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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?
And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery.
What do you mean by tutorial?
I think her explaining it in the email makes it less weird than completely ignoring how she got your name/email because then she's at least acknowledging it isn't normal behavior hopefully meaning it's atypical of her. At the same time I'd be worried that she has somehow obtained your signature and found your mailbox (did she follow you home after class?).
On November 22 2013 07:19 rivurivurivurivu wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2013 07:17 r.Evo wrote:On November 22 2013 07:14 rivurivurivurivu wrote:On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?
And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery. it isnt weird, maybe she is shy or something like that, all depends what does the email was for. talk or homework? Question: if you try to get a girls number and she says: I take yours instead. is that a good or bad sign ? bad right ?  Very bad. Not even sure how to recover from that besides joking about whether that means she wants to get rid of you when you thought you two would be together for the rest of your lives. Just make her type it into your phone next time. =P fck im sad now. i will cheese a bit in ladder now... ty
Did she not text you so you got her number as well?
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On November 22 2013 07:18 SixStrings wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2013 07:12 r.Evo wrote:
I'd throw in a stalker joke and mention that he could have just... you know... talked to me instead but besides those 1-2 sentences I'd give a proper answer. If she flips out about it, run.
Sure it's strange/creepy but at least for me that wouldn't be a complete no-go. I'd just have my antennae out and be a bit careful at first. Fully explaining it and not taking it light-hearted is the way to go if you want nothing to do with her tho. =P She explained it, not me. She also neglected to mention how she knows where I live, but one step at a time. Definitely interesting.
oh LOL I misread that.
Well she's definitely into you at least!
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On November 22 2013 07:35 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?
And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery. What do you mean by tutorial? I think her explaining it in the email makes it less weird than completely ignoring how she got your name/email because then she's at least acknowledging it isn't normal behavior hopefully meaning it's atypical of her. At the same time I'd be worried that she has somehow obtained your signature and found your mailbox (did she follow you home after class?). Show nested quote +On November 22 2013 07:19 rivurivurivurivu wrote:On November 22 2013 07:17 r.Evo wrote:On November 22 2013 07:14 rivurivurivurivu wrote:On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?
And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery. it isnt weird, maybe she is shy or something like that, all depends what does the email was for. talk or homework? Question: if you try to get a girls number and she says: I take yours instead. is that a good or bad sign ? bad right ? Very bad. Not even sure how to recover from that besides joking about whether that means she wants to get rid of you when you thought you two would be together for the rest of your lives. Just make her type it into your phone next time. =P fck im sad now. i will cheese a bit in ladder now... ty Did she not text you so you got her number as well?
nope i think is a lost battle.
Question1:
any tips on seeing the diference when a girl is just nice and when she is interested ?
Question2:
"dont sht where you eat"
what do you guys think about that ?
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Answer 1:
If you are an introverted nerd who really doesn't understand whether a girl is being nice or whether she is interested, then she is probably just being nice. If you can't even bring yourself to make physical contact with a girl then you probably don't have any hope with her.
Answer 2:
I wouldn't want to eat next to my shit.
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On November 22 2013 09:51 IgnE wrote:
Answer 1:
If you are an introverted nerd who really doesn't understand whether a girl is being nice or whether she is interested, then she is probably just being nice. If you can't even bring yourself to make physical contact with a girl then you probably don't have any hope with her.
Answer 2:
I wouldn't want to eat next to my shit.
Is the girl the shit or are you eating her? I'm confused by this statement but I've heard it before.
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On November 22 2013 09:51 IgnE wrote:
Answer 1:
If you are an introverted nerd who really doesn't understand whether a girl is being nice or whether she is interested, then she is probably just being nice. If you can't even bring yourself to make physical contact with a girl then you probably don't have any hope with her.
im not shy, i dont have problems talking to girls. just that i cant see a diference i then i just fck up everything.
maybe i had miss some chances or maybe i really dont have a chance with the girls im talking to.
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On November 22 2013 09:52 Zooper31 wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2013 09:51 IgnE wrote:
Answer 1:
If you are an introverted nerd who really doesn't understand whether a girl is being nice or whether she is interested, then she is probably just being nice. If you can't even bring yourself to make physical contact with a girl then you probably don't have any hope with her.
Answer 2:
I wouldn't want to eat next to my shit. Is the girl the shit or are you eating her? I'm confused by this statement but I've heard it before.
it means "dont date anyone at work"
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On November 22 2013 09:37 rivurivurivurivu wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2013 07:35 Najda wrote:On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?
And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery. What do you mean by tutorial? I think her explaining it in the email makes it less weird than completely ignoring how she got your name/email because then she's at least acknowledging it isn't normal behavior hopefully meaning it's atypical of her. At the same time I'd be worried that she has somehow obtained your signature and found your mailbox (did she follow you home after class?). On November 22 2013 07:19 rivurivurivurivu wrote:On November 22 2013 07:17 r.Evo wrote:On November 22 2013 07:14 rivurivurivurivu wrote:On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?
And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery. it isnt weird, maybe she is shy or something like that, all depends what does the email was for. talk or homework? Question: if you try to get a girls number and she says: I take yours instead. is that a good or bad sign ? bad right ? Very bad. Not even sure how to recover from that besides joking about whether that means she wants to get rid of you when you thought you two would be together for the rest of your lives. Just make her type it into your phone next time. =P fck im sad now. i will cheese a bit in ladder now... ty Did she not text you so you got her number as well? nope i think is a lost battle. Question1: any tips on seeing the diference when a girl is just nice and when she is interested ? Question2: "dont sht where you eat" what do you guys think about that ?
Q1 Just assume she's interested and flirt with her and ask her out, worst case she'll just say no and you can still be friends if you want to.
Q2 Depends. If you're looking to move up in your company and make a career there, then I wouldn't date anyone in your same department where you'd see eachother often. If it's some part time job while you go to school or some other transitional job then go for it.
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On November 22 2013 10:23 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2013 09:37 rivurivurivurivu wrote:On November 22 2013 07:35 Najda wrote:On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?
And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery. What do you mean by tutorial? I think her explaining it in the email makes it less weird than completely ignoring how she got your name/email because then she's at least acknowledging it isn't normal behavior hopefully meaning it's atypical of her. At the same time I'd be worried that she has somehow obtained your signature and found your mailbox (did she follow you home after class?). On November 22 2013 07:19 rivurivurivurivu wrote:On November 22 2013 07:17 r.Evo wrote:On November 22 2013 07:14 rivurivurivurivu wrote:On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?
And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery. it isnt weird, maybe she is shy or something like that, all depends what does the email was for. talk or homework? Question: if you try to get a girls number and she says: I take yours instead. is that a good or bad sign ? bad right ? Very bad. Not even sure how to recover from that besides joking about whether that means she wants to get rid of you when you thought you two would be together for the rest of your lives. Just make her type it into your phone next time. =P fck im sad now. i will cheese a bit in ladder now... ty Did she not text you so you got her number as well? nope i think is a lost battle. Question1: any tips on seeing the diference when a girl is just nice and when she is interested ? Question2: "dont sht where you eat" what do you guys think about that ? Q1 Just assume she's interested and flirt with her and ask her out, worst case she'll just say no and you can still be friends if you want to. Q2 Depends. If you're looking to move up in your company and make a career there, then I wouldn't date anyone in your same department where you'd see eachother often. If it's some part time job while you go to school or some other transitional job then go for it.
ok i will just flirt, the problem is that Q1 is related with Q2 cuz i work with that girl in the same department.
im not looking to make a career in that company but i will stick for a while, maybe until april so i guess i can only "friendly" flirt with her...
dam this is hard.
ty
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When I girl asked me for my number, I got hers instead.
Always get the number lol
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Netherlands6188 Posts
If you you can't tell if she is being nice or if she is interested, it is better to assume she is being nice. But yeah, I guess if she continues to give mixed signals then you couod try flirting and see where it goes.
Dating someone you work with can go either way. It really depends on both of you and your maturity levels. If you break up are one of you going to make it a hard environment to work in?
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On November 22 2013 10:08 rivurivurivurivu wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2013 09:51 IgnE wrote:
Answer 1:
If you are an introverted nerd who really doesn't understand whether a girl is being nice or whether she is interested, then she is probably just being nice. If you can't even bring yourself to make physical contact with a girl then you probably don't have any hope with her.
im not shy, i dont have problems talking to girls. just that i cant see a diference i then i just fck up everything. maybe i had miss some chances or maybe i really dont have a chance with the girls im talking to.
Talking normal conversations with girls and flirting are two very different things. Don't expect to get anywhere with them if you're only able to do the former.
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On November 22 2013 18:58 Danglars wrote:We have a guru here.
I wasted 30 minutes of my precious work time reading that.
Regardless, it's firday and my motivation to work is low anyways.
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Netherlands6188 Posts
On November 22 2013 19:49 Restrider wrote:I wasted 30 minutes of my precious work time reading that. Regardless, it's firday and my motivation to work is low anyways.
Firday Firday gotta get down on FURDAY! :D
That is a pretty shitty post/blog though and I disagree with him a lot. I just cba to structure a formal defensive reply without the overwhelming urge to tell him he is wrong.
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On November 22 2013 20:14 draverjai wrote:Show nested quote +On November 22 2013 19:49 Restrider wrote:On November 22 2013 18:58 Danglars wrote:We have a guru here. I wasted 30 minutes of my precious work time reading that. Regardless, it's firday and my motivation to work is low anyways. Firday Firday gotta get down on FURDAY! :D That is a pretty shitty post/blog though and I disagree with him a lot. I just cba to structure a formal defensive reply without the overwhelming urge to tell him he is wrong.
I always wonder how successful you guys are in dating/picking up women :D
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On November 22 2013 18:58 Danglars wrote:We have a guru here.
Welp, this is what happens every time someone takes some good pieces of advice, interprets additional things into it to cover for his insecurities and then goes full on rage nerd mode trying to enforce his believes every day of his life because otherwise he'd have to admit that he wasn't the smartest cat with his initial interpretation.
e: lol. I just noticed that his opening basically said "I went out drunk was asked to go out and drink twice this week and one girl tried to game me and with the other two I was too drunk to do anything useful."
What a player.
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The thing about beliefs is that they do not necessarily need to be factually correct to be beneficial to your success with women. "It's not a competition" being one of those lies. Learning to lie convincingly to yourself can be very powerful. I don't advocate it, I'd rather learn the painful truth and adjust from there, but at the same time if people get confidence, sex and happiness from those lies I try not challenge them, as long as they don't affect me.
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On November 22 2013 23:07 Killscreen wrote:
The thing about beliefs is that they do not necessarily need to be factually correct to be beneficial to your success with women. "It's not a competition" being one of those lies. Learning to lie convincingly to yourself can be very powerful. I don't advocate it, I'd rather learn the painful truth and adjust from there, but at the same time if people get confidence, sex and happiness from those lies I try not challenge them, as long as they don't affect me.
There is an insane difference between adopting useful frameworks/believes with the understanding what they actually are and insisting on a belief because it became a focus point of your personality.
Examples:
1a) "If a woman that I approached sits around to talk to me that means she must be attracted to me."
1b) "Every woman has the same biological needs and drives and I can use my understanding of those to seduce her."
2a) "If you are going to have a sexual relationship with a woman, it necessarily must happen within the first, say, 20 hours* of knowing her."
2b) "This might be the most important point of all. No one woman is "special". Sorry, hate to break you pretty little world view, but women are all the same. Each one is a little different when it comes to personality, intelligence, quirks, etc, just like men, but they all have the same drives, the same needs, the same emotions."
1a)+b) are generalizing and, in a vacuum, utterly retarded. However, adapting them into your daily life is completely fine as long as you're aware of it being a certain model to accomplish something specific. Using them to imagine that the 80 year old lady at the bus stop you just asked about the time wants your D would be moronic.
2a) Is generalizing as well but it's also a limiting belief. Yes, it makes things easier in most cases to seduce a woman early on for beginners but it's completely and utterly unnecessary once you moved past basics. A good framing for a positive belief would be among the lines of "It's possible to seduce every woman within 8-10 hours." - It's still retarded in a vacuum but certainly useful if you have it in the back of your mind and it pops up when you realize you just had two dates without even touching her.
2b) While certainly true to an extent is also completely unnecessary. Yes, it's retarded to put a woman on a pedestal yada yada but getting rid of thinking that individuals can be -special- means trying to rob yourself of basic emotions. It's not bad to feel stunned by a beautiful woman. It's not bad to think "Wow this girl is the most awesome woman I ever met". It's just awful as fuck to bathe in those feelings and let them dictate the way you act around them.
What I'm trying to say is that it's completely fine to explain what atoms are with "smallest possible unit of matter that everything is built of" despite it kind of being full of bullshit. It just depends on the context and what exactly you need it for.
What happens to guys like the one in this blog is that they take a certain model (fine), turn it into a belief (fine) and then when they see it gives them positive feedback they throw away the knowledge that it was just a specific model and form an emotional connection with it. That emotional connection to a model is what then turns their character from a normal human being into... that.
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EPT
