kept having feelings for her anyway.
You gave her a sexual ultimatum and should feel like shit about yourself for that.
Showing up at someones house super late and blubbering all over them is a great way to ruin a friendship.
Your insulting her a lot on the internet.
TL:DR shes not into you and you are being a crazy creep
Also women can be funny. Don't need to look past my friends for 10 examples.
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On March 12 2014 12:31 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
Wow, didn't expect coming back to that many responses.
Why do love my girlfriend? Shes the only girl I have known that has been able to put up with my bullshit for several years without complaining. When I was dating other girls she would always say "I give her 2 months" or "she will be gone in 6 weeks" because she knows I have the my way or the highway attitude. She has dealt with an incredible amount of hardship in her life through sexism, racism, immigrating from the middle east, etc. that she is impervious to my snide remarks and dark sense of humor. I have a tendency to push girls away when i feel like a relationship seems to be getting to close and she knows this. She sees through my self destructive nature and accepts me for who I am in spite of my obvious flaws. And yes, the sex is cray cray. All we did when we officially got together for the first time on valentines day for did the day after is eat, shower, and fuck. Despite all our differences, she embodies every desirable quality I have ever wanted in a woman and can safely say she is one of the very few women that I respect.
Does she buy me expensive stuff? Yea. I mean shes bough me a heavy bag and speed bag for my Sun room where I can practice my hobby of boxing. Shes bought me a surfboard because i like to surf and we live near the beach but I buy expensive stuff for her also like tickets to see The Boss. Sometimes i think she is just trying to break my balls but it goes over my head because girls lack the ability to be funny. Honestly, im probably just scared shitless to get in a serious relationship with her even though that's what I want and would be the best thing for me.
As far as me consistently critiquing her religion choice, obviously their is a lot of overcompensation going on here on my part. Clearly im gay and don't want people to know it about it. I'm kinda like a guy that is a coward that challenges everybody he meets to a fight. What you are seeing here is a manifestation with my struggle with my sexuality...or some pseudo intellectual bullshit like that.
makes sense then
if she's spending money on you and treating you well, then she would understandably be hurt if you are not reciprocating, even if you are being clever by getting good deals. i had a suspicion that that's what the situation was (because i've been in that situation before), your response confirms it. i'd still be a little wary of her trying to cut you down for making less, but with the picture you paint i wouldn't be too worried about it.
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On March 13 2014 01:54 ragnasaur wrote:
We met in Aug 2013
She is 21
I am 25
We're pretty much best friends (or were...)
We're in college together
We kissed once in beginning of relationship
We've slept/cuddled together (clothes on) 3 or 4 times
She is super christian and used to be married to one guy when she was 18-20.
I smoke and drink and have had a handful of partners.
I've been into this one girl for like eight months. After the first date we kissed and on the second date she friendzoned me. I don't know why she friendzoned me, i was pretty sure she was a horrible kisser and I've been told i'm good at it, but nowadays, after i've teased her about i,t she says I was a bad kisser haha. In December I had told her that I wanted to be more than friends. She said she wasn't looking for a relationship and she kept comparing our relationship to that of her ex husbands' and i was like wtf they are not the same at all! Anyways we've been really good friends ever since we met and do a lot of stuff together and despite being totally different, we have a lot in common
The other night we were dancing at a club and i went to the bathroom and i come back and shes dancing with this one tall handsome guy. In hindsight I should have just cut in right there but the last time we saw each other out, I was dancing with other girls so I thought it was OK (although that time we had met coincidentally & this time we went out together). Then she started making out with him and i got jealous. After the night ended she took me home and I more or less said i'd never see her again unless she kissed me. She kissed me and left and i went to bed and couldnt close my eyes cuz i was going cray. So i rode my bike to her house and knocked on her window and she let me in and i told her that I loved her and all this stuff and i basically poured all of my hot-steamy feelings over her ice-cream heart. All of this while we are sitting and eventually cuddling in the same bed. She said she loves me as a friend blahblah and that she wants to be a slut or w/e but she doesnt have sex (she says) she just kisses guys when she's horny. So i tell her that I know she loves me and that she has dealt with relationship problems in the past (besides her ex hb, her parents got divorced when she was 7) which makes her not want a relationship now. I try to tell her that becoming more attached to someone can be a good thing and that she has to be more positive. I also tell her that I'm totally cool with a friends with benefits deal
That night while cuddling she says she has a list of ideal things she wants in her man, so I'm like bring it on, show me! On the list i can remember: loves jesus, doesnt do drugs, 6'3", freckles, asian or dark skinned. She says she has a few of those lists laying around. So now I'm thinking this chick is a close-minded, shallow, slutty tease.
I think I freaked her out when I told her how I felt about her like a little bitch. We've texted a few times since then (6days ago) but things dont seem the same and I'm afraid that I've ruined the friendship forever! I don't really mind that she may not be attracted to me but I think I still want to be her friend.
Haaalp meee TL <3
lol she's not that into you. and you were never exclusive so you can't get mad that she made out with some other dude. also your behavior is kinda creepy and clingy, like seriously you drop her off after forcing a kiss from her, and then go over to her place in the middle of the night and emotional diarrhea dump on her?
if you really want any shot at her, you have to date other women, and she will become jealous and come to you. if you keep up with your current build order, you're gonna continue to see her making out with other dudes. which is her right to do, i dunno why you wanna call her a slut.
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Women can be funny, it's just that female comedians are typically terrible because they try to overcompensate somehow. In the Netherlands it's common for them to be incredibly foul-mouthed and vulgar and it seems like they're trying too hard. I think subconsciously most women prefer not to be like those people.
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I have a weird tendency of mass consuming episodes of a television show and then adopting mannerisms of the main characters. I'm going through some Seinfeld seasons now, I hope I won't start to imitate George.
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I know a female amateur comedian. She is funny but most of her jokes are making fun of fat people, and she is a fat person herself  It's actually kind of sad. The other jokes involve making fun of black people and poor/white trash people though so maybe she isn't actually funny, but her appearance just juxtaposes with her humor. I don't know but she makes me laugh
@ragnasaur She likely listed that stuff because she didn't want to flat out say that she does not like you. To be honest I think you should move on. And I don't think you want to be her friend, I think you are too afraid to admit defeat and want to have at least the opportunity to bone her, however minute the chances of that may be. And yeah, she is definitely a slut for never having sex with people and not wanting to have sex with you!
Maybe I am not getting the context but I imagine that she might have been expecting something more physical when she was sleeping with you... in the same bed, even with clothes on.
By the way, does getting dirty texts from a girl mean that they probably would be down in an actual encounter?
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Northern Ireland27363 Posts
Yeah my point was more, society forces you somewhat into a certain degree of ability in various fields given your gender, but you can always be an outlier in that respect.
Women and humour is a strange one, in that they clearly appreciate humour and often tick all the boxes when making jokes themselves, but it isn't funny. You can rationalise that it should be, I know if a guy was making the same jokes I would piss myself but I'm getting nothing. I just feel it's some kind of unconscious bias at play or something, indeed I find women a lot funnier in article form, where perhaps the method of delivering the humour (i.e not visually/audially) somehow bypasses this bias that I (and I believe many) have.
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By the way, does getting dirty texts from a girl mean that they probably would be down in an actual encounter?
Once I was at a party and used my ex gf's cellphone to text a friend who liked her dirty messages. When he actually walked to her and pinched her ass he got slapped in face haha. Just make sure she's the one who sent it and yea.
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On March 13 2014 01:59 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:Show nested quote +On March 13 2014 01:26 ComaDose wrote:girls lack the ability to be funny are you all really dating people whose sense of humor you don't appreciate? I couldn't do that. Women literally do not posses the ability to be funny. Want proof?
Okay, um, just stopping right there, I don't know whether to start with the logical fallacy and/or bent observation of people that this statement... is, or just the piss-poor attitude in general that spawned it. I know they say nice guys finish last, but really?
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EPT
