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Active: 1003 users

Need serious input - man w/golf club vs grown wolf - Page 2

Blogs > eMbrace
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Scorch
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Austria3371 Posts
August 02 2009 09:53 GMT
#21
I would probably wield the club vertically over my head like an executioner sword instead of baseball style. Should make it easier to hit. If the first hit actually connects, chances are the wolf will run away. If it doesn't, GG.
Polyphasic
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States841 Posts
August 02 2009 09:54 GMT
#22
On August 02 2009 18:16 Manifesto7 wrote:
You would have to swing a miracle shot to hit the head of wolf with the head of the club. Most likely you would hit it with the shaft, doing nothing, or hit the wolf's body, which is bone and muscle. You aren't going to hurt it there.

Alternatively, you could break the head off the shaft, and use the shaft like a spear. That might bring better results.


that's absolutely retarded. i thought u were supposed to work as a park ranger.

wolves are pack animals. they rarely hunt alone.

if it's you vs a lone wolf, it probably would only attack you if it thought u were really weak. otherwise, it wont be as aggressive as say, a cougar or a tiger.

as soon as you hit it, regardless of whether there are any broke any bones, the wolf would decide that it's not worth attacking you. There are fucking deer and other wildlife out there for it to eat that aren't swinging golf clubs around.

I would suggest roaring like a madman and swinging your club like crazy, and using your arms to spread out your jacket so you look bigger, then don't back up or ever show any signs of weakness. try to get a nice swing at it's head or claws. into the body with the brunt of the club would work if you could hurt some bones. but you only get 1 good shot. if it doesn't do enough pain or damage, ur done for.

if it does, the wolf will back off even if it's not mortally injured.

"fuck u golf bitch, i go find some deer. this shit aint worth it."

that's waht it'll say if wolf can talk.

peace out
can't making a relationship last longer than 2 weeks, since 1984 :thumbs:
Polyphasic
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States841 Posts
August 02 2009 09:59 GMT
#23
btw, in chinese history, there are tons of stories about wandering martial artists who run into wild animals while traveling at night

the general consensus from those guys was that wolves are easy peezy, but tigers are not good news. especially hungry tigers.

wolves are pathetic apparently when it comes to 1 on 1 combat. but if it's a pack of wolves, that's different of course.
can't making a relationship last longer than 2 weeks, since 1984 :thumbs:
diehilde
Profile Joined September 2008
Germany1596 Posts
August 02 2009 10:28 GMT
#24
On August 02 2009 18:59 Polyphasic wrote:
btw, in chinese history, there are tons of stories about wandering martial artists who run into wild animals while traveling at night

the general consensus from those guys was that wolves are easy peezy, but tigers are not good news. especially hungry tigers.

wolves are pathetic apparently when it comes to 1 on 1 combat. but if it's a pack of wolves, that's different of course.

how about you test that theory developed from chinese legends in reality?
Savior: "I will cheat everyone again in SC2!" - SCII Beta Tester
FirstBorn
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Romania3955 Posts
August 02 2009 10:39 GMT
#25
As said before, wolves hunt in packs and there's little chance you encounter a stray wolf. And even if you do, I'm pretty sure he won't attack you at 40mph, but rather stop at a close distance to you and then try to find a good place to bite. Overall, I don't thick a direct golf club hit would do anything more than knock him down for a short time.

I'd just hit and run.
SonuvBob: Yes, the majority of TL is college-aged, and thus clearly stupid.
Mazar
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States135 Posts
August 02 2009 10:39 GMT
#26
Throw the golf club behind it as a distraction as I kick it in the throat, instantly ending the scuffle with me as the victor.
Peanut Butter
Hiphopapotamus
Profile Joined July 2009
United States121 Posts
August 02 2009 10:59 GMT
#27
I would pretend that I was completely harmless and then pull out my chainsaw and kill it.
My lyrics are bottomless!
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
August 02 2009 11:00 GMT
#28
i think itd be tough to thump a wolf in a good enough spot to really disable it with such a clumsy weapon like a golf club, if it was a baseball bat or cricket bat it would probably be a different story.

wiki says wolf jaws are about twice as strong as dogs so i dont fancy the chances of a golf club standing up long against it.

i have no idea about the physiology of a wolf and if it is actually possible to choke or break one's neck, but i think a good bet would be waiting for the wolf to lunge at u and kicking it. if u have solid enough boots u might be able to catch it right in the mouth and really fuck up its neck and jaw

but i have no idea tbh
HEY MEYT
Mah Buckit!
Profile Joined April 2009
Finland474 Posts
August 02 2009 11:02 GMT
#29
Hitting it is doomed. Running is doomed. Blocking the wolf is doomed.

One option:

Tame it.

+ Show Spoiler +
You can come to this thread to thank me afterwards.
Starcraft? Epic Grimness.
Deleted User 37864
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
780 Posts
August 02 2009 11:03 GMT
#30
I would burrow and hope he has no science vessel with him.
gumbum8
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States721 Posts
August 02 2009 11:26 GMT
#31
D.) Enter hand to hand combat after getting a good CRACK upgrade
[image loading]
but really, has anyone REALLY been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
icystorage
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Jollibee19350 Posts
August 02 2009 11:36 GMT
#32
E. Shout like a little sissy girl and die
LiquidDota StaffAre you ready for a Miracle-? We are! The International 2017 Champions!
MannerMan
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
371 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-08-02 11:38:09
August 02 2009 11:36 GMT
#33
best move would be to sidestep the leap and aim for the head...

any blow that doesn't kill the wolf is gonna leave you in serious trouble, even if you break a rib or leg of his, he's still going to kill the fuck out of you if he wants

edit:

actually if you're big enough and good at fighting (wrestling doesn't seem like such a good one) then I think as long as the wolf didn't knock you over you'd be fine
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
August 02 2009 11:40 GMT
#34
in a life or death situation, wolfy dies every time.
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
floor exercise
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Canada5847 Posts
August 02 2009 13:22 GMT
#35
Well, speaking as a Professional Wolf Fighter,
Granteli
Profile Joined August 2009
United States2 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-08-02 21:49:03
August 02 2009 21:40 GMT
#36
Ok well here goes... Im his friend that got in this argument with him. Let me set a little more strict paramaters... the wolf is intent on killing you and will not retreat until you are dead. You are on a golf course, are a good yardage away, and aware the wolf is going to try to kill you; giving you ample time to prepare for a swing.

**SINGLE WOLF** no pack.
** Using an iron not a wood (a little more sturdy and shorter allowing the whole club to at least have some sort of power behind it)**

Also the word confidently seems to edge any normal person to say no so he worded it in his favor... Im not going to grab a golf club and go wolf hunting.

Im making a point that a melee armed person could beat a single wolf and that it doesnt escape the realm of possibility.

Also option B is a 10x worse idea IMO. Sorry bro.
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9109 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-08-02 22:35:52
August 02 2009 22:34 GMT
#37
I'd run if running was a viable option and if not I'd take my chances taking one good swing, although I'm pretty sure I'd be fucked. Also, I'm not certain the wolf would outright do a running jump on you. It might come to a stop, and get down in pouncing position a few feet away in which case you're 100% fucked because you won't be able to react and swing fast enough when it jumps.

I can relate to this because just today I had a similar experience to the one in the OP. Except the wolf was a 6lb schnauzer but the fucker still almost bit me and was relentless in chasing me (I was going for a run.) I finally turned and stared it down while it's stupid owner who had been sitting with it in her front yard with no leash came and picked it up.

btw: Option B is like 100% death unless you're Rambo maybe.
Epicfailguy
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Norway893 Posts
August 02 2009 22:48 GMT
#38
It would require a lot of luck in order to hit it in the face...however I dont agree that it hitting it elsewhere wouldnt help, we're talking about a golfclub here, the impact would be really really hard, so I think hitting the body/legs would slow him down/scare him off...

..but he'd probably win So im voting no.
Boblion
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
France8043 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-08-02 23:02:18
August 02 2009 23:00 GMT
#39
I think i would completly destroy the average dog with a golf club but a wolf is a different story eh.

However i think he needs to be really hungry or to have rabies to attack alone a large prey like me.

I guess i would face him, make lot of noise and try to scare him eh ;<



Btw i'm convinced that a guy like Fedor can kill a wolf with his bare hands. RnC ftw.
fuck all those elitists brb watching streams of elite players.
igotmyown
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States4291 Posts
August 03 2009 00:10 GMT
#40
Well, first you probably won't even see the wolf in time. If you're both in the forest, it's not like a pitcher at a mound, it's like a commando pitcher hiding behind a tree and then hurling a fastball at you while you're looking away.

That makes the 40 mph seem a lot faster. The fastest human runs 25 mph, so a fast wolf can definitely do 35.

If I did see it I'd hide behind a tree and try to get it while it turns to face me. You're probably going to miss the first swing, but if you do manage to hit it, you don't have to kill it. It's the predator, so it loses and has to back off if it suffers severe injury.

Choking: you think you're going to get behind the wolf? You're better off forcing the golf club between its jaws and then gouging it's eyes out.

If you're in an open field against 1 wolf, I'd say get on your back like in mma, feet towards the wolf, hold the club in front of your throat. If it goes for your legs whack it in the head. If it goes for your throat, get the club in the jaws, use your arms if you have to, and gouge its eyes or give it a wet willy.

If it's a pack of wolves, climb a tree and call someone with your cell phone. Come on, if you're carrying a golf club you must be carry a cell phone. If it's a pack of wolves, call immediately, #pray, try to be intimidating and hope the Po-lice can come to clear the creep camp before the severe tissue damage you're about to receive becomes fatal tissue damage.
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