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A girl broke my heart - Page 2

Blogs > rotinegg
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lantz
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States762 Posts
February 15 2012 17:36 GMT
#21
In my experience, long distance relationships never work.

But I will pray that yours works!
VPCursed
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
1044 Posts
February 15 2012 17:36 GMT
#22
she broke up with you over a small lie, she's either crazy or shes lying.
TheKwas
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Iceland372 Posts
February 15 2012 17:49 GMT
#23
Either there is something wrong with that story, or your a hypocrite. You describe in 2 paragraphs how much u were jealous/"steamed" about her guy friend. Then you go on telling that you trusted her 100%. Something is wrong there.
If you trust her, dont be jealous, if you dont, leave her.

^^ this.

@ Azzur

It's not acceptable for other guys not to proposition her? How is that her fault?

Unless you have good reason to think she's encouraging guys to hit on her, laying the blame on her will make things worse for both parties. Instead, you should approach it like a problem for both of you and be supportive and trusting (WITHOUT getting angry, even if it's anger directed at the other guy).


Also, OP, you're 23 years old but from the way you describe your past adventures you make it sound like you've conquered every club and gotten to know every type of girl. You're still a youngin in the grand scheme of things, don't delude yourself into thinking that she was your one true soul mate or anything else stupid like that which young kids like to do while in love. You're still maturing and learning about yourself. Not too mention you've known each other for only 1 month in person (if I'm reading correctly): That's not a healthy foundation for a real romantic relationship, even if you have really compatible personalities.

I would suspect you're luckier in the long run for not committing yourself to a LDR for longer.
Our relationship was purely emotional and hardly physical, like in a Korean drama, where every time we hug, metaphorical orchestral music explodes onto the set and the angels cry.

One of the most common themes you'll hear from Koreans in their upper 20s/lower 30s is how childish and stupid Kdramas are. If your romance seems like a Kdrama, that's actually probably a bad sign.
Caliber
Profile Joined August 2010
United States598 Posts
February 15 2012 17:55 GMT
#24


does this song relate?
moktira *
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Ireland1548 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-15 18:02:49
February 15 2012 17:56 GMT
#25
On February 16 2012 02:36 needcomputer wrote:
In my experience, long distance relationships never work.

But I will pray that yours works!

Long distance can certainly be very hard but I don't think they never work, provided it's not permanent and both parties feel similarly I think it can work. At least I hope they can.

I think in this case though being jealous of someone who's obsessed with her, when you also said she'd never cheat on you, is going to put strain on the relationship, especially when he's a family friend. If you're certain she'd never cheat on you then you just need to get over it. Also I didn't like this statement:
On February 16 2012 01:50 rotinegg wrote:
She lost her dad to cancer this past winter, and I wanted to be that one person in her life that she could go to.

You can certainly help but viewing it like this does not seem healthy.

If you've already written stuff for her, and she still feels strongly towards you however, I'm sure the two of you can get past this.

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
If in doubt, differentiate and set equal to zero
rotinegg
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States1719 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-23 01:39:42
February 15 2012 17:57 GMT
#26
Translator
ZeromuS
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Canada13410 Posts
February 15 2012 18:02 GMT
#27
On February 16 2012 02:57 rotinegg wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 16 2012 02:49 TheKwas wrote:
One of the most common themes you'll hear from Koreans in their upper 20s/lower 30s is how childish and stupid Kdramas are. If your romance seems like a Kdrama, that's actually probably a bad sign.

It's hard to make a sweeping generalization like that, drama-like romance is actually more common than you would think in Korea. I've had a few that were like it, although not to that extent, and while some were childish and stupid in my teens, some were actually beautiful and a lot more fulfilling than the more physical romances I've had in the US


If its really meant to be she will cool down and then you might have another chance. If you can talk to her again, explain how you bought stuff and just ask her if she still wants it or not too.

Whether you stay together or not in the long run you gotta figure out what to do with that stuff you have and since it was for her she might still appreciate it? Its not like you can give it to someone else for the most part. But sending it without her permission at this point would be creepy.

Alternative Kdrama situation:

Get on a plane show up at her place with the stuff and the Kdrama will have a beautiful ending. First she'll slap you then you'll leave the stuff on the porch, get drunk at a bar. She'll open the door after crying find the stuff realise she loves you and she will search for your broken drunk ass to comfort you.

Fast forward 5 years and a little baby is being cute and you two are talking to some friends about your story over wine at lunch or coffee in the morning.

-scene end-
StrategyRTS forever | @ZeromuS_plays | www.twitch.tv/Zeromus_
Seeker *
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
Where dat snitch at?37096 Posts
February 15 2012 18:06 GMT
#28
Holy hell that sucks man

We're here for you though!
ModeratorPeople ask me, "Seeker, what are you seeking?" My answer? "Sleep, damn it! Always sleep!"
TL+ Member
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9174 Posts
February 15 2012 18:19 GMT
#29
On February 16 2012 02:36 VPCursed wrote:
she broke up with you over a small lie, she's either crazy or shes lying.

She sounds normal, it's the OP who's needier than most women. Getting jealous over a stalker she kept turning down was the best way to lose her.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
Xiron
Profile Joined August 2010
Germany1233 Posts
February 15 2012 18:24 GMT
#30
sad, sad story. T_T
"The way of life can be free and beautiful. But we have lost the way. " - Charlie Chaplin
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-15 18:44:31
February 15 2012 18:27 GMT
#31
Alas, FINALLY a juicy post-Valentine's Day girl blog! I've been waiting for this like all day man. I'm going to take a deep breath and enjoy this experience (at your emotional expense, regrettably) to the fullest. I have the energy to fill 10 girl blogs today but I'm going to invest it all here. JUST FOR YOU fellow eSports brother!

First, I'm going to start with:

On February 16 2012 02:13 Kipsate wrote:
This is like a kdrama

kdramas have happy endings

go for it, get yours.

On February 16 2012 02:30 Monokeros wrote:
looking forward to Season 2 when you get back together.

would read again.

On February 16 2012 02:35 seRapH wrote:
GET OUT OF MY MIND (to those two quoted above)


Exactly. This story has a Kdrama feel. Two individuals from different paths of life meet. There is a boy that's got a not-so-proud-past, that would be you sir (Mr. Clubrat) and then there's the perfect-but-innocent-why-hasn't-anyone-proposed-to-her-yet girl, which would be her. Lives intertwine. After some initial conflicts, they overcome all odds with the power of love and get together in the most shy and prude way possible: Dear diary, I held her hand today and felt the warmth of a thousand suns. Well, nowadays the dramas are a little more progressive and it gets sexy sometimes. Anyways, that's only like 10 episodes in, and then the real struggle begins - this unwanted third wheel who doesn't apparently get the fucking message. There is some miscommunication, a lot of overthinking, and now comes a tragic moment when the most perfect couple ever in the history of Kdrama must separate ways despite loving each other so much because they love each other so much.

Season 1, Episode 19, Scene 9
+ Show Spoiler +

Girl sits in front of computer, Skype on. Same for boy. Each are in separate rooms. Girl is waiting, boy logs on.
Music: probably something by Yiruma - fine I'll just pick Kiss the Rain because everyone knows this one.


Boy: Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. I was just helping my sister with homework.
Girl: It's okay... I understand...
Boy: Anyways, happy Valentine's Day! I've got something very special for you and it should arrive in a week or so.
Girl: Thanks, I appreciate it... happy Valentine's Day to you too honey...
Boy: Huh? You don't sound so good.
Girl: hurrying Oh, it's nothing. I must be tired. How was your day-
Boy: cutting off Wait a second, it's that Douche (yes I shall name him Douche) again isn't it.

Kiss the Rain fades away, and When the Love Falls plays (this one is minor, was used in Winter Sonata if people remember)

Girl: No, no definitely not him, why are you-
Boy: I knew it! This is like the 5th he's visited in the last month. Didn't we discuss this earlier? We promised to be honest, we promised we wouldn't keep any secrets from each other! Why are you still letting him bother you like this?
Girl: He doesn't bother me, it's okay, honestly.
Boy: Oh yeah? Guess what, he bothers ME. If he doesn't bother you, then does he please you? Does he satisfy you when I'm not there for you?
Girl: angry It's definitely not like that! What are you saying?
Boy: You don't dare lie to me. You already lied to me already today and I'm not going to take any more lies. How dare you-
Girl: Stop it! Stop it! I love you and you're the only one for me!
Boy: Lies, lies! All lies! If you love me then how come you can't keep a simple promise? We agreed that that douche shouldn't get between us! Why is it that he hasn't got the message? Clearly you keep leading him on, you selfish b-
Girl: It's NOT like that! I told you! He's a family friend and it's not easy for me to simply-
Boy: ENOUGH! I'm trying so hard to make you happy, can't you see? Why can't you be happy, with me? Why do you have to be selfish like this?
Girl: You know what, that's enough. I've had enough. See you tomorrow. logs off Skype, ends conversation

Long pause, boy looking at his monitor, slowly puts his headphones down. Music reverts to the Kiss the Rain. Boy rolls his chair back, glances around and notices all the gifts he prepared for her to send on Valentine's Day.


Boy: ... What have I done?

Ending credits + Episode 20 previews!


Season 1, Episode 20, Scene 1
+ Show Spoiler +

10 minutes of last episode summary. End of summary - boy at his room, next morning.
Normal day for boy, he has flashbacks of what he said the prior night. He screws up his morning midterm because he only filled in his name and didn't write any answers down. He takes two bites of his lunch then throws it away. He daydreams through the afternoon. He takes one spoon of his dinner, leaves it there, then goes back to his room. He logs onto Skype. Slow, melancholic Kballad is playing the background.


Boy: seeing that Girl is already online Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Boy: Look, I'm really sorry.
Girl: It's okay, I understand.
Boy: I got caught up in the moment and said so many things I didn't mean. I really didn't mean it. I'm so sorry.
Girl: It's okay. I've made up my mind.
Boy: Oh? Erm, so does that resolve our problems then? I'm glad you realized-
Girl: No, it's not like that.

mandatory brief pause

Girl: I don't want to be with you any longer.

that Kballad song almost reaching the climax part

Girl: Look, we've been through a lot. I was happy, really happy with you. You're a great guy and I'll never meet another person like you. You make me truly happy. tearing up But... but I don't think I can do the same to you any more.
Boy: No, no that's wrong. Wrong. You, girl, you're the perfect person for me and I am who I am because who you are-
Girl: cutting off Ever since my father passed away, you filled in the void of my heart with your love. I appreciate it, I really couldn't have made it without you. But crying you've been angry because of me. All because of me. Now it's time for me to make you happy... by leaving you. Good bye, love... Good bye. Kballad song CLIMAX
Boy: No! Don't hang up! This is not good bye. We love each other. You know it. We can make it work, still. This is not-
Girl: Good bye! Good bye!! ... Good bye, love... *click*

Girl has logged off Skype

Boy: No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kballad song that was playing now ends softly.

Boy: No......... grabs the gifts and fidgets around with them no.........

Main theme of the drama plays, and brief cutscenes from past episodes play.

Boy: No.

Dun dun dun! New theme song plays (to be used in Season 2), showing Season 2 Episode 1 previews.


*Edit1: Put spoilers for... saving space.

Okay now for the actual advices or whatever.

I'm sorry to hear how the shit went down, but I seriously think that this is not the end of the story. There's going to be more to it. You're going to send those things for her anyway. She will receive it. Strong emotions don't fade so suddenly like that. Whether season 2 starts tomorrow, in a week, or even several months later - there will be season 2. Your job is to be ready for season 2.

Being ready doesn't mean you go read all her letters and visit all the memories and feel like shit all the time. Being ready means moving on as usual - doing things you love (other than her, I guess. ugh, didn't mean to be so punny), accomplishing your education/career goals, and enjoying life.

Maybe season 2 will be her coming back at a busy time of your life, and struggling to find you back. Maybe season 2 will have another major character (girl) who connects you two back. Maybe season 2 will have a new girl. Who knows!
[TLMS] REBOOT
Nouar
Profile Joined May 2009
France3270 Posts
February 15 2012 18:37 GMT
#32
On February 16 2012 02:20 rotinegg wrote:
I definitely had some resentment towards best friend initially, but it died away quickly cuz frankly I owe her a lot for getting us to where we were, cuz it wasn't easy, and in the end it's my fault that I lied. The deep, underlying reason was that she was very wary coming into this relationship cuz her past boyfriend had cheated on her and slapped her when she asked for him to come back, and I said she could bounce at the first sign of trouble.


Show nested quote +
On February 16 2012 02:21 Jibba wrote:
On February 16 2012 02:16 TheKwas wrote:
Honestly, you're literally on the other side of the world, and you get visually upset when she has contact with other guys (who, it seems, she doesn't even like). If you can't emotionally deal with your girl interacting with other guys, including other guys that romantically like her, then you're not emotionally ready for a LDR. I don't blame her for ending it

That's not an insult btw, most people can't deal with LDRs for very long. I can't, for example.


Also, I can't seriously believe that the reason she broke up with you is solely because you lied when you were keeping her best friend's secret. There's clearly more deep, underlying reasons.

^
Even
I wanted to be that one person in her life that she could go to
is problematic because it's not about you. That's just a selfish way to consider her step-father's death. She'll do what she needs to do and talk to who she needs to talk to, and you don't seem comfortable with that.

Plus the comment about 'America-borns', being clingy and a lying pact... how old are you?

I've never looked at what I did as a selfish way to consider her father's death, but I guess there is some truth to it. I'm 23. Exaggerated word choices were made driven by my need for comedic relief, so don't take everything I wrote quite so literally.


I'm sorry, I still believe she's a bit of an ass if she leaves you because you didn't want to hurt her relationship with her best friend (as I'm sure that friend told her she told you not to say anything at first).

If she leaves you just for that, either she'll apologize soon (very little chance) and all will be fine, either you'd better move on, you'd be hurting yourself more in the long run. And I talk from experience. Living X months/years constantly on edge is never good. If she's being harassed, she has to deal with it, not "no talking about it" since it's horrid to YOU. Yes it is, even if you believe her. That's not her being kind there.

Good luck ! Things always get better eventually. Long distance relationships are hard as fuck and take a toll on you no matter what.
NoiR
rotinegg
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States1719 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-23 01:42:55
February 15 2012 18:38 GMT
#33
Translator
Complete
Profile Joined October 2009
United States1864 Posts
February 15 2012 18:41 GMT
#34
Meh, this is from one perspective, sadly we'll never be able to hear it from hers. I can't seriously believe she broke up with you because of one little lie, even if she did jut get out of a relationship with somebody who cheated on her. Also, jealousy is silly, but I won't expand further b/c I don't have all of the facts.
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
February 15 2012 18:52 GMT
#35
On February 16 2012 03:38 rotinegg wrote:
omfg opti lol thanks not sure how but it made me feel better

Dare I try a Season 2 Episode 1?
[TLMS] REBOOT
Iplaythings
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Denmark9110 Posts
February 15 2012 18:59 GMT
#36
I know it's been said but It's worth repeating: If you have a long distance relationship and you can't handle someone crushing on her (especially if he's her friend or she enjoys spending time with him one way or the other) you really should quit it.

Handling with people crushing on your girlfriend can be tough for me (when I know they've spent 5-7 hours together in city I would get moody if she didn't text me), and my GF barely lives 3 kilometres away. Are you not trusting her or do you think that he'll rape your now ex-girlfriend? It doesn't add up to me
In the woods, there lurks..
rotinegg
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States1719 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-23 01:39:06
February 15 2012 19:02 GMT
#37
Translator
thesideshow
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
930 Posts
February 15 2012 19:14 GMT
#38
On February 16 2012 02:36 needcomputer wrote:
In my experience, long distance relationships never work.

But I will pray that yours works!


3 years long distance and going strong ^.^

Though OP, it is definitely difficult. You really need 100% trust. If you get upset with her for things outside her control (that guy being around her), it won't work.

Good luck, I hope things work out for you. If you ever need some LDR advice, just hit me up.
OGS:levelchange
Telcontar
Profile Joined May 2010
United Kingdom16710 Posts
February 15 2012 19:29 GMT
#39
I'm sorry for you. I've yet to see a long distance relationship stand the test of time (and seperation). Not one.

Keep your chin up mate.
Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien. Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta.
tonight
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
United States11130 Posts
February 15 2012 19:38 GMT
#40
This just seems to be something we all eventually go through. Maybe not to this extent with being across the world from one another, but even so this is life and it sucks when it has to happen to us. Hopefully you learn from these things and maybe things will work out for the best.
if I come without a thing, then I come with all I need @tonightsend
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