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Netherlands6181 Posts
Alright, I lied a bit in the title. This isn’t a girl blog, unless the bat is female. I just said that because Oldgrain told me to, so you can blame him.
OKAY, so….. on the 8th or 9th February a little fruit bat (or similar looking creature of the night) managed to fly into some power lines at my work. He got his wings caught on two wires, electrocuting himself to death. An alternative explanation is that it was actually a Vampire trying to get home before the sun came out, but failed, thus dropping from the sky and dying co-incidentally on the power lines. Whatever.
The problem is that this little bat has been there for a 3 weeks now and the exact location of those power lines is directly above the kitchen door.
And this bat is rotting.
Yesterday there was half a wing on the kitchen steps, and my co-worker claimed to have seen a maggot drop out of it last week. Over the weekend we had a storm which moved it slightly further down the line and it is now hanging from one foot. This is really throwing off my lunch schedule, I can’t bring myself to walk into the kitchen (or within 10m of it), especially not with food. Knowing my awful luck, it is going to fall on the very day that I walk underneath. So, here is a poll to make up for the misleading title:
Poll: Will the bat fall on me purely because I am paranoid of it happening?Yes (36) 84% No (7) 16% 43 total votes Your vote: Will the bat fall on me purely because I am paranoid of it happening? (Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
Not that I actually care what any of you vote, because I made a graph of what I think will happen:
Also, apparently having NSFW content in your post makes it more popular, so please find attached in the spoiler below a pair of healthy boobies.
+ Show Spoiler +
Also, no, the bat is not going to fall on me because I am not going within 500 fucking feet of it. I would rather skip lunch than walk anywhere near it with food.
  
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Russian Federation4050 Posts
The bat isn't going to fall on you just to fuck with your paranoia even more.
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My parent's attic was bat infested.
Apparently if you attach a bucket right below the entrance to the attic, the bats have to kinda drop out of the hole before they can start flying, and they just fall into the bucket and die there.
2 full buckets of dead bats later... no more infestation.
#justafricanthings
Edit: It occurs to me that I may not be being clear regarding how this works. There is literally a hole in the wall of their attic going outside (coastal town, temperature remains balmy year round, high humidity necessitates airflow). so you kinda hang a bucket out of it and presto dead bats. Just make sure its well secured as bats apparently can be heavy. What's worse than one dead bat falling on you? A bucket full of course.
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Can't you use a sling shot or somthin? I'm going to vote "yes" because you can never underestimate the power of negative vibration....
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Netherlands6181 Posts
Rofl, these responses...
Sn0_Man that is gross. Why would you want buckets of dead bats T_T thay are just going to keep coming. Ewewewwewewewew. Normally I like bats, but dead stuff.... yuk.
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LMAO
No actually it's been very successful at keeping their attic clear of bats. Its like leaving out rat poison or something.
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Batman will get you guys. Not talking about the superhero, just an environmentalist with a baseball bat 
Btw what's wrong with bataddict swag? Do they make noise or is it the free guano?
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here's my advice for you
![[image loading]](http://www.quickmeme.com/img/fc/fc28dc04598faf3620cffc765393b6ab1625ec1f5e3e0699f569df14746e9868.jpg)
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Lorning
Belgica34432 Posts
That bat isn't dead, It's just hibernating. And if you don't pay attention, it wakes up and bites you. You will turn into a vampire.
Rip dravernor.
btw
He got his wings caught on two wires, electrocuting himself to death.
I don't think it can die that way. It's not 'grounded'. Same reason birds don't die when they sit on power lines.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
you haters are just jelly you don't have corpses hanging above your heads at work.
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Since you are so paranoid there is a 99.997% chance that a different bat will fall into your dinner.
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Man, the one time I get credit for something my nickname is capitalized wrong!
Maybe the bat is cocooning and will soon wake up as a magnificient:
+ Show Spoiler +
5/5 would read again.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
On February 27 2014 04:04 Oldgrain wrote:Man, the one time I get credit for something my nickname is capitalized wrong! Maybe the bat is cocooning and will soon wake up as a magnificient: + Show Spoiler +5/5 would read again.
Whatchoo talking about, wrong? Sheesh.
Also, if I get to work tomorrow and find that bat has metamorphosed (?) into that... thing.... you will be receiving a parcel from Zimbabwe.
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What if it falls on you and you'll get superpowers?
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On February 27 2014 04:49 wingpawn wrote:
What if it falls on you and you'll get superpowers?
One does not simply have a bat fall on them.
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On February 27 2014 06:03 Archas wrote:Show nested quote +On February 27 2014 04:49 wingpawn wrote:
What if it falls on you and you'll get superpowers? One does not simply have a bat fall on them.
Unless you're dravenor.
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You're crazy, the bat isn't going to fall on you, its waiting until you bring a date/ relative close enough to it that it can fall on them.
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On February 27 2014 03:15 Lorning wrote:That bat isn't dead, It's just hibernating. And if you don't pay attention, it wakes up and bites you. You will turn into a vampire. Rip dravernor. btw I don't think it can die that way. It's not 'grounded'. Same reason birds don't die when they sit on power lines.
Birds only ever touch 1 wire. Touch 2 and you get electrocuted alright.
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Have you ever considered just throwing rocks at it till it falls off? I bet i could get that bat off in five tries or less.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
On February 27 2014 15:30 Jaaaaasper wrote:
Have you ever considered just throwing rocks at it till it falls off? I bet i could get that bat off in five tries or less.
I considered it, and I have pretty good aim (#subtlebrag) but I can't bring myself to interact with it in any way. Also there are a few windows nearby that people with a lesser arm may hit.
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Lalalaland34490 Posts
If you just stop observing it then it is both still there and not there any more.
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In all seriousness, you probably could have called the power company or something when it first happened.
Little late now though. Don't forgot you gotta dispose of the bat when it does eventually fall. That will be fun... :o
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It'll be more maggot then bat now anyway so I wouldn't worry
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Netherlands6181 Posts
Pfft. The power company wouldn't care. They don't even care enough to give us power for more than six hours a day at work  I tried the not looking at it thing but then I started feeling like bugs were crawling on me. Anyway, today I walked near it and it didn't fall. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
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On February 27 2014 20:32 dravernor wrote:
Anyway, today I walked near it and it didn't fall. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
It's just biding its time before it will ATTACK YOU FROM ABOVE!
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ALLEYCAT BLUES50120 Posts
what if the bat fell....in love with you?
then this would be a girl blog that was bat.
in all seriousness you'll be fine, you should probably walk up to the bat and yell "DROP DEAD BITCH!"
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Netherlands6181 Posts
Ew ew ew ew ew part of the bat is apparently on the floor. I can't bring myself to go and look. My accountant took great delight in telling me about it.
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from the sfw thread
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/2bysiAX.gif)
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On March 01 2014 00:39 insectoceanx wrote:from the sfw thread
No No I am the night. I am the nighhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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So adorable.
Did you know that bats can transmit Rabies?
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Holy shit bats are scary.
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
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Netherlands6181 Posts
Week 4. The bat is still there. My fear of it has diminished, and supplies are now being carried outside again at lunch time. It has moved even further down the line, lowering the odds of it falling on me except by way of a sharp gust of wind.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
The bat fell over the weekend. Only a wing remains on the line. I haven't gone to look for the corpse but I hope one of the wild cats carries it off.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Le6kjJK.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/fimcNad.png)
![[image loading]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PNbjaDw57Qs/Tt2I5X-Y-SI/AAAAAAAAANU/73FwQpBuM40/s1600/boobie_bird.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/e9905B0.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/JJk6G2B.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gBuCnKJ4SV0/UAP_E1tgd6I/AAAAAAAAAAU/HpSAsriH-CE/s1600/gh-malebat-16166.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/JT8JsWF.png)
