EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 410
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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farvacola
United States18838 Posts
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
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farvacola
United States18838 Posts
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WombaT
Northern Ireland26018 Posts
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WombaT
Northern Ireland26018 Posts
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fishjie
United States1519 Posts
On February 14 2014 07:52 farvacola wrote: Your stories are only being corroborated by other dudes who are as awkward (or should I just say "anything but nice"?) around women as you are. It only makes sense that a dose of artificial "confidence" would trick y'all into thinking that being nice and being weak are the same thing, when, in reality, they are only brought together by an individual's inability to communicate effectively alongside a heavy faith in anecdotal, shallow advice that pidgeonholes attributes into terribly stilted categories. And yes, you got me, I'm only a frigid hermit with a bone to pick here. Woe is me. And like I said, its like you read only one sentence of my post. I specifically stated that one doesn't need to be an asshole. These guys are all afraid of being rejected so they beat around the bush, and then the women all use them as emotional tampons. A better way as I have stated is simply, ask them out, go on dates, and if they're not interested, move on and find someone who is. Yet I'm a misogynist? Riiiight. You also implied that I'm not seeking meaningful relationships, except in my post I specifically stated the immaturity of the PUA view that banging tons of women on one night stand is the metric for success. Its a stretch to assume I'm some desperate misogynist who has never known the love of a woman, hence I was merely showing you how ridiculous your statements are by labeling you a frigid hermit. Actually the best way to find a meaningful relationship is precisely to go out on lots of dates with women, until you find somebody who is compatible with you. You can't know who is compatible until you've actually dated (date != have sex with btw) a lot. All these guys are putting girls on a pedestal because they focus only on one girl to the exclusion of all else, even though the girl has made it clear they are not interested. I did that when I was younger because I was silly too, actually I would have appreciated receiving such advice back then. | ||
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Svetz
Australia311 Posts
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biology]major
United States2253 Posts
On February 14 2014 08:19 Svetz wrote: If we change the phrase to 'desperate guys finish last' will everyone be friends again? So if the guy bakes cookies expecting something in return (sex, affection), then he should not do it. If he bakes cookies because he wants to show the girl he cares about her and that's it, its fine? edit: I think it all comes down to the intention behind the action, not the action itself | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On February 14 2014 08:53 rezoacken wrote: The cookies are not related to the outcome. p much. As usual if you do it to gain something from it it is in general something pretty unattractive. It's equivalent to buying your "buddy" tickets to a sports event with the intent of him doing something in return. Wanna do something nice for your buddy? Awesome! He wants to do something nice for you sometime later? Awesome, too! Anyone doing anything with the intent of getting something out of it isn't something nice, it's trying to make a bargain. That's why the cookies are no deal at all (if you do it because "why not?" and would have done it for most people) and a huge deal (because you're doing it for her specifically) at the same time. In this specific case the guy wants to bang the girl, doesn't want to be straight forward because of the risk of getting shot down and tries to sneak ways in to somehow figure out if she might have any kind of non-romantic interest without taking any responsibility whatsoever. Since that's the intention behind the whole "AM I BEING A WUSSY IF I DO THIS FOR HER?!" it's complete bullshit but nonetheless a symptom, not a cause. The issue in cases like this is the complete dishonesty behind it, not much more or less. | ||
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Reason
United Kingdom2770 Posts
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fishjie
United States1519 Posts
The thing is, since its valentines day, the purpose of baking cookies is completely transparent. valentines day is a huge high pressure thing for people IN relationships, not for people NOT in relationships. so giving a gift on valentines day comes off as very needy, especially if they haven't even gone on a single date yet. if it works, its because the girl already liked him. so it will have worked in spite of the cookies, not because of the cookies. easier strat, wait until after valentines day, ask her out on a date. no need to overcomplicate things | ||
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dekuschrub
United States2069 Posts
So I met this girl because her friend would always bring her when i would hang out with my tutor group. she is basically exactly my type (we are all medical students btw). We all hang out a few times, and we seemed to really get along. I get her number and we start texting. We keep hanging out mainly as a small group (5-6 dinners, a couple parties, a karaoke night) all of which were really fun and I spend most of the time talking to her at the events. Then there is this little med school dance (basically med school prom). The girl I like asks me to sit by her at the dinner right before. At this point I think I'm totally golden. We pregame and go to dinner and its as usual very fun. After dinner we split up for a bit and I go off and get totally blackout drunk and throw up in my hotel room (none of this she sees or notices my absence). I'm a huge lightweight so fucking sue me Anyway the next week rolls around and I ask her out (via text because im a fraidy cat). She gives me I WANT TO BE FRIENDS AND I LIKE SOMEONE ELSE response. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WTF BBQ anyway.. nothing to do but move on right? | ||
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oDieN[Siege]
United States2905 Posts
On February 14 2014 12:21 dekuschrub wrote: heres a fun one for you guys So I met this girl because her friend would always bring her when i would hang out with my tutor group. she is basically exactly my type (we are all medical students btw). We all hang out a few times, and we seemed to really get along. I get her number and we start texting. We keep hanging out mainly as a small group (5-6 dinners, a couple parties, a karaoke night) all of which were really fun and I spend most of the time talking to her at the events. Then there is this little med school dance (basically med school prom). The girl I like asks me to sit by her at the dinner right before. At this point I think I'm totally golden. We pregame and go to dinner and its as usual very fun. After dinner we split up for a bit and I go off and get totally blackout drunk and throw up in my hotel room (none of this she sees or notices my absence). I'm a huge lightweight so fucking sue me Anyway the next week rolls around and I ask her out (via text because im a fraidy cat). She gives me I WANT TO BE FRIENDS AND I LIKE SOMEONE ELSE response. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WTF BBQ anyway.. nothing to do but move on right? Either she's playing games with you to see how far you'll go to get back into her focus, or she got turned off by you doing piss drunk, and noticed you while you were in this state. I would try texting her to see what's up, and if she still seems to give you the cold, I would say just move on.. | ||
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WombaT
Northern Ireland26018 Posts
Anyway yeah, move on sounds the best plan of action from where I'm standing in that you have kind of put it out there and its not been reciprocated for whatever reasons she might have. | ||
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oDieN[Siege]
United States2905 Posts
If you're in a relationship; This day isn't a big deal. If you're single, It's more like "wahhhh, I'm single, Valentine's Day sucks." Your thoughts? | ||
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Wingblade
United States1806 Posts
On February 14 2014 12:28 oDieN wrote: My Valentine's Day Observation: If you're in a relationship; This day isn't a big deal. If you're single, It's more like "wahhhh, I'm single, Valentine's Day sucks." Your thoughts? What's Valentines Day? I just know I'm excited for Singles Awareness Day tomorrow since I get rejected like it's my job! | ||
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rebdomine
6040 Posts
On February 14 2014 12:28 oDieN wrote: My Valentine's Day Observation: If you're in a relationship; This day isn't a big deal. If you're single, It's more like "wahhhh, I'm single, Valentine's Day sucks." Your thoughts? Depends how long you are into the relationship I guess. The first Valentine's Day with a significant other is a pretty big deal. | ||
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Zooper31
United States5711 Posts
Hopefully I can meet a cool chick haha. Question, cosplaying help my chances or not? It would involve something big covering my entire head lol. Thinking not, unless it's a particular favorite of said girl. | ||
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