The Final Solution [The ultimate strategy] - Page 7

On June 10 2008 20:57 Smurg wrote:
It does mention APM...the faster you are the better. But yes, I must agree I find it insulting sometimes when people want to talk to me like they can beat the cannon.

But I've hung my cannons up for now, I haven't played a game of Brood War in over a year. I just have too many bitter memories of a time long gone, times when I used to call 'ReignHard' my friend...We were the best of friends, and then the worst of enemies.

I call it the 'great ReignHard incident of 2006'. It was a dark and stormy night, I sat with the flickering monitor light upon my face. Tonight I was blessed with the most stoic of faces you will ever see. Knowing that I had my strategy all sorted out, I knew I wouldn't lose.

ReignHard had suggested the map we play on...it was known as The Hidden Palace...he said to me "Wannsee this map?" I said "I don't need to see the map, I am confident."

Let us just say, that after 23 minutes of play, with my initial troops moving out and my population at a proud 42, I noticed something strange. The mineral patches only had 40000 on them, and not 50000 like they are supposed to. The geysers were maxed out, so in the end...there was just too much gas. The gas aided in the killing of many - it was a travesty.

Needless to say, it took me months to get over this incident, it shook me up so badly that I had to quit professional Broodwar. I still get the shakes today thinking about it.

1. Be Korean. If you aren't already Korean, you can convert by paying the 50 rupee fee.
2. Look through the bargain bins at Walmart or download it illegally from your favorite warez site.
3. Ressurect Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold and tell them that you will make fun of the way the dress if they don't win the match for you and if they dont they FAIL!!!
4. Connect to the internets.
5. Start a game.
6. Pick Zerg
7. Spam Hotkeys like shit to get all warmed up for a wank during, before or after a match
8. Spawn moar Overlords.
9. Harvest moar vespene gas.
10. Infinitely spawn Zerglings and Hydralisks.
11. Or, pick Terran.
12. Spam Hotkeys like shit to get all warmed up for a wank during, before or after a match but moar than usual
13. Watch SlayerS_boxer videos and suck his Korean dick with one hand stuffed down your pants playing with your stub.
14. Micro your SCVs then send them out into the field to sing and pick cotton.
15. Become an Gosu.
16. Avoid playing the Protoss unless you are a homosexual or wish to become one.
17. If you play Protoss you must construct additional pylons!
18. Sit in Public Chat 1 or sex chat and emote with the rest of the fucktards.
19. Play for 50 straight hours
20. Construct additional pylons.
21. ????
22. PROFIT!

1. Nigger-rig your CPU to turn on using an old, rusty Phillips screwdriver.
2. Wait 3 hours for your computer to load.
3. Open Starcraft.
4. Go to USEast and spam, "sum1 mak3 a diplo!1!"
5. Wait 3 moar hours for your gamelist to populate.
6. Fail to join games because of high latency.
7. Finally, you enter the game lobby.
8. Wait 2 moar hours for people to d/l the map.
9. Spam "gogogoggogogo" for 20 minutes until host is back.
10. Continuing spamming even after game is about to start.
11. Ask for mid.
12. Wait 3 hours for the map to max.
13. Mass.
14. Repeat steps 12 & 13 several moar times.
15. Screen turns colors, hit alt+tab
16. Wait for drop-screen to close.
17. Say "gg faggot" when you lose.
18. Save replay to impress people IRL. (not rly, lol)
19. ??????
20. PROFIT!!!1!11!

On June 10 2008 10:05 dost wrote:
Lol, awesome strategy.

hilarious thread. thought i'd bump it for new members or people that missed it first time around.

sorry if it was a bad bump

On June 11 2008 06:11 0xDEADBEEF wrote:
Also nice:

How to Win at Starcraft

How to Play Melee On Starcraft:


How to play UMS on Starcraft:

On June 11 2008 06:23 mikeymoo wrote:


Well done. If you bumped this with "lol", lots of people might get pissed.

On June 11 2008 07:55 SnowFantasy wrote:


Yea ill let the cat out of the bag.

I had my friend who doesn't visit TL much bump this thread for me. I figured if it was a shitty bump (not 100% sure on what makes it a 'good bump') he would get the flame and possible tempban instead of me.

I had my friend who doesn't visit TL much bump this thread for me. I figured if it was a shitty bump (not 100% sure on what makes it a 'good bump') he would get the flame and possible tempban instead of me.

On June 11 2008 14:52 mikeymoo wrote:

I should have figured the tone was too cautious.

On June 11 2008 15:48 lakrismamma wrote:


Here on TL you can never be cautious enough...

On June 12 2010 11:10 101toss wrote:
Sorry for the bump, but...

Photon cannons are extremely cost effective.

150 min cannon>3 vults
150 min cannon> over 9000 marines/lings/mutas

I also have trouble dealing with scouts

I want to know how to COUNTER this awesome strat