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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On October 19 2018 11:33 Excludos wrote:
I really don't underatand this point about getting up so early it's still dark outside and claim your day is more productive. Ultimately you'll have to get to bed earlier, so you're not getting longer days from it.
What I'm presuming to be the case here is more that consistently getting up at the same time every day is the key to waking up with more energy, rather than it having to be butt early.
I agree with this. Also, optimizing your sleep times with your natural rhythms. I do HORRIBLY with early mornings. Before 7am is rough, before 6 is a disaster...even if I train myself to go to bed at 10pm or 11pm. I also gain energy throughout the day, peaking around perhaps 7pm or 8pm, so morning exercise is a no go. Significantly lower performance. I try to use morning to take care of repetitive or mundane tasks, and save afternoon and evening for exercise and other more challenging or productive tasks.
Big believer in do what works best for you. If you don't know...trial and error.
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I go to sleep around 10, wake up before 4am. Also take a 1 hour nap in middle of the day (after work). I get about 7 hours of sleep daily and I function extremely well. 8 hours of sleep only occur when I feel like Im coming down with something.
Also Im not advocating that you must wake up before the crack of dawn. That is just usually how it aligns with my regular work-hour days. Other benefits is that you beat traffic, gym is very nice and empty, doggo loves morning walks, fresh morning air.. the list goes on and on for me particularly.
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On October 19 2018 14:57 Emnjay808 wrote:
I go to sleep around 10, wake up before 4am. Also take a 1 hour nap in middle of the day (after work). I get about 7 hours of sleep daily and I function extremely well. 8 hours of sleep only occur when I feel like Im coming down with something.
Also Im not advocating that you must wake up before the crack of dawn. That is just usually how it aligns with my regular work-hour days. Other benefits is that you beat traffic, gym is very nice and empty, doggo loves morning walks, fresh morning air.. the list goes on and on for me particularly.
Exactly my point. If it works for you, excellent. You seem to have a good system that leaves you rested and gets you ready to tackle the day. Same for the sleep. If 6 hours + a nap works for you...boom! I need 8 at least, especially training. A lucky few ("sleepless elite") are just as fine as the rest of us on 4-5 hrs a night. It's very individual on all these things.
Although, at this point we are almost TLHF....
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On October 19 2018 11:42 IgnE wrote:Mark Wahlberg wakes up at 2:30am every day and look how productive he is ![[image loading]](https://media.golfdigest.com/photos/5b99609b76b1c2046e109270/master/w_925/wahlberg%2520IG.jpg)
Are you serious?
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On October 19 2018 15:35 Artisreal wrote:Show nested quote +On October 19 2018 11:42 IgnE wrote:Mark Wahlberg wakes up at 2:30am every day and look how productive he is Are you serious?
I was almost certain that that was a joke, because there are like 3 hours of actually doing productive stuff on that time plan.
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Lol that's hilarious
He has the same schedule as pro bodybuilders :D
whatever works for you, the only really natural thing to me seems to wake up with the sun (Obviously impossible to maintain)
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On October 19 2018 14:18 L_Master wrote:Show nested quote +On October 19 2018 05:16 IgnE wrote:
@L_Master
for me the primary blindspot you have demonstrated in the last few pages has to so with your lack of experience of LTRs in general
ive been doing the open thing longer than you have, and when you are truly “single” and live by yourself and have your own space it is much much easier as a guy to meet new women.
everything changes when you start to make more serious commitments to one woman. rather than jumping straight to considering something like marriage (which whatever its downsides provides real legal benefits, if for example, you want to have kids), consider moving in with a partner.
the interest from other women plummets off a cliff when you live with someone. this suggests that when you are dating multiple people, but still “single” in a certain sense, each woman still views herself as perhaps your “main” commitment, or possibly future “main” commitment. once you move in, women would rather not bother wasting time w you, especially when you are just one of many on a market full of more unattached men. this leads to even more significant investment of your time to find new people to “date” at all, let alone for any significant length of time
this should not be considered a hard argument against what you are doing now, or even against “keeping it open” indefinitely. but my experience is that the way you are describing it now, where you are in control, awash in opportunity, etc. is not the whole picture. it is more like a life phase where you are at a local peak in dating market desirability which only stays open insofar as you dont get too attached to any one person. problems get thornier when you consider the fact that while women are much less likely to want to give a shot to a guy living with another woman, many men have no compunctions about dating and sleeping w a woman who says she’s similarly committed to another man. Thank you. Lots of worthwhile things to keep in mind. I will almost certainly do the bolded when that time comes, I think it's good advice.
You've never lived with a woman?
And yeah would be an automatic no-no for me if a woman lives with her boyfriend unless it's a one night fuck or something and she'e very clear it's an open relationship.
And I'd assume overwhelming majority of women will have even a harsher stance
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On October 19 2018 16:52 Simberto wrote:Show nested quote +On October 19 2018 15:35 Artisreal wrote:On October 19 2018 11:42 IgnE wrote:Mark Wahlberg wakes up at 2:30am every day and look how productive he is Are you serious? I was almost certain that that was a joke, because there are like 3 hours of actually doing productive stuff on that time plan.
Dude's a hollywood actor, working out twice a day, praying and seeing your family most of the time is def productive for him.
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Definitely looks like a joke to me.
I play golf. There is no such thing as a 30-minute golf session.
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On October 19 2018 23:07 Laurens wrote:
Definitely looks like a joke to me.
I play golf. There is no such thing as a 30-minute golf session.
Yeah, that's a fake list.
As far as I can tell, sleep requirements and how busy one's schedule is are not causally linked, and are each highly personalized. Some people can do a lot in a 14 hour day after sleeping for 10 hours; some people can do very little in a 20 hour day after sleeping for 4 hours. There's usually a quantity vs. quality (of sleep, or of number of hours awake) that you need to figure out for yourself. Up until last year, I was fully functional on 5 hours of sleep. I could work 12 hour days if need be and not be tired. I turned 30 last April, and my body has forced me to be a little kinder to it (eat a bit better, sleep a bit more, etc.). I'm listening to my body because I don't want to burn out, so now I'm averaging around 5.5-6 hours of sleep (up at 5 AM every day) and I feel just as energized as I used to. But that's me and my body.
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On October 19 2018 23:16 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On October 19 2018 23:07 Laurens wrote:
Definitely looks like a joke to me.
I play golf. There is no such thing as a 30-minute golf session. Yeah, that's a fake list. As far as I can tell, sleep requirements and how busy one's schedule is are not causally linked, and are each highly personalized. Some people can do a lot in a 14 hour day after sleeping for 10 hours; some people can do very little in a 20 hour day after sleeping for 4 hours. There's usually a quantity vs. quality (of sleep, or of number of hours awake) that you need to figure out for yourself. Up until last year, I was fully functional on 5 hours of sleep. I could work 12 hour days if need be and not be tired. I turned 30 last April, and my body has forced me to be a little kinder to it (eat a bit better, sleep a bit more, etc.). I'm listening to my body because I don't want to burn out, so now I'm averaging around 5.5-6 hours of sleep (up at 5 AM every day) and I feel just as energized as I used to. But that's me and my body.
1.5 hr shower? 1.5 hr snack? lol.
And yea, as a serious golfer myself the idea of golf of any form in 30 minutes is comical. Unless he literally has his own pitching/chipping/putting area and just does that right out of his house.
PS: Somewhat jealous of your borderline sleepless elite status.
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Im still having trouble getting over my last gf. Some days I think Im completely over it and feel moved on, but other days I keep thinking about her and still feel something. 2 months since our break up and I dont know what I need to do to get it out of my system. So many times I just wanna hit her up, but I just throw my phone away. I dont want to get pulled back in. I WANT TO MOVE ON
Edit: context being she was cheating on me but we still remain friends and talk now and then.
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On October 21 2018 11:17 Emnjay808 wrote:
Im still having trouble getting over my last gf. Some days I think Im completely over it and feel moved on, but other days I keep thinking about her and still feel something. 2 months since our break up and I dont know what I need to do to get it out of my system. So many times I just wanna hit her up, but I just throw my phone away. I dont want to get pulled back in. I WANT TO MOVE ON
Edit: context being she was cheating on me but we still remain friends and talk now and then.
Quit talking to her. End the "friendship". Doing this will probably take you out of your comfort zone... it'll be unfamiliar. Well, fuck "comfort". Be ruthless. Make your life goals your #1 priority. If you have to eliminate several leisure pursuits and primarily focus on your life goals then do that. A few months after you are focused on life goals you'll have "moved on".
In the 20th Century the saying was: "Look Out For #1".
In the 21st Century the saying is: "Bet On Yourself"
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Yeah I agree with Jimmy, definitely cut all ties, you should have done that two months ago. Why would you even want to be friends with someone who doesn't respect you?
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These are things I need to hear. I appreciate the replies, thank you.
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why would you want to stay friends who cheated on you anyway? id drop her like a hot potato
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I assume she's not still fucking the same guy she cheated on him with. So maybe she misses the relationship too.
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On October 21 2018 22:09 evilfatsh1t wrote:
why would you want to stay friends who cheated on you anyway? id drop her like a hot potato
You don't just magically stop caring about someone because they did something bad or hurt you. Emotions aren't that simple. Most people can muster up enough reason to break up, but very few are able to just cut all ties immediately (if it's been a long relationship at least).
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On October 22 2018 00:37 IgnE wrote:
I assume she's not still fucking the same guy she cheated on him with. So maybe she misses the relationship too.
Not sure if I see the point here...??
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On October 22 2018 03:02 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2018 00:37 IgnE wrote:
I assume she's not still fucking the same guy she cheated on him with. So maybe she misses the relationship too. Not sure if I see the point here...??
If someone cheats on you and is apparently very happy to "stay" with that other person after what you perceive to be a catastrophic breakup, I think you are less likely to want to keep in contact and stay friends. I am sure that is not always the case of course, but if someone said that they recently broke up with their SO over cheating but that they were still in contact and wanted to be friends still or whatever, my bet would be that the "cheating," perceived as a rejection or betrayal, is still not in some sense ongoing in the present. Much harder to forgive someone who by all outward appearances affirms (by persisting in) that rejection/betrayal and does not appear to have suffered much.
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EPT
