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LarJarsE's Attraction and Relationship advice Rd.2 - Page 8

Forum Index > General Forum
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Carthac
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States393 Posts
November 29 2009 01:14 GMT
#141
On November 29 2009 10:09 Frits wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 29 2009 09:58 Carthac wrote:
Hello Larjarse!

I am fine with conversation once the ball gets rolling, but I fail in the aspect of getting the opening topic started. there any general conversation starters you use? Perhaps a few you use at parties, around school, etc.

I understand setting has a lot to do with it, but in certain places, such as the grocery store, it is tough to get something going by asking about things such as food items :p



'Hi, how are you doing.'

Im serious, 'hi' has been scientifically proven to be the best opener for conversations.


I guess you like saying "hi" then leading into an uncomfortable silence lol
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-29 01:44:42
November 29 2009 01:27 GMT
#142
On November 29 2009 10:14 Carthac wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 29 2009 10:09 Frits wrote:
On November 29 2009 09:58 Carthac wrote:
Hello Larjarse!

I am fine with conversation once the ball gets rolling, but I fail in the aspect of getting the opening topic started. there any general conversation starters you use? Perhaps a few you use at parties, around school, etc.

I understand setting has a lot to do with it, but in certain places, such as the grocery store, it is tough to get something going by asking about things such as food items :p



'Hi, how are you doing.'

Im serious, 'hi' has been scientifically proven to be the best opener for conversations.


I guess you like saying "hi" then leading into an uncomfortable silence lol


If uncomfortable silences are the problem I don't see how advice on what to talk about are going to help, even if you think of things to keep the conversation going it's still gonna feel unnatural and awkward imo, because most of her answers are going to be short and uninteresting no matter what you're talking about. You said that once the conversation gets going you're fine, this is stating the obvious since if the conversation gets going you've already achieved your goal.

I could tell you to ask her where she's from, what she studies etc but these things are obvious. If you want to be the kind of guy who picks up chicks at the grocery store you're gonna have to change. To achieve this you're better off getting drunk, going to some party and talking to chicks till it feels natural. All you have to do to achieve this once or twice every week:

1. Find out where a party is.
2. Show up at friends with a case of beer (grolsch or heineken, anything else is unacceptable)
3. Drink beers but for gods sake not to the point of vomiting.
4. Go to party (at around 12 or 1 am).

-------
edit:

If you want to see what happens if you act as something that feels completely unnatural just look at this:

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/687101/373b797e/beste_verjaardagscadeau.html

You don't have to speak dutch to understand, at ~1:00 the chicks are supposed to judge on looks, not a single chick is interested just because he walked in like a douche, and that's how you will look if you try to initiate some kind of pickup schedule or whatever without the experience.
iloveambiguity
Profile Joined August 2009
United States81 Posts
November 29 2009 01:50 GMT
#143
On November 29 2009 10:27 Frits wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 29 2009 10:14 Carthac wrote:
On November 29 2009 10:09 Frits wrote:
On November 29 2009 09:58 Carthac wrote:
Hello Larjarse!

I am fine with conversation once the ball gets rolling, but I fail in the aspect of getting the opening topic started. there any general conversation starters you use? Perhaps a few you use at parties, around school, etc.

I understand setting has a lot to do with it, but in certain places, such as the grocery store, it is tough to get something going by asking about things such as food items :p



'Hi, how are you doing.'

Im serious, 'hi' has been scientifically proven to be the best opener for conversations.


I guess you like saying "hi" then leading into an uncomfortable silence lol


If uncomfortable silences are the problem I don't see how advice on what to talk about are going to help, even if you think of things to keep the conversation going it's still gonna feel unnatural and awkward imo, because most of her answers are going to be short and uninteresting no matter what you're talking about. You said that once the conversation gets going you're fine, this is stating the obvious since if the conversation gets going you've already achieved your goal.

I could tell you to ask her where she's from, what she studies etc but these things are obvious. If you want to be the kind of guy who picks up chicks at the grocery store you're gonna have to change. To achieve this you're better off getting drunk, going to some party and talking to chicks till it feels natural. All you have to do to achieve this once or twice every week:

1. Find out where a party is.
2. Show up at friends with a case of beer (grolsch or heineken, anything else is unacceptable)
3. Drink beers but for gods sake not to the point of vomiting.
4. Go to party (at around 12 or 1 am).

-------
edit:

If you want to see what happens if you act as something that feels completely unnatural just look at this:

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/687101/373b797e/beste_verjaardagscadeau.html

You don't have to speak dutch to understand, at ~1:00 the chicks are supposed to judge on looks, not a single chick is interested just because he walked in like a douche, and that's how you will look if you try to initiate some kind of pickup schedule or whatever without the experience.

I like your satirical take on this thread. Notice how girls looked around and adjusted their vote accordingly, so like if one girl has an extremely aproving or disaproving attitude towards you, the others quickly follow
Carthac
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States393 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-29 01:54:39
November 29 2009 01:53 GMT
#144
On November 29 2009 10:27 Frits wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 29 2009 10:14 Carthac wrote:
On November 29 2009 10:09 Frits wrote:
On November 29 2009 09:58 Carthac wrote:
Hello Larjarse!

I am fine with conversation once the ball gets rolling, but I fail in the aspect of getting the opening topic started. there any general conversation starters you use? Perhaps a few you use at parties, around school, etc.

I understand setting has a lot to do with it, but in certain places, such as the grocery store, it is tough to get something going by asking about things such as food items :p



'Hi, how are you doing.'

Im serious, 'hi' has been scientifically proven to be the best opener for conversations.


I guess you like saying "hi" then leading into an uncomfortable silence lol


If uncomfortable silences are the problem I don't see how advice on what to talk about are going to help, even if you think of things to keep the conversation going it's still gonna feel unnatural and awkward imo, because most of her answers are going to be short and uninteresting no matter what you're talking about. You said that once the conversation gets going you're fine, this is stating the obvious since if the conversation gets going you've already achieved your goal.

I could tell you to ask her where she's from, what she studies etc but these things are obvious. If you want to be the kind of guy who picks up chicks at the grocery store you're gonna have to change. To achieve this you're better off getting drunk, going to some party and talking to chicks till it feels natural. All you have to do to achieve this once or twice every week:

1. Find out where a party is.
2. Show up at friends with a case of beer (grolsch or heineken, anything else is unacceptable)
3. Drink beers but for gods sake not to the point of vomiting.
4. Go to party (at around 12 or 1 am).

-------
edit:

If you want to see what happens if you act as something that feels completely unnatural just look at this:

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/687101/373b797e/beste_verjaardagscadeau.html

You don't have to speak dutch to understand, at ~1:00 the chicks are supposed to judge on looks, not a single chick is interested just because he walked in like a douche, and that's how you will look if you try to initiate some kind of pickup schedule or whatever without the experience.


Yep, I understand all of that...

My question was more of topics to begin talking about. Ex: She has a dog, so ask what type it is.

I was talking about the uncomfortable silence part in the response since you posted "start with hi."
dreamerra
Profile Joined November 2009
United States1 Post
November 29 2009 01:55 GMT
#145
Here's a serious question:

Guy has a decent paying job (250K+) and is a few years post-college. His job requires long hours at work on the weekdays and unpredictable weekend work. His relationships, since high school, have been fairly superficial (longest: 2 months) and he has generally broken off his relationships before they have gotten too personal.

He's unclear why he has hesitations about taking relationships to the next level, both physically and emotionally, and it isn't helped by the fact that the majority of girls he's dated since he's graduated have been secretaries/support staff. It is also not helpful that he finds gaming more interesting than going shopping or walking around the pier. How should this guy widen his social circle, find someone who understands the fun in gaming, and/or get more comfortable with commitment?
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-29 02:56:23
November 29 2009 02:05 GMT
#146
On November 29 2009 10:53 Carthac wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 29 2009 10:27 Frits wrote:
On November 29 2009 10:14 Carthac wrote:
On November 29 2009 10:09 Frits wrote:
On November 29 2009 09:58 Carthac wrote:
Hello Larjarse!

I am fine with conversation once the ball gets rolling, but I fail in the aspect of getting the opening topic started. there any general conversation starters you use? Perhaps a few you use at parties, around school, etc.

I understand setting has a lot to do with it, but in certain places, such as the grocery store, it is tough to get something going by asking about things such as food items :p



'Hi, how are you doing.'

Im serious, 'hi' has been scientifically proven to be the best opener for conversations.


I guess you like saying "hi" then leading into an uncomfortable silence lol


If uncomfortable silences are the problem I don't see how advice on what to talk about are going to help, even if you think of things to keep the conversation going it's still gonna feel unnatural and awkward imo, because most of her answers are going to be short and uninteresting no matter what you're talking about. You said that once the conversation gets going you're fine, this is stating the obvious since if the conversation gets going you've already achieved your goal.

I could tell you to ask her where she's from, what she studies etc but these things are obvious. If you want to be the kind of guy who picks up chicks at the grocery store you're gonna have to change. To achieve this you're better off getting drunk, going to some party and talking to chicks till it feels natural. All you have to do to achieve this once or twice every week:

1. Find out where a party is.
2. Show up at friends with a case of beer (grolsch or heineken, anything else is unacceptable)
3. Drink beers but for gods sake not to the point of vomiting.
4. Go to party (at around 12 or 1 am).

-------
edit:

If you want to see what happens if you act as something that feels completely unnatural just look at this:

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/687101/373b797e/beste_verjaardagscadeau.html

You don't have to speak dutch to understand, at ~1:00 the chicks are supposed to judge on looks, not a single chick is interested just because he walked in like a douche, and that's how you will look if you try to initiate some kind of pickup schedule or whatever without the experience.


Yep, I understand all of that...

My question was more of topics to begin talking about. Ex: She has a dog, so ask what type it is.

I was talking about the uncomfortable silence part in the response since you posted "start with hi."


Yeah and Im saying that if those questions and topics don't come natural don't even try, nothing that someone over the internet will say is going to help, be more sociable in general, which will give you an idea of what to talk about. If you're gonna use our advice you'll just be reciting a list. I think you're gonna have to accept that some chicks won't be interested in you no no matter what you do. Imagine you're some chick and a guy comes up to you, are you really going to care about how he starts a conversation with you? It doesn't matter dude, you are who you are, increase your chances of meeting someone by meeting more people, not by becoming better at it.

My whole point here is that this thread should be about doing things that enables you to meet more people, which is the indirect approach. I don't claim to be some pickup expert, because I'm not, I'm probably like a lot of people here, which is why you should listen to me, and not people who claim to be pickup experts.

On November 29 2009 10:50 iloveambiguity wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 29 2009 10:27 Frits wrote:
On November 29 2009 10:14 Carthac wrote:
On November 29 2009 10:09 Frits wrote:
On November 29 2009 09:58 Carthac wrote:
Hello Larjarse!

I am fine with conversation once the ball gets rolling, but I fail in the aspect of getting the opening topic started. there any general conversation starters you use? Perhaps a few you use at parties, around school, etc.

I understand setting has a lot to do with it, but in certain places, such as the grocery store, it is tough to get something going by asking about things such as food items :p



'Hi, how are you doing.'

Im serious, 'hi' has been scientifically proven to be the best opener for conversations.


I guess you like saying "hi" then leading into an uncomfortable silence lol


If uncomfortable silences are the problem I don't see how advice on what to talk about are going to help, even if you think of things to keep the conversation going it's still gonna feel unnatural and awkward imo, because most of her answers are going to be short and uninteresting no matter what you're talking about. You said that once the conversation gets going you're fine, this is stating the obvious since if the conversation gets going you've already achieved your goal.

I could tell you to ask her where she's from, what she studies etc but these things are obvious. If you want to be the kind of guy who picks up chicks at the grocery store you're gonna have to change. To achieve this you're better off getting drunk, going to some party and talking to chicks till it feels natural. All you have to do to achieve this once or twice every week:

1. Find out where a party is.
2. Show up at friends with a case of beer (grolsch or heineken, anything else is unacceptable)
3. Drink beers but for gods sake not to the point of vomiting.
4. Go to party (at around 12 or 1 am).

-------
edit:

If you want to see what happens if you act as something that feels completely unnatural just look at this:

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/687101/373b797e/beste_verjaardagscadeau.html

You don't have to speak dutch to understand, at ~1:00 the chicks are supposed to judge on looks, not a single chick is interested just because he walked in like a douche, and that's how you will look if you try to initiate some kind of pickup schedule or whatever without the experience.

I like your satirical take on this thread. Notice how girls looked around and adjusted their vote accordingly, so like if one girl has an extremely aproving or disaproving attitude towards you, the others quickly follow


haha yeah, perfect example of why you need a wingman


I realize that I am playing devil's advocate here since Im not telling people what they want to hear, which incidentally is why the self proclaimed pickup experts are usually so popular. All Im trying to do however is show people a more objective view on the whole thing. Im sure the 'experts' have the best intentions, but you should wonder if their advice is really compatible with you.
Carthac
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States393 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-29 02:41:54
November 29 2009 02:38 GMT
#147
edit: Nvm, ima just stop posting...
Fr33t
Profile Joined June 2008
United States1128 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-29 05:39:41
November 29 2009 05:39 GMT
#148
On November 29 2009 09:16 iloveambiguity wrote:
Also, uhm, the reason why i like prostitutes is because it is easy to convince them to play dead while i have sex with them. How do i communicate it to a gf that i am a necrophiliac?

Hahahahaha, this had me laughing for a minute straight after reading the rest of the post.
"Wow you could literally transport Lomo's face to a girl and the result would be pretty deceptive."
LarJarsE
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States1378 Posts
November 29 2009 06:11 GMT
#149
On November 28 2009 23:15 Emon_ wrote:
LarJarse is making this more complicated than it needs to be and I would think twice before following anything he has to say. This is a personal issue and should be dealt by yourself and with people who you trust. This guy is reluctant to even talk about himself, why should he be giving advice to anyone on confidence or women?


How am I making it complicated? If people want to ask a question they can ask, it is very straightforward. Due to the nature of this website, I wont post stories or anything about myself because I will be wasting my time. There will be more trolls than people interested and the topic wont even be worth reading. Some people have PMed me and I did relate some of their experiences to experiences I have had. I will be more personal in am PM if I can tell the person messaging me is being real; they are generally more specific. If you want to participate, please do, but don't waste your time just to debunk the entire discussion.
since 98'
iloveambiguity
Profile Joined August 2009
United States81 Posts
November 29 2009 14:09 GMT
#150
On November 29 2009 14:39 Fr33t wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 29 2009 09:16 iloveambiguity wrote:
Also, uhm, the reason why i like prostitutes is because it is easy to convince them to play dead while i have sex with them. How do i communicate it to a gf that i am a necrophiliac?

Hahahahaha, this had me laughing for a minute straight after reading the rest of the post.

I am really not joking. I tried to talk to a psychologist, but we never resolved my problem to stare into mirrors all the time, let alone my necrophilia.
fanatacist
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
10319 Posts
November 29 2009 18:05 GMT
#151
"Im sure the 'experts' have the best intentions, but you should wonder if their advice is really compatible with you."

Frits you assume that people asking advice can't discern what advice is good or bad for them, or what advice they want or do not want to do.
Peace~
Carthac
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States393 Posts
November 29 2009 18:07 GMT
#152
On November 29 2009 23:09 iloveambiguity wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 29 2009 14:39 Fr33t wrote:
On November 29 2009 09:16 iloveambiguity wrote:
Also, uhm, the reason why i like prostitutes is because it is easy to convince them to play dead while i have sex with them. How do i communicate it to a gf that i am a necrophiliac?

Hahahahaha, this had me laughing for a minute straight after reading the rest of the post.

I am really not joking. I tried to talk to a psychologist, but we never resolved my problem to stare into mirrors all the time, let alone my necrophilia.


I thought TL was against trolls?
iloveambiguity
Profile Joined August 2009
United States81 Posts
November 30 2009 06:32 GMT
#153
On November 30 2009 03:07 Carthac wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 29 2009 23:09 iloveambiguity wrote:
On November 29 2009 14:39 Fr33t wrote:
On November 29 2009 09:16 iloveambiguity wrote:
Also, uhm, the reason why i like prostitutes is because it is easy to convince them to play dead while i have sex with them. How do i communicate it to a gf that i am a necrophiliac?

Hahahahaha, this had me laughing for a minute straight after reading the rest of the post.

I am really not joking. I tried to talk to a psychologist, but we never resolved my problem to stare into mirrors all the time, let alone my necrophilia.


I thought TL was against trolls?

I am not trolling... This is actually my question. How can u convince your gf to have sex with you while remaining inanimate? All i see is that she would freak and dump.
Nevuk
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States16280 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-30 06:58:21
November 30 2009 06:34 GMT
#154
On November 30 2009 15:32 iloveambiguity wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2009 03:07 Carthac wrote:
On November 29 2009 23:09 iloveambiguity wrote:
On November 29 2009 14:39 Fr33t wrote:
On November 29 2009 09:16 iloveambiguity wrote:
Also, uhm, the reason why i like prostitutes is because it is easy to convince them to play dead while i have sex with them. How do i communicate it to a gf that i am a necrophiliac?

Hahahahaha, this had me laughing for a minute straight after reading the rest of the post.

I am really not joking. I tried to talk to a psychologist, but we never resolved my problem to stare into mirrors all the time, let alone my necrophilia.


I thought TL was against trolls?

I am not trolling... This is actually my question. How can u convince your gf to have sex with you while remaining inanimate? All i see is that she would freak and dump.

Ever read Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections?

There is a character in there who will only have sex with his wife is she is like this. She complies.

Edit : Not that it really helps you, but stuff like this happens. Whether he is trolling or not is a different story. (Also, it's due to some dominance/sexual repression issue).
iloveambiguity
Profile Joined August 2009
United States81 Posts
November 30 2009 18:11 GMT
#155
On November 30 2009 15:34 Nevuk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2009 15:32 iloveambiguity wrote:
On November 30 2009 03:07 Carthac wrote:
On November 29 2009 23:09 iloveambiguity wrote:
On November 29 2009 14:39 Fr33t wrote:
On November 29 2009 09:16 iloveambiguity wrote:
Also, uhm, the reason why i like prostitutes is because it is easy to convince them to play dead while i have sex with them. How do i communicate it to a gf that i am a necrophiliac?

Hahahahaha, this had me laughing for a minute straight after reading the rest of the post.

I am really not joking. I tried to talk to a psychologist, but we never resolved my problem to stare into mirrors all the time, let alone my necrophilia.


I thought TL was against trolls?

I am not trolling... This is actually my question. How can u convince your gf to have sex with you while remaining inanimate? All i see is that she would freak and dump.

Ever read Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections?

There is a character in there who will only have sex with his wife is she is like this. She complies.

Edit : Not that it really helps you, but stuff like this happens. Whether he is trolling or not is a different story. (Also, it's due to some dominance/sexual repression issue).

So I guess I need to get married, and then bring it up...
iloveambiguity
Profile Joined August 2009
United States81 Posts
November 30 2009 18:31 GMT
#156
Sounds like a good book, anyone has an electronic link? The wiki plot summary sounded like the kind of crap my family has to deal with...
iloveambiguity
Profile Joined August 2009
United States81 Posts
November 30 2009 18:38 GMT
#157

Also, it's due to some dominance/sexual repression issue).

Like what do you have in mind? does that help if i tell u that i used to live alone with my sick mother, and one time when i was 14 i tried to force myself on her?
iloveambiguity
Profile Joined August 2009
United States81 Posts
November 30 2009 23:04 GMT
#158
On November 30 2009 15:34 Nevuk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2009 15:32 iloveambiguity wrote:
On November 30 2009 03:07 Carthac wrote:
On November 29 2009 23:09 iloveambiguity wrote:
On November 29 2009 14:39 Fr33t wrote:
On November 29 2009 09:16 iloveambiguity wrote:
Also, uhm, the reason why i like prostitutes is because it is easy to convince them to play dead while i have sex with them. How do i communicate it to a gf that i am a necrophiliac?

Hahahahaha, this had me laughing for a minute straight after reading the rest of the post.

I am really not joking. I tried to talk to a psychologist, but we never resolved my problem to stare into mirrors all the time, let alone my necrophilia.


I thought TL was against trolls?

I am not trolling... This is actually my question. How can u convince your gf to have sex with you while remaining inanimate? All i see is that she would freak and dump.

Ever read Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections?

There is a character in there who will only have sex with his wife is she is like this. She complies.

Edit : Not that it really helps you, but stuff like this happens. Whether he is trolling or not is a different story. (Also, it's due to some dominance/sexual repression issue).

I started reading the book. Funny thing is, i repeatedly find myself in the description of Chip. The first 45 pages sucked me in, will read the rest asap. Thx for mentioning it.
iloveambiguity
Profile Joined August 2009
United States81 Posts
December 03 2009 04:10 GMT
#159
Did I murder this thread unwittingly?
ghostWriter
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States3302 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-03 04:11:49
December 03 2009 04:11 GMT
#160
On December 03 2009 13:10 iloveambiguity wrote:
Did I murder this thread unwittingly?


Maybe, but I guess you can have sex with it now.
Sullifam
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