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These arguments are dumb and I shouldn't be having them with friends at my age -- but it came up and I couldn't leave it alone because I honestly think my friend is nuts.
So here's the hypothetical situation.
A grown wolf (95 pounds, 6 feet long) is charging out of the forest coming straight for you (moving around 40 mph), you are equipped with a golf club.
Do you:
A.) Line your self up to take a full swing at the wolf when it comes in range (where it would be in the air because it would have pounced by then).
B.) Hold the golf club in front of you as a barrier and try to push the wolf back, then run OR wrestle.
C.) Run
My friend was convinced that he could kill a wolf with a golf club, his logic being:
*If people can hit baseballs going much faster than 40 mph, he could nail a pouncing wolf with a golf club before it got to him
*The blow (assuming it landed) would break a bone and the wolf would be left defenseless
*If a bone didn't break, it would still knock the wolf off course and give enough time for another swing.
My logic being:
*Because the tip of golf clubs are quite small in comparison to the shaft, you would most likely hit the wolf with the shaft (if you managed to hit it at all), doing considerably less damage.
*I doubt you could hit a 40 mph pouncing wolf, or at least any where near good enough to do anything significant (baseball is a terrible analogy IMO).
*Assuming you nailed this amazing swing, you would not have time to throw another one before the wolf was back on you.
So he is for option A -- knock the wolf down and eventually kill it, and I am for B -- protect your throat and push the wolf away and go from there.
This sounds like a joke and it's immature argument, but IMO saying you can kill a charging wolf with a golf club is absolute BS.
What's your take on it?
Poll: Would you say (confidently) that you could kill a wolf w/ a golf club?
(Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
  
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is awesome32269 Posts
I hit the wolf. But time it so you can hit him a little under the jaw. As soon as you hit him, drop the bat and run as fast as you can...
...cause if the wolf doesn't go off bounds he could be thrown back and you would be out.
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I'm pretty sure just looking menacing enough by flailing your arms about/posturing aggressively with the club would make the wolf just not attack you. They are pretty smart, and they can't eat a full human, so there is really no reason for them to attack you unless you are encroaching on its young.
Edit: And plus, it took me like 3 swings to kill that hooker last year, so I doubt I could get the wolf in just one.
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First of all I don't think wolves are 6 feet long. 40 mph is fucking fast as shit too. But I'll just accept your parameters. Assuming you have enough time to prepare, the best way to kill a dog or wolf attacking you is to move sideways when it lunges, and get behind its mouth, arm around its neck, then just try to break it or crush the windpipe while hanging on as hard as you can. As long as you're behind its jaws then it can't really do anything other than scratch you with its hind legs, and hopefully you can resist that pain. I probably wouldn't use the club at all, because swinging it takes away your opportunity to get behind the jaws when the wolf lunges at you.
Can you lift 80 pounds? Then you can break a wolf's neck. I have no idea if that's accurate or not, but I'm guessing it's at least correct, no idea how close to the actual force necessary to break a wolf neck it is though. 
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I would enter primal mode and wrestle the shit out of that fucker
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Well theoretically wolves hunt in packs only, if one was alone it would have to be injured or sick. If you could clearly see it coming at you and had enough time to react I think you could defend/dodge the initial attack and then go from there. At first I sided with your friend but I read some of your arguments such that the head of the club is rather small and if you miss you're pretty much out of luck. Also you leave yourself so open so its all or nothing. I think the best thing to do would be to defend the initial attack then use your weight/intelligence to kill it or get away. (Personally I weigh around 180 so I think I could use that to my advantage/About twice the weight of the wolf). As long as you protect your throat and groin I think you could handle taking it out. But to simply answer your question I think your friend better be Tiger Woods if he hopes to kill a wolf with his golf club.
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wolves can't run at 40 mph.... can they?
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konadora
Singapore66117 Posts
Unless it's a golf club with metal spikes sticking out...
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A obviously
I think you would be able to stun a wolf for a bit with a golf club if it were a glancing blow...
A baseball bat might be better though.
B is pretty stupid and you wouldn't be able to outrun a wolf, unless you are training for the olympics or something, and even then, it might not go well for you.
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The only way to find out is in real life and nature does not follow logic, it makes it's own.
A golf club? Not enough control as a weapon or mass to give it the force you would need to knock down a pouncing wolf in mid-air lol? Heck you would most likely not even land the swing, if a grown wolf was charging at you for the first/only time in your life "out of the forest" you would freeze in fear...your brain's defensive system would leave you in shock...trust me, unless your like used to such life/death situations with animals.
+ Show Spoiler +Your friend IS nuts & bolts.
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On August 02 2009 17:49 Cambium wrote:
wolves can't run at 40 mph.... can they?
Yes they can. And you have no chance against a wolf. I would say your best bet is to try to hit him with the golf club. this will fail of course, but you are dead anyway, so it doesn't really matter that much.
People who think they could wrestle against a wolf have never seen one in real life. If he attacks to kill you there is nothing you can do. He may weigh less than a human, but he his way stronger. Especially a 95 pound one.
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On August 02 2009 17:57 Dagor wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 17:49 Cambium wrote:
wolves can't run at 40 mph.... can they? Yes they can. And you have no chance against a wolf. I would say your best bet is to try to hit him with the golf club. this will fail of course, but you are dead anyway, so it doesn't really matter that much. People who think they could wrestle against a wolf have never seen one in real life. If he attacks to kill you there is nothing you can do. He may weigh less than a human, but he his way stronger. Especially a 95 pound one.
i took on a army of wolves.. fuckin not normal wolves.. i was feeding the birds out side and fuckin a pack of wolves came sprinting at me // no reason// i screamed '' YOU WANT SOME YOU FUCKS '' a few ran off at the scream.. neighbours ran inside and locked all there doors. any ways around 10-12 ware wolves came at me i grab a semi automatic from my back room and started LOZIN IT SCREAMING '' FUCK WITH ME YOU FUCK WIF DA BEST FUCKAZ ''
eventually after 40 mins of a massive shoot out i eventually grabbed a knife cause i ran out of ammo and started to fuckin rack up some speed bass to be like more alert n shit and fuckin went insane i ran through my double brick house wall like they was paper, wet paper at that
i lost it so hard i fuckin grabbed a ware wolf by the balls and ripped them off and shoved them up his ass he ran for his life.. any ways four of five came at me with claws of Fury 'Slash SHAWISH '' fuckin im ducking and weaving and then suddenly .. one cut's me in the fuckin chest a massive blow i took, my eyes turned red bro and i grabbed the dog kunt by the neck hairs and ripped off his wolly skin.. as '' IN MOTION '' i was rippin it off i cloths lined two wolves and chopped there heads off with his skin/ then there was the master one left
the '' grand FUCKIN master '' im tellin ya bro he had teeth like a walrus but made of fuckin steel cuz any ways he he comes at me with a scissor kick move that ive never encountered before and BOOOOOM BANG!!! two holes in my fuckin arm he puts fuckin punctured the fuck out of me fuckin punctured the fuck out of me
i then fell down a cliff into a river of crocadiles, a croc went to attack me and i bit its eyes off mother fucker took then another bite off me but this time i bit its body in half.. any ways the GRAND MASTER WOLVE was like 5 meters away and he came to a complete stop .. i was wounded ... wounded very badly i then came at the point where its me or the wolve so i whip out my knife and then the ware wolf comes at me with them fuckin claws the size of machettes... the wolve throws all five of his machette claws towards my face i back flip onto a branch and fuckin landed behind him I LOST IT SO HARD I DID A LEBANESE SWIFT KICKED HIS ASS CHEECKS APPART
MOTHA FUCK DIED ON THE SPOT
fuckin coccaroach, i spat at him landed in his ear and then pissed on him as he took his last breaths. im still hurting from that battle man he was a fuckin beast, a BRUTAL warrior, that ive personally taken down him and his smelly army. killed them ware wolves.. im lozin it hard core ..
(source : http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=32757¤tpage=All)
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If you can lift 95 pounds deadweight doesn't mean you can lift a ravaging feral animal of the same weight. A wolf s neck is tough with a lot of muscle. An avarage person could would not be capable of breaking its neck.
You would have to be very lucky to hit it on the temple or crack its lower jaw. If it gets seriously injured it will retreat.
A wolf or a dog with 1 broken leg can still run as fast as a man.
In general wolves avoid humans because we have the upper hand since about a milion years. (spear, handaxe, knife, club, sling, archery etc.)
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is awesome32269 Posts
aw fuck, NoW beat me to it
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Osaka27130 Posts
You would have to swing a miracle shot to hit the head of wolf with the head of the club. Most likely you would hit it with the shaft, doing nothing, or hit the wolf's body, which is bone and muscle. You aren't going to hurt it there.
Alternatively, you could break the head off the shaft, and use the shaft like a spear. That might bring better results.
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South Africa4316 Posts
I'd say from your narrow parameters, that option A makes way more sense. Your poll is set up so that you can only really choose "No" (because no-one would be confident you can kill it). However, faced with that situation, I think your chances of harming/scaring the wolf with the initial swing is much higher than blocking and running (didn't you say it runs at 40mph?). So your only option would be to block and wrestle, and honestly, you've got way better chances killing a wolf with a golf club strike than trying to wrestle with a wolf standing in front of you.
Also, I don't quite see how you're going to block in the first place? Are you just going to point the club at the wolf as it runs at you, do you think that will deter the wolf? or are you going to hold in horizontally and then try to push it into the wolf's mouth when it leaps? Trying to strike him seems like a much better deterrent than any of these options.
However, if NoobsOfWrath's hypothesis of dodging an attack really works, then I would try that with the club. Dodge, use club to choke wolf. I think if you can get behind the wolf with a club, then killing it would be possible. I'm not quite sure how you pounce on it from behind though. The wolf is running at 40mph, and it jumps at you. You step out of the way, and it flies passed you. Now, unless the wolf stops dead for a second to turn, it's going to be far away before you can get onto it, and it will take a running turn like dogs do.
In the end, perhaps try dodging and swinging? Hold the club as if you'll swing in the opposite direction as the wolf is coming in from, and then as he jumps, dodge and swing, and try to hit him on the back of the head. The most important brain processes are situated at the back of the head just above the spine, and they've got the least protection (which is why boxers aren't allowed to box from behind), so if you can hit him there, you've got a much better chance of killing him or stunning him. Also, 40mph is not as fast as a club, and from behind there's less likely to be as many limbs in the way. Eitherway, even if you miss you still get a second chance.
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erm..no
think of the momentum a 95 lb object would have moving at 40 mph...combined against the speed of your swing, assuming you even hit the damn thing, the force of that is gonna bend that club like a twig. Common clubs are just hollow shafts made from aluminum or sometimes carbon fiber; there's no way the club itself will hold up swinging it against the charging animal.
even so, the amount of damage you could do with said club to something as big as a wolf is not significant with a single swing (which is all you are gonna get). Not to mention it's a fucking WOLF, which means it kills things bigger than you routinely.
your best bet, realisticly,is to try to block it with the club because you wont be able to get away obviously, and then try anything you can to get ahold of its throat. Your only real advantage in a fight of this nature is your ability to grapple with an animal that can only bite you to cause life threatening injury, so you have to use your hands and your arms to "handle" it so to speak. I say go for the throat because the only way you are gonna take down this wild puppy is to either choke it or break its neck, but it unlikely you could get ahold of it well enough to snap its neck; we're talking about a large predatory animal with (from the situation in OP) intent to kill, so naturally it's going to be very agressive and wont just let you grab it.
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Artosis
United States2140 Posts
i dont think i could kill the wolf with the swing unless pure luck (so probably _i_ would, but most people are not as lucky as i), but its better choice than running or using it as a barrier.
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I would probably wield the club vertically over my head like an executioner sword instead of baseball style. Should make it easier to hit. If the first hit actually connects, chances are the wolf will run away. If it doesn't, GG.
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On August 02 2009 18:16 Manifesto7 wrote:
You would have to swing a miracle shot to hit the head of wolf with the head of the club. Most likely you would hit it with the shaft, doing nothing, or hit the wolf's body, which is bone and muscle. You aren't going to hurt it there.
Alternatively, you could break the head off the shaft, and use the shaft like a spear. That might bring better results.
that's absolutely retarded. i thought u were supposed to work as a park ranger.
wolves are pack animals. they rarely hunt alone.
if it's you vs a lone wolf, it probably would only attack you if it thought u were really weak. otherwise, it wont be as aggressive as say, a cougar or a tiger.
as soon as you hit it, regardless of whether there are any broke any bones, the wolf would decide that it's not worth attacking you. There are fucking deer and other wildlife out there for it to eat that aren't swinging golf clubs around.
I would suggest roaring like a madman and swinging your club like crazy, and using your arms to spread out your jacket so you look bigger, then don't back up or ever show any signs of weakness. try to get a nice swing at it's head or claws. into the body with the brunt of the club would work if you could hurt some bones. but you only get 1 good shot. if it doesn't do enough pain or damage, ur done for.
if it does, the wolf will back off even if it's not mortally injured.
"fuck u golf bitch, i go find some deer. this shit aint worth it."
that's waht it'll say if wolf can talk.
peace out
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btw, in chinese history, there are tons of stories about wandering martial artists who run into wild animals while traveling at night
the general consensus from those guys was that wolves are easy peezy, but tigers are not good news. especially hungry tigers.
wolves are pathetic apparently when it comes to 1 on 1 combat. but if it's a pack of wolves, that's different of course.
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On August 02 2009 18:59 Polyphasic wrote:
btw, in chinese history, there are tons of stories about wandering martial artists who run into wild animals while traveling at night
the general consensus from those guys was that wolves are easy peezy, but tigers are not good news. especially hungry tigers.
wolves are pathetic apparently when it comes to 1 on 1 combat. but if it's a pack of wolves, that's different of course.
how about you test that theory developed from chinese legends in reality?
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As said before, wolves hunt in packs and there's little chance you encounter a stray wolf. And even if you do, I'm pretty sure he won't attack you at 40mph, but rather stop at a close distance to you and then try to find a good place to bite. Overall, I don't thick a direct golf club hit would do anything more than knock him down for a short time.
I'd just hit and run.
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Throw the golf club behind it as a distraction as I kick it in the throat, instantly ending the scuffle with me as the victor.
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i think itd be tough to thump a wolf in a good enough spot to really disable it with such a clumsy weapon like a golf club, if it was a baseball bat or cricket bat it would probably be a different story.
wiki says wolf jaws are about twice as strong as dogs so i dont fancy the chances of a golf club standing up long against it.
i have no idea about the physiology of a wolf and if it is actually possible to choke or break one's neck, but i think a good bet would be waiting for the wolf to lunge at u and kicking it. if u have solid enough boots u might be able to catch it right in the mouth and really fuck up its neck and jaw
but i have no idea tbh
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Hitting it is doomed. Running is doomed. Blocking the wolf is doomed.
One option:
Tame it.
+ Show Spoiler +You can come to this thread to thank me afterwards.
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I would burrow and hope he has no science vessel with him.
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D.) Enter hand to hand combat after getting a good CRACK upgrade
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E. Shout like a little sissy girl and die
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best move would be to sidestep the leap and aim for the head...
any blow that doesn't kill the wolf is gonna leave you in serious trouble, even if you break a rib or leg of his, he's still going to kill the fuck out of you if he wants
edit:
actually if you're big enough and good at fighting (wrestling doesn't seem like such a good one) then I think as long as the wolf didn't knock you over you'd be fine
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in a life or death situation, wolfy dies every time.
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Well, speaking as a Professional Wolf Fighter,
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Ok well here goes... Im his friend that got in this argument with him. Let me set a little more strict paramaters... the wolf is intent on killing you and will not retreat until you are dead. You are on a golf course, are a good yardage away, and aware the wolf is going to try to kill you; giving you ample time to prepare for a swing.
**SINGLE WOLF** no pack.
** Using an iron not a wood (a little more sturdy and shorter allowing the whole club to at least have some sort of power behind it)**
Also the word confidently seems to edge any normal person to say no so he worded it in his favor... Im not going to grab a golf club and go wolf hunting.
Im making a point that a melee armed person could beat a single wolf and that it doesnt escape the realm of possibility.
Also option B is a 10x worse idea IMO. Sorry bro.
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I'd run if running was a viable option and if not I'd take my chances taking one good swing, although I'm pretty sure I'd be fucked. Also, I'm not certain the wolf would outright do a running jump on you. It might come to a stop, and get down in pouncing position a few feet away in which case you're 100% fucked because you won't be able to react and swing fast enough when it jumps.
I can relate to this because just today I had a similar experience to the one in the OP. Except the wolf was a 6lb schnauzer but the fucker still almost bit me and was relentless in chasing me (I was going for a run.) I finally turned and stared it down while it's stupid owner who had been sitting with it in her front yard with no leash came and picked it up.
btw: Option B is like 100% death unless you're Rambo maybe.
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It would require a lot of luck in order to hit it in the face...however I dont agree that it hitting it elsewhere wouldnt help, we're talking about a golfclub here, the impact would be really really hard, so I think hitting the body/legs would slow him down/scare him off...
..but he'd probably win  So im voting no.
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I think i would completly destroy the average dog with a golf club but a wolf is a different story eh.
However i think he needs to be really hungry or to have rabies to attack alone a large prey like me.
I guess i would face him, make lot of noise and try to scare him eh ;<
Btw i'm convinced that a guy like Fedor can kill a wolf with his bare hands. RnC ftw.
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Well, first you probably won't even see the wolf in time. If you're both in the forest, it's not like a pitcher at a mound, it's like a commando pitcher hiding behind a tree and then hurling a fastball at you while you're looking away.
That makes the 40 mph seem a lot faster. The fastest human runs 25 mph, so a fast wolf can definitely do 35.
If I did see it I'd hide behind a tree and try to get it while it turns to face me. You're probably going to miss the first swing, but if you do manage to hit it, you don't have to kill it. It's the predator, so it loses and has to back off if it suffers severe injury.
Choking: you think you're going to get behind the wolf? You're better off forcing the golf club between its jaws and then gouging it's eyes out.
If you're in an open field against 1 wolf, I'd say get on your back like in mma, feet towards the wolf, hold the club in front of your throat. If it goes for your legs whack it in the head. If it goes for your throat, get the club in the jaws, use your arms if you have to, and gouge its eyes or give it a wet willy.
If it's a pack of wolves, climb a tree and call someone with your cell phone. Come on, if you're carrying a golf club you must be carry a cell phone. If it's a pack of wolves, call immediately, #pray, try to be intimidating and hope the Po-lice can come to clear the creep camp before the severe tissue damage you're about to receive becomes fatal tissue damage.
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Braavos36372 Posts
You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack. Though when TeamLiquid brought Manifesto home I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So where there two of, there was two of us in the wolf pack.. I was alone first in the pack and then Manifesto joined in later. And six months ago when Manifesto introduced me to the rest of MiR, I thought, “Wait a second could it be?”. And now I know for sure.. I just added more guys to my wolf pack. Four+ of us wolves, running around the internet together in TeamLiquid; looking for progamers and playing Starcraft. So tonight, I make a toast!
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Like others have said, I don't think many people would be confident about killing the wolf. That being said, I like that idea much better then just blocking the wolf. It is possible to hit the wolf in the head hard enough to either knock it senseless or deter it from further attacking you, however I don't see how you're going to out muscle or wrestle a wolf coming at you. There is no way you're running away from it, so it essentially comes down to using the club effectively. I'd say your best chance is to sidestep it the wolf as it lunges and throw a thunderous swing hoping to hit something. Even if you hit a leg you may be able to cripple it enough that you can get the hell out of there.
Why golf club btw? If this were a bat, I'd say your chances are much higher, but a golf club is such an odd weapon choice.
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Oh, and not sure how similar coyotes are to wolves, but at work I often encounter a coyote that is about the size of a German Shepherd (I'm pretty sure it is always the same one) and it has never once been aggressive towards me in any way. (By 'encounter' I mean we both spot each other from about 25-50 yards away, observe each other for a few seconds, and then go on about our business. I'm not trying to sound like a badass or anything, because if he ever decided to charge me I would be able to get back into my cart before he got to me, so that is the only reason it isn't scary for me.) I'm pretty sure the wolf, unless it had rabies or something, would rather leave you alone than fight you, unless it was with its pack, in which case you are probably screwed unless you have a gun.
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i think best bet is to hit the wolf hard enough to stun it then run, but it's unlikely you'll come out unscathed either way. I definitely dont think a golf club is strong enough to kill the wolf though.
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I think the golf club would be sufficient to kill a wolf... to a trained fighter. The average man would just piss his pants, flail the club around like an idiot, and get killed. Have you ever seen two average guys fight? (Not trained in martial arts) You'll see a lot of ineffective flailing, grappling, and grunting. If you were to approach these guys normally and ask them if they knew how to throw a punch, they'd probably say yes. But the point is that in an actual fight, when they've got this huge adrenaline rush, and they're in an unfamiliar situation, they won't be able to throw anything that even resembles an effective punch.
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United States22883 Posts
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well i would swing it like a bat, not like i was golfing
and i don't think It would be that hard to nail the wolf in the head. i can nail a baseball with a bat, which is smaller than a wolf head and moving much faster - AND not connected to a body.
and I think that the blow might kill the wolf. that is a lot of force over a small area. but I definitely wouldn't be confident about it. but I don't think it would keep coming after me.
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On August 03 2009 13:34 Jibba wrote:How about vs this?
Speed dial Michael Vick?
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um... I'd just try to scare it away because in a real fight there's no way to win lol
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On August 03 2009 09:31 Hot_Bid wrote:
You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack. Though when TeamLiquid brought Manifesto home I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So where there two of, there was two of us in the wolf pack.. I was alone first in the pack and then Manifesto joined in later. And six months ago when Manifesto introduced me to the rest of MiR, I thought, “Wait a second could it be?”. And now I know for sure.. I just added more guys to my wolf pack. Four+ of us wolves, running around the internet together in TeamLiquid; looking for progamers and playing Starcraft. So tonight, I make a toast!
Finally someone talking some sense in this thread. Seriously where do people come up with this stuff?
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On August 03 2009 06:40 Granteli wrote:
Ok well here goes... Im his friend that got in this argument with him. Let me set a little more strict paramaters... the wolf is intent on killing you and will not retreat until you are dead. You are on a golf course, are a good yardage away, and aware the wolf is going to try to kill you; giving you ample time to prepare for a swing.
**SINGLE WOLF** no pack.
** Using an iron not a wood (a little more sturdy and shorter allowing the whole club to at least have some sort of power behind it)**
Also the word confidently seems to edge any normal person to say no so he worded it in his favor... Im not going to grab a golf club and go wolf hunting.
Im making a point that a melee armed person could beat a single wolf and that it doesnt escape the realm of possibility.
Also option B is a 10x worse idea IMO. Sorry bro.
I think most sane people in here would agree that you stand little chance against a wolf if you have a golf club -- although there is still a chance, of course.
So it really depends on what you actually think you'll be able to do, and if you can bet on making that same decision when the time comes.
The problem I have with swining the club, is that it would be nearly impossible to time the swing being as you don't know when this 35 mph wolf is going to pounce.
And of course the biggest problem -- being rushed at by a rabid animal known to tear animals to pieces -- are you that sure you'll be cool headed enough to time a swing with a golf club?
Or will you, perhaps by instinct, do the "oh shit get away from me stance" and defend your vitals, take the fight to the ground, and go from there (I agree running is dumb, I just put it up there as an option).
Now will you have a better chance on the ground? Hell if I know, you'll probably die. But I'd personally defend myself as opposed to putting my life into the hands of a near impossible clean hit from a golf club.
And don't try to criticize my poll when it describes exactly what you were thinking when this argument started -- you were cocky as hell, you were positive you'd kill a wolf if int he situation.
Which is why you're argument was in no way practical, as it was actually a situation where you would actually die 8/10 times.
So when your chances are 20% or less, don't talk like you know what you're doing.
And at the end of the day, 95% people would shit their pants and try to block the initial pounce with the golf club, as opposed to lining up for a home run swing.
sorry bro
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Guys i think the real question is.
Is this a normal Wolf
or a  Superiorwolf
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I'd take my chances with A
trying to run away from a wolf is an idiotic choice unless there's something very close by to climb up on that a wolf would not be able to traverse
I do not think me using a golf club as a barrier will do much to a 95 pound object running 40 mph straight at me. so I hope to god I make solid contact with the club and injure the wolf enough so that the wolf considers me a poor decision to continue attacking.
otherwise, I pray I end up at the wolf's back and controlling it's neck, although in all likelihood it would probably manage to spin around and I'd end up on my back facing a whole lot of wolf teeth
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When I went to Tibet, which has a rabid dog problem, or at least did several years ago, I remember hearing that it wasn't particularly difficult to deal with an attacking animal if you were prepared. As I recall, it was advised that you aim for the front of the jaw, which is weaker and a target that would render your canine attacker without means to hamstring you and tear out your throat. While I would imagine a wolf to be a far more dangerous foe than your average dog it's likely that the weak jaw thing would still apply.
With this rationale, I think I would go for the crippling blow with the bottom of my foot to the animal's jaw. I would use the golf club to either delay the charge or to incapacitate the wolf after the kick.
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On August 03 2009 15:59 Djabanete wrote:Show nested quote +On August 03 2009 09:31 Hot_Bid wrote:
You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack. Though when TeamLiquid brought Manifesto home I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So where there two of, there was two of us in the wolf pack.. I was alone first in the pack and then Manifesto joined in later. And six months ago when Manifesto introduced me to the rest of MiR, I thought, “Wait a second could it be?”. And now I know for sure.. I just added more guys to my wolf pack. Four+ of us wolves, running around the internet together in TeamLiquid; looking for progamers and playing Starcraft. So tonight, I make a toast! Finally someone talking some sense in this thread. Seriously where do people come up with this stuff?
I'm not sure if you're referring to HB's post or to the replies in the thread but if it's to HB's post it's from the movie The Hangover
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United Kingdom6633 Posts
I'd definitely hit it with the club, I might not damage it that much but it would almost certainly be better than holding the club up to try and just keep it back or running away. I think with multiple hard hits to the skull of the animal it could be taken down.
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Once again you are defending the **confidently** word when you know just as well as I do that noone would be confident. Good job wording it in your favor. Either way, it seems to me that the only shot you have is a crack at the damn thing and im one to play the odds. If i had a weapon against a wolf running 40 mph and the "fight or flight" instinct kicked in im going for the former. It sounds like a good percentage of people are saying the same thing so "95%" may be a bit skewed. However that extremely muscular dog would probably be better against a wolf than I would. (that picture is hilarious)
So if it came right down to it; Gratz on winning your rhetorically advantageous poll. On the other hand it seems alot of people agree option A is your best shot (based soley on this forum the number exceeds your assumed 5%) so your secondary argument was a bit of a bust. (if based on the poll and forum responses you chose to utilize)
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what the wolf is only 95 pounds? thats very light. btw ill make friends with the wolf.
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On August 03 2009 13:49 LuckyOne wrote:
Tiger Woods > wolf
Right, if you have some skill playing golf and/or tennis/baseball, etc. you can be fairly confident of landing a good hit.
Which brings me to the next question: how about with a baseball bat???
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Valhalla18444 Posts
smoke a fat joint with the wolf
THEN brain it with a golf club
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
I'm fairly confident i could kill it without a golf club.
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if you hit the wolf with the shaft the shaft would break 100% then youd probably be fucked.
Depends on which golf club. Putter or Wedge would do much more damage than say a driver or fairway wood!
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On August 05 2009 01:33 Granteli wrote:
Once again you are defending the **confidently** word when you know just as well as I do that noone would be confident. Good job wording it in your favor. Either way, it seems to me that the only shot you have is a crack at the damn thing and im one to play the odds. If i had a weapon against a wolf running 40 mph and the "fight or flight" instinct kicked in im going for the former. It sounds like a good percentage of people are saying the same thing so "95%" may be a bit skewed. However that extremely muscular dog would probably be better against a wolf than I would. (that picture is hilarious)
So if it came right down to it; Gratz on winning your rhetorically advantageous poll. On the other hand it seems alot of people agree option A is your best shot (based soley on this forum the number exceeds your assumed 5%) so your secondary argument was a bit of a bust. (if based on the poll and forum responses you chose to utilize)
But our initial argument was about the fact that you confidently said you could kill a wolf with a golf club -- and don't give me that bullshit by saying, "oh I guess I shouldn't have presented it like that."
You are lying if you say you didn't present it in a "Yeah I'd kill the wolf." You made the full swing seem like, "dude the wolf is such a big target, and people hit little baseballs going 90" -- that's basically saying, "I'm going to land this full swing easily and proceed to kill the wolf afterwards".
Please stop changing your argument because you realized your first one sounded like that of a 10 year old's, or better yet -- matej osaka's.
As for how you would fight the wolf with a golf club -- think as you please.
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