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These arguments are dumb and I shouldn't be having them with friends at my age -- but it came up and I couldn't leave it alone because I honestly think my friend is nuts.
So here's the hypothetical situation.
A grown wolf (95 pounds, 6 feet long) is charging out of the forest coming straight for you (moving around 40 mph), you are equipped with a golf club.
Do you:
A.) Line your self up to take a full swing at the wolf when it comes in range (where it would be in the air because it would have pounced by then).
B.) Hold the golf club in front of you as a barrier and try to push the wolf back, then run OR wrestle.
C.) Run
My friend was convinced that he could kill a wolf with a golf club, his logic being:
*If people can hit baseballs going much faster than 40 mph, he could nail a pouncing wolf with a golf club before it got to him
*The blow (assuming it landed) would break a bone and the wolf would be left defenseless
*If a bone didn't break, it would still knock the wolf off course and give enough time for another swing.
My logic being:
*Because the tip of golf clubs are quite small in comparison to the shaft, you would most likely hit the wolf with the shaft (if you managed to hit it at all), doing considerably less damage.
*I doubt you could hit a 40 mph pouncing wolf, or at least any where near good enough to do anything significant (baseball is a terrible analogy IMO).
*Assuming you nailed this amazing swing, you would not have time to throw another one before the wolf was back on you.
So he is for option A -- knock the wolf down and eventually kill it, and I am for B -- protect your throat and push the wolf away and go from there.
This sounds like a joke and it's immature argument, but IMO saying you can kill a charging wolf with a golf club is absolute BS.
What's your take on it?
Poll: Would you say (confidently) that you could kill a wolf w/ a golf club?
(Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
  
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is awesome32277 Posts
I hit the wolf. But time it so you can hit him a little under the jaw. As soon as you hit him, drop the bat and run as fast as you can...
...cause if the wolf doesn't go off bounds he could be thrown back and you would be out.
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I'm pretty sure just looking menacing enough by flailing your arms about/posturing aggressively with the club would make the wolf just not attack you. They are pretty smart, and they can't eat a full human, so there is really no reason for them to attack you unless you are encroaching on its young.
Edit: And plus, it took me like 3 swings to kill that hooker last year, so I doubt I could get the wolf in just one.
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First of all I don't think wolves are 6 feet long. 40 mph is fucking fast as shit too. But I'll just accept your parameters. Assuming you have enough time to prepare, the best way to kill a dog or wolf attacking you is to move sideways when it lunges, and get behind its mouth, arm around its neck, then just try to break it or crush the windpipe while hanging on as hard as you can. As long as you're behind its jaws then it can't really do anything other than scratch you with its hind legs, and hopefully you can resist that pain. I probably wouldn't use the club at all, because swinging it takes away your opportunity to get behind the jaws when the wolf lunges at you.
Can you lift 80 pounds? Then you can break a wolf's neck. I have no idea if that's accurate or not, but I'm guessing it's at least correct, no idea how close to the actual force necessary to break a wolf neck it is though. 
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I would enter primal mode and wrestle the shit out of that fucker
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Well theoretically wolves hunt in packs only, if one was alone it would have to be injured or sick. If you could clearly see it coming at you and had enough time to react I think you could defend/dodge the initial attack and then go from there. At first I sided with your friend but I read some of your arguments such that the head of the club is rather small and if you miss you're pretty much out of luck. Also you leave yourself so open so its all or nothing. I think the best thing to do would be to defend the initial attack then use your weight/intelligence to kill it or get away. (Personally I weigh around 180 so I think I could use that to my advantage/About twice the weight of the wolf). As long as you protect your throat and groin I think you could handle taking it out. But to simply answer your question I think your friend better be Tiger Woods if he hopes to kill a wolf with his golf club.
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wolves can't run at 40 mph.... can they?
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konadora
Singapore66358 Posts
Unless it's a golf club with metal spikes sticking out...
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A obviously
I think you would be able to stun a wolf for a bit with a golf club if it were a glancing blow...
A baseball bat might be better though.
B is pretty stupid and you wouldn't be able to outrun a wolf, unless you are training for the olympics or something, and even then, it might not go well for you.
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The only way to find out is in real life and nature does not follow logic, it makes it's own.
A golf club? Not enough control as a weapon or mass to give it the force you would need to knock down a pouncing wolf in mid-air lol? Heck you would most likely not even land the swing, if a grown wolf was charging at you for the first/only time in your life "out of the forest" you would freeze in fear...your brain's defensive system would leave you in shock...trust me, unless your like used to such life/death situations with animals.
+ Show Spoiler +Your friend IS nuts & bolts.
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On August 02 2009 17:49 Cambium wrote:
wolves can't run at 40 mph.... can they?
Yes they can. And you have no chance against a wolf. I would say your best bet is to try to hit him with the golf club. this will fail of course, but you are dead anyway, so it doesn't really matter that much.
People who think they could wrestle against a wolf have never seen one in real life. If he attacks to kill you there is nothing you can do. He may weigh less than a human, but he his way stronger. Especially a 95 pound one.
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On August 02 2009 17:57 Dagor wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 17:49 Cambium wrote:
wolves can't run at 40 mph.... can they? Yes they can. And you have no chance against a wolf. I would say your best bet is to try to hit him with the golf club. this will fail of course, but you are dead anyway, so it doesn't really matter that much. People who think they could wrestle against a wolf have never seen one in real life. If he attacks to kill you there is nothing you can do. He may weigh less than a human, but he his way stronger. Especially a 95 pound one.
i took on a army of wolves.. fuckin not normal wolves.. i was feeding the birds out side and fuckin a pack of wolves came sprinting at me // no reason// i screamed '' YOU WANT SOME YOU FUCKS '' a few ran off at the scream.. neighbours ran inside and locked all there doors. any ways around 10-12 ware wolves came at me i grab a semi automatic from my back room and started LOZIN IT SCREAMING '' FUCK WITH ME YOU FUCK WIF DA BEST FUCKAZ ''
eventually after 40 mins of a massive shoot out i eventually grabbed a knife cause i ran out of ammo and started to fuckin rack up some speed bass to be like more alert n shit and fuckin went insane i ran through my double brick house wall like they was paper, wet paper at that
i lost it so hard i fuckin grabbed a ware wolf by the balls and ripped them off and shoved them up his ass he ran for his life.. any ways four of five came at me with claws of Fury 'Slash SHAWISH '' fuckin im ducking and weaving and then suddenly .. one cut's me in the fuckin chest a massive blow i took, my eyes turned red bro and i grabbed the dog kunt by the neck hairs and ripped off his wolly skin.. as '' IN MOTION '' i was rippin it off i cloths lined two wolves and chopped there heads off with his skin/ then there was the master one left
the '' grand FUCKIN master '' im tellin ya bro he had teeth like a walrus but made of fuckin steel cuz any ways he he comes at me with a scissor kick move that ive never encountered before and BOOOOOM BANG!!! two holes in my fuckin arm he puts fuckin punctured the fuck out of me fuckin punctured the fuck out of me
i then fell down a cliff into a river of crocadiles, a croc went to attack me and i bit its eyes off mother fucker took then another bite off me but this time i bit its body in half.. any ways the GRAND MASTER WOLVE was like 5 meters away and he came to a complete stop .. i was wounded ... wounded very badly i then came at the point where its me or the wolve so i whip out my knife and then the ware wolf comes at me with them fuckin claws the size of machettes... the wolve throws all five of his machette claws towards my face i back flip onto a branch and fuckin landed behind him I LOST IT SO HARD I DID A LEBANESE SWIFT KICKED HIS ASS CHEECKS APPART
MOTHA FUCK DIED ON THE SPOT
fuckin coccaroach, i spat at him landed in his ear and then pissed on him as he took his last breaths. im still hurting from that battle man he was a fuckin beast, a BRUTAL warrior, that ive personally taken down him and his smelly army. killed them ware wolves.. im lozin it hard core ..
(source : http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=32757¤tpage=All)
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If you can lift 95 pounds deadweight doesn't mean you can lift a ravaging feral animal of the same weight. A wolf s neck is tough with a lot of muscle. An avarage person could would not be capable of breaking its neck.
You would have to be very lucky to hit it on the temple or crack its lower jaw. If it gets seriously injured it will retreat.
A wolf or a dog with 1 broken leg can still run as fast as a man.
In general wolves avoid humans because we have the upper hand since about a milion years. (spear, handaxe, knife, club, sling, archery etc.)
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is awesome32277 Posts
aw fuck, NoW beat me to it
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Osaka27172 Posts
You would have to swing a miracle shot to hit the head of wolf with the head of the club. Most likely you would hit it with the shaft, doing nothing, or hit the wolf's body, which is bone and muscle. You aren't going to hurt it there.
Alternatively, you could break the head off the shaft, and use the shaft like a spear. That might bring better results.
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South Africa4316 Posts
I'd say from your narrow parameters, that option A makes way more sense. Your poll is set up so that you can only really choose "No" (because no-one would be confident you can kill it). However, faced with that situation, I think your chances of harming/scaring the wolf with the initial swing is much higher than blocking and running (didn't you say it runs at 40mph?). So your only option would be to block and wrestle, and honestly, you've got way better chances killing a wolf with a golf club strike than trying to wrestle with a wolf standing in front of you.
Also, I don't quite see how you're going to block in the first place? Are you just going to point the club at the wolf as it runs at you, do you think that will deter the wolf? or are you going to hold in horizontally and then try to push it into the wolf's mouth when it leaps? Trying to strike him seems like a much better deterrent than any of these options.
However, if NoobsOfWrath's hypothesis of dodging an attack really works, then I would try that with the club. Dodge, use club to choke wolf. I think if you can get behind the wolf with a club, then killing it would be possible. I'm not quite sure how you pounce on it from behind though. The wolf is running at 40mph, and it jumps at you. You step out of the way, and it flies passed you. Now, unless the wolf stops dead for a second to turn, it's going to be far away before you can get onto it, and it will take a running turn like dogs do.
In the end, perhaps try dodging and swinging? Hold the club as if you'll swing in the opposite direction as the wolf is coming in from, and then as he jumps, dodge and swing, and try to hit him on the back of the head. The most important brain processes are situated at the back of the head just above the spine, and they've got the least protection (which is why boxers aren't allowed to box from behind), so if you can hit him there, you've got a much better chance of killing him or stunning him. Also, 40mph is not as fast as a club, and from behind there's less likely to be as many limbs in the way. Eitherway, even if you miss you still get a second chance.
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erm..no
think of the momentum a 95 lb object would have moving at 40 mph...combined against the speed of your swing, assuming you even hit the damn thing, the force of that is gonna bend that club like a twig. Common clubs are just hollow shafts made from aluminum or sometimes carbon fiber; there's no way the club itself will hold up swinging it against the charging animal.
even so, the amount of damage you could do with said club to something as big as a wolf is not significant with a single swing (which is all you are gonna get). Not to mention it's a fucking WOLF, which means it kills things bigger than you routinely.
your best bet, realisticly,is to try to block it with the club because you wont be able to get away obviously, and then try anything you can to get ahold of its throat. Your only real advantage in a fight of this nature is your ability to grapple with an animal that can only bite you to cause life threatening injury, so you have to use your hands and your arms to "handle" it so to speak. I say go for the throat because the only way you are gonna take down this wild puppy is to either choke it or break its neck, but it unlikely you could get ahold of it well enough to snap its neck; we're talking about a large predatory animal with (from the situation in OP) intent to kill, so naturally it's going to be very agressive and wont just let you grab it.
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Artosis
United States2140 Posts
i dont think i could kill the wolf with the swing unless pure luck (so probably _i_ would, but most people are not as lucky as i), but its better choice than running or using it as a barrier.
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EPT
