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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Holgerius
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Sweden16951 Posts
November 25 2013 15:32 GMT
#6461
Been in a relationship for the past six months, which is ridiculously uncharacteristic for me. I've had several of long term partners in a strictly physical sense, but this is completely different and new to me. I'm madly in love in a way I never previously allowed myself to be. You know, not just teenage-style hormones or whatever, but actual I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you type of love. I've always had this idea that my... uhm, I guess weirdness would be the proper word here (no need to go into a deep explanation, let's just say I'm a bit of an odd-ball XD) would prevent me from sustaining a happy and successful relationship, but this woman not only accepts me for who I am, she appreciates me for it. We've known each other for about four years (I've had a crush on her since the first day I met her, and while we fornicated at several points in time and enjoyed many a wonderful moment during those three and a half years before we got serious, things never took off for various reasons until this year), so we know each other quite well at this point, and I can safely say that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her.
I believe in the almighty Grötslev! -- I am never serious and you should never believe a thing I say. Including the previous sentence.
freelander
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
Hungary4707 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-25 15:53:30
November 25 2013 15:51 GMT
#6462
Like 10 days ago at Friday, there was this suit-up party for freshmen at my university, I saw this cute girl across the dancefloor, she gave me a long look and a halfsmile. There was quite a mass at the floor, I lost sight of her.
Then a bit later I saw her next to the cloakroom, she and her friend were leaving. I approached, I totally locked out her friend, we talked for a few minutes, I got her number, they left.
I called her next day, we agreed to meet on Monday.
A few hours before the meeting she sent me a text that something came up and she cant meet me that day, but she'd gladly meet me some other time. I replied with some lame joke and that I would call her some time. And this was a week ago.

I guess I will call her today. I was kinda busy, and a bit disappointed that she flaked me so I ignored her for a week.

One can't just NOT contribute to this thread!
And all is illuminated.
freelander
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
Hungary4707 Posts
November 25 2013 15:52 GMT
#6463
On November 26 2013 00:32 Holgerius wrote:
Been in a relationship for the past six months, which is ridiculously uncharacteristic for me. I've had several of long term partners in a strictly physical sense, but this is completely different and new to me. I'm madly in love in a way I never previously allowed myself to be. You know, not just teenage-style hormones or whatever, but actual I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you type of love. I've always had this idea that my... uhm, I guess weirdness would be the proper word here (no need to go into a deep explanation, let's just say I'm a bit of an odd-ball XD) would prevent me from sustaining a happy and successful relationship, but this woman not only accepts me for who I am, she appreciates me for it. We've known each other for about four years (I've had a crush on her since the first day I met her, and while we fornicated at several points in time and enjoyed many a wonderful moment during those three and a half years before we got serious, things never took off for various reasons until this year), so we know each other quite well at this point, and I can safely say that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her.


nice, man. Keep up.
And all is illuminated.
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
November 25 2013 23:56 GMT
#6464
I've known this girl for the past month or so. She's a bit of a flake. Getting kind of fed up with it, invited her to go get lunch tomorrow. If she doesn't respond i'm gonna do what i probably shoulda done and delete her number from my phone.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
November 26 2013 00:33 GMT
#6465
On November 26 2013 00:51 freelander wrote:
Like 10 days ago at Friday, there was this suit-up party for freshmen at my university, I saw this cute girl across the dancefloor, she gave me a long look and a halfsmile. There was quite a mass at the floor, I lost sight of her.
Then a bit later I saw her next to the cloakroom, she and her friend were leaving. I approached, I totally locked out her friend, we talked for a few minutes, I got her number, they left.
I called her next day, we agreed to meet on Monday.
A few hours before the meeting she sent me a text that something came up and she cant meet me that day, but she'd gladly meet me some other time. I replied with some lame joke and that I would call her some time. And this was a week ago.

I guess I will call her today. I was kinda busy, and a bit disappointed that she flaked me so I ignored her for a week.

One can't just NOT contribute to this thread!


That was dumb of you.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
LongShot27
Profile Joined May 2013
United States2084 Posts
November 26 2013 23:59 GMT
#6466
I asked this girl I have class with if she wanted to go out and she said "like a date?" I said "yeah." I got a "Put me down for a maybe, I'm dealing with a lot of stuff, we'll talk about it next week". All things considered I think that it went pretty well, but I've also never asked a chick out before (I'm nearly 23, Yeah I know)
If all men were created equal there would be no reason to declare it.
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5710 Posts
November 27 2013 00:03 GMT
#6467
She turned you down sadly, just trying to be nice about it obviously. Just keep trying, practice makes perfect, especially when it comes to asking girls out and how you handle yourself around them.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
LongShot27
Profile Joined May 2013
United States2084 Posts
November 27 2013 00:12 GMT
#6468
Didn't seem like it, she seems genuinely interested, not gonna give up after 5 minutes
If all men were created equal there would be no reason to declare it.
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5710 Posts
November 27 2013 00:19 GMT
#6469
Sure try again next week, hope it goes better!
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
November 27 2013 01:38 GMT
#6470
On November 27 2013 08:59 LongShot27 wrote:
I asked this girl I have class with if she wanted to go out and she said "like a date?" I said "yeah." I got a "Put me down for a maybe, I'm dealing with a lot of stuff, we'll talk about it next week". All things considered I think that it went pretty well, but I've also never asked a chick out before (I'm nearly 23, Yeah I know)

You jumped out of your comfort zone. Now all that's needed is to keep doing it. =)

Well played, Sir!
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland25445 Posts
November 27 2013 02:23 GMT
#6471
I wouldn't worry about the 'I'm x age and have never asked a girl out.' thing

I was something of a late bloomer in that extent and used my early adolescent years to pursue such standard and fun pursuits as gaming and music. Make use of your youth and the relative lack of external responsibilities. You're not necessarily going to get that chance again.

Having a fulfilling relationship isn't a matter of practice makes perfect either. You can fall into something with someone that just works with no prior relationships and of course vice versa
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44368 Posts
November 27 2013 02:34 GMT
#6472
On November 26 2013 00:51 freelander wrote:
Like 10 days ago at Friday, there was this suit-up party for freshmen at my university, I saw this cute girl across the dancefloor, she gave me a long look and a halfsmile. There was quite a mass at the floor, I lost sight of her.
Then a bit later I saw her next to the cloakroom, she and her friend were leaving. I approached, I totally locked out her friend, we talked for a few minutes, I got her number, they left.
I called her next day, we agreed to meet on Monday.
A few hours before the meeting she sent me a text that something came up and she cant meet me that day, but she'd gladly meet me some other time. I replied with some lame joke and that I would call her some time. And this was a week ago.

I guess I will call her today. I was kinda busy, and a bit disappointed that she flaked me so I ignored her for a week.

One can't just NOT contribute to this thread!


You blew her off on purpose to get revenge on a girl who honestly had to deal with something else in her life? She said she'd be happy to reschedule with you. That's pretty douchey of you.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44368 Posts
November 27 2013 02:39 GMT
#6473
On November 27 2013 08:59 LongShot27 wrote:
I asked this girl I have class with if she wanted to go out and she said "like a date?" I said "yeah." I got a "Put me down for a maybe, I'm dealing with a lot of stuff, we'll talk about it next week". All things considered I think that it went pretty well, but I've also never asked a chick out before (I'm nearly 23, Yeah I know)


Well done It's really hard to take that first step! Hopefully it goes well when you talk about it further with her!

If it doesn't though, it's important to note that sometimes people really are just overwhelmed with their other stuff at the moment... getting turned down doesn't always mean you're an unattractive person lol. I know many a person who felt bad turning down a really great guy or girl just because they currently have too much on their plate. It's their loss.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Shotcoder
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2316 Posts
November 27 2013 03:33 GMT
#6474
Last week I asked a girl from another department if she was single last friday, got a smile and politely shot down...Talked to her again today she told me I should have asked her a week before that , her answer would have been different then. I fucking hate my life sometimes. Always this fucking close.
Shotcoder - C+ BW Terran, Gold LoL(ADC Main)
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
November 27 2013 04:11 GMT
#6475
Who goes from willing to date to completely monogamous in one week?
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
November 27 2013 04:15 GMT
#6476
Almost everyone.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
LongShot27
Profile Joined May 2013
United States2084 Posts
November 27 2013 04:30 GMT
#6477
Yeah I suppose so, I'm just not a fan of the waiting game x.x
If all men were created equal there would be no reason to declare it.
Shotcoder
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2316 Posts
November 27 2013 05:12 GMT
#6478
On November 27 2013 13:11 IgnE wrote:
Who goes from willing to date to completely monogamous in one week?


Idk if it's completely monogamous, but I know if I start talking to a girl I tend to not talk to other girls as if I'm interested like I would normally. So it didn't really catch me too off guard.
Shotcoder - C+ BW Terran, Gold LoL(ADC Main)
LongShot27
Profile Joined May 2013
United States2084 Posts
November 27 2013 05:26 GMT
#6479
On November 27 2013 12:33 Shotcoder wrote:
Last week I asked a girl from another department if she was single last friday, got a smile and politely shot down...Talked to her again today she told me I should have asked her a week before that , her answer would have been different then. I fucking hate my life sometimes. Always this fucking close.


Someone who thinks like that probably isn't a great choice, just sayin'
If all men were created equal there would be no reason to declare it.
TOCHMY
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Sweden1692 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-27 07:31:40
November 27 2013 07:04 GMT
#6480
On November 27 2013 13:30 LongShot27 wrote:
Yeah I suppose so, I'm just not a fan of the waiting game x.x


Nobody's a fan of the waiting game... I hate that shit.

On that note: Been playing the waiting game for 5 days now with a lovely young woman and it's KILLING ME.

Yoona <3 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Look! It's Totoro! ☉.☉☂
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