EPTAnd if you get a really good one, do a montage of sorts. Something that is not against the rules of the website or offending on any level, but makes you clearly stand-out from the rest. Use that one as your opener but have other pictures as well. I am currently using a picture of my face on a girls body that looks hilarious and i am pretty sure that i got more clicks then most other guys just because of that. And trust me, you need them to click your profile out of sheer curiousity, because usually they don't bother with that.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 320
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Broetchenholer
Germany1964 Posts
And if you get a really good one, do a montage of sorts. Something that is not against the rules of the website or offending on any level, but makes you clearly stand-out from the rest. Use that one as your opener but have other pictures as well. I am currently using a picture of my face on a girls body that looks hilarious and i am pretty sure that i got more clicks then most other guys just because of that. And trust me, you need them to click your profile out of sheer curiousity, because usually they don't bother with that. | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
On November 18 2013 03:29 Merany wrote: My best advice would be: ask help from someone else! If you have good friends (that you know won't make fun of you) with a good camera, you can ask them during a party for example and be specific about not wanting to look like you're super drunk  I also got a couple good shots last summer when I was visiting New-York with my family. Top of the empire state building with good light / view, I thought it looked great!Unfortunately I don't really know anyone where I'm living now or this wouldn't be a problem in the first place. It seems to be the catch-22 of dating: you have to know people to meet more people leaving people who don't know anyone stuck in the dark. I have some travel pictures from 2/3 years ago but I've improved my style tremendously and have been working out a lot since then and those pictures don't remotely do me justice. | ||
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Aeroplaneoverthesea
United Kingdom1977 Posts
The reason standing out in terms of picture isn't that important is because you're going to be messaging the girls 99% of the time not the other way around. Just get your picture on there, write out a generic-ish message that you can edit a little bit to tailor it to the girl you're messaging and send out a lot of messages. Most girls don't reply, don't let it bother you at all just send out more messages. If your success rate for a response is between 1 in 5 and 1 in 15 you're doing fine. I guess the chances of you meeting "the one" online aren't great but hopefully you'll get a lot more confident around women and maybe get laid a few times. And finally when you're talking to girls online you really, really don't want to come across as a perv unless she's moving the conversation that way. So don't do any dirty talk, ask her what she's wearing or anything else like that unless it's clear she wants that. On November 18 2013 03:27 SixStrings wrote: I considered on-line dating as well, but the photo was really what deterred me from the idea. My idea was just to photograph myself with a random counter while I'm playing some tunes, because that's where I feel most at home, but the notion of uploading a photo like that seems just so cheesy. The thought someone walking in on me while I'm prepping a photograph like that is more than mortifying... I'm also not sure if it might not be more prudent to not use a picture at all. It says on OkC that you're 8x as likely to be approached when you have a picture, but that number doesn't distinguish betwixt girls and men and when there's people who get 100x the attention due to their picture, there also have to be people who would be fine without one but don't stand a chance with one. Looks like we're in a similar position. I don't want to approach girls from my uni, and the girls at my job are rather stuck up, so I just made a habit of talking to random strangers. Since May that yielded me one lay and two terrible 'dates', but your mileage might be better if you're better looking and less awkward. Online dating without a picture doesn't work at all, you have to use a picture and there's really no reason to be embarrassed about it. There's loads of really hot girls on dating websites. | ||
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sam!zdat
United States5559 Posts
 at least I am better looking than my picture when usually it's the opposite! | ||
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ZapRoffo
United States5544 Posts
On November 18 2013 03:22 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote: Don't take pictures with your shirt off, dick out or anything else dumb. You want lots of pictures in different settings. If you have any pictures of yourself on nights out or other things like that especially with female friends (or guy friends if you don't have any with women) then use those. And obviously just play to your positives. If you're fat use pics where you're sat down or that are your face. If you're ripped as fuck then wear a t shirt or vest etc... Imo though hookup sites are better than online dating sites. It's way too easy to waste loads of money taking girls out you met online who you have no chemistry with but cost you £50+ in drinks and dinner. That's a really expensive first date with someone you are meeting online for the first time. Most people I think do a scout out like just getting coffee or lunch to see what sort of chemistry there is. Annoying online encounter recently: *amid conversation that seems amiable and we can get along* Me: And what's no plans like for you--what do you get up to? That's also what I'm curious about. Or alternatively if you want more plans, we could meet up n' hang out  .Her: Sure we can meet up what did you have in mind? Want to get brunch today or tomorrow? Me: Tomorrow would be cool, I like the idea on the brunch if that's still working, sounds tasty. Do you have somewhere in mind? I'm mobile and flexible, not sure how much you are. *Never hear from her again* | ||
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Aeroplaneoverthesea
United Kingdom1977 Posts
On November 18 2013 04:12 ZapRoffo wrote: That's a really expensive first date with someone you are meeting online for the first time. Most people I think do a scout out like just getting coffee or lunch to see what sort of chemistry there is. Annoying online encounter recently: *amid conversation that seems amiable and we can get along* Me: And what's no plans like for you--what do you get up to? That's also what I'm curious about. Or alternatively if you want more plans, we could meet up n' hang out .Her: Sure we can meet up what did you have in mind? Want to get brunch today or tomorrow? Me: Tomorrow would be cool, I like the idea on the brunch if that's still working, sounds tasty. Do you have somewhere in mind? I'm mobile and flexible, not sure how much you are. *Never hear from her again* Brunch isn't really a thing in the UK. You could meet just for a drinks I guess which would be a bit cheaper, idk I think you're more likely to get a good outcome if you buy her dinner but I guess it depends on the girl. | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On November 18 2013 03:27 SixStrings wrote: I considered on-line dating as well, but the photo was really what deterred me from the idea. My idea was just to photograph myself with a random counter while I'm playing some tunes, because that's where I feel most at home, but the notion of uploading a photo like that seems just so cheesy. The thought someone walking in on me while I'm prepping a photograph like that is more than mortifying... I'm also not sure if it might not be more prudent to not use a picture at all. It says on OkC that you're 8x as likely to be approached when you have a picture, but that number doesn't distinguish betwixt girls and men and when there's people who get 100x the attention due to their picture, there also have to be people who would be fine without one but don't stand a chance with one. Looks like we're in a similar position. I don't want to approach girls from my uni, and the girls at my job are rather stuck up, so I just made a habit of talking to random strangers. Since May that yielded me one lay and two terrible 'dates', but your mileage might be better if you're better looking and less awkward. you have zero chance without a picture | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14081 Posts
On November 17 2013 17:23 Orcasgt24 wrote: I don't know the term flaked. Whats it mean? I do agree, we could have talked a little more before hand. There was a little less then 2 days between ask and date time. I did text with her earlier in the day but it only a few messages each Oh flaking just means cancelling a date and/or not showing up. But yeah some texting earlier in the day sounds alright. Basically (since I assume you don't want to date someone who does this kind of stuff in general) it comes to figuring it out beforehand if possible. If the texts a couple of hours earlier seemed fine then I guess you were just out of luck. =P IF you want to give stuff like this another try and her apology seems genuine make sure to let her work for another date. | ||
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Aeroplaneoverthesea
United Kingdom1977 Posts
On November 18 2013 04:19 Najda wrote: It doesn't have to be a meal, I prefer doing something like going to the beach, or there is a indoor glow in the dark minigolf place that is way more interesting than lunch. Although it may be different when you're meeting someone from the internet idk. Yeah obviously it depends on your location. If you don't live either by the beach (it's November anyway) or in a major city where there's lots of weird but fun places which are 'different' (pretty much only London in the UK would have stuff like that). Then you're left with drinks, cinema, dinner or bowling. Some girls just don't enjoy bowling, cinema always sucks because you can't talk. If you're meeting a girl online I don't think it's a good idea to do anything that's going to last all day like say Zoo or Theme Park etc.. because that's a hell of a lot of conversation you need to make with someone you don't know. | ||
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WombaT
Northern Ireland27234 Posts
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On November 18 2013 04:12 ZapRoffo wrote: That's a really expensive first date with someone you are meeting online for the first time. Most people I think do a scout out like just getting coffee or lunch to see what sort of chemistry there is. Annoying online encounter recently: *amid conversation that seems amiable and we can get along* Me: And what's no plans like for you--what do you get up to? That's also what I'm curious about. Or alternatively if you want more plans, we could meet up n' hang out .Her: Sure we can meet up what did you have in mind? Want to get brunch today or tomorrow? Me: Tomorrow would be cool, I like the idea on the brunch if that's still working, sounds tasty. Do you have somewhere in mind? I'm mobile and flexible, not sure how much you are. *Never hear from her again* she probably just found someone else she liked and so has cut contact w all the potential future dates she was grooming. happens all the time. nothing personal | ||
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Aeroplaneoverthesea
United Kingdom1977 Posts
On November 18 2013 05:34 IgnE wrote: she probably just found someone else she liked and so has cut contact w all the potential future dates she was grooming. happens all the time. nothing personal Ameatur mistake tbh. Always keep your options open until you've had at least 3 dates with someone and even then you should explain to any girl you have had zero dates with that you're going to see how this goes, then when it fucks up you can go back to her on good terms. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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SixStrings
Germany2046 Posts
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Kenpachi
United States9908 Posts
On November 18 2013 04:53 Wombat_NI wrote: I once got stood up by a girl who asked me out, teenage me was most confused. I bet what happened was girl was dared to ask you out. :/ happened to me too Well, only happened cause they said I was hot so I still conceive it as a victory >> | ||
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CrAzzYHP
United States59 Posts
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WombaT
Northern Ireland27234 Posts
On November 18 2013 06:53 Kenpachi wrote: I bet what happened was girl was dared to ask you out. :/ happened to me too Well, only happened cause they said I was hot so I still conceive it as a victory >> Ran into her sans her girlfriends, otherwise I would entertain that as a possibility | ||
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corumjhaelen
France6884 Posts
I understand you, girls can be like that...So apparently I'm in a relationship. I think she's hot, she thinks I'm hot (that's worrying for her mental health but hey...), she makes me laugh and I make her laugh too. She's quick at the repartee. She can be patient and kind, but not passive. I think she has a great outlook on life. To chime in a bit with sam, she just has "bad" lectures and not-always-perfect-taste in movies, but she doesn't think I'm being pretentious when I disagree with her and even opened my Hegel to read the first sentence and make sense of it. I do not want to "convert her" or anything like that, but I think there is potential for growing our intellectual common ground, which is a good thing. Plus she showed me Dark City, not bad ! And as the rest is great, I'm not complaining. Only two and a half weeks in, but I hope this will last a bit. | ||
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