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These are just some thoughts I have right now. It's a semi-rant, and nothing to serious. It's also a bit sappy for a sc forum, but bare with me 
Why is it that females can be the most wonderful, beautiful and amazings creatures on planet earth but also possess such dark sides to them as well?
To me, I love everything about a woman. Her smells and the softness of her skin. Her ability to laugh at all your dumb jokes. How she manages to find "cuteness" in your weird tendencies and habits. The list could go on forever.
But those same women also can act so crazy sometimes. For example, do you guys think that someone is in the wrong if they are say dating girl "A" and choose to go out to see a movie with just a friend who is also female? Lets say you are just in the dating stages with girl "A" and not in to that boyfriend/girlfriend commitment that causes you to have to rethink your actions and second guess your decisions based on the feelings of your significant other. How do you guage that, and more importantly give that up just to make your girl happy?
Poll: Would you give up hanging out with other girls for your main girl?
(Vote): I would give it up
(Vote): I would only give it up if she felt strongly against me hanging out with other girls 1 on 1
(Vote): No way, I do what I want
The same women you looked so fondly at and had such brilliant conversations with are all of a sudden angry at you more, and deciding that you treat them like shit based off your inability to take in account thier feelings above all else. You are now forced to argue and become the bigger person because we all know that the male will never win an argument. In fact, you can not become angry at all, you must stay calm and collected and apologize often, always reinforcing that you care and love your partner and would never do anything to intentionally hurt them!
So is it all worth it? In my young life, I would say yes. I mean, don't you love to have the ablity to hold someone in your arms, or having a girl who enjoys laying in your bed for hours just watching movies? There can be nothing better than that in this world, as I am a true believer that the simplier things in life are sometimes the most amazing. I guess the point I am trying to make is even though females come with so much baggage, look past it my fellow men and just remember that being with that special someone can make getting over thier crazyness almost worth it.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
its fine to see a movie with another girl that is just a friend but if you are dating someone you'd need to explain that to them beforehand and tell them they have been your friend a lot longer than you have been dating this new girl. Proper communication is what wins over these things. If she still is alljealous and upset that is a good indicator she is not a great girl for dating unless you expect to lock yourself away from all other girls forever.
Put yourself in her shoes. Would you like it if she told you after the fact that she just went to a movie with some dude but no worries, he's just a "friend?" Probably not. But had you guys discussed it the chances are better it'd be ok.
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I voted + Show Spoiler +
But then again I've been dumped twice, and the only person that's made a pass at me recently was a guy :<
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Canada7170 Posts
EDIT: ^LOL
It's a bit of a paradox. If she doesn't like me hanging out with my friends, then too bad. I don't know why I'd go out with someone like that in the first place.
So I really don't have an answer.
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If she can't handle me hanging out with other ladies then she isn't my type. Just because I'm in a relationship doesn't mean that the other half of humanity is suddenly ineligible for friendship.
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On May 29 2008 06:56 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
its fine to see a movie with another girl that is just a friend but if you are dating someone you'd need to explain that to them beforehand and tell them they have been your friend a lot longer than you have been dating this new girl. Proper communication is what wins over these things. If she still is alljealous and upset that is a good indicator she is not a great girl for dating unless you expect to lock yourself away from all other girls forever.
Put yourself in her shoes. Would you like it if she told you after the fact that she just went to a movie with some dude but no worries, he's just a "friend?" Probably not. But had you guys discussed it the chances are better it'd be ok.
I of course discussed it with her before hand. I told her that it was a friend that i've known for a long time, and that it was just a friend.
She just believed that it isn't right to do something like that being alone most importantly if you are dating someone (the principle I guess). Either way, I did it anyway, and am now paying the price for it.
She of course doesn't mind that I hang out with my friends, I don't want it to come off that she is controlling and psycho.. I guess she just was hurt by it or whatever.
Either way, it seems like I was put into a tough situation, as I had cancelled on this friend multiple times prior and was feeling bad about that as well.
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On May 29 2008 07:07 Xeris wrote:
welcome to girls.
thanks for introduction.. you must be the expert I was looking for.
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Sounds like she's walking all over you.
A girl friend's a wonderful thing but don't let it take over your life. If she gives you shit for going to the cinema with a friend even after you've explained and apologized, you need to gain her respect before you think about relationship.
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On May 29 2008 06:56 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
its fine to see a movie with another girl that is just a friend but if you are dating someone you'd need to explain that to them beforehand and tell them they have been your friend a lot longer than you have been dating this new girl. Proper communication is what wins over these things. If she still is alljealous and upset that is a good indicator she is not a great girl for dating unless you expect to lock yourself away from all other girls forever.
Put yourself in her shoes. Would you like it if she told you after the fact that she just went to a movie with some dude but no worries, he's just a "friend?" Probably not. But had you guys discussed it the chances are better it'd be ok.
All arguments that Incontrol is an irrational flamer who posts content-less tirades are hereby invalidated.
This reminds me of something though. I asked this girl to prom senior year, she said yes, then a few days later she said "sorry my boyfriend says no." He went to a different high school, and they were already going together to his prom! And of course I had known her longer than he had I went to Panera where he worked a couple of times, trying to get a chance to call him out, but he was never there when I went there. I even asked politely, "Is Sean working today?" But no luck -_-, it would have been epic.
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I don't even understand how people can ask questions like these. I could probably go clubbing and dance with other girls and she wouldn't get mad. I guess she may feel jealous, but then, so would I. I think if she got mad at me for going to the movies with a friend of mine, I'd laugh.
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I voted with "I would give it up."~ xO
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On May 29 2008 07:19 Oxygen wrote:
I don't even understand how people can ask questions like these. I could probably go clubbing and dance with other girls and she wouldn't get mad. I guess she may feel jealous, but then, so would I. I think if she got mad at me for going to the movies with a friend of mine, I'd laugh.
The more I hear, the more I like Canada. Is it the Paradise I envision it being?
And OP, if your GF got really mad because you went and saw a movie with a good friend who happened to have a v*****, and I guess broke up with you? then she's ridiculous. The alternatives are:
-Find a GF who's not crazy
-Don't tell your crazy GF when you're seeing movies with friends
Only choose the second option if she's mad hot, because it doesn't sound like her personality is that great.
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United States24805 Posts
On May 29 2008 07:25 Ancestral wrote:
Only choose the second option if she's mad hot, because it doesn't sound like her personality is that great.
Well, maybe if you are confident it isn't going to be long term...
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On May 29 2008 07:25 Ancestral wrote:Show nested quote +On May 29 2008 07:19 Oxygen wrote:
I don't even understand how people can ask questions like these. I could probably go clubbing and dance with other girls and she wouldn't get mad. I guess she may feel jealous, but then, so would I. I think if she got mad at me for going to the movies with a friend of mine, I'd laugh. The more I hear, the more I like Canada. Is it the Paradise I envision it being? And OP, if your GF got really mad because you went and saw a movie with a good friend who happened to have a v*****, and I guess broke up with you? then she's ridiculous. The alternatives are: -Find a GF who's not crazy -Don't tell your crazy GF when you're seeing movies with friends Only choose the second option if she's mad hot, because it doesn't sound like her personality is that great.
The second option is a terrible, terrible idea. Don't choose it unless you are ready to end your relationship.
I really think all of is this is just dependent upon the situation. Some girls are comfortable, some aren't. I know my finacee would probably flip shit if I did something like that, but of course I wouldn't be too happy the other way around. To me, going to the movies with a friend that is a girl, and only you two, its just....I don't know.. seems like a date - something I'd do with my fiancee.
Its all about just knowing your relationship and what you have. Incontrol got it right with communication is important, and if it doesn't work from there - you live, you learn, you move on.
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I guess you could try putting yourself in her situation. Would you honestly like it if she was hanging out with a guy, watching movies and whatnot just the two of them?
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Thats a good point berated, except I really wouldn't care if I was dating a girl and she went out alone with some other guy. If she cheated on me fine, I would expect her to tell me and I would just move on.
And if some of you are wondering, no she did not break up with me. In fact shes not really even that mad about it anymore.. I was just wondering what you guys thought about the whole situation.
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Berated, you're talking about your fiancée. I assume he's talking about a high school / college fling / relationship. And even if you're getting married, I guess some women wouldn't care if you have friends who are girls and some would.
I wouldn't care if my GF went out with a friend guy, unless they made out or had sex or something, providing they had been long-time friends.
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This is nothing to do with women or men, this is just to do with vulnerable people vs secure people. This girl is vulnerable and needy (probably an insecure,star sign like cancer, leo, taurus, scorpio), just like other girls are carefree and disloyal. In both cases of girl, you just have to weigh her good parts up with her bad parts.
PS. I have to say that I'm amazed men are so physically impressed and moved by girls. Physical features, PAH. Laughing at your dumb jokes, PAH. I treat all women like I treat all men, I select my girlfriend based upon whether I respect her as much as my best male friends or not. Smell, touch, beauty, sycophancy...are all bullshit. When it is irrelevant, that your girlfriend is a girl, when it comes to hanging out with her, you know you have something special. Otherwise you are just another animal looking to increase the herd size and you suck imho.
(ps for MY gf, DEFINITELY 'give it up')
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u have to have friends too
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EPT
