EPTOn December 07 2009 07:39 keepITup wrote:
ok so this girl i went to elementary school with found me on fb and lately we've been talking a lot and the signals are so obvious it's basically a sure thing.
im just kind of nervous about meeting her in person (she lives nearby). i rarely have a car to drive and neither does she. i was thinking about just going with a couple of my really good friends and going out to eat (like we usually do) and just pick her up and have a good time (hopefully).
iono, would that be a bad move?
ok so this girl i went to elementary school with found me on fb and lately we've been talking a lot and the signals are so obvious it's basically a sure thing.
im just kind of nervous about meeting her in person (she lives nearby). i rarely have a car to drive and neither does she. i was thinking about just going with a couple of my really good friends and going out to eat (like we usually do) and just pick her up and have a good time (hopefully).
iono, would that be a bad move?
I know many cases like yours where the guy thinks 'its a sure thing' and then fails miserably because of various reasons - often overinterpretation of said signals and lack of skills/ knowledge.
To answer your question :
Key to succes with interaction with others is composed of these things :
a) Knowing yourself. Your limitations as well as strengts as well as situation you are and all other factors like your current reputation and everything else that is related. That can be really a lot of things , knowing them is a lot.
b) Correct judgement of the situation . Its succes is based on a) completness. You see - if you know your situation in and out then u usually are able to make a whole lot better decisions.
c) Acceptence of yourself. If you don`t accept yourself then its the first topic you want to work on. You wanna feel good with yourself. You wanna know that you are a dude YOU like and respect as well as love to be with. You want this to be honest statements , its your best investment.
d) Skills. It requires you to be skilled - which means that you are able to be in touch with the situation and adjust accordingly , when you r really good you are rather creaiting the situation than adjusting to it. Tho take note that people can accept you regardless of what skills you have, they also have some level of these skills . More precisely it is usually being able to behave and talk in a manner and about matters in a way that others and you will like/love , respect.
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Imo its most times a bad idea to even propose a girl to go out with your and hers friends that one of you don`t know. Many girls find such behavior a sign of utter unconfidence , you are too shy to talk with her 1v1 .... its very rare for any girl to like it unless she`s similar and even then chances are low.
If u are shy and you get nervous, change it. Besides shyness isn`t ggnore , there are many other values that girls highly regard - mainly intelligence and humor + your reputation.
Anyways its all really not simple , there are many many details into this and ignorance of them may make you fail unless you prevent it somehow, which can be done with correct approach.
I would suggest to not get hasty. Take your time to study the situation - know as much about her, her personality, interests etc as possbile. There is a whole lot you can tell just by the way she talks, types. etc but again - leave it as 'i don`t know if its that way or that' if you aren`t sure. Really, false assumptions are the very last thing you want .
Still these are the next level of the structure. Your fundament is more important and it is your acceptance of yourself. It is if you like and respect yourself or not. If you do - it is seen in your behaviors, tone, eyes and it is liked. It is what is usually liked unless you like to be a hated, arrogant or sth but thats another topic.
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Your nervousness - if it appears then just talk normally like it wasn`t here. Treat it like a cold hands while playing sc - it might be annoying but you can still play unless you freak the fuck out and start thinking "OMG IM SO SCREWED , FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU " . If you just play the game without panicing about it you can do very well regardless.
I really suggest researching various dating materials like David De Angelo stuff etc. It will surely help you to better understand whats it all about.
I hope you will find it useful , if anything feel free to pm .
gl bro : )
