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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-18 00:37:25
November 18 2013 00:37 GMT
#6401
On November 18 2013 09:30 corumjhaelen wrote:
sam I understand you, girls can be like that...
So apparently I'm in a relationship. I think she's hot, she thinks I'm hot (that's worrying for her mental health but hey...), she makes me laugh and I make her laugh too. She's quick at the repartee. She can be patient and kind, but not passive. I think she has a great outlook on life. To chime in a bit with sam, she just has "bad" lectures and not-always-perfect-taste in movies, but she doesn't think I'm being pretentious when I disagree with her and even opened my Hegel to read the first sentence and make sense of it. I do not want to "convert her" or anything like that, but I think there is potential for growing our intellectual common ground, which is a good thing. Plus she showed me Dark City, not bad ! And as the rest is great, I'm not complaining.
Only two and a half weeks in, but I hope this will last a bit.


screw you
shikata ga nai
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26480 Posts
November 18 2013 00:37 GMT
#6402
Dark City as in the film? Marry her, marry her naowww.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6192 Posts
November 18 2013 04:37 GMT
#6403
On November 18 2013 09:30 corumjhaelen wrote:
sam I understand you, girls can be like that...
So apparently I'm in a relationship. I think she's hot, she thinks I'm hot (that's worrying for her mental health but hey...), she makes me laugh and I make her laugh too. She's quick at the repartee. She can be patient and kind, but not passive. I think she has a great outlook on life. To chime in a bit with sam, she just has "bad" lectures and not-always-perfect-taste in movies, but she doesn't think I'm being pretentious when I disagree with her and even opened my Hegel to read the first sentence and make sense of it. I do not want to "convert her" or anything like that, but I think there is potential for growing our intellectual common ground, which is a good thing. Plus she showed me Dark City, not bad ! And as the rest is great, I'm not complaining.
Only two and a half weeks in, but I hope this will last a bit.

That's cute. And it pleases me that you have such a posirive outlook on it and are being realistic and looking for places to grow yourselves together. Good luck in the future.
<3
Dogfoodboy16
Profile Joined October 2013
364 Posts
November 19 2013 19:34 GMT
#6404
Is it possible to stay just friends with a girl after having sex with her? I have been friends with this girl for 2 years. Shes fun to hang out with but i have no desire to be in a relationship with her. I know she likes me but im trying to figure out if their is a feasible way for us to just be friends from now on. How would I go about saying I like you but only as a friend?
VayneAuthority
Profile Joined October 2012
United States8983 Posts
November 19 2013 19:36 GMT
#6405
if you already had sex with her then it's better to just damage control then actually flat out say it since you come off as pretty scrubby. just best to not lead her on from this point instead of blatantly say that imo. Also depends on the girl, some might have no problem with you just saying that
I come in for the scraps
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
November 19 2013 19:59 GMT
#6406
wait hes talking about friend zoning someone i thought that was an inexcusable crime against men everywhere.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
bloopie
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States123 Posts
November 19 2013 20:51 GMT
#6407
how about.... having sex AND staying as friends? sometimes they are cool wit dat d too
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
November 19 2013 21:52 GMT
#6408
On November 20 2013 04:59 ComaDose wrote:
wait hes talking about friend zoning someone i thought that was an inexcusable crime against men everywhere.


The crime is stringing them along and never defining the relationship but subtly denying any advances.
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
November 19 2013 21:57 GMT
#6409
On November 20 2013 06:52 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 20 2013 04:59 ComaDose wrote:
wait hes talking about friend zoning someone i thought that was an inexcusable crime against men everywhere.


The crime is stringing them along and never defining the relationship but subtly denying any advances.

Oh well that doesn't sound as bad as fucking someone then telling them you just want to be friends
But seriously are you putting the onus of defining the relationship on the woman for any particular reason?
And can you define "stringing them along" in a way that would make it somehow different than being friends with someone?
is denying someones advances a bad thing now lol the crime sounds like overestimating men's ability to take a hint.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
Incomplet
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
United Kingdom1419 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-19 22:08:01
November 19 2013 22:05 GMT
#6410
hey-ai.com pretty good if you're an asian guy into non-asian women lol
Would only recommend if you live in the EU or US though.
I met my partner off there, and we are now recently married :D
Bow down to the sons of Aiur...SKT1_Rain, CreatorPrime, ST_Parting, Liquid_Hero.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
November 19 2013 22:09 GMT
#6411
On November 20 2013 06:57 ComaDose wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 20 2013 06:52 Najda wrote:
On November 20 2013 04:59 ComaDose wrote:
wait hes talking about friend zoning someone i thought that was an inexcusable crime against men everywhere.


The crime is stringing them along and never defining the relationship but subtly denying any advances.

Oh well that doesn't sound as bad as fucking someone then telling them you just want to be friends
But seriously are you putting the onus of defining the relationship on the woman for any particular reason?
And can you define "stringing them along" in a way that would make it somehow different than being friends with someone?
is denying someones advances a bad thing now lol the crime sounds like overestimating men's ability to take a hint.


Stringing along I mean when person A knows person B wants a relationship, but instead of saying no, s/he will keep using person B for occasional sex or for the attention s/he is receiving.

Having sex with someone and then realizing you don't want a relationship and being straight about it is forgivable but if you instead keep stringing them along then you're a douche.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26480 Posts
November 19 2013 22:12 GMT
#6412
Yeah I'm with Nadja on that important distinction
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
November 19 2013 22:13 GMT
#6413
oh yeah leading people on is a bad thing. didnt know that was what you were talking about when you quoted my post about friendzone
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
JoeCool
Profile Joined January 2012
Germany2520 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-28 19:23:43
November 21 2013 17:48 GMT
#6414
Nevermind...
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
November 21 2013 22:07 GMT
#6415
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?

And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery.
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-21 22:12:51
November 21 2013 22:12 GMT
#6416
I'd throw in a stalker joke and mention that he could have just... you know... talked to me instead but besides those 1-2 sentences I'd give a proper answer. If she flips out about it, run.

Sure it's strange/creepy but at least for me that wouldn't be a complete no-go. I'd just have my antennae out and be a bit careful at first. Fully explaining it and not taking it light-hearted is the way to go if you want nothing to do with her tho. =P
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
rivurivurivurivu
Profile Joined May 2011
Sweden140 Posts
November 21 2013 22:14 GMT
#6417
On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?

And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery.


it isnt weird, maybe she is shy or something like that, all depends what does the email was for. talk or homework?

Question:
if you try to get a girls number and she says: I take yours instead.
is that a good or bad sign ?
bad right ?
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
November 21 2013 22:17 GMT
#6418
On November 22 2013 07:14 rivurivurivurivu wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?

And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery.


it isnt weird, maybe she is shy or something like that, all depends what does the email was for. talk or homework?

Question:
if you try to get a girls number and she says: I take yours instead.
is that a good or bad sign ?
bad right ?

Very bad. Not even sure how to recover from that besides joking about whether that means she wants to get rid of you when you thought you two would be together for the rest of your lives.

Just make her type it into your phone next time. =P
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
November 21 2013 22:18 GMT
#6419
On November 22 2013 07:12 r.Evo wrote:
I'd throw in a stalker joke and mention that he could have just... you know... talked to me instead but besides those 1-2 sentences I'd give a proper answer. If she flips out about it, run.

Sure it's strange/creepy but at least for me that wouldn't be a complete no-go. I'd just have my antennae out and be a bit careful at first. Fully explaining it and not taking it light-hearted is the way to go if you want nothing to do with her tho. =P


She explained it, not me. She also neglected to mention how she knows where I live, but one step at a time.

Definitely interesting.
rivurivurivurivu
Profile Joined May 2011
Sweden140 Posts
November 21 2013 22:19 GMT
#6420
On November 22 2013 07:17 r.Evo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 22 2013 07:14 rivurivurivurivu wrote:
On November 22 2013 07:07 SixStrings wrote:
If a girl writes you an e-mail, having taken the address from a mass-e-mail your professor sent, by having learned your first name in a tutorial and your last name by comparing the initials from your signature to the name on your mailbox, would you think that's a little strange?

And would her explaining the process within the first e-mail make it weirder, less weird or equally weird?
I would have appreciated the mystery.


it isnt weird, maybe she is shy or something like that, all depends what does the email was for. talk or homework?

Question:
if you try to get a girls number and she says: I take yours instead.
is that a good or bad sign ?
bad right ?

Very bad. Not even sure how to recover from that besides joking about whether that means she wants to get rid of you when you thought you two would be together for the rest of your lives.

Just make her type it into your phone next time. =P


fck im sad now.
i will cheese a bit in ladder now... ty
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