On November 10 2009 05:06 Ryu X wrote: you are obviously mistaken. that write-up you quoted in your spoiler, was taken from an interview by RJ Ledesma. he is known for being a comedic writer
sure. i just gave it a cursory read and watched the video, if you know better then you're probably right. lets not muck up the thread
[edit: i just read what i quoted my first time through your post. you registered at tl to rep your product? lol..thats somethin. your entourage must be good ppl if they play sc. gl to ya]
heres a sticky one that just came up: i met my current roommate last year. i hung out with him and his gf a lot. she is studying overseas in britain this year (her dad got a job out there) and my roommate is goin over there second semester. she just talked to me on fbchat and invited me to go over there to live with her. its an opportunity..but i still feel weird about it. I wouldn't ever do anything to get in between them but there were some situations as last year progressed where it seems like she saw me as more than a friend. this really scares me.
the one I'm most confused about happened after i went to my roommate's room (we lived down the hall from each other last year). his roommate last year was a dick, and so we decided to go to the lounge. his gf left first, me and him were finishing a youtube video or something. i went next and as he was out the door and it was closing he ran back in to get a bottle of water. i kept walking and when I got in sight of the lounge through a window the lights were off and she was crying. we made eye contact and she kept crying and didnt try to hide it from me.
her bf came right after and she stopped crying, trying to hide it and say it was nothing. obviously, she was very torn about something. i stopped hanging out with them for a couple weeks after that. since then I've been kind of colder to gf's of my guy friends I know. I spend less time joking around with them than I would be if they were single. I'm scared something like this might happen again. I'm still trying to figure out how I should interact. but at the same time, nobody can control their feelings. if its gonna happen its gonna happen
anyway so far I haven't told him that she invited me because i never plan on going. well, I generally never tell anybody what anybody else tells me. but in this case i don't know if i should bring my suspicions forward
On November 10 2009 05:06 Ryu X wrote: you are obviously mistaken. that write-up you quoted in your spoiler, was taken from an interview by RJ Ledesma. he is known for being a comedic writer
sure. i just gave it a cursory read and watched the video, if you know better then you're probably right. lets not muck up the thread
heres a sticky one that just came up: i met my current roommate last year. i hung out with him and his gf a lot. she is studying overseas in britain this year (her dad got a job out there) and my roommate is goin over there second semester. she just talked to me on fbchat and invited me to go over there to live with her. its an opportunity..but i still feel weird about it. I wouldn't ever do anything to get in between them but there were some situations as last year progressed where it seems like she saw me as more than a friend. this really scares me.
the one I'm most confused about happened after i went to my roommate's room (we lived down the hall from each other last year). his roommate last year was a dick, and so we decided to go to the lounge. his gf left first, me and him were finishing a youtube video or something. i went next and as he was out the door and it was closing he ran back in to get a bottle of water. i kept walking and when I got in sight of the lounge through a window the lights were off and she was crying. we made eye contact and she kept crying and didnt try to hide it from me.
her bf came right after and she stopped crying, trying to hide it and say it was nothing. obviously, she was very torn about something. i stopped hanging out with them for a couple weeks after that. since then I've been kind of colder to gf's of my guy friends I know. I spend less time joking around with them than I would be if they were single. I'm scared something like this might happen again. I'm still trying to figure out how I should interact. but at the same time, nobody can control their feelings. if its gonna happen its gonna happen
anyway so far I haven't told him that she invited me because i never plan on going. well, I generally never tell anybody what anybody else tells me. but in this case i don't know if i should bring my suspicions forward
All I have to say is, I feel really bad for your roommate. He's going to move in with a chick overseas who isn't even interested in him?
she is. after i distanced myself things went back to business as usual. she honestly does like him, I'm worried that when she comes back these situations might resurface and if I'm aware of it but haven't said anything..
On November 10 2009 06:57 KurtistheTurtle wrote: she is. after i distanced myself things went back to business as usual. she honestly does like him, I'm worried that when she comes back these situations might resurface and if I'm aware of it but haven't said anything..
So basically, the potential just exists there for her to always like you more. You should make sure he completely loves her and then blackmail him for stuff. Simple things like money and food. Just make it clear that if the gifts stop coming then you're gonna live with his girlfriend (and remind him of higher potential).
I guess if she likes him it still doesn't even matter. She was crying over you LOL
On November 10 2009 02:00 Shauni wrote: So LarJarsE, I'm not a confident person and I become nervous around most girls, as if I am socially inept. I do not really wish to become the confident asshole-type you are often describing, because it doesn't fit with my personality and my values. I wouldn't mind becoming less nervous around females though, but it is probably because I rarely meet them. I know that the females I meet at parties and those I know from my male-friends usually see me as a bother or at best a nice guy they won't show any interest in. I don't wish to become an attraction magnet or a sexy alpha male with girls swarming around me, I just don't want to have only male friends. I'm not ugly, but the few times women actually approach me out of interest, they grow bored of my unresponsive ways and lack of conversation. How do I solve this without compromising myself too much?
Shauni: This post will help you.
You are asking what in a man gets a woman's attention, wether it be you out of your friends or you out of everyone on the face of the planet. Woman are attracted to men who display higher status in their social setting. If you are twiddling your thumbs with your head down wishing someone would just talk to you and accept you, that is a great way to inadvertantly tell women to stay far away.
You dont have to be a dick to display higher status. To display higher status, you just really believe that you are of high status and you are not seeking acceptance from ANYONE, because you don't have to! Dont be shy to look a female in her eyes and give her a smirk. Dont laugh at things you don't think aren't funny, and don't agree with things that you dont agree for just the hell of it. If you BELIEVE that you are going to go out, be noticed, have a good time, and get the attention from the ladies, it will HAPPEN. But you must actually BELIEVE in these things without a doubt in the process.
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I made it a point to say this MAY sound assholish, but it is not. Those who are not confident don't understand what feels like to be confident and they are intimidated by the ideas. The fact is, its all in your head. With some change in perspective and some practice you CAN be confident and it will feel natural to talk to women you are attracted to aggressively.
It doesn't help me at all. I've read this thousands of times and it still feels so empty. It's always the same thing all over again: display confidence and status bla bla toy with her a bit and show her you are in control of the situation and so on. As I said I don't want to become a pick-up artist or play the game. I just wouldn't want to change my behaviour to that direction, ever. Maybe I'm in the wrong thread, I don't know. Maybe this is a pick-up artist thread.
I think fanatacist described it more accurately. I know of all these things but I still can't change the first thing, my mindset. I give up way too easily after my failures, telling myself it doesn't matter and that I don't want to socialize with women anyway. I've tried changing this, but I'm weak and stupid. Whenever I start a conversation with a new girl, the memory of my last failure is etched into my brain.
Try some self-hypnotizing programs, i know it sounds really corny, but i've actually done it like a self-meditation every night before i sleep for a good iono 6month? 1 year? and it REALLY does help. Getting confidence is a gradual process, not something you can get in a day and lose in the other.
On November 10 2009 06:57 KurtistheTurtle wrote: she is. after i distanced myself things went back to business as usual. she honestly does like him, I'm worried that when she comes back these situations might resurface and if I'm aware of it but haven't said anything..
So basically, the potential just exists there for her to always like you more. You should make sure he completely loves her and then blackmail him for stuff. Simple things like money and food. Just make it clear that if the gifts stop coming then you're gonna live with his girlfriend (and remind him of higher potential).
I guess if she likes him it still doesn't even matter. She was crying over you LOL
LOL thats the first thing you think of? you would
thing is i could just be interpreting this completely wrong. im concerned cuz this is something i don't try to look for. I don't know what to think or what details to really consider.. hence this question
Right now I am in college, and I won't consider myself to be too socially awkward, i mean I ain't some real smooth talker but i can hold a conversation, but sometimes i can get quiet in a group. In parties i obviously become more social but nvm. the thing is strange that i have quite a few female friends - and they will say hi to me while maintaining eye contact me so I shouldnt think I feel like a creeper to them, and I do have many such female friends, but I cant seem to get any decent girl to progress to the next level with me. The girls which hit on me are often either not that physically desirable, or not my type (not that fun-loving). Whats causing this, or i really do need to just be more friendly than i am right now? Looks shouldnt be an issue, however I do wear glasses all the time. =/
and another question: what other indicator of interests other than initiating physical contact like light punching or touching are there? Whats the difference between simply being friendly or something more (i.e. calling you everytime she sees you. does that count?)
On November 10 2009 10:31 bloopie wrote: and another question: what other indicator of interests other than initiating physical contact like light punching or touching are there? Whats the difference between simply being friendly or something more (i.e. calling you everytime she sees you. does that count?)
Disregard IOIs altogether. It's obsolete. Not only that but it's so needy... Yeah, she may laugh at your joke, or give you her number, or flick her hair, or touch your shoulder but that doesn't mean squat. I see too many guys get these "IOI highs" when they're so pleased with themselves that they got a number or something like that. Only, that it doesn't get them laid. Girl's react differently when they like a guy. They may not even know how to SHOW that they like them... And guys who WAIT for signals might take so long to act that it bores the girl and she moves on. So never wait for signals... Always lead.
Looking for IOIs is just another symptom of neediness. You're so worried about her liking you, and trying to impress her that you pay attention to trivial shit like this and wonder why you don't know what to say next. Because you're in your head, and so focused on this and on trying to impress her instead of LISTENING! Not only that but what happens when she doesn't give you a so called IOI? Do you run away with your tail in between your legs. Do you give up? Do you become anxious and scared? Think about it. If you're talking to your best friend do you say to yourself, "Oh no, he didn't laugh at my joke, or, he didn't touch me on my shoulder. Fuck!" and then sulk away right afterwards? NO. But that's exactly how too many guys interact with women. YOU should be the source of fun and good vibes. It doesn't matter what she thinks about you, or how she reacts. Don't even pay attention to it.
Anyways, this isn't really an IOI but there are certain highpoints in any interaction. Again, especially in the beginning, it's not only useless, but downright harmful to focus on this. Instead you should be focusing on projecting a vibe that's non-needy, energetic and fun. Simple. And also on conversation. There are four highpoints that I always notice in interactions (You'll start to notice it only after experience). They are mutual connection; i.e. when she relates to you. She could relate to you on mundane things--you: "I hate the feeling I get after eating mcdonalds, I feel so greasy", her: "oh, I know what you mean! blah blah" or on deeper values. When she's excited about agreeing then that's highpoint number 1. Second one is an emotional high. When you both are having fun and she's grabbing you, and the emotions are just palpable. Third is when SHE foreshadows an activity i.e. "I love sushi, we should totally go get some sometime". And lastly, when she insinuates something sexually. An example from a bar I went to: I said, "I actually can't take that much alochol, I suck. Girl's like to take advantage of me all the time in fact, because I get wasted so easily" her: Yeahhh right! (with a smirk on her face)..... Do you wanna go get some drinks? (big grin on her face)
So there you have it. Being aware of those things only comes with the proper experience. It's useless to try and pay attention to them but it might be helpful to understand them a little. I don't wait for highpoints before acting. Never. I always lead. But highpoints just make it so much easier to lead, and escalate the interaction. So whenever I notice a highpoint I make SURE to capitalize on it and turn it into action. i.e.That girl in the last example? I didn't end up taking shots with her because her friend wanted to go to another place rather than take shots together. But I did facebook her immediately instead. In fact she came and looked for me before she and her friend left and made sure I had HER phone number. And she gave me a big hug before she left. Keep in mind, I just met this girl and I probably talked to her for 4 minutes at most. As soon as she left, we started texting back and forth and we set up a date.
Anyways, again, there are better and more useful things to focus on, like nonverbals and having a life.
So this girl I haven't talked to since like 3 months suddenly msg me and we talked for awhile. She's hot and I had nothing to lose so I thought why not follow the advise here (never did it before).
So I acted like I don't give a fuck and picked on her for all she said. Surprisingly enough for me I managed to pull out a "hahaha x" 85%~ of her msg's, and I didn't even had to compliment her one single time.
You guys are the best, this is gold.
PS. Should I wait for her msg me again or should I take the initiative next time?
Wait again. You're a busy guy and you don't have time to check if she's online to message her, and you don't really care either. If she confronts you about it, say that you rarely check your buddy list/friend list/whatever. You should message her once in a blue moon though. As your relationship gets closer, message her more to feign increased interest.
why do i sometimes feel like i'm the king of the world (feels like im high on life, no drugs used), and other times a lot of what other people say affect me? I think i might be bipolar.......O_O Is this normal?
On November 11 2009 06:38 YPang wrote: why do i sometimes feel like i'm the king of the world (feels like im high on life, no drugs used), and other times a lot of what other people say affect me? I think i might be bipolar.......O_O Is this normal?
I don't have any specific advice, but I can say I've felt like this before. Mainly it was really how I felt in the given situations. For example, if I'm with friends, I don't have to watch what I say (to an extent), or care about what they think. I know my current position, and unless something extreme happens, I doubt anything is going to change. As for other people, when I'm either making impressions, or fearing bad impressions with people I already know, that's when I pull back, and usually just let other people do stuff, they make the actions, I observe.
On November 11 2009 06:38 YPang wrote: why do i sometimes feel like i'm the king of the world (feels like im high on life, no drugs used), and other times a lot of what other people say affect me? I think i might be bipolar.......O_O Is this normal?
I don't have any specific advice, but I can say I've felt like this before. Mainly it was really how I felt in the given situations. For example, if I'm with friends, I don't have to watch what I say (to an extent), or care about what they think. I know my current position, and unless something extreme happens, I doubt anything is going to change. As for other people, when I'm either making impressions, or fearing bad impressions with people I already know, that's when I pull back, and usually just let other people do stuff, they make the actions, I observe.
i see, sometimes however, its not like that with me. If for example i'm extremely content about something, i say w/e and do w/e i want without really considering much. Other times i also feel this is when i'm extremely calm. But somewhere in the middle of being extremely energized and calm, is where i find myself "weak" if you will...
On November 11 2009 07:10 BackHo wrote: There is a hot girl who works at a Chinese takeaway but she is Asian and speaks very little English so our conversation is pretty much limited to I'd like fried noodles please. How do I game her with the minimal use of words?
I find it increasingly difficult to make girlfriends, especially when we have little overlaps in interests/hobbies/ways of speaking/etc (I like SC, they like online shopping). I'll say hi to plenty of girls and make chitchat (ie How was your break? What's new in life?), but there aren't any real icebreaker moments that bring us closer. What do I do?
Making chitchat isn't interesting to anyone, it's like filler talk between the real appeal of conversation. Putting some content in what you say (and maybe making it interesting from an objective stand point) helps attract others because they think you are interesting.
What qualifies the OP to start this topic besides reading a bunch of pickup forums and downloading torrents of pickup guide? I missed it in round 1 I guess.
would you consider a girl who talks to you about other guys and schoolwork as serious friend-zone? If so, there is 0 way of salvaging the situation? like theres this girl who (i think) used to be interested and i tried to play it cool and now the situation has changed to this. any advice?
EPT
