EPT
A girl broke my heart
| Blogs > rotinegg |
rotinegg
United States1719 Posts
| ||
|
Froadac
United States6733 Posts
| ||
|
Zorkmid
4410 Posts
We contacted his family about his suicidal references and we decided to cut off communication with him. He's done much better since then. | ||
|
Synwave
United States2803 Posts
Hope it all works out for you  | ||
|
`Zapdos
United States935 Posts
| ||
|
DEN1ED
United States1087 Posts
On February 16 2012 01:50 rotinegg wrote: which lead to many arguments and eventually the prohibition of the subject altogether. Anyway, she didn't tell me, but her best friend told me that he was there. Wouldn't her telling you he was there bring up the prohibited subject? Maybe I'm not understanding this correctly but it doesn't seem like she cheated on you or anything. Some stalker guy just keeps coming around and she didn't tell you since it would only cause an argument anyways. | ||
|
rotinegg
United States1719 Posts
| ||
Kipsate
Netherlands45349 Posts
kdramas have happy endings go for it, get yours. | ||
|
TheKwas
Iceland372 Posts
That's not an insult btw, most people can't deal with LDRs for very long. I can't, for example. Also, I can't seriously believe that the reason she broke up with you is solely because you lied when you were keeping her best friend's secret. There's clearly more deep, underlying reasons. | ||
|
Uranium
United States1077 Posts
On February 16 2012 01:50 rotinegg wrote:Anyway, she didn't tell me, but her best friend told me that he was there. She asked me if her best friend had told. I asked her best friend can I tell, and she said their friendship would take a big hit. I lied, but at the same time best friend decided to change her mind and tell. That's your problem. Friend fucked you over to protect herself. Never trust anyone. | ||
|
rotinegg
United States1719 Posts
| ||
Jibba
United States22883 Posts
On February 16 2012 02:16 TheKwas wrote: Honestly, you're literally on the other side of the world, and you get visually upset when she has contact with other guys (who, it seems, she doesn't even like). If you can't emotionally deal with your girl interacting with other guys, including other guys that romantically like her, then you're not emotionally ready for a LDR. I don't blame her for ending it That's not an insult btw, most people can't deal with LDRs for very long. I can't, for example. Also, I can't seriously believe that the reason she broke up with you is solely because you lied when you were keeping her best friend's secret. There's clearly more deep, underlying reasons. ^ Even I wanted to be that one person in her life that she could go to is problematic because it's not about you. That's just a selfish way to consider her step-father's death. She'll do what she needs to do and talk to who she needs to talk to, and you don't seem comfortable with that. Plus the comment about 'America-borns', being clingy and a lying pact... how old are you? Either way, I think you'll 100% get over it. | ||
|
Azzur
Australia6254 Posts
The breakup part sounds a bit crazy - you're breaking up over another guy?? Hmmm... I know this may be hard for you but take this advice on an outsider's viewpoint... She broke up with you because she is tired dealing with your neediness. When a breakup happens over a seemingly trivial thing, something has been boiling for a very long time. Actually, it was possibly a test - if you had called her out on the breakup and didn't respond by begging, I think things would've been better. Actually, I don't understand why she thinks that its acceptable for another guy to continually proposition her and she thinks that it's ok for you not to get angry... if the roles were reversed won't she get upset?? You need to say her actions are not acceptable and that seeing him is a big no. The problem is, the relationship means too much for you and that leads to neediness, and girls don't like this... | ||
|
Jibba
United States22883 Posts
| ||
|
krisss
Luxembourg305 Posts
If you trust her, dont be jealous, if you dont, leave her. Still sorry for you, you will find just another perfect girl. Btw: imho you dont find the "perfect" girl in a club. Think well about sending the gifts. I would not. Whats you plan by doing it? Getting her back? Whats the chance? Not much i guess, and even when it works, will you change about ur jealousy, etc.? Would you accept the proposition of the to stay "friends"? Would you like to talk with her about her new bf, see her with her new bf? I doubt it. Let£s explain it in SC2 vocabulary. YOu are in a game where your behind in supply by 100. If you still want to win the game, you have to invest A LOT of time and energy. Most ppl would tell you to just deal with the loss, and play the next game. It hurts, because it was a good game. But after some time, when watching the replay, you wonder why you kept fighting so hard, when it was obvious that you lost a long time ago. Edit: maybe in Korea/Asia breaking up is not seen as "huge" as in the western countries, i dont know. But in western cultures, i had not 1 friend who could get back her "perfect girl". Maybe for few months, but now for long. | ||
|
Roe
Canada6002 Posts
| ||
|
Monokeros
United States2493 Posts
would read again. | ||
|
rotinegg
United States1719 Posts
| ||
Sayle
United Kingdom3685 Posts
| ||
|
seRapH
United States9706 Posts
On February 16 2012 02:13 Kipsate wrote: This is like a kdrama kdramas have happy endings go for it, get yours. On February 16 2012 02:30 Monokeros wrote: looking forward to Season 2 when you get back together. would read again. GET OUT OF MY MIND | ||
|
lantz
United States762 Posts
But I will pray that yours works! | ||
|
VPCursed
1044 Posts
| ||
|
TheKwas
Iceland372 Posts
Either there is something wrong with that story, or your a hypocrite. You describe in 2 paragraphs how much u were jealous/"steamed" about her guy friend. Then you go on telling that you trusted her 100%. Something is wrong there. If you trust her, dont be jealous, if you dont, leave her. ^^ this. @ Azzur It's not acceptable for other guys not to proposition her? How is that her fault? Unless you have good reason to think she's encouraging guys to hit on her, laying the blame on her will make things worse for both parties. Instead, you should approach it like a problem for both of you and be supportive and trusting (WITHOUT getting angry, even if it's anger directed at the other guy). Also, OP, you're 23 years old but from the way you describe your past adventures you make it sound like you've conquered every club and gotten to know every type of girl. You're still a youngin in the grand scheme of things, don't delude yourself into thinking that she was your one true soul mate or anything else stupid like that which young kids like to do while in love. You're still maturing and learning about yourself. Not too mention you've known each other for only 1 month in person (if I'm reading correctly): That's not a healthy foundation for a real romantic relationship, even if you have really compatible personalities. I would suspect you're luckier in the long run for not committing yourself to a LDR for longer. Our relationship was purely emotional and hardly physical, like in a Korean drama, where every time we hug, metaphorical orchestral music explodes onto the set and the angels cry. One of the most common themes you'll hear from Koreans in their upper 20s/lower 30s is how childish and stupid Kdramas are. If your romance seems like a Kdrama, that's actually probably a bad sign. | ||
|
Caliber
United States598 Posts
does this song relate? | ||
|
moktira
Ireland1542 Posts
On February 16 2012 02:36 needcomputer wrote: In my experience, long distance relationships never work. But I will pray that yours works! Long distance can certainly be very hard but I don't think they never work, provided it's not permanent and both parties feel similarly I think it can work. At least I hope they can. I think in this case though being jealous of someone who's obsessed with her, when you also said she'd never cheat on you, is going to put strain on the relationship, especially when he's a family friend. If you're certain she'd never cheat on you then you just need to get over it. Also I didn't like this statement: On February 16 2012 01:50 rotinegg wrote: She lost her dad to cancer this past winter, and I wanted to be that one person in her life that she could go to. You can certainly help but viewing it like this does not seem healthy. If you've already written stuff for her, and she still feels strongly towards you however, I'm sure the two of you can get past this. + Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/ZcTUh.png) | ||
|
rotinegg
United States1719 Posts
| ||
ZeromuS
Canada13379 Posts
On February 16 2012 02:57 rotinegg wrote: It's hard to make a sweeping generalization like that, drama-like romance is actually more common than you would think in Korea. I've had a few that were like it, although not to that extent, and while some were childish and stupid in my teens, some were actually beautiful and a lot more fulfilling than the more physical romances I've had in the US If its really meant to be she will cool down and then you might have another chance. If you can talk to her again, explain how you bought stuff and just ask her if she still wants it or not too. Whether you stay together or not in the long run you gotta figure out what to do with that stuff you have and since it was for her she might still appreciate it? Its not like you can give it to someone else for the most part. But sending it without her permission at this point would be creepy. Alternative Kdrama situation: Get on a plane show up at her place with the stuff and the Kdrama will have a beautiful ending. First she'll slap you then you'll leave the stuff on the porch, get drunk at a bar. She'll open the door after crying find the stuff realise she loves you and she will search for your broken drunk ass to comfort you. Fast forward 5 years and a little baby is being cute and you two are talking to some friends about your story over wine at lunch or coffee in the morning. -scene end- | ||
Seeker
Where dat snitch at?36923 Posts
We're here for you though! | ||
|
Scarecrow
Korea (South)9172 Posts
On February 16 2012 02:36 VPCursed wrote: she broke up with you over a small lie, she's either crazy or shes lying. She sounds normal, it's the OP who's needier than most women. Getting jealous over a stalker she kept turning down was the best way to lose her. | ||
|
Xiron
Germany1233 Posts
| ||
|
OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
First, I'm going to start with: On February 16 2012 02:13 Kipsate wrote: This is like a kdrama kdramas have happy endings go for it, get yours. On February 16 2012 02:30 Monokeros wrote: looking forward to Season 2 when you get back together. would read again. On February 16 2012 02:35 seRapH wrote: GET OUT OF MY MIND (to those two quoted above) Exactly. This story has a Kdrama feel. Two individuals from different paths of life meet. There is a boy that's got a not-so-proud-past, that would be you sir (Mr. Clubrat) and then there's the perfect-but-innocent-why-hasn't-anyone-proposed-to-her-yet girl, which would be her. Lives intertwine. After some initial conflicts, they overcome all odds with the power of love and get together in the most shy and prude way possible: Dear diary, I held her hand today and felt the warmth of a thousand suns. Well, nowadays the dramas are a little more progressive and it gets sexy sometimes. Anyways, that's only like 10 episodes in, and then the real struggle begins - this unwanted third wheel who doesn't apparently get the fucking message. There is some miscommunication, a lot of overthinking, and now comes a tragic moment when the most perfect couple ever in the history of Kdrama must separate ways Season 1, Episode 19, Scene 9 + Show Spoiler + Girl sits in front of computer, Skype on. Same for boy. Each are in separate rooms. Girl is waiting, boy logs on. Music: probably something by Yiruma - fine I'll just pick Kiss the Rain because everyone knows this one. Boy: Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. I was just helping my sister with homework. Girl: It's okay... I understand... Boy: Anyways, happy Valentine's Day! I've got something very special for you and it should arrive in a week or so. Girl: Thanks, I appreciate it... happy Valentine's Day to you too honey... Boy: Huh? You don't sound so good. Girl: hurrying Oh, it's nothing. I must be tired. How was your day- Boy: cutting off Wait a second, it's that Douche (yes I shall name him Douche) again isn't it. Kiss the Rain fades away, and When the Love Falls plays (this one is minor, was used in Winter Sonata if people remember) Girl: No, no definitely not him, why are you- Boy: I knew it! This is like the 5th he's visited in the last month. Didn't we discuss this earlier? We promised to be honest, we promised we wouldn't keep any secrets from each other! Why are you still letting him bother you like this? Girl: He doesn't bother me, it's okay, honestly. Boy: Oh yeah? Guess what, he bothers ME. If he doesn't bother you, then does he please you? Does he satisfy you when I'm not there for you? Girl: angry It's definitely not like that! What are you saying? Boy: You don't dare lie to me. You already lied to me already today and I'm not going to take any more lies. How dare you- Girl: Stop it! Stop it! I love you and you're the only one for me! Boy: Lies, lies! All lies! If you love me then how come you can't keep a simple promise? We agreed that that douche shouldn't get between us! Why is it that he hasn't got the message? Clearly you keep leading him on, you selfish b- Girl: It's NOT like that! I told you! He's a family friend and it's not easy for me to simply- Boy: ENOUGH! I'm trying so hard to make you happy, can't you see? Why can't you be happy, with me? Why do you have to be selfish like this? Girl: You know what, that's enough. I've had enough. See you tomorrow. logs off Skype, ends conversation Long pause, boy looking at his monitor, slowly puts his headphones down. Music reverts to the Kiss the Rain. Boy rolls his chair back, glances around and notices all the gifts he prepared for her to send on Valentine's Day. Boy: ... What have I done? Ending credits + Episode 20 previews! Season 1, Episode 20, Scene 1 + Show Spoiler + 10 minutes of last episode summary. End of summary - boy at his room, next morning. Normal day for boy, he has flashbacks of what he said the prior night. He screws up his morning midterm because he only filled in his name and didn't write any answers down. He takes two bites of his lunch then throws it away. He daydreams through the afternoon. He takes one spoon of his dinner, leaves it there, then goes back to his room. He logs onto Skype. Slow, melancholic Kballad is playing the background. Boy: seeing that Girl is already online Hey. Girl: Hey. Boy: Look, I'm really sorry. Girl: It's okay, I understand. Boy: I got caught up in the moment and said so many things I didn't mean. I really didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. Girl: It's okay. I've made up my mind. Boy: Oh? Erm, so does that resolve our problems then? I'm glad you realized- Girl: No, it's not like that. mandatory brief pause Girl: I don't want to be with you any longer. that Kballad song almost reaching the climax part Girl: Look, we've been through a lot. I was happy, really happy with you. You're a great guy and I'll never meet another person like you. You make me truly happy. tearing up But... but I don't think I can do the same to you any more. Boy: No, no that's wrong. Wrong. You, girl, you're the perfect person for me and I am who I am because who you are- Girl: cutting off Ever since my father passed away, you filled in the void of my heart with your love. I appreciate it, I really couldn't have made it without you. But crying you've been angry because of me. All because of me. Now it's time for me to make you happy... by leaving you. Good bye, love... Good bye. Kballad song CLIMAX Boy: No! Don't hang up! This is not good bye. We love each other. You know it. We can make it work, still. This is not- Girl: Good bye! Good bye!! ... Good bye, love... *click* Girl has logged off Skype Boy: No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Kballad song that was playing now ends softly. Boy: No......... grabs the gifts and fidgets around with them no......... Main theme of the drama plays, and brief cutscenes from past episodes play. Boy: No. Dun dun dun! New theme song plays (to be used in Season 2), showing Season 2 Episode 1 previews. *Edit1: Put spoilers for... saving space. Okay now for the actual advices or whatever. I'm sorry to hear how the shit went down, but I seriously think that this is not the end of the story. There's going to be more to it. You're going to send those things for her anyway. She will receive it. Strong emotions don't fade so suddenly like that. Whether season 2 starts tomorrow, in a week, or even several months later - there will be season 2. Your job is to be ready for season 2. Being ready doesn't mean you go read all her letters and visit all the memories and feel like shit all the time. Being ready means moving on as usual - doing things you love (other than her, I guess. ugh, didn't mean to be so punny), accomplishing your education/career goals, and enjoying life. Maybe season 2 will be her coming back at a busy time of your life, and struggling to find you back. Maybe season 2 will have another major character (girl) who connects you two back. Maybe season 2 will have a new girl. Who knows! | ||
|
Nouar
France3270 Posts
On February 16 2012 02:20 rotinegg wrote: I definitely had some resentment towards best friend initially, but it died away quickly cuz frankly I owe her a lot for getting us to where we were, cuz it wasn't easy, and in the end it's my fault that I lied. The deep, underlying reason was that she was very wary coming into this relationship cuz her past boyfriend had cheated on her and slapped her when she asked for him to come back, and I said she could bounce at the first sign of trouble. I've never looked at what I did as a selfish way to consider her father's death, but I guess there is some truth to it. I'm 23. Exaggerated word choices were made driven by my need for comedic relief, so don't take everything I wrote quite so literally. I'm sorry, I still believe she's a bit of an ass if she leaves you because you didn't want to hurt her relationship with her best friend (as I'm sure that friend told her she told you not to say anything at first). If she leaves you just for that, either she'll apologize soon (very little chance) and all will be fine, either you'd better move on, you'd be hurting yourself more in the long run. And I talk from experience. Living X months/years constantly on edge is never good. If she's being harassed, she has to deal with it, not "no talking about it" since it's horrid to YOU. Yes it is, even if you believe her. That's not her being kind there. Good luck ! Things always get better eventually. Long distance relationships are hard as fuck and take a toll on you no matter what. | ||
|
rotinegg
United States1719 Posts
| ||
|
Complete
United States1864 Posts
| ||
|
OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
On February 16 2012 03:38 rotinegg wrote: omfg opti lol thanks not sure how but it made me feel better Dare I try a Season 2 Episode 1? | ||
|
Iplaythings
Denmark9110 Posts
Handling with people crushing on your girlfriend can be tough for me (when I know they've spent 5-7 hours together in city I would get moody if she didn't text me), and my GF barely lives 3 kilometres away. Are you not trusting her or do you think that he'll rape your now ex-girlfriend? It doesn't add up to me | ||
|
rotinegg
United States1719 Posts
| ||
|
thesideshow
930 Posts
On February 16 2012 02:36 needcomputer wrote: In my experience, long distance relationships never work. But I will pray that yours works! 3 years long distance and going strong ^.^ Though OP, it is definitely difficult. You really need 100% trust. If you get upset with her for things outside her control (that guy being around her), it won't work. Good luck, I hope things work out for you. If you ever need some LDR advice, just hit me up. | ||
|
Telcontar
United Kingdom16710 Posts
Keep your chin up mate. | ||
|
tonight
United States11130 Posts
| ||
|
Apom
France655 Posts
| ||
Plexa
Aotearoa39261 Posts
 I could be way off though :D I dno what help I can be, but if she's in Auckland and you need anything done don't hesitate to ask! | ||
|
tonight
United States11130 Posts
On February 16 2012 04:43 Plexa wrote: So she's studying around my parts eh? Judging by the timing of this I'm going to guess she is college (university) age? Since she's Korean, my guess is she studies at Auckland Uni I could be way off though :D I dno what help I can be, but if she's in Auckland and you need anything done don't hesitate to ask! This sounds like it has completely ill-intentions | ||
|
Plexa
Aotearoa39261 Posts
| ||
|
rotinegg
United States1719 Posts
| ||
|
Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
On February 16 2012 01:50 rotinegg wrote: She was the prettiest, nicest, most fun, and down-to-earth person I had ever met and the only girl with whom I seriously saw having a future. I trusted her 100% and she trusted me 100%, something I can't do with American-born's without being called "clingy." No games, no frill, straight honesty, and it really made me feel like there was someone in this world that I could go to for all my woes. I sent her letters and pictures daily from work and she would do the same. You had a great relationship where you both fell in love, enjoyed each others' company, and enjoyed a fulfilling experience. Though the distance was far you both put in the time and effort to make it work. Congratulations - you're doing it right. It's actions and emotional bonds like this that make a relationship work for a long, LONG time. Unless, of course, she gives up. When quality relationships end the immediate emotional effects are nothing short of devastating. If there is still more you need to say then by all means get in contact and speak your heart out. Even ask for her back if that's what you really want. But if she says no then that's it. You can't force someone to stay with you no matter how trivial their reasons for breaking up were. Just make sure you've said everything you need to say - you don't want any regrets of "what you should have done" down the line. The only thing left to do after the clean break is to keep living YOUR life, not the life both of you had. Change up your routine, pick up a new hobby, hang out with friends, etc. It's going to take a lot longer than your typical breakup to get over this. In fact, you probably don't WANT to get over it right now. Accepting it's over is almost as hard as the initial breakup, so I'm sorry, but there's more hardship ahead. There is, however, a light at the end of the tunnel. And there are plenty more fish in the sea. Being "clingy" in America has nothing to do with trusting each other. Trust means you know she'll be faithful even if she's crashing at a male friend's place for the night, you can go days without talking and know she's still thinking of you, and, to put it simply, you have complete faith that her feelings are true and that she will stay true to you. If American women are calling you clingy it's more likely because you always need to be around them. I can kind of understand this if you spent all-day marathons over skype playing a game. A clingy boyfriend isn't necessarily a bad thing (similar to how a high maintenance girlfriend isn't inherently bad), but you can cross a line where you become possessive (and I don't know any woman who likes that). What I'm trying to say is that it's all based on the individual girl's personality, not their country of origin. You may find more people like that within a certain nationality, but I guarantee you will find who you're looking for almost anywhere if you look hard enough. | ||
|
Zhazulo
Sweden226 Posts
The good guy draws the short straws in most cases Take care | ||
|
-_-
United States7081 Posts
1) She might be using your lie as an excuse to break up with you. Perhaps that weird family friend is more significant than you think. I feel like when it comes to relationships, if you love someone nothing they do is a reason to break up with them, and if you don't love someone you look for an excuse to get out the relationship, and that excuse is irrelevant. 2) In my opinion, the only way you should try to win a girl back is by a) keeping in touch as friends and b) becoming the most interesting, successful, in shape, and educated person you can be. | ||
|
polgas
Canada1720 Posts
| ||
|
Timurid
Guyana (French)656 Posts
| ||
|
neoghaleon55
United States7435 Posts
On February 16 2012 02:27 Jibba wrote: Ah, well you'll be ok. People make mistakes in early relationships all the time and seriously, long distance relationships are almost impossible to pull off. This is why I only date locally. My highschool sweetheart went off to a different college about a 200 miles away...called it quits. hurt like a bitch but I think it was better for us both in the long run. sad though...she was a really cute korean girl, too. I still think korean girls are absolutely adorable. | ||
|
Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
On February 16 2012 05:23 -_- wrote: Rules don't really apply to relationships, so all the advice you get about the subject is a collection of hypothetical actions people wish they would've taken when dealing with their own. This depends on what you mean by "rules". We could argue semantics until the end of time, so I'll stick with a very simple "rule" of my own: Do not try to figure out what another person is thinking. Ask them. This is in reference to your first piece of advice. Whether she's using it as an excuse or not, the only reasons for the breakup are the reasons given to him. It's pointless to try and figure out what certain actions lead to what conclusion. It's a similar situation when a guy tries to "read" a girl before making a move on her instead of taking action. Trying to figure someone out is inaction and the end-result remains the same - heartbroken. I usually say things like this to the "I'm hopelessly in love with a girl" blogs where the OP will spend paragraphs dissecting every little action into some kind of greater explanation. This is where you get things like "If a girl crosses her legs and points her toe towards you it means she's flirting with you". THIS is a collection of hypothetical actions. When it comes down to it, the feelings that drive relationships make no rational sense, so spending time trying to "figure someone out" will most likely be a waste of time. | ||
|
Ixtlilton
United States67 Posts
On February 16 2012 04:45 Plexa wrote: Did I fail to mention that I'm in the waste disposal business? For some reason this made me laugh so hard I ended up coughing on my own saliva. As for the blog, that seems kind of odd that she would break up with you for trying to preserve one of her friendships. I can understand that she would be upset, but it seems like an overreaction. Hopefully you get back together, and good luck! | ||
|
Glaceau
Wales333 Posts
| ||
|
Chimpalimp
United States1135 Posts
| ||
|
Deleted User 183001
2939 Posts
1) Girls aren't really the affirmative kind of type. Most are pretty sheepish. They follow whoever puts the most into them, even if they are 100x less interested in the person than even a boyfriend. This leads into #2. 2) You had a long-distance relationship, and you expect it to work out? Even if someone she doesn't like, just by virtue of that person hitting on her and being convenient to her (whereas you are not) spells the end. I'm sorry man, but that's the way it is. Seriously, relationships that come down to being primarily over the Internet don't work out. For example, you can't imagine how many girls who've wanted to date/fuck me who were currently relationships from wherever they came from to go to college. It almost made me sick. 3) She wouldn't have broken up upon hearing that you were bothered about that guy hitting on her hardcore. In fact, she would have told him to gtfo and think even better of you. Seriously, let's not make excuses. She preferred him over you. It's really shitty, I know how it is. | ||
|
Intr3pid
Switzerland336 Posts
After you breakup with a girl you are in love with you feel like you will never feel the same for another girl. There is no point in ignoring this feeling, and you shouldn't, but believe me, it will pass. There are so many nice and cool girls out there and you can be sure that they will make you equally happy. When you fall in love again, you will realize how foolish it was to suffer so much because of the girl that you are still longing for. In my opinion, you shouldn't try to win her back. If she really feels the same about you, she will come back, and you can decide then what to do. If you try to get her back, you will just prolong the process of getting over her and thus also prolong the opportunity of meeting the next wonderful girl in your life, which is for sure going to happen. | ||
|
followZeRoX
Serbia1449 Posts
| ||
|
KnT
Australia243 Posts
My second decent relationship was the first time I actually fell in love with someone. She was a very outgoing girl who looked absolutely stunning. She was a Uni student (and thus got hit on more or less daily by a large chunk of her course) and I worked full time but there was 100% trust from me that she'd just remember that she was taken. Long story short; I moved out, she was hurt that I didnt talk to her about it beforehand. She told me she was being hit on by guy X, I told her that I know people hit on her but I don't really want to hear about it. She stopped coming over as often due to "uni assignments" and "helping friends", I was an idiot and played it cool. One day she calls me when I'm just about to leave work sounding pretty upset, I drive 1.5 hours in traffic to pick her up and she tells me that she'd been raped. I was devastated and wanted to do whatever I could to try to make things better so more or less made it my life mission to make her happy again. A few weeks later she called me drunk at some party saying that we should break up, I was extremely pissed off as she declined spending time with me as she needed to do an assignment. I told her to grow the fuck up and do it in person when she's sober. Next day she apologised and said she didnt really mean it blah blah blah. The week after that she had to go "help a friend with a uni thing" that night so dodged another evening with me and a few weeks after that she eventually broke up with me. I was destroyed mentally and emotionally. I felt as though I failed because I couldnt even make her happy even though I put everything I had into doing so. I literally couldnt talk with any girl without remembering the pain I felt after that breakup for 2 years straight. I hated myself, everything I did wouldnt be good enough so why even bother starting? That's how I felt, that was my thought pattern. I almost got fired from my job, I dropped out of the tertiary education I was doing because I literally lost my will to apply myself to anything after that breakup. Then I found out through some channels about her, "uni assignments? Cheated on me. Helping friends? Cheated on me. Raped? Fucking willingly cheated on me and then made up that BS story. I was angry, I've never been a violent person before but this awokened a new passion of hatred for not only her, but myself for being such a gullable idiot. I wanted to die, I didnt care about my health or what people thought of me so queue a month or 3 of binge drinking and smoking/taking other drugs. Just after my 21st bday, 2 of my mates died in a car accident which opened my eyes, I got sick of myself being a mopey douche and started to get on with life, focussing on work/learning new things, meeting new people etc Then I met my current GF and things sparked there, I told her of what happened beforehand and she helped clear things up with me. I fell in love with her and believe me, it FAR excels what I had with GF No 2 TLDR; My backstory of how I came to this conclusion: Don't fall into the trap of thinking that life is over because of this one girl. The next girl you fall for will make this relationship seem like the beauty of a single star when compared to the entire freaking universe. Move on brohan, you'll be better for it | ||
|
StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On February 16 2012 03:27 OpticalShot wrote: Alas, FINALLY a juicy post-Valentine's Day girl blog! I've been waiting for this like all day man. I'm going to take a deep breath and enjoy this experience (at your emotional expense, regrettably) to the fullest. I have the energy to fill 10 girl blogs today but I'm going to invest it all here. JUST FOR YOU fellow eSports brother! First, I'm going to start with: Exactly. This story has a Kdrama feel. Two individuals from different paths of life meet. There is a boy that's got a not-so-proud-past, that would be you sir (Mr. Clubrat) and then there's the perfect-but-innocent-why-hasn't-anyone-proposed-to-her-yet girl, which would be her. Lives intertwine. After some initial conflicts, they overcome all odds with the power of love and get together in the most shy and prude way possible: Dear diary, I held her hand today and felt the warmth of a thousand suns. Well, nowadays the dramas are a little more progressive and it gets sexy sometimes. Anyways, that's only like 10 episodes in, and then the real struggle begins - this unwanted third wheel who doesn't apparently get the fucking message. There is some miscommunication, a lot of overthinking, and now comes a tragic moment when the most perfect couple ever in the history of Kdrama must separate ways Season 1, Episode 19, Scene 9 + Show Spoiler + Girl sits in front of computer, Skype on. Same for boy. Each are in separate rooms. Girl is waiting, boy logs on. Music: probably something by Yiruma - fine I'll just pick Kiss the Rain because everyone knows this one. Boy: Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. I was just helping my sister with homework. Girl: It's okay... I understand... Boy: Anyways, happy Valentine's Day! I've got something very special for you and it should arrive in a week or so. Girl: Thanks, I appreciate it... happy Valentine's Day to you too honey... Boy: Huh? You don't sound so good. Girl: hurrying Oh, it's nothing. I must be tired. How was your day- Boy: cutting off Wait a second, it's that Douche (yes I shall name him Douche) again isn't it. Kiss the Rain fades away, and When the Love Falls plays (this one is minor, was used in Winter Sonata if people remember) Girl: No, no definitely not him, why are you- Boy: I knew it! This is like the 5th he's visited in the last month. Didn't we discuss this earlier? We promised to be honest, we promised we wouldn't keep any secrets from each other! Why are you still letting him bother you like this? Girl: He doesn't bother me, it's okay, honestly. Boy: Oh yeah? Guess what, he bothers ME. If he doesn't bother you, then does he please you? Does he satisfy you when I'm not there for you? Girl: angry It's definitely not like that! What are you saying? Boy: You don't dare lie to me. You already lied to me already today and I'm not going to take any more lies. How dare you- Girl: Stop it! Stop it! I love you and you're the only one for me! Boy: Lies, lies! All lies! If you love me then how come you can't keep a simple promise? We agreed that that douche shouldn't get between us! Why is it that he hasn't got the message? Clearly you keep leading him on, you selfish b- Girl: It's NOT like that! I told you! He's a family friend and it's not easy for me to simply- Boy: ENOUGH! I'm trying so hard to make you happy, can't you see? Why can't you be happy, with me? Why do you have to be selfish like this? Girl: You know what, that's enough. I've had enough. See you tomorrow. logs off Skype, ends conversation Long pause, boy looking at his monitor, slowly puts his headphones down. Music reverts to the Kiss the Rain. Boy rolls his chair back, glances around and notices all the gifts he prepared for her to send on Valentine's Day. Boy: ... What have I done? Ending credits + Episode 20 previews! Season 1, Episode 20, Scene 1 + Show Spoiler + 10 minutes of last episode summary. End of summary - boy at his room, next morning. Normal day for boy, he has flashbacks of what he said the prior night. He screws up his morning midterm because he only filled in his name and didn't write any answers down. He takes two bites of his lunch then throws it away. He daydreams through the afternoon. He takes one spoon of his dinner, leaves it there, then goes back to his room. He logs onto Skype. Slow, melancholic Kballad is playing the background. Boy: seeing that Girl is already online Hey. Girl: Hey. Boy: Look, I'm really sorry. Girl: It's okay, I understand. Boy: I got caught up in the moment and said so many things I didn't mean. I really didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. Girl: It's okay. I've made up my mind. Boy: Oh? Erm, so does that resolve our problems then? I'm glad you realized- Girl: No, it's not like that. mandatory brief pause Girl: I don't want to be with you any longer. that Kballad song almost reaching the climax part Girl: Look, we've been through a lot. I was happy, really happy with you. You're a great guy and I'll never meet another person like you. You make me truly happy. tearing up But... but I don't think I can do the same to you any more. Boy: No, no that's wrong. Wrong. You, girl, you're the perfect person for me and I am who I am because who you are- Girl: cutting off Ever since my father passed away, you filled in the void of my heart with your love. I appreciate it, I really couldn't have made it without you. But crying you've been angry because of me. All because of me. Now it's time for me to make you happy... by leaving you. Good bye, love... Good bye. Kballad song CLIMAX Boy: No! Don't hang up! This is not good bye. We love each other. You know it. We can make it work, still. This is not- Girl: Good bye! Good bye!! ... Good bye, love... *click* Girl has logged off Skype Boy: No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Kballad song that was playing now ends softly. Boy: No......... grabs the gifts and fidgets around with them no......... Main theme of the drama plays, and brief cutscenes from past episodes play. Boy: No. Dun dun dun! New theme song plays (to be used in Season 2), showing Season 2 Episode 1 previews. *Edit1: Put spoilers for... saving space. Okay now for the actual advices or whatever. I'm sorry to hear how the shit went down, but I seriously think that this is not the end of the story. There's going to be more to it. You're going to send those things for her anyway. She will receive it. Strong emotions don't fade so suddenly like that. Whether season 2 starts tomorrow, in a week, or even several months later - there will be season 2. Your job is to be ready for season 2. Being ready doesn't mean you go read all her letters and visit all the memories and feel like shit all the time. Being ready means moving on as usual - doing things you love (other than her, I guess. ugh, didn't mean to be so punny), accomplishing your education/career goals, and enjoying life. Maybe season 2 will be her coming back at a busy time of your life, and struggling to find you back. Maybe season 2 will have another major character (girl) who connects you two back. Maybe season 2 will have a new girl. Who knows! LOLLLL. Bravo!!! | ||
|
AlissyXOXO
United States49 Posts
| ||
|
acrimoneyius
United States983 Posts
| ||
|
ETisME
12306 Posts
We only lasted a good 2 months period and there was a month when I couldn't really talk to her because she was in China. But hell, it took me like 2 years+ to at least stop thinking about it too negatively. The fact that there were so little arguments and mostly happy times really made me difficult to move on. Trust me, if you don't want to get hurt, cut your ties. I met her again a month ago in a primary school class gathering and damn, it's not easy at all. I couldn't look at her, couldn't stay calm, hearing her voice was extremely haunting. And I thought I would be fine I mean it's difficult for you to know that there is a guy obsessed with her and yet she has to see him. But in truth, she probably just doesn't have much of a choice because he is her family's friend and it will be difficult for her to kick him out. | ||
|
Brett
Australia3820 Posts
| ||
|
0123456789
United States3216 Posts
Except K-dramas never have happy endings. :/ | ||
|
Chef
10810 Posts
I hope that helps. | ||
|
Xyik
Canada728 Posts
| ||
|
Chaggi
Korea (South)1936 Posts
On February 16 2012 15:30 Brett wrote: If you "100% trusted each other" then the other guy wouldnt have been an issue. This is clearly something you weren't ready for... Not that there's anything wrong with that, LDR's are not really normal themselves.. GL in future. I was just about to post this too. You seem young though, I guess this is normal | ||
|
Kiett
United States7639 Posts
On February 16 2012 03:27 OpticalShot wrote: + Show Spoiler + Alas, FINALLY a juicy post-Valentine's Day girl blog! I've been waiting for this like all day man. I'm going to take a deep breath and enjoy this experience (at your emotional expense, regrettably) to the fullest. I have the energy to fill 10 girl blogs today but I'm going to invest it all here. JUST FOR YOU fellow eSports brother! First, I'm going to start with: On February 16 2012 02:13 Kipsate wrote: This is like a kdrama kdramas have happy endings go for it, get yours. On February 16 2012 02:30 Monokeros wrote: looking forward to Season 2 when you get back together. would read again. On February 16 2012 02:35 seRapH wrote: GET OUT OF MY MIND (to those two quoted above) Exactly. This story has a Kdrama feel. Two individuals from different paths of life meet. There is a boy that's got a not-so-proud-past, that would be you sir (Mr. Clubrat) and then there's the perfect-but-innocent-why-hasn't-anyone-proposed-to-her-yet girl, which would be her. Lives intertwine. After some initial conflicts, they overcome all odds with the power of love and get together in the most shy and prude way possible: Dear diary, I held her hand today and felt the warmth of a thousand suns. Well, nowadays the dramas are a little more progressive and it gets sexy sometimes. Anyways, that's only like 10 episodes in, and then the real struggle begins - this unwanted third wheel who doesn't apparently get the fucking message. There is some miscommunication, a lot of overthinking, and now comes a tragic moment when the most perfect couple ever in the history of Kdrama must separate ways Season 1, Episode 19, Scene 9 + Show Spoiler + Girl sits in front of computer, Skype on. Same for boy. Each are in separate rooms. Girl is waiting, boy logs on. Music: probably something by Yiruma - fine I'll just pick Kiss the Rain because everyone knows this one. Boy: Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. I was just helping my sister with homework. Girl: It's okay... I understand... Boy: Anyways, happy Valentine's Day! I've got something very special for you and it should arrive in a week or so. Girl: Thanks, I appreciate it... happy Valentine's Day to you too honey... Boy: Huh? You don't sound so good. Girl: hurrying Oh, it's nothing. I must be tired. How was your day- Boy: cutting off Wait a second, it's that Douche (yes I shall name him Douche) again isn't it. Kiss the Rain fades away, and When the Love Falls plays (this one is minor, was used in Winter Sonata if people remember) Girl: No, no definitely not him, why are you- Boy: I knew it! This is like the 5th he's visited in the last month. Didn't we discuss this earlier? We promised to be honest, we promised we wouldn't keep any secrets from each other! Why are you still letting him bother you like this? Girl: He doesn't bother me, it's okay, honestly. Boy: Oh yeah? Guess what, he bothers ME. If he doesn't bother you, then does he please you? Does he satisfy you when I'm not there for you? Girl: angry It's definitely not like that! What are you saying? Boy: You don't dare lie to me. You already lied to me already today and I'm not going to take any more lies. How dare you- Girl: Stop it! Stop it! I love you and you're the only one for me! Boy: Lies, lies! All lies! If you love me then how come you can't keep a simple promise? We agreed that that douche shouldn't get between us! Why is it that he hasn't got the message? Clearly you keep leading him on, you selfish b- Girl: It's NOT like that! I told you! He's a family friend and it's not easy for me to simply- Boy: ENOUGH! I'm trying so hard to make you happy, can't you see? Why can't you be happy, with me? Why do you have to be selfish like this? Girl: You know what, that's enough. I've had enough. See you tomorrow. logs off Skype, ends conversation Long pause, boy looking at his monitor, slowly puts his headphones down. Music reverts to the Kiss the Rain. Boy rolls his chair back, glances around and notices all the gifts he prepared for her to send on Valentine's Day. Boy: ... What have I done? Ending credits + Episode 20 previews! Season 1, Episode 20, Scene 1 + Show Spoiler + 10 minutes of last episode summary. End of summary - boy at his room, next morning. Normal day for boy, he has flashbacks of what he said the prior night. He screws up his morning midterm because he only filled in his name and didn't write any answers down. He takes two bites of his lunch then throws it away. He daydreams through the afternoon. He takes one spoon of his dinner, leaves it there, then goes back to his room. He logs onto Skype. Slow, melancholic Kballad is playing the background. Boy: seeing that Girl is already online Hey. Girl: Hey. Boy: Look, I'm really sorry. Girl: It's okay, I understand. Boy: I got caught up in the moment and said so many things I didn't mean. I really didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. Girl: It's okay. I've made up my mind. Boy: Oh? Erm, so does that resolve our problems then? I'm glad you realized- Girl: No, it's not like that. mandatory brief pause Girl: I don't want to be with you any longer. that Kballad song almost reaching the climax part Girl: Look, we've been through a lot. I was happy, really happy with you. You're a great guy and I'll never meet another person like you. You make me truly happy. tearing up But... but I don't think I can do the same to you any more. Boy: No, no that's wrong. Wrong. You, girl, you're the perfect person for me and I am who I am because who you are- Girl: cutting off Ever since my father passed away, you filled in the void of my heart with your love. I appreciate it, I really couldn't have made it without you. But crying you've been angry because of me. All because of me. Now it's time for me to make you happy... by leaving you. Good bye, love... Good bye. Kballad song CLIMAX Boy: No! Don't hang up! This is not good bye. We love each other. You know it. We can make it work, still. This is not- Girl: Good bye! Good bye!! ... Good bye, love... *click* Girl has logged off Skype Boy: No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Kballad song that was playing now ends softly. Boy: No......... grabs the gifts and fidgets around with them no......... Main theme of the drama plays, and brief cutscenes from past episodes play. Boy: No. Dun dun dun! New theme song plays (to be used in Season 2), showing Season 2 Episode 1 previews. *Edit1: Put spoilers for... saving space. Okay now for the actual advices or whatever. I'm sorry to hear how the shit went down, but I seriously think that this is not the end of the story. There's going to be more to it. You're going to send those things for her anyway. She will receive it. Strong emotions don't fade so suddenly like that. Whether season 2 starts tomorrow, in a week, or even several months later - there will be season 2. Your job is to be ready for season 2. Being ready doesn't mean you go read all her letters and visit all the memories and feel like shit all the time. Being ready means moving on as usual - doing things you love (other than her, I guess. ugh, didn't mean to be so punny), accomplishing your education/career goals, and enjoying life. Maybe season 2 will be her coming back at a busy time of your life, and struggling to find you back. Maybe season 2 will have another major character (girl) who connects you two back. Maybe season 2 will have a new girl. Who knows! loooool opshot marry me Now I can't get the image out of my head of like, rotinegg wandering around forlornly in the city as the snow falls, Baek Jiyoung singing 잊지말아요 softly in the background. But it's okay! In K-dramas, the cute boy always gets together with the cute girl. Things will work out in the end ^_^ | ||
|
ymir233
United States8275 Posts
Perhaps the anger thing is a bit unreasonable. Dumb ppl that don't know how to read the mood can make ANYBODY infuriated (esp. when they can't be removed like a cockroach on the wall) but I think those bouts of anger is pretty much why this became such a sensitive situation. Gotta ride stuff out (and shut him out and down) as long as you know your girl's with you. | ||
|
Jaybles
United States22 Posts
| ||
| ||
