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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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LongShot27
United States2084 Posts
On November 27 2013 16:04 TOCHMY wrote: Nobody's a fan of the waiting game... I hate that shit. On that note: Been playing the waiting game for 5 days now with a lovely young woman and it's KILLING ME. I have to for 7 :/ over thanksgiving break, I've been running and working out to keep myself from exploding | ||
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TOCHMY
Sweden1692 Posts
On November 27 2013 16:47 LongShot27 wrote: I have to for 7 :/ over thanksgiving break, I've been running and working out to keep myself from exploding I've been playing guitar non-stop. Literally the only thing that keeps my mind off of her. If you read my half long post a page or two back. I've started thinking, you know, maybe it was just me being more drunk than I remember and picked up false signals, maybe she just wanted to get laid that evening and I blew it, maybe she's not looking for a relationship right now, maybe I mentioned her boyfriend and then she said what she said, what if she thinks I'm too young, what if I said something stupid(which I have a vague memory of doing ["I've always had a secret crush on you"]). Maybe, perhaps, what if. I hate it T_T Back to more guitar. Good thing is I've almost droned through all The Strokes songs. | ||
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LongShot27
United States2084 Posts
On November 27 2013 16:54 TOCHMY wrote: I've been playing guitar non-stop. Literally the only thing that keeps my mind off of her. If you read my half long post a page or two back. I've started thinking, you know, maybe it was just me being more drunk than I remember and picked up false signals, maybe she just wanted to get laid that evening and I blew it, maybe she's not looking for a relationship right now, maybe I mentioned her boyfriend and then she said what she said, what if she thinks I'm too young, what if I said something stupid(which I have a vague memory of doing ["I've always had a secret crush on you"]). Maybe, perhaps, what if. I hate it T_T Back to more guitar. Good thing is I've almost droned through all The Strokes songs. Oh you have a scumbag ADHD brain too? So this one got dumped like a month ago, and I was like "well that's my shot" and gave it like 2-3 weeks to settle over. But she's all depressed so when I asked her out she went with "I'm going through a lot of stuff right now" which I can deal with. But in the back of brain it's like "Oh she was just being nice and didn't want to hurt your feelings." And I cant make it go away without exhausting myself. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On November 27 2013 17:05 LongShot27 wrote: Oh you have a scumbag ADHD brain too? So this one got dumped like a month ago, and I was like "well that's my shot" and gave it like 2-3 weeks to settle over. But she's all depressed so when I asked her out she went with "I'm going through a lot of stuff right now" which I can deal with. But in the back of brain it's like "Oh she was just being nice and didn't want to hurt your feelings." And I cant make it go away without exhausting myself. If she really liked you she would jump on the opportunity to make her ex jealous. She desperately wants to get back with him at this point and you don't seem like an upgrade to her. | ||
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LongShot27
United States2084 Posts
On November 27 2013 17:15 IgnE wrote: If she really liked you she would jump on the opportunity to make her ex jealous. She desperately wants to get back with him at this point and you don't seem like an upgrade to her. Guess I'll just have to find out | ||
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MysteryMeat1
United States3292 Posts
Its a longshot but go for it!!!  | ||
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Sedzz
Australia391 Posts
I just wanted some quick advice. I have absolutely no problem talking to women about almost anything, I have no problem approaching them or striking up a conversation, bla bla. I really feel like it's time for me to experience a proper relationship (not just high school shit/f-buddies). I work in a really good job (sales role) and I get to meet a lot of different women and I am pretty much forced into talking to them in the first place (which is really good ^_^). I feel I am pretty good at reading body language and most times I can tell when and if a girl is interested, here's the problem; I can't really close. I'm not sure if it's because I think I enjoy the hunt more than the prey per sei, but I will either just flat out neglect her advances or her hints and not ask her for a number or a name etc, or I will just kinda let her walk off and not say anything and think; damn that could've gone somewhere. What do you guys think? | ||
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Impervious
Canada4211 Posts
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TOCHMY
Sweden1692 Posts
On November 27 2013 21:08 Sedzz wrote: Hey guys, I just wanted some quick advice. I have absolutely no problem talking to women about almost anything, I have no problem approaching them or striking up a conversation, bla bla. I really feel like it's time for me to experience a proper relationship (not just high school shit/f-buddies). I work in a really good job (sales role) and I get to meet a lot of different women and I am pretty much forced into talking to them in the first place (which is really good ^_^). I feel I am pretty good at reading body language and most times I can tell when and if a girl is interested, here's the problem; I can't really close. I'm not sure if it's because I think I enjoy the hunt more than the prey per sei, but I will either just flat out neglect her advances or her hints and not ask her for a number or a name etc, or I will just kinda let her walk off and not say anything and think; damn that could've gone somewhere. What do you guys think? You gotta just do it. + Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://media.tumblr.com/ef6d04c6cce921c0866f58cc6e516a99/tumblr_inline_mmsx4yboeZ1qz4rgp.gif) | ||
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Killscreen
188 Posts
On November 27 2013 21:08 Sedzz wrote: Hey guys, I just wanted some quick advice. I have absolutely no problem talking to women about almost anything, I have no problem approaching them or striking up a conversation, bla bla. I really feel like it's time for me to experience a proper relationship (not just high school shit/f-buddies). I work in a really good job (sales role) and I get to meet a lot of different women and I am pretty much forced into talking to them in the first place (which is really good ^_^). I feel I am pretty good at reading body language and most times I can tell when and if a girl is interested, here's the problem; I can't really close. I'm not sure if it's because I think I enjoy the hunt more than the prey per sei, but I will either just flat out neglect her advances or her hints and not ask her for a number or a name etc, or I will just kinda let her walk off and not say anything and think; damn that could've gone somewhere. What do you guys think? Do those situations with women make you uncomfortable? Do you think maybe, on a subconscious level, you are afraid of being rejected? I think we all are on one level or another, but the only way to conquer fear is to acknowledge it and act anyway. Do not invent bullshit, ego-protecting rationalizations that keep you from addressing the problem. | ||
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Mentalizor
Denmark1596 Posts
The girl: + Show Spoiler + So a friend of mine got a new girlfriend (yay  !) However, he celebrated by getting drunk and making out with another girl... One week later he ends up kissing the same girl again - we'll call her... Francine. Asks me if I want to come visit the bar at his university - mostly to keep her away/keep him from doing stupid shit, when he's drunk. I end up talking to her. She's nice. We add eachother on facebook and I get her number. We text furiously (3000+ texts in ~2months). Start to meet up when we're drunk (nothing happens - strictly friendly). Starts to hang out sober aswell. Two weeks ago she invites me to a party, where we end up kissing --> take a taxi to my place --> agree we're too drunk for sex to even make sence, but do all sort of weird shit instead. Fast forward one weekend, I'm at another party right next to her - with the friend I mentioned at the very start. I tell her I'm sleeping at her place (confidence is my bitch, son!), but she's already on her way to bed. I tell her to join the party then - really want to see her. She shows up. We dance and I try to kiss her again. She tells me "not tonight, please don't take it personally"... So ofc I take it personally... Drunk dial her at 5am - "What's wrong with you? Why would you say no?"... She tells me, she's not sure about us. Last weekend ment a lot and we're most definately not JUST friends anymore. But if we're anymore, we shouldn't rush anything. So... I give her time... Thursday (5 days later), I'm at a party. Some girl from my class is seriously hitting on me. I go drunk text Francise about our situation - 'cuz if we're not going to be a thing, I'd might aswell screw the girl at the party. Francine gets upset. We're not talking for 2 days. So I end up texting her, we go out - everything seems cool. We talk about the situation and she's still all "we COULD become a thing, but let's give it time". The pros: + Show Spoiler + She's funny, she's intelligent, she's beautiful - and what is somewhat scary: She's suffering from depression - which I am too. I've been in a relationship 7+years with a girl, who never understood how I felt. The cons: + Show Spoiler + I feel like a shit friend towards my man, who introduced me to her in order to "keep her away" from him... And next thing you know, I want to date her. She's indecisive and is taking forever to make up her mind. She's dropping small hints, but I'm too afraid to make a move on it. The situation: + Show Spoiler + So apparently we have the potential to become "a thing". And I'd like that... But I'm afraid she's just stalling to tell me 'no' in the end anyway? This weekend I'm going to two different parties. One with the girl from my own university, who hit aggresively on me earlier - and another party with a girl, that I've been with every single time, we've been drunk together. I feel like an idiot if I say no to those girls - just for Francine to potentially tell me 'no' later? | ||
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Amestir
Netherlands2126 Posts
On November 27 2013 22:39 Mentalizor wrote: Trainwreck-Mentalizor is back in need of a tip or two: The girl: + Show Spoiler + So a friend of mine got a new girlfriend (yay !) However, he celebrated by getting drunk and making out with another girl... One week later he ends up kissing the same girl again - we'll call her... Francine. Asks me if I want to come visit the bar at his university - mostly to keep her away/keep him from doing stupid shit, when he's drunk. I end up talking to her. She's nice. We add eachother on facebook and I get her number. We text furiously (3000+ texts in ~2months). Start to meet up when we're drunk (nothing happens - strictly friendly). Starts to hang out sober aswell. Two weeks ago she invites me to a party, where we end up kissing --> take a taxi to my place --> agree we're too drunk for sex to even make sence, but do all sort of weird shit instead. Fast forward one weekend, I'm at another party right next to her - with the friend I mentioned at the very start. I tell her I'm sleeping at her place (confidence is my bitch, son!), but she's already on her way to bed. I tell her to join the party then - really want to see her. She shows up. We dance and I try to kiss her again. She tells me "not tonight, please don't take it personally"... So ofc I take it personally... Drunk dial her at 5am - "What's wrong with you? Why would you say no?"... She tells me, she's not sure about us. Last weekend ment a lot and we're most definately not JUST friends anymore. But if we're anymore, we shouldn't rush anything. So... I give her time... Thursday (5 days later), I'm at a party. Some girl from my class is seriously hitting on me. I go drunk text Francise about our situation - 'cuz if we're not going to be a thing, I'd might aswell screw the girl at the party. Francine gets upset. We're not talking for 2 days. So I end up texting her, we go out - everything seems cool. We talk about the situation and she's still all "we COULD become a thing, but let's give it time". The pros: + Show Spoiler + She's funny, she's intelligent, she's beautiful - and what is somewhat scary: She's suffering from depression - which I am too. I've been in a relationship 7+years with a girl, who never understood how I felt. The cons: + Show Spoiler + I feel like a shit friend towards my man, who introduced me to her in order to "keep her away" from him... And next thing you know, I want to date her. She's indecisive and is taking forever to make up her mind. She's dropping small hints, but I'm too afraid to make a move on it. The situation: + Show Spoiler + So apparently we have the potential to become "a thing". And I'd like that... But I'm afraid she's just stalling to tell me 'no' in the end anyway? This weekend I'm going to two different parties. One with the girl from my own university, who hit aggresively on me earlier - and another party with a girl, that I've been with every single time, we've been drunk together. I feel like an idiot if I say no to those girls - just for Francine to potentially tell me 'no' later? First of all I wouldn't worry about your male friend. Dating her / becoming a thing is a perfect way to keep her away from him, isn't it? Second, it seems like she is stalling. Not to be rude, but your story isn't overflowing with passion for this girl, so why wait? I'm sure agressively hitting university chick is smart and pretty too. | ||
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Killscreen
188 Posts
On November 27 2013 22:39 Mentalizor wrote: Trainwreck-Mentalizor is back in need of a tip or two: The girl: + Show Spoiler + So a friend of mine got a new girlfriend (yay !) However, he celebrated by getting drunk and making out with another girl... One week later he ends up kissing the same girl again - we'll call her... Francine. Asks me if I want to come visit the bar at his university - mostly to keep her away/keep him from doing stupid shit, when he's drunk. I end up talking to her. She's nice. We add eachother on facebook and I get her number. We text furiously (3000+ texts in ~2months). Start to meet up when we're drunk (nothing happens - strictly friendly). Starts to hang out sober aswell. Two weeks ago she invites me to a party, where we end up kissing --> take a taxi to my place --> agree we're too drunk for sex to even make sence, but do all sort of weird shit instead. Fast forward one weekend, I'm at another party right next to her - with the friend I mentioned at the very start. I tell her I'm sleeping at her place (confidence is my bitch, son!), but she's already on her way to bed. I tell her to join the party then - really want to see her. She shows up. We dance and I try to kiss her again. She tells me "not tonight, please don't take it personally"... So ofc I take it personally... Drunk dial her at 5am - "What's wrong with you? Why would you say no?"... She tells me, she's not sure about us. Last weekend ment a lot and we're most definately not JUST friends anymore. But if we're anymore, we shouldn't rush anything. So... I give her time... Thursday (5 days later), I'm at a party. Some girl from my class is seriously hitting on me. I go drunk text Francise about our situation - 'cuz if we're not going to be a thing, I'd might aswell screw the girl at the party. Francine gets upset. We're not talking for 2 days. So I end up texting her, we go out - everything seems cool. We talk about the situation and she's still all "we COULD become a thing, but let's give it time". The pros: + Show Spoiler + She's funny, she's intelligent, she's beautiful - and what is somewhat scary: She's suffering from depression - which I am too. I've been in a relationship 7+years with a girl, who never understood how I felt. The cons: + Show Spoiler + I feel like a shit friend towards my man, who introduced me to her in order to "keep her away" from him... And next thing you know, I want to date her. She's indecisive and is taking forever to make up her mind. She's dropping small hints, but I'm too afraid to make a move on it. The situation: + Show Spoiler + So apparently we have the potential to become "a thing". And I'd like that... But I'm afraid she's just stalling to tell me 'no' in the end anyway? This weekend I'm going to two different parties. One with the girl from my own university, who hit aggresively on me earlier - and another party with a girl, that I've been with every single time, we've been drunk together. I feel like an idiot if I say no to those girls - just for Francine to potentially tell me 'no' later? I try to avoid replying to "So theres this one girl.." posts, because for one thing even though you've explained the situation pretty honestly I still have no idea what type of person you or this girl are. In addition, when you've reached the point where you're asking for advice about a specific woman usually you've become too invested in this particular girl and have an emotional attachment to the outcome, which is generally not good. With that caveat,I will say forget her and pursue your other options. She sounds like a drama queen, and even though misery loves company, that doesn't mean that two depressed people are right for each other. Pursue your other options, and you never know, she might come running. People tend to value things based on how available they are, so consider not being so available to her. Realize that you don't have to put up with that drama. If she doesn't come running, thems the breaks, and at least you have avoided a potential conflict with your friend | ||
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Mentalizor
Denmark1596 Posts
On November 27 2013 22:53 Amestir wrote: First of all I wouldn't worry about your male friend. Dating her / becoming a thing is a perfect way to keep her away from him, isn't it? Second, it seems like she is stalling. Not to be rude, but your story isn't overflowing with passion for this girl, so why wait? I'm sure agressively hitting university chick is smart and pretty too. 1: Well... I actually talked to him about it and he shared your opinion. But the two of us (guys) hang out a ton. And I don't know how I'd like to hang around the girl I messed up with, when my girlfriend is around? But yeah, my friend is actually a fan of me doing something about it. 2: She is But she'd be 100% sex... However, Francine is... Well, I'm not too commited yet - but I really have a feeling I COULD fall in love with her... hard...On November 27 2013 23:27 Killscreen wrote: ... She sounds like a drama queen, and even though misery loves company, that doesn't mean that two depressed people are right for each other. ...) ...Well, that's one of the things she's obviously worried about. I think it's a good thing - she really doesn't. No sure way to tell, I guess? | ||
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Sedzz
Australia391 Posts
On November 27 2013 21:17 Killscreen wrote: Do those situations with women make you uncomfortable? Do you think maybe, on a subconscious level, you are afraid of being rejected? I think we all are on one level or another, but the only way to conquer fear is to acknowledge it and act anyway. Do not invent bullshit, ego-protecting rationalizations that keep you from addressing the problem. Yeah I think you're right. I should just go for it. They don't make me uncomfortable, maybe I am more afraid of rejection than I realise, so I think you address the problem by saying it happens on a subconscious level. I should just do it. | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On November 27 2013 22:39 Mentalizor wrote: Trainwreck-Mentalizor is back in need of a tip or two: The girl: + Show Spoiler + So a friend of mine got a new girlfriend (yay !) However, he celebrated by getting drunk and making out with another girl... One week later he ends up kissing the same girl again - we'll call her... Francine. Asks me if I want to come visit the bar at his university - mostly to keep her away/keep him from doing stupid shit, when he's drunk. I end up talking to her. She's nice. We add eachother on facebook and I get her number. We text furiously (3000+ texts in ~2months). Start to meet up when we're drunk (nothing happens - strictly friendly). Starts to hang out sober aswell. Two weeks ago she invites me to a party, where we end up kissing --> take a taxi to my place --> agree we're too drunk for sex to even make sence, but do all sort of weird shit instead. Fast forward one weekend, I'm at another party right next to her - with the friend I mentioned at the very start. I tell her I'm sleeping at her place (confidence is my bitch, son!), but she's already on her way to bed. I tell her to join the party then - really want to see her. She shows up. We dance and I try to kiss her again. She tells me "not tonight, please don't take it personally"... So ofc I take it personally... Drunk dial her at 5am - "What's wrong with you? Why would you say no?"... She tells me, she's not sure about us. Last weekend ment a lot and we're most definately not JUST friends anymore. But if we're anymore, we shouldn't rush anything. So... I give her time... Thursday (5 days later), I'm at a party. Some girl from my class is seriously hitting on me. I go drunk text Francise about our situation - 'cuz if we're not going to be a thing, I'd might aswell screw the girl at the party. Francine gets upset. We're not talking for 2 days. So I end up texting her, we go out - everything seems cool. We talk about the situation and she's still all "we COULD become a thing, but let's give it time". The pros: + Show Spoiler + She's funny, she's intelligent, she's beautiful - and what is somewhat scary: She's suffering from depression - which I am too. I've been in a relationship 7+years with a girl, who never understood how I felt. The cons: + Show Spoiler + I feel like a shit friend towards my man, who introduced me to her in order to "keep her away" from him... And next thing you know, I want to date her. She's indecisive and is taking forever to make up her mind. She's dropping small hints, but I'm too afraid to make a move on it. The situation: + Show Spoiler + So apparently we have the potential to become "a thing". And I'd like that... But I'm afraid she's just stalling to tell me 'no' in the end anyway? This weekend I'm going to two different parties. One with the girl from my own university, who hit aggresively on me earlier - and another party with a girl, that I've been with every single time, we've been drunk together. I feel like an idiot if I say no to those girls - just for Francine to potentially tell me 'no' later? If you want to have something with Mrs Francine you need to punch through her wall of bullshit. "We *could* become a thing, but let's give it time" is complete bullshit. She knows it's bullshit. But she also thinks it's her best possible option, especially since you don't seem to know it's bullshit. Why is it bullshit? She knows she's into you. She knows you're into her. You know the same things the other way around. Like every single person on this planet she's afraid. Maybe, just mabye, she's a little more afraid than your average gal because of her history. Now, for you the why and how are completely irrelevant. Maybe you'll figure it out eventually or she'll tell you, maybe not. What it means right now is that you need to recognize what's going on: She's afraid of potentially giving you (emotional) control over the situation if she just straight up says "yes". Frame/Mindset: You know you're into each other. You understand that she's afraid of committing to something she might regret in the future and you believe life is too short to chase "maybes". That's the kind of attitude you need in dealing with her. Basically assume that the only reasons for her hesitation have nothing to do with you or what's going on between you. It's actually not personal. Worst possible case: Honest bomb (among the lines "I understand you're afraid of taking this any further because you might get hurt and I'm afraid that you being afraid might hurt me if I stick around too long." aka "look babe, we're all scared let's be scared together"). Pretty sure you'll see if it clicks with her, if it does escalate as usual. DON'T: Keep the current "uh I'm not so sure" up. While you want the ball of defining your relationship in her court (good) you want the question of having one in the first place in yours. To put it bluntly it's your job to make sure you're into each other and it's her job to define where exactly that's gonna lead. Do your job a bit better and then it's her turn. Keep in mind that the recommendations above are deep, deep rapport building. What this means in practice is that you need to make sure that there's enough sexual attraction between you two to pull those kind of cards. I'm only recommending this in the first place because that department looks alright. Kind of. Actual sex and/or make-outs before this kind of thing would be beneficial but welp, what can you do. PS: Stop drinking so much. Talk to your buddy about whether she's up for grabs if you value his friendship. Figure out a way to meet with her at a place where you can escalate physically before starting anything with new girls. If she leaves you unsure and that leads to you screwing with other girls it must mean that her being cautious was the correct behavior since apparently you weren't into her in the first place. That this very behavior is making you want to screw other girls isn't a possibility she has genuinely considered. PPS: If this results in an actual relationship you guys both will need lots of work. Big topic would be "Power dynamics in relationships", I'm pretty sure that you'll both try and find ways to unconsciously screw each other. =P | ||
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LongShot27
United States2084 Posts
On November 27 2013 22:39 Mentalizor wrote: Trainwreck-Mentalizor is back in need of a tip or two: The girl: + Show Spoiler + So a friend of mine got a new girlfriend (yay !) However, he celebrated by getting drunk and making out with another girl... One week later he ends up kissing the same girl again - we'll call her... Francine. Asks me if I want to come visit the bar at his university - mostly to keep her away/keep him from doing stupid shit, when he's drunk. I end up talking to her. She's nice. We add eachother on facebook and I get her number. We text furiously (3000+ texts in ~2months). Start to meet up when we're drunk (nothing happens - strictly friendly). Starts to hang out sober aswell. Two weeks ago she invites me to a party, where we end up kissing --> take a taxi to my place --> agree we're too drunk for sex to even make sence, but do all sort of weird shit instead. Fast forward one weekend, I'm at another party right next to her - with the friend I mentioned at the very start. I tell her I'm sleeping at her place (confidence is my bitch, son!), but she's already on her way to bed. I tell her to join the party then - really want to see her. She shows up. We dance and I try to kiss her again. She tells me "not tonight, please don't take it personally"... So ofc I take it personally... Drunk dial her at 5am - "What's wrong with you? Why would you say no?"... She tells me, she's not sure about us. Last weekend ment a lot and we're most definately not JUST friends anymore. But if we're anymore, we shouldn't rush anything. So... I give her time... Thursday (5 days later), I'm at a party. Some girl from my class is seriously hitting on me. I go drunk text Francise about our situation - 'cuz if we're not going to be a thing, I'd might aswell screw the girl at the party. Francine gets upset. We're not talking for 2 days. So I end up texting her, we go out - everything seems cool. We talk about the situation and she's still all "we COULD become a thing, but let's give it time". The pros: + Show Spoiler + She's funny, she's intelligent, she's beautiful - and what is somewhat scary: She's suffering from depression - which I am too. I've been in a relationship 7+years with a girl, who never understood how I felt. The cons: + Show Spoiler + I feel like a shit friend towards my man, who introduced me to her in order to "keep her away" from him... And next thing you know, I want to date her. She's indecisive and is taking forever to make up her mind. She's dropping small hints, but I'm too afraid to make a move on it. The situation: + Show Spoiler + So apparently we have the potential to become "a thing". And I'd like that... But I'm afraid she's just stalling to tell me 'no' in the end anyway? This weekend I'm going to two different parties. One with the girl from my own university, who hit aggresively on me earlier - and another party with a girl, that I've been with every single time, we've been drunk together. I feel like an idiot if I say no to those girls - just for Francine to potentially tell me 'no' later? If she needs a bit of time give her, her space (Im not talking like months here) If she's worth it you can wait a few more days. If she isn't, problem solved. I'm in a similar situation and I know waiting really flippin' sucks but its all you can do. Go run a few dozen miles to get your mind off it. | ||
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raga4ka
Bulgaria5679 Posts
There is a colleague girl i really like since 2 years ago . Back then i asked her out and made my intentions clear that i like her , but she had a serious relationship with her boyfriend for 2 years already that i didn't know about . She told me after we went out on facebook . So i said to myself that i had no place meddling in her relationship when she is happy . I just maintained a friendly relationship and chat with her from time to time on facebook and when we were at the medical university ( we study pharmacy - last year right now ) . It's all fine and dandy i got over her or so i thought and started going out with other women on dates ... But at this last medical party at the local disco , where she was there with a lot of our colleagues 2 weeks from now , friends colleagues from my group told me that she broke with her boyfriend this summer . Back then i was borderline wasted with alcohol ( rakia and whisky does that to you) , but i got sober fast after i assimilated the information and started flirting with her , got her on the dancing floor with me and after that gave her a red rose which some woman there was selling . She is now taunting me with a picture of her and the rose i gave her as her profile picture in facebook . After the disco i couldn't sleep or eat properly for several days thinking about her , so first i went to a close friend of mine and hers and comfirmed that she did in fact after 4 years break her relationship with her boyfriend this summer . After that i asked her out 2 times and she seems willing to go out with me, but she can't find the time because of heavy commitment in both the university and work in a pharmacy store . I study and work a lot too , but obviously am willing to free my time for her . So my question is should i push for something to happen sooner rather then later when we go out , or should i not rush so fast and wait for better trust between us to develop , although on surface we know each other rather well at this point ? I've never had an actual relationship with a girl so this things are puzzling to me . I am your typical "nice" guy that respects women and compliments them when i find the opportunity , rather then the "bad" boy type that shows less respect and probably lies at first ( dun know how it works) to get the girl to fall for him . Anyway she is similar to me in character , but to the extreme : I wouldn't call her shy but rather a modest girl , which is hard working and also pretty . On paper our religion differ i am christian and she is a muslim (I think it's only our traditions and holidays that differ) , both bulgarians . I don't mind our religion differentials obviously , but it does make it rather difficult in how i approach her . She doesn't smoke , drink alcohol and i think she doesn't eat pork as well . And thats about all i know about her , other then where she is from , some small taste preference in music and films she told me she likes to watch . She is not the type which has an active night life even though she goes out with friends from time to time in a club or disco . Does she like me ? I have no idea ... She always seems sweet when i talk with her , but never actually writes me on facebook ( she rarely visits it because of work and school) , or starts talking to me in real life . She does seem willing to go out with me and i'll try my best to make something happen . Any advice on this walls of text i just wrote ? | ||
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LongShot27
United States2084 Posts
On November 28 2013 03:37 raga4ka wrote: Might as well post here , because i am as clueless as ever ... There is a colleague girl i really like since 2 years ago . Back then i asked her out and made my intentions clear that i like her , but she had a serious relationship with her boyfriend for 2 years already that i didn't know about . She told me after we went out on facebook . So i said to myself that i had no place meddling in her relationship when she is happy . I just maintained a friendly relationship and chat with her from time to time on facebook and when we were at the medical university ( we study pharmacy - last year right now ) . It's all fine and dandy i got over her or so i thought and started going out with other women on dates ... But at this last medical party at the local disco , where she was there with a lot of our colleagues 2 weeks from now , friends colleagues from my group told me that she broke with her boyfriend this summer . Back then i was borderline wasted will alcohol ( rakia and whisky does that to you) , but i got sober fast after i assimilated the information and started flirting with her , got her on the dancing floor with me and after that gave her a red rose which some women there was selling . She is now taunting me with a picture of her and the rose i gave her as her profile picture in facebook . After the disco i couldn't sleep or eat properly for several days thinking about her , so first i went to a close friend of mine and hers and comfirmed that she did in fact after 4 years break her relationship with her boyfriend this summer . After that i asked her out 2 times and she seems willing to go out with me, but she can't find the time because of heavy commitment in both the university and work in a pharmacy store . I study and work a lot too , but obviously am willing to free my time for her . So my question is should i push for something to happen sooner rather then later when we go out , or should i not rush so fast and wait for better trust between us to develop , although on surface we know each other rather well at this point ? I've never had an actual relationship with a girl so this things are puzzling to me . I am your typical "nice" guy that respects women and compliments them when i find the opportunity , rather then the "bad" boy type that shows less respect and and probably lies at first ( dun know how it works) to get the girl to fall for him . Anyway she is similar to me in character , but to the extreme : I wouldn't call her shy but rather a modest girl , which is hard working and also pretty . On paper our religion differ i am christian and she is a muslim (I think it's only our traditions and holidays that differ) , both bulgarians . I don't mind our religion differentials obviously , but it does make it rather difficult in how i approach her . She doesn't smoke , drink alcohol and i think she doesn't eat pork as well . And thats about all i know about her , other then where she is from , some small taste preference in music and films she told me she likes to watch . She is not the type which has an active night life even though she goes out with friends from time to time in a club or disco . Does she like me ? I have no idea ... She always seems sweet when i talk with her , but never actually writes me on facebook ( she rarely visits it because of work and school) , or starts talking to me in real life . She does seem willing to go out with me and i'll try my best to make something happen . Any advice on this walls of text i just wrote ? Man up and go for it. That's what I did. If you get burned oh well. If you don't then good on you. Do it man. Do it. | ||
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raga4ka
Bulgaria5679 Posts
On November 28 2013 03:46 LongShot27 wrote: Man up and go for it. That's what I did. If you get burned oh well. If you don't then good on you. Do it man. Do it. Well it's not that i am hesitating or anything , it's just thoughts that cross my mind in this grueling times when we are in "no man's land" still negotiating to go out . Well a lot of questions will be answered on the 8th of december when we are on holiday together anyway , but i want to go out with her at least once before that ... | ||
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