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Carthac
United States393 Posts
On November 29 2009 10:09 Frits wrote: 'Hi, how are you doing.' Im serious, 'hi' has been scientifically proven to be the best opener for conversations. I guess you like saying "hi" then leading into an uncomfortable silence lol | ||
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Frits
11782 Posts
On November 29 2009 10:14 Carthac wrote: I guess you like saying "hi" then leading into an uncomfortable silence lol If uncomfortable silences are the problem I don't see how advice on what to talk about are going to help, even if you think of things to keep the conversation going it's still gonna feel unnatural and awkward imo, because most of her answers are going to be short and uninteresting no matter what you're talking about. You said that once the conversation gets going you're fine, this is stating the obvious since if the conversation gets going you've already achieved your goal. I could tell you to ask her where she's from, what she studies etc but these things are obvious. If you want to be the kind of guy who picks up chicks at the grocery store you're gonna have to change. To achieve this you're better off getting drunk, going to some party and talking to chicks till it feels natural. All you have to do to achieve this once or twice every week: 1. Find out where a party is. 2. Show up at friends with a case of beer (grolsch or heineken, anything else is unacceptable) 3. Drink beers but for gods sake not to the point of vomiting. 4. Go to party (at around 12 or 1 am). ------- edit: If you want to see what happens if you act as something that feels completely unnatural just look at this: http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/687101/373b797e/beste_verjaardagscadeau.html You don't have to speak dutch to understand, at ~1:00 the chicks are supposed to judge on looks, not a single chick is interested just because he walked in like a douche, and that's how you will look if you try to initiate some kind of pickup schedule or whatever without the experience. | ||
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iloveambiguity
United States81 Posts
On November 29 2009 10:27 Frits wrote: If uncomfortable silences are the problem I don't see how advice on what to talk about are going to help, even if you think of things to keep the conversation going it's still gonna feel unnatural and awkward imo, because most of her answers are going to be short and uninteresting no matter what you're talking about. You said that once the conversation gets going you're fine, this is stating the obvious since if the conversation gets going you've already achieved your goal. I could tell you to ask her where she's from, what she studies etc but these things are obvious. If you want to be the kind of guy who picks up chicks at the grocery store you're gonna have to change. To achieve this you're better off getting drunk, going to some party and talking to chicks till it feels natural. All you have to do to achieve this once or twice every week: 1. Find out where a party is. 2. Show up at friends with a case of beer (grolsch or heineken, anything else is unacceptable) 3. Drink beers but for gods sake not to the point of vomiting. 4. Go to party (at around 12 or 1 am). ------- edit: If you want to see what happens if you act as something that feels completely unnatural just look at this: http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/687101/373b797e/beste_verjaardagscadeau.html You don't have to speak dutch to understand, at ~1:00 the chicks are supposed to judge on looks, not a single chick is interested just because he walked in like a douche, and that's how you will look if you try to initiate some kind of pickup schedule or whatever without the experience. I like your satirical take on this thread. Notice how girls looked around and adjusted their vote accordingly, so like if one girl has an extremely aproving or disaproving attitude towards you, the others quickly follow | ||
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Carthac
United States393 Posts
On November 29 2009 10:27 Frits wrote: If uncomfortable silences are the problem I don't see how advice on what to talk about are going to help, even if you think of things to keep the conversation going it's still gonna feel unnatural and awkward imo, because most of her answers are going to be short and uninteresting no matter what you're talking about. You said that once the conversation gets going you're fine, this is stating the obvious since if the conversation gets going you've already achieved your goal. I could tell you to ask her where she's from, what she studies etc but these things are obvious. If you want to be the kind of guy who picks up chicks at the grocery store you're gonna have to change. To achieve this you're better off getting drunk, going to some party and talking to chicks till it feels natural. All you have to do to achieve this once or twice every week: 1. Find out where a party is. 2. Show up at friends with a case of beer (grolsch or heineken, anything else is unacceptable) 3. Drink beers but for gods sake not to the point of vomiting. 4. Go to party (at around 12 or 1 am). ------- edit: If you want to see what happens if you act as something that feels completely unnatural just look at this: http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/687101/373b797e/beste_verjaardagscadeau.html You don't have to speak dutch to understand, at ~1:00 the chicks are supposed to judge on looks, not a single chick is interested just because he walked in like a douche, and that's how you will look if you try to initiate some kind of pickup schedule or whatever without the experience. Yep, I understand all of that... My question was more of topics to begin talking about. Ex: She has a dog, so ask what type it is. I was talking about the uncomfortable silence part in the response since you posted "start with hi." | ||
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dreamerra
United States1 Post
Guy has a decent paying job (250K+) and is a few years post-college. His job requires long hours at work on the weekdays and unpredictable weekend work. His relationships, since high school, have been fairly superficial (longest: 2 months) and he has generally broken off his relationships before they have gotten too personal. He's unclear why he has hesitations about taking relationships to the next level, both physically and emotionally, and it isn't helped by the fact that the majority of girls he's dated since he's graduated have been secretaries/support staff. It is also not helpful that he finds gaming more interesting than going shopping or walking around the pier. How should this guy widen his social circle, find someone who understands the fun in gaming, and/or get more comfortable with commitment? | ||
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Frits
11782 Posts
On November 29 2009 10:53 Carthac wrote: Yep, I understand all of that... My question was more of topics to begin talking about. Ex: She has a dog, so ask what type it is. I was talking about the uncomfortable silence part in the response since you posted "start with hi." Yeah and Im saying that if those questions and topics don't come natural don't even try, nothing that someone over the internet will say is going to help, be more sociable in general, which will give you an idea of what to talk about. If you're gonna use our advice you'll just be reciting a list. I think you're gonna have to accept that some chicks won't be interested in you no no matter what you do. Imagine you're some chick and a guy comes up to you, are you really going to care about how he starts a conversation with you? It doesn't matter dude, you are who you are, increase your chances of meeting someone by meeting more people, not by becoming better at it. My whole point here is that this thread should be about doing things that enables you to meet more people, which is the indirect approach. I don't claim to be some pickup expert, because I'm not, I'm probably like a lot of people here, which is why you should listen to me, and not people who claim to be pickup experts. On November 29 2009 10:50 iloveambiguity wrote: I like your satirical take on this thread. Notice how girls looked around and adjusted their vote accordingly, so like if one girl has an extremely aproving or disaproving attitude towards you, the others quickly follow haha yeah, perfect example of why you need a wingman I realize that I am playing devil's advocate here since Im not telling people what they want to hear, which incidentally is why the self proclaimed pickup experts are usually so popular. All Im trying to do however is show people a more objective view on the whole thing. Im sure the 'experts' have the best intentions, but you should wonder if their advice is really compatible with you. | ||
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Carthac
United States393 Posts
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Fr33t
United States1128 Posts
On November 29 2009 09:16 iloveambiguity wrote: Also, uhm, the reason why i like prostitutes is because it is easy to convince them to play dead while i have sex with them. How do i communicate it to a gf that i am a necrophiliac? Hahahahaha, this had me laughing for a minute straight after reading the rest of the post. | ||
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LarJarsE
United States1378 Posts
On November 28 2009 23:15 Emon_ wrote: LarJarse is making this more complicated than it needs to be and I would think twice before following anything he has to say. This is a personal issue and should be dealt by yourself and with people who you trust. This guy is reluctant to even talk about himself, why should he be giving advice to anyone on confidence or women? How am I making it complicated? If people want to ask a question they can ask, it is very straightforward. Due to the nature of this website, I wont post stories or anything about myself because I will be wasting my time. There will be more trolls than people interested and the topic wont even be worth reading. Some people have PMed me and I did relate some of their experiences to experiences I have had. I will be more personal in am PM if I can tell the person messaging me is being real; they are generally more specific. If you want to participate, please do, but don't waste your time just to debunk the entire discussion. | ||
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iloveambiguity
United States81 Posts
On November 29 2009 14:39 Fr33t wrote: Hahahahaha, this had me laughing for a minute straight after reading the rest of the post. I am really not joking. I tried to talk to a psychologist, but we never resolved my problem to stare into mirrors all the time, let alone my necrophilia. | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
Frits you assume that people asking advice can't discern what advice is good or bad for them, or what advice they want or do not want to do. | ||
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Carthac
United States393 Posts
On November 29 2009 23:09 iloveambiguity wrote: I am really not joking. I tried to talk to a psychologist, but we never resolved my problem to stare into mirrors all the time, let alone my necrophilia. I thought TL was against trolls? | ||
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iloveambiguity
United States81 Posts
I am not trolling... This is actually my question. How can u convince your gf to have sex with you while remaining inanimate? All i see is that she would freak and dump. | ||
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Nevuk
United States16280 Posts
On November 30 2009 15:32 iloveambiguity wrote: I am not trolling... This is actually my question. How can u convince your gf to have sex with you while remaining inanimate? All i see is that she would freak and dump. Ever read Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections? There is a character in there who will only have sex with his wife is she is like this. She complies. Edit : Not that it really helps you, but stuff like this happens. Whether he is trolling or not is a different story. (Also, it's due to some dominance/sexual repression issue). | ||
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iloveambiguity
United States81 Posts
On November 30 2009 15:34 Nevuk wrote: Ever read Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections? There is a character in there who will only have sex with his wife is she is like this. She complies. Edit : Not that it really helps you, but stuff like this happens. Whether he is trolling or not is a different story. (Also, it's due to some dominance/sexual repression issue). So I guess I need to get married, and then bring it up... | ||
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iloveambiguity
United States81 Posts
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iloveambiguity
United States81 Posts
Also, it's due to some dominance/sexual repression issue). Like what do you have in mind? does that help if i tell u that i used to live alone with my sick mother, and one time when i was 14 i tried to force myself on her? | ||
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iloveambiguity
United States81 Posts
On November 30 2009 15:34 Nevuk wrote: Ever read Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections? There is a character in there who will only have sex with his wife is she is like this. She complies. Edit : Not that it really helps you, but stuff like this happens. Whether he is trolling or not is a different story. (Also, it's due to some dominance/sexual repression issue). I started reading the book. Funny thing is, i repeatedly find myself in the description of Chip. The first 45 pages sucked me in, will read the rest asap. Thx for mentioning it. | ||
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iloveambiguity
United States81 Posts
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ghostWriter
United States3302 Posts
On December 03 2009 13:10 iloveambiguity wrote: Did I murder this thread unwittingly? Maybe, but I guess you can have sex with it now. | ||
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